Meera

Im well over 2 months out. Get urself some sos sachets and mix it with Water and get them down you, they helped me alot inthe early days. You're most likley low in potassium and dehydrated thats why you're feeling weak. They can be purchased on Amazon.

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I’m so lightheaded feel like I’m weak when I was walking feeling like I don’t have strength I’m 11 days post op still having hard time drinking especially Protein Shakes

I really appreciate all of the kind words and advice that everyone has given me. I am definitely going to get out of here within the next few days, and I know that there is a counselor on campus, so that might be a good idea for me to look into. I feel a lot better now and certainly feel less bad about focusing on my own success. Everyone here is very kind and supportive and I am really happy to have found these forums. I may end up deleting this post later on since it is fairly specific to us and I do not want her to find it and then try to start a fight. And for a small update; As of right now, she is throwing a pity party, and when I spoke to her to try to keep things calm between us she just gave me a short response in a sad voice.
Again thank you to everyone who posted with advice, it was really needed and it was good to hear it from the perspective of people who really know what wls is like. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and a wonderful week!

This.

Children of alcoholic parents often get stuck in a care giving role of responsibility for the parent. They end up being thrust into a parental like role, which is enabling and unhealthy. You are NOT responsible for your mom, for her decisions, for her lies to the doctor, for her weight loss or lack there of, or for her long term success or failure. You are only responsible for YOU. For heavens sake, go to your OWN follow up appointments and let her go to hers. You are each on your own journeys in this. She is not going to stop drinking or smoking because of this surgery, and she may well develop complications because of that. You are not responsible for that - SHE is. She has you wrapped around her little finger. You can love your mom and wish the best for her, but you cannot live her life for her. You have one big job right now and that is to take care of YOU! Get yourself out of the house and back to college. You are putting your own success at risk by trying so hard to ensure your mom's success - but that is HER journey, not yours.
I strongly suggest you get to some Alanon meetings and learn how to be supportive without enabling, and how to take care of yourself. Please do this, or get some kind of counselling. Alcoholism is not a benign disorder. It deeply affects all members of a family in profound and damaging ways, You are on a whole new path now - a path to a healthy, long, happy life. You will be making many dietary and lifestyle changes, and I can tell you are determined to do this well and be successful. I truly believe you will achieve your goals in this. Be warned that your mom is probably going to try to undermine you, as her own progress slows down because of her compromises. You need to be as far away as possible so you can disconnect yourself from her issues. Your own life is complicated enough, and a responsible young lady like you does not need to be looking out for Mom. She is a grown up and can look out for herself and make her own choices. Please use this time to get healthy in every way - including mentally and psychologically. Some counselling regarding the alcoholic influence will be very helpful. Very best wishes to you.

Sorry if this is hard to understand, I am in actual tears and I just don’t know what to do. I desperately need advice or comfort or just something from people who may understand what I am going through and maybe know why I am feeling this way.
My mom and I had the bariatric sleeve surgery done 2 weeks ago and the experience with her that I have had has been mostly miserable and upsetting. I am extremely obese and have always had a very difficult time keeping the weight off. Long story short I went for a doctors visit and my doctor recommended that I get the bariatric sleeve to help me, since with certain medical issues such as PCOS it can be hard to lose the weight without help. My mother begged me to do it and said that she wanted me to be able to live past her and my dad, and then she went and said that she would do it with me. Now, to some this would seem like a thing of encouragement, and while I do believe that may be part of it, I truly do not believe that that is the true underlying reason.
You see, my mom is an alcoholic (she is viciously mean when she is drunk), and I believe that she is very self-absorbed. Not in the way that she thinks she is the greatest thing to walk the planet, but in the way that she always needs to be the center of attention. We haven’t always had the best relationship, as she has said and done many things that have really hurt me, and every time that we have tried to talk about these issues (when she wasn’t drunk) she always has some excuse, or blames everything on her past trauma, or how she just wants to let loose and have fun. A spitting example is how she once told me when she was drunk that she was just wanting to let loose, since she lost some of her twenties -aka the party years- due to having me. Almost every hurtful thing and word that she has said has stuck with me for a long time, and when my family tried to go to family therapy, my mom decided to stop since the therapist “kept saying that everything was her fault.” Another key thing is that she is also overweight, but not nearly as big as me, and she has tried hundreds of diets and pills and has never stuck to any of them for very long. Anyway, I tell you all of this so that maybe you understand why I think she mostly wanted me to do the surgery since I am clearly at more of a health risk and part of her wouldn’t feel right doing it without me. This of course could all be in my head.
So no, on to the real problem at hand. Ever since we have been released from the hospital she has not been doing well -I am a college student and came home for the recovery process but plan to move back to campus as soon as possible. At first it was just minor things that bugged me a little bit, such as every time a food commercial came on the television, she would moan about how the food looks so good and yadda yadda. This was minor, but it still bugged me since I too had gone through the surgery and did not need to hear her constant moaning about how good something looked on the tv. This coupled with the constants complaining about how much she was hurt, and how much she hates the blood thinner shots that we must give ourselves, slowly started to drive me up the walls. I HATE needles, but just recently I have been able to give blood and receive shots without crying, while she has literally been fine and delt with needles for years, but all the sudden she claims that she hates needles (which I mean who doesn’t, but come on). After I got annoyed enough, I watched her do the shot and saw that she had been doing it in a way other than the nurses had showed us, and when I tried to point it out to her, she waved me off and said that she was doing it the way that she was showed. Another thing with her complaining about her constant pain. The first night we got home, - 2 days post op- we both slept on the recliner couch. The next night she tried to sleep in bed, even though I had warned her against it. She tried for a few days, each day complaining about pain, while I suggested that she try sleeping on the couch again. I sleep on our recliner couch for nearly the two whole weeks that we have been home. I have finally been able to sleep in bed for the past two nights, and my pain is almost gone, while she claims to still have pretty bad pain. And guess where she has been sleeping the past few days. The couch.
Now comes the parts that have really been getting to me. She has not been following the diet plan that our Doctor gave us. First it was her not drinking enough Fluid, which I constantly had to tell her to do. Then, it was the incident that occurred a few days ago. Our doctor has us on full liquids right now, which consists of things like sugar free pudding, low-fat yogurt, chicken broth, and instant mashed potatoes. Well, a few days ago she went to the store with my brother, I cannot remember why I did not go, but I did not. When she came home, I went into the kitchen and saw a bag of open potato wedges and I instantly knew that she had some. So, I went and asked her, and she said that she did and that she made sure to chew them up well and that her stomach tolerated them just fine. Then I found the little foil covering of sour cream and knew that she had some of that as well. And while sure, potatoes mashed in your mouth is similar to mashed potatoes, the things that get me are: 1. They’re fried, which is an absolute no no as of right now, and 2. They aren’t on our list of approved foods so why even chance it. Anyway, I tried to move past that one and dropped it. Then tonight came. My mom made my dad and brother biscuits and gravy and eggs for dinner. I had some of the scrambled eggs because those have been approved by our doctor, and apparently, she had more than just eggs. Then, just a few moments ago, she came into the living room with a small bowl of chili. We are not supposed to be having chili for another day. And again, I understand that its only one day, but that fact that she cannot follow simple doctors’ orders has driven me mad. Now here’s the real kicker. Not only did she have the chili before she was technically allowed to; she put Fritos Scoops chips in it. Now I know for sure that we are NOT supposed to be having those. And then the smell of it and the anger drove me crazy, and I excused myself from the room, claiming that I had to go charge my phone.
Well, after I did not return for a few minutes she came looking for me and knew I was upset. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it and that it didn’t matter -I said this because my opinions and feelings have never ever felt like they mattered to her, especially when we are in conflict. She came and sat down and kept pushing asking me why I was mad and said things like “so you’re mad because I had chili one day early?” and then she used the, “I have already lost weight” which I replied I wasn’t talking about her weight and that didn’t matter. She also said that it should not matter since she didn’t make me eat it. I then told her I didn’t want to talk about it now and she finally left.
I know that I shouldn’t worry about it, and that I should just focus on myself, but it kind of feels undermining to me. She did not need this surgery as much as I did, but even still I feel like she doesn’t really care or understand how much effort this is. I honestly believe that she thinks she just going to get skinny and not have to do anything. She doesn’t exercise and clearly, she doesn’t have the willpower to not eat something if it looks or smells good, not to mention that fact that she never watched the hour long lecture the doctor wanted us to watch and just asked me what it was about and told me that she would watch it that night at work. Heck, she didn’t even know what the bariatric sleeve surgery really even was until a few days before the surgery when I mentioned that part of our stomach was going to be removed. I am just getting really upset at this point and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to have to lie to the doctor or listen to her lie to the doctor again -she has lied about her alcoholism, tobacco usage, and what she has been eating before the surgery- when we have our first post-op appointment. And I don’t even want to bring these things up to her, because she gets very combative when she gets defensive and is never able to see things past her own perspective. My dad says that it wasn’t me who needed her support in this, but that he thinks she needed mine, but at this point I don’t even know what to do. How am I supposed to support her when she cant even follow simple rules and restrain herself from eating things that she is not supposed to be eating? How am I supposed to look at that and make my own progress when she is making it seem like its fine to just go back to eating whatever I want whenever -which I know is not true. I know I have more willpower and restraint than she does; that fact has been made abundantly clear to me. I am just at a loss. I know her surgery is going to be pointless and she is going to complain when she plateaus or even gains the weight back. How do I keep myself from getting so upset over this? Am I just crazy? Am I acting selfishly? Please help. I am sure I did not include some of the information or things that have happened, but I know this has already been a lot to read.

@GradyCat The condition is called gustatory rhinitis and is common in bariatric patients. It is linked to "snatiation" or sneezing after eating and is a reflex.
I read somewhere that it has to do with stimulating a nerve in the upper stomach, now more sensitive or exposed due to the surgery. However, I cannot find the specific article or reference anymore.
Years ago, when I had a lap band, a runny nose for me was my "signal" that I was full or getting full and needed to stop eating. Since being sleeved, I still get the runny nose, but it's not as "free-flowing" whereas the sneezing really gets my attention. In my first 6 months, I would sneeze and sneeze and sneeze to the point where my co-workers would come to my office to make sure I was alright! These days, it's pretty common for me to sneeze once or twice after a meal (more if I've overindulged).

Did any one just stop sharing their progress with people they know because of their reactions?

I told my mum about my BMI victory and she said “b***h” her tone dripping with jealousy. She then asked me how much I weigh now and when I told her she said “f*ck you”. Once again with a jealousy and honestly a little pissy tone.
it hurt (I could feel myself mentally and emotionally recoil) and honestly makes me not want to share my progress with her any more. Even if she meant it jokingly (but seriously the jealous tone was there) it was still hurtful.
I know others have dealt with this sort of thing. How did you handle it? My mother is the kind of person where if I try to talk to her about the effect it had on me she’d get defensive and make herself into the victim (she does it every time someone tries explaining to her why something she said or did was wrong. She acts like a spoiled emo teen).

All of those foods sound amazing!! Let’s see what he says today, I’m meeting the surgeon for my two week appointment. Hopefully I can eat all of those things after this appointment!

I’ve been muddling through drinking my shakes and surviving. The hunger pangs are making me anxious though and I want to discuss that with my doctor as well.

Having been here a few months now, it’s become obvious that it’s so different for people having weight loss surgery in the UK. Procedures here before WLS is different. Most of the people over the pond have it through their insurance and this means a lot of pre operation meetings/assessments/work, over many months. In some ways I feel this is good, as people get to learn so much before having their surgery. However that’s not the usual way here in the UK. You tend to learn ‘in the moment’. If you are eligible for WLS through the National Health Service, you may have to wait for a long time, 2 to 3 or up to 10 years unless you are at the stage where your weight is life or death. So, many fund it themselves.
I think this site is excellent for advice and support however it does mainly tend to show what happens in the States, where you can buy certain things and what’s available. So here’s a few things (not exclusive, would love it if others add stuff here too) I have learnt in my very short weeks since surgery.
PLEASE can we all add our own likes/dislikes, UK advice etc etc
Bariatric cookery books are excellent however there are many other options to learn about pre and post op foods. My dietitian is great but I have learnt so much through researching online. There are so many Bariatric Centres all over the world showing what you can eat pre ad post op and as long as you add a dash of common sense, it can work well. For example; if I read from a Bariatric Centre that I could eat tuna on day 3, I would be clicking the X asap!! Centrum advantage chewable Vitamins are lovely and recommended by UK Dietitians for post bariatric surgery. Tesco’s have them on offer at the moment, 3 for 2. They have carbs, but balancing a few carbs for nice tasting Vitamins isn’t going to kill me for the time being. Keep your fridge/cupboard stocked once you know what goes down well for you. Don’t spend too much in advance in case you don’t like it. I spent a lot on liquid Iron without asking around and my god, it was disgusting. I took it twice then threw it away. I could have asked here and go advice but I didn’t. (see below) Use this UK forum to keep in touch with others in the UK to ask for and pass on advice. We aren’t the minority in the world for WLS however we are a small group here. Make friends here, they can be the best support you can ask for! OVER TO YOU !!!

You're very welcome.
In the beginning of my journey I rarely ever had the standard fullness prompts (chest tightness, lump in throat, sneezing, etc) and never any problems with drinking.
I did a bit of research and figured out that my fullness responses were delayed, sometimes by 15+ minutes after eating. I couldn't tell that I overate until It happened. I had to learn to eat much slower and with some attention to my intake to prevent issues.
Also as others have stated above, most people don't feel (traditionally) full during the liquid and puree stages. However, on firm/dense foods )especially protein) you will feel a difference. If you overeat during that stage the discomfort level is aggravating.
Good Luck and Congratulations ♥️

ThankYou, i have been on purée but find i am able to eat quite abit before i get the full feeling. I will in future measure properly and only eat the amount u should be to avoid causing any damage to myself. Thankyou for that explanation that could be it that the nerves are not fully functional.

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Hi!
At only 3 week's post op, it's possible that nerves in your digestive system are not fully functional yet, so you don't have the ability to feel fullness or restriction. That may change in time.
Try to stick to the measurements your Team has advised (e.g. 1/8, 1/4 cup over a 30 minute period) to prevent dramatically increasing your intake ahead of schedule.
Over time your portion sizes may increase, but not usually to pre surgery sizes.
Good Luck ♥️

Two years post-op and my stomach still has restrictions. I can eat anywhere from 1/2 cup to 1 cup but stay about 1/2 cup 97% of the time. It's not how much you CAN eat, it's how much you SHOULD eat. Measure your portions like your dietician prescribed for you.

Three weeks you should still be on soft foods i think.
It's not about how much you "can" eat.... it how much you "should" eat. You need to stick to the measured portions. You will have to adjust how and how much you eat.

Me onthe other hand constantly sneeze whilst eating. I dontknow why but it's so annoying and alittle embarrassing

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I had surgery but i am 3weeks out but noticed my portion sizes have increased and i find little restriction? Anyone else inthe same boat and if so are you able to eat how u used to before? I mean i wish i researched properly before going ahead with this i already feel like i have failed.
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So I had my VSG on the 24th. Since then I am feeling rough. I felt better this morning but after that, I started feeling crappy. My incisions hurt (they sent me home with no pain meds!) and the gas pain is still unreal. I’m up and walking almost every hour that I am awake but I’m quite exhausted a lot. Also my face and chest turned red but was told this is a sleeve blush. It can happen from healing or having a reaction to the Anesthesia. I’m trying to get down all my Water but it’s rough. I’m definitely in the “what did I do phase.” Kind of feel like crying. Sigh. I know I’ll get over this but right now I just feel weak and in pain.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself!

I had surgery 7/23, and I still have occasional moments of lightheadedness when I’m exercising. The first time it happened it was much more like you described. I definitely thought I was seconds away from fainting. I stopped walking immediately and eventually made it to a bench. It took me a while ( hour or two) to feel back to normal. I started carrying lifesavers around with me in case it was my blood sugar dropping, but I actually think the issue was my that my blood pressure meds needed to be adjusted. My PCP has reduced my blood pressure meds, and that has helped. So that bit of near-fainting weirdness wasn’t actually an indication of something terrible.

As I said, I still will occasionally get the lightheaded feeling, but I notice that feeling much sooner. It has never been as bad as it was that first time. I will either slow down (sometimes sit down), and I recover much more quickly than that first time. My PCP asked me to keep track of when it happens, record my blood pressure and in my next follow up in a couple of weeks I’m betting my blood pressure meds will be reduced again.

It sounds like you had a really long day. Maybe you needed food, maybe you needed a rest, or maybe it’s time to check in with your primary care about any meds you take. I know it’s frustrating and irritating and frightening, but you can do this!