The Greater Fool

Your surgery is nowhere near your bowels. Fret not. Good luck, Tek

I have never ordered a child's menu item. Generally, children's items are geared to children's tastes. I didn't even care for them when I was a child. They are not designed for folks on strict healthy nutritional plans. I order what I want that satisfies my plan. I eat the volumes according to my plan. Leaving food on the plate is not the sin most of us seem to think it is. The cards you can get that explain you had surgery and asks for child portions are nonsense, in my opinion. My spouse naturally eats small portions so why should she be not able to present a card also? Or anyone on a diet? Why should *WE* get special treatment while dieters don't? Good luck, Tek

My scale recommendation: The new and improved No-Scale. It's free, takes up no room, does not give inconsistent numbers. Additionally, you will not get frustrated by numbers that are too high or simply refuse to change. I credit my No-scale with my apparent lack of stalls allowing me to focus on following my plan. My No-scale never tempted me to 'change things up' to get a new number on the scale. Get the No-scale today! You will be glad you did! Good luck, Tek

I guess around your stage if I counted calories, which I didn't and haven't but once post-op, 8-900 would not have been a bad guess. As you heal and recover it will be easier to eat. It's will eventually be often up to you to stop before you feel full, which is why you have a meal plan. My plan was and has been 3oz protein, 1oz veggies 3 times a day. Once, about 2 months post-op, I was curious about calories and it was about 1200 calories. Before and since I don't count anything but my previously mentioned meals. I either stop eating when my pouch says to stop or when I hit my previously defined meal size, whichever comes first. Exceeding either is ALWAYS a mistake I've learned through much discomfort to avoid. 18 years later, my limits are pretty much where they were a couple months post-op, and sometimes as quixotic. I stick to my plan about 90% of the time. At this point I can handle most things to some extent. Moderation in all things, including moderation. If you don't push your limits your limits won't change much. At least mine haven't. Good luck, Tek

Walking is pretty much all I did for the first few hundred pounds. By the time I got to 100 pounds overweight my spouse and I were walking miles a day people watching in various places. At about that time I set myself a challenge to see if I could run 3 miles in 30 minutes, which I did in about a month. Shock of shocks I discovered that I enjoyed running. I kept increasing my distance until I eventually ran 5 marathons. Do what you like. Who knows where it will lead you? Good luck, Tek

Enough? Depends on your goals. I NEVER did weight training. Never will. As much as some people seem to love it, I hate it. Everything thing about it. But then again I have enough muscle to do what I want without weight training. Weight training is not necessary to reach and maintain a weight goal. Good luck, Tek

I was a 6'3" guy with a quarter ton to lose when I had surgery and lost 40ish in the first month, then 20ish the next 3. Try not to compare with others as it can create problems for you and your mental attitude. Good luck, Tek

You really need to discuss with your surgeon. On a website like this you'll discover there is nothing someone has not eaten or done on the day after surgery. Good luck, enjoy the rollercoaster. Tek

I don't think I had more than a sip or two of wine for the first year or two. Now that I ponder it I probably don't do much more than that even now. Except of vacation. I drink fruity drinks in the mornings. Less fruity drinks in the afternoon. A couple glasses of Cognac after dinner. I've had RNY and the all the phases of how alcohol affects me move pretty quickly. My next vacation is in September. Really looking forward to it. Corona killed three vacations, so it won't be getting a Christmas card this year.

Let's not conflate not telling with lying. No one here is saying that not telling is lying. People are saying lying is lying. Personally, I would call a purposely misleading half-truth lying also, but that's me. I'm not judging anyone for lying. We all do it. Anyone who says they don't are proving the point. So... Why is not answering so hard and a lie so easy? As somewhat a people pleaser when I was much younger, not responding to a direct question seemed like I was creating a conflict. I felt people would be upset with such a non-response. A lie was easier as there was no conflict and life went on. I forget why I didn't want to do this lie anymore but I got past the discomfort of not responding. Now I'm downright stoic.

I've gone the opposite direction. My wedding ring started falling off and I almost lost it a few times. It couldn't be resized because there were 3 different golds, so I just put it on my key ring. I went through a couple basic replacement rings until each in turn started falling off. On our 35 anniversary last year my spouse gave me a new, wonderful wedding band that fits. She keeps the old one in her jewelry box.

Don't be. No matter how it turns out, it will be to your benefit. If, as you expect, it finds nothing: You are a step closer to your WLS; if, on the other hand, it finds an issue: You are now aware of something you had no clue about, and are now on the way to dealing with it. It's a win either way. Good luck, Tek

When I was researching WLS I read the success and failure stories with equal interest. I contemplated how I would deal with things going right and things going wrong. I had to make sure I was ready for whatever came. Once I made my decision, I didn't revisit anything that led to that decision. Second guessing decisions is crazy making. All my focus was on doing what I needed to do to proceed. Sometimes it seemed like my brain had a mind of it's own and would find myself contemplating my personal nightmare scenarios. At such times distraction became my main tool. At work I would focus more on my work. At home I would play online MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) with my spouse. Very immersive. Better still, distracting. For the record, none of my personal nightmare scenarios came to pass. I got every post-operative effect I wanted and it all worked out pretty close to my best-case scenario. Good luck, Tek

I've known two post-ops that lost their excess weight then became 'life coaches' who shared their experience and success at losing weight to their paying customers: Diet and exercise. No mention of WLS. Shameful. I only shared that I was having WLS with those people that needed to know either for medical history or work contingencies. We didn't even tell our grown children. Post-op my weight loss was rarely a topic of conversation outside the few people that knew of it. As we visited or were visited by family we let them in on the news. Anyone that could not be supportive were invited to share their insights with anyone but us. Of course, that last bit is pretty much a standing rule. If an acquaintance asked about my weight loss I had two sets of answers: 1. If it was someone with a weight issue or other compelling story and I was feeling chatty I told the whole story; 2. Otherwise I just said I would not be discussing personal topics today, but thanks for asking. I think lying outright is not a good feeling nor a good look, especially when the truth is inevitably revealed. I've learned as I've gotten older to keep more and more of my own counsel. No need to lie. No need to even talk. Good luck, Tek

Failure is a great teacher.

It's your body. Good luck, Tek

I agree with @ShoppGirl on play at home first. For wine of your taste preferences, try a wine site. WLS has little preference on flavor.

I think it comes down to statistics. I haven't researched statistics in the last 15 years, but it used to be 'weight at surgery' vs 'low weight post-op' vs 'ending weight' (at a specific point, like 2, 3 or 5 years post-op. So, it's really easy to say "hey, if you have a lower weight at surgery, then all the following numbers, on average, are lower. Thus, I think it ultimately is playing games with statistics. But, regardless, statistics are great for evaluating odds, but sucky on what will happen with the individual. Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Different surgeons have different philosophies. I did no liquid diet at all, ever. Doc just said don't eat after 6:00pm the night before. My puree diet started day 1 post op.

OK... "Horrific bleeding"? If this is not something that happens periodically then... Since you say it's never happened before, and you just had surgery, at the least I would definitely call your medical team. Depending on how horrific, maybe a trip to the ER. Remember, your body is under tremendous stress from the surgery and the healing. Another stress is that you are eating extremely few calories. Another stress is running 2 miles. Get help please. Heal first. Good luck Tek

First, there are people that have regretted having surgery. Generally they aren't on sites like this. Second, all those bad things that you've read about in the past are still out there. Put them in perspective right next to all the negative effects of not doing anything. Choose wisely. Third, saying goodbye to your favorite foods forever largely depends on your surgery type. Even then, none of the foods you mention are goodbye forever foods in reality. In the last month I've eaten McD's. Red meat is in my normal rotation, you can pry my hamburger out of my greasy, dead hands. I've had Peanut butter cups, though not much and not often as I've had RNY and I dump on sugar. In point of fact there is no food or drink that I cannot eat if I choose. I generally stick to my plan, so the worse the food/drink is health-wise the less often I eat/drink a little of it. All things in moderation, including moderation. Your Doctors work for you. If your Doc is not doing what you need, then you need a new Doc. You can succeed at this with the proper mind set. It is a big change for most of us. For the better, generally. Good luck, Tek

I was never aware of a stall. I was too large to fit on a home scale, or most scales anywhere, so for the first 6-8 months I wasn't able to weigh anywhere but my surgeon's office at monthly follow-ups. As a result of the experience once I was able to weigh at home I still chose not to, sticking with only weighing at the Doctor's office. So, I never actually experienced a stall even though there must have been some in there somewhere. Tek

My spouse is a burger fiend so I end up making them often. On a good day I can sometimes get to 1/2 a burger down. More often it's about 1/4. I've learned not to push it. The dogs (chihuahuas) eat more than I do.

I'm 18 years post-op. We each have our challenges and you seem to working yours. Keep working. Most of the core issues I had pre-op I still have. The issues with being super morbidly obese are no longer among them, which makes a lot of other things smoother. Good luck Tek

I can fit in a bathtub. With my spouse. I can roll over in bed without having to do it in stages. I can fit into a theater seat, airline seat, any seat. Horseback riding on vacation with my spouse. Kayaking on vacation. Riding bike to work. Five marathons. Running across the Golden Gate Bridge.