marys

thanks molly - i'll be thinking of you tomorrow -let's both try to get back on track. I'm shocked at what i got in me these past two days and will eat healthy tomorrow. good luck to you too and i hope you feel better about whatever you were depressed about.

Well i made it almost two years without ever eating the junk some folks talk about going down easy - maybe have had a few Cookies, a few small bags of chips but have really followed those old bandster rules pretty much to the letter -
yesterday had a meltdown/depression (too long to go into here) coupled with horrible pms (i started the day with a blob of ketchup with salt in it - soooo sad) and just a feeling of giving up - why the hell am i doing everything right and basically the only banded person in the world still fat and not losing -suffice it to say at an all time low
well i learned how to binge with the band and i wont share cuz i'm sure you can imagine - had more then my fill all day of sweets and salt and fell right back into my old pattern of eating to soothe myself.
i hope i can stop - i feel like i crossed some line of just giving up. i have been there before but always pull myself back up out of this band despair but it was always without that reminder of how much food helps me.
it also felt good to eat and eat - you see what i mean??? i feel broken and unfixable right now.