I understand. I had my band done in October of 2008. I lost some weight, gained it all back, lost again, gained again plus even more weight, and now I'm trying my hardest to lose...again. Sigh. Right now I'm at the exact same weight I was when I got the band in the first place (and I've recently lost 8 lbs).
I have only had 4.something ccs in my 10 cc band. I have had trouble going tighter than that, but have come to realize now that I haven't been doing the right thing by my band. Being able to take huge bites of english muffin isn't right. I'm supposed to be taking small bites and possibly not even be able eat bread. And, tonight I was thinking that I would like to have pizza for dinner. I've been thinking about pizza for three weeks. So, I was working out how much I could have and how many points it would be (just joined weight watchers) and I decided I could have two slices of thin crust veggie. And I was thinking, that isn't going to be enough food. I'm going to need a salad too. Then I was like, (parden the profanity) "Jesus! I shouldn't be able to eat a salad and two slices of pizza at all, much less in 20 minutes for dinner!" (I decided to go with a salad and a few baked coconut shrimp instead). And, I decided that after a year of hiding from my surgeon, it is time to go in for a fill. I'm asking myself, what was the point of getting the band in the first place if I'm not going to use it? I didn't pay $16,000 out of pocket for this surgery to not use the tool I've been given. And, FYI, I have really been on a roller coaster with my band. At first I was expecting magic and efforless weight loss. Then, when I realized it wasn't just going to be easy peasy with no effort from me, I got really pissed (again, sorry about the language) and hated the band for a few years. Fairly recently I decided I wanted the darned thing removed and to see if my insurance would pay for bypass or the sleeve. And, thanks to this website and some of the wonderful people here in the forums, have very recently decided that I can't just hate the band when I haven't really given it a chance. I mean, I am pretty non-compliant with the band.
So, I have joined weight watchers and am trying to do a daily 30-60 minute walk out in the desert (soft sand). I made an appointment for a fill today. My appointment is on the 27th. When I called the office, I was disappointed to learn that my long-time nurse I've been seeing doesn't work there anymore! :-( So, I now need to start over with someone new. I am a little disappointed, but maybe this is exactly what I need. A fresh beginning for me and with a fresh person to manage my care (same surgeon's office, just a new PA). I'm going to take a leap and get a moderate fill. I'm going to say I don't want a tiny one, but not a big one either. I want something that I will notice, but won't make me hate life i.e. slime and throw up all the time.
