BadgerMom

My partner is taking the Sprutein Protein powder from the local health food center. There are two sugar-free varieties - vanilla and chocolate. She adds Splenda to hers. She can't tolerate regular whey-based protein powders; they give her migraines. She is mixing them with Silk soymilk and is thinning them a bit more than the package calls for, but she's adding in the calories from the extra soymilk into her daily calorie count. I've tasted them, and they're quite drinkable. BadgerMom

Hi, Paganndamaged, My partner likes the Spirutein soy-based shakes. You can find them at most health food stores. There are only two completely sugar-free flavors - vanilla and chocolate - and she adds Splenda to taste. She also is allowing herself the Cappucino flavor. It does have sugar but only about 20 calories more than the unsweetened ones. She can't do the regular whey-based shakes as they give her a migraine. She is doubling the amount of soymilk to Protein powder ratio because it is just too gooey otherwise. I've tried them, and they're quite drinkable. Just make sure you account for the additional calories included by the extra soymilk (she has to aim for 800 calories a day). BadgerMom P.S. I'd be curious to know more about your user name. You're welcome to e-mail me off list if you like. Merry meet!

Size 2??? Heaven forbid! I'm 5'2" and a size 4, and that's quite dinky enough, let me tell you. I've always been thin, though. Strangely enough, I have as much trouble finding clothes that fit me right as my soon-to-be-banded partner does (I have to wear kids' shoes sometimes since I can't get women's shoes in my size 5 1/2). The smaller (or larger) you get, the less your selection. Size 2 is not what you're aiming for - healthy is. If that means you are supposed to be a size 2, then you'll get there (or not), but no matter what you see on TV, don't believe that having hipbones that stick out of your body like carving knives is the standard of beauty. A truly healthy body is a beautiful body. Badger Mom

Regarding what to do in the liquid phase: Well, my partner is in day 2 now of her liquid diet, and here's what we're doing today: She had a migraine yesterday, I think because she had both of her Protein shakes early in the day and then didn't have anything with any real protein by dinner time, so we switched it today to Protein shake in morning and evening with Soup for lunch, and she's doing better. The good thing for you about being a nanny is that you probably have access to a fridge and an electrical outlet. We've got one of those "mini-blenders" to make up the shakes which are quite portable. Of course, everybody's doctor seems to do it differently, but there are loads of people on the list who have suggestions. My partner and I are taking it one day at a time, making adjustments as needed. If your husband is a "to die for" cook, maybe he will enjoy the challenge of helping you through the process. I love to cook, but I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to help in the pre-op diet and the first week of Clear liquids, but come "mushy time," I've got all sorts of ideas for delicious and low-fat/low-calorie things for her to enjoy that will actually be nice if blended. I'm going to be making a number of Middle-Eastern dishes like foul and megadara which are bean/lentil based, and other ethnic dishes which are soft but tasty.

My gosh, Strikeuptheband (love the name), I can't even imagine driving myself home from surgery, and for that length of time! I had foot surgery a little over a year ago, and I was a blithering idiot when I got out of recovery and all the way home. It's a good thing you arrived home safely. I guess I'm lucky. I've been there for my partner when she's had surgery, and she's been there for me. For the band surgery, we've arranged with friends to make sure the dog gets let out on the evening of surgery day so I can stay as late as possible and then come back the next morning (I'm still thinking I'd prefer to get a dog-friendly hotel room near the hospital). I don't care if she is going to sleep most of the day. She doesn't seem to think I need to be there, but I do. I'm certainly no expert here, but I'm learning that this surgery (like all bariatric surgeries, I'll bet) really brings out the best and the worst in family members in a way that I haven't seen with other medical procedures. Maybe it's because the end result, weight loss, will change the status quo for everyone around the bandster in a way that, say, knee surgery won't. Your SO might have dropped a few pounds by eating healthy and watching his portions, but can he keep it off? As I understand it, that's one of the primary criteria for getting the band in the first place - trying and failing other weight loss programs, like dieting - which you have obviously tried or you wouldn't have been approved to get the band. I had an old friend once say to me, "Talk is cheap. Watch the feet." 'Nuff said. BadgerMom

My partner is being banded on the 23rd. We've been through all kinds of efforts to lose weight (and I say we because I've supported, coached, exercised, eaten (or not), changed my diet, and nagged right along with her. We went to a seminar on Optifast many years ago. It didn't take me long to figure out that the program was essentially a starvation diet, with all of its side effects, in which the person hopes their eating behavior changes by the end. Um... no. And then there were the two women I knew who had gastric bypass with life-threatening complications. Er... no again. On the other hand, LapBand seems to be a safe and sane solution to us. As for what to tell your children, in time you might want to tell them about the surgery. Personally, I don't think that doing so will turn them into instant anorexics. This is about your health, not beauty. If it was cosmetic, you'd be paying for it on your own. Trust me, if Medicare is willing to pay for it, it's health-related - they don't pay for squat unless it's medically necessary. Please encourage your husband to go to a seminar or take a look at this website or others. My partner and I both did a lot of research before she made the final decision to go ahead. Understanding the procedure (particularly that it is removable, which is not the case with gastric bypass) may help to alleviate many of his fears. I know that this aspect was the clincher for me, since I was worried about what might happen if my partner was ill/in an accident/injured and the band was in place. When I found that out, I was all for it. The reality is that you're gonna have to tell him some time. Going in for surgery isn't exactly like stepping out for a quart of milk. It's sort of obvious. Hang in there!

Ssflbelle wrote: >I am no longer married because my Significant Other (who loves fat women) couldn't handle my losing weight< Gosh, that must have been painful. I know that everyone has their preferences for who they are attracted to, but you are still you even if the package size changes. I'm sorry your SO didn't feel comfortable enough with your weight loss to try to work it out. I work as a public benefits/senior law paralegal, and I've never encountered a case regarding LapBand or bariatric surgery. I didn't know that Medicare would cover bariatric surgery, but it sure does: (see http://www.amaassn.org/amednews/2006/03/13/gvsb0313.htm ) It looks like they even have less stringent criteria than my partner's private insurance, which is great. I can tell you that in order to get Medicare to approve a procedure, you're going to need to document every little thing, so if your doctor doesn't like taking notes, nag her/him to put it all down, every little weight-related symptom you have. If Medicare denies the request, I would appeal the decision if you think you meet the criteria. Get the o.k. from Medicare in writing before you go into surgery in order to avoid having to appeal a denial after surgery has been performed (barn door open, horse long gone, not fun). It can take time to get these approvals - Medicare is a monster-sized agency - so be prepared to wait a bit. If you think you can't do it alone, and if you are a disabled person or over 60, you may want to contact your local Legal Services agency to see if you can get an advocate to help you with any appeal. Best of luck to you! BadgerMom

Great timing, spouses and SOs! I've already created a social group for us, and all I need is one more member to then create the forum. I'm working with Alex to do that. As soon as I know how/where to do this, I'll post to this thread ASAP so we can get chattin'. We soooo need this! Badger Mom

Thanks for the help on the migraine. She's better this morning. She was diagnosed with chronic migraines years ago, though they've gotten much, much better as she's gotten older. We used to take trips to the ER several times a year when she was in her 30's. It was awful. Last night she had all of her classic symptoms she's always had - light sensitivity, nausea, yucky burps, etc. Is Isopure soy-based? She tried them when she was experimenting with the shakes to find out which ones she liked, and she can't use the whey ones. They give her monster migraines (she is allergic to certain kind of animal products). What about Jello? BadgerMom

My partner is on day one of her 10-day pre-op liquid diet and has come down with a bad migraine. She can't take any pain relievers according to the doctor. She does have a history of migraines. Her goal for calorie intake is 800 calories a day. I don't know if it's the stress, the lack of calories, the lack of sugar, PMS, or what, and it's only day 1, but she seems to think she may need more Protein during the day. She's drinking 2 Protein shakes (soy-based) which leaves her only about 240 calories for "dinner." Does anybody have any suggestions? Should we change the timing of the shakes? Is there some other way to get the protein without the calories? It seems weird that this should be happening so soon, especially since she doesn't get a migraine if she has a cold, and she doesn't eat much then. Help! BadgerMom

My partner is being banded on the 23rd, and she's a teacher, too. I know she was hoping that she could be banded earlier this month, before school let out yesterday, but I'm glad she didn't. It's just too hard, all those end of the year treats and lunches. I have a sense that a lot of bandsters are also the cooks in the house, yes? Maybe your spouse/SO can take over that chore during the liquid diet phase to help you stick to your diet. What a wonderful gift that would be. I've already told my partner that if she wants me to throw out or give away any foods in the fridge or pantry because she might want them, or if she wants me to eat elsewhere so she doesn't have to smell or see it, all she has to do is ask. I know it's hard, and I don't want her to be miserable. Maybe I can eat things she doesn't really care for but I like, like salads, that don't smell too savory. I'm going to see what happens if I eat my main meal during lunch time (at least on the weekdays) to avoid lots of cooking at night during this pre-op phase. It's only a few days. BadgerMom

Thanks, everyone, for being patient as I create the Family and Friends Forum. I'm afraid I have to plead ignorance on how to do something like this (this seems like such a huge website), so I am in touch with Alex who is helping out and has been terrific. I have one member in the forum already (me), and I need a second one to create the forum, so if any of you are interested or have a family member/SO/friend who is interested, have them post so we can get the forum up and running. After a glorious dinner of sushi last night, my partner has started her liquid diet this morning. She feels really ready, having experimented with all kinds of Protein shakes for the last three weeks or so. She can't drink the milk-based ones, but she likes the Spirutein shakes that are non-GMO soy based. I think they're quite drinkable as well, though I wouldn't want to live on them. We had a bit of a donnybrook for a couple of days earlier this week. My partner has been scheduled for surgery on June 23 for a little over a month now, having been told by the doctor that the surgery was approved. This Tuesday, though, I got a call from the clinic saying that the surgery was not approved yet after all, and we were going to have to wait for a final decision from her employer, rather than her insurance. My partner was really good about it, but I just about hit the ceiling. Being a legal advocate as my profession, I got on the phone and contacted everybody connected with the process to find out what the heck had happened. It seems that while the insurance company requires either a BMI of 40+ alone or a high BMI plus two co-morbidities, the employer requires two co-morbidities no matter what the BMI is. In other words, their standard for approval is more strict than their own insurance requires. The evaluation team for the insurance had approved the procedure, but the employer hadn't done so. I have a sneaking suspicion that they have realized how many of their employees are likely to decide to have LapBand, and they may be trying to stem the tide by requiring more criteria than even their own insurance provider requires so they can avoid paying out benefits. We hadn't been told this, and there was nothing written down that we could get from anyone to refer to. So it was a matter of having the clinic send medical records off to the employer's insurance worker to get the final approval. Anyhow, the two co-morbidities, which she had, didn't have to be life-threatening, thank heavens, and we got the final approval, but a word to the wise: if your employer will be paying for the procedure under your insurance, make sure that you know exactly what the criteria are since they may be different from the general requirements of the insurance provider, and make certain that the doctor you are seeing documents every little problem that you/your bandster has related to weight, whether physical or psychological since it can make the difference between approval or denial of the procedure. One day down, nine to go until B-Day! BadgerMom

Hang in there, Wicked Me Sure, the band is going to affect your family, and not just the week of surgery. There are going to be follow up visits to the doctor, and there will be things you may not be able to eat, but being healthy is something that I would hope any family member would be able to support. If you get banded, you're going to change, and sometimes that's just scary for our significant others. I'm trying to figure out who to contact here to create a Friends and Family forum so that people like your husband can ask questions about how their lives will be affected and how to support you in a way that strengthens your relationship. If anybody knows who I need to contact to request to create the Family and Friends forum, would you please post? Best of luck! BadgerMom

Thanks for the support Chris. I am not in need of a band (BMI 19.5 on a good day), which is why I wanted to find out from bandsters whether they thought a family and friends forum would be helpful or whether they would prefer we just butt the heck out : ) and how to support my partner when I don't have the experiences she has had. I did see that someone is asking today whether banding will affect the rest of the family. Looks to me like a Family and Friends (banded or otherwise) group is definitely needed.

Yes, indeed, There For Her, my partner is motivated. Thank you so much for the information. She's been experimenting with various types of Protein drinks for almost three weeks to find out which kinds she likes (she can't do the regular animal protein ones because they make her sick for some reason, but she likes the Spirutein drinks which are soy-based), and has been practicing the chew, chew, chew bit. Her veggies got cold the other night before she got to them - she says she figures she's going to have to get used to that. I guess that's what microwaves were made for. And her surgery isn't scheduled until June 23rd, so she's gearing up for it. She's not always much of a reader, so we are both doing research, but she's dong the bulk of it. We had looked at RNY, bypass, and the Optifast diets at various points over the years, and the medical risks or chances of long-term success (with Optifast) just didn't seem worth it, but this time we talked about it, and we both came to the conclusion that it's either the band, which is so much safter, or more weight gain, and she didn't want the second option. She calls the band "Weight Watchers with a washer." She also has three people at her work who have been banded, so she has an instant support group, which is great. So, I have three questions: How can we request to make this an official forum so we don't have to go digging in the Introductions posts to find each other and other people can find us? Since I'm a total newbie, I have no idea how to do this. Has anybody tried using the sugar-free Torani syrups that are used to flavor coffee and Italian sodas as a way to add flavor to their Protein shakes? I was going to pick up some for her if they sounded good. Here's the hard one: We live in a state where being seriously overweight is the norm, not the exception (Wisconsin - it's the cheese), and most of our friends are either obese or morbidly obese. I have already seen two of them offer only lukewarm support to her when she told them she was having the surgery, and then I heard one of them subtly try to sabotage her right away ("You will get treats, won't you? Don't let them tell you that you can't have treats."). I was so upset, I almost cried then and there. :cursing: I've heard that this can happen - the person who is losing weight gets subtly pressured to "get back in line" with their "friends" who are still overweight - and I've watched it happen to her when she's lost weight before. The minute it became obvious that she was losing weight, people suddenly started shoving sweets at her like she had to be starving without them. My partner has decided not to tell anybody else about the band right now, but it's going to become obvious at some point. Does anyone have any other ideas on how to deal with this, especially as her partner?