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twiggysmiff
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Blog Entries posted by twiggysmiff
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I started out on this journey long before I ever knew I was on it. If I really think about it, I can remember even as young as 9 years old and being entered into a pre-teen beauty pageant. I remember that I had begun to gain weight even then because the dress I had for the formal wear portion of the contest almost didn't fit by the time pageant date rolled around. I remember my mom trying to zip it up in the back and saying something along the lines of "you're gonna have to start watching what you eat!" Moving along, during my teen years, I started gaining weight slowly but surely. I remember wearing a size 14 when I got my first job in a fast food restaurant at the age of 16. When I graduated high school, I was 170 pounds. College came and more weight came on. By the time I graduated, I was up to about 200. My wedding dress when I was 25 was a size 18 and was so tight I could barely breathe. When I got pregnant, I was 258 pounds. In April of 2008, my top weight was 294 and I was wearing a 28/30 size. What the hell happened over the years? Well, mom stocking the fridge with pizza rolls and mini cheese burgers for my after school snacks, working in fast food and eating it all the time, living on pizza in college because the dining area was horrible, developing PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), going through fertility treatments, anti depressant meds, and then the yo yo dieting throughout all of it. I managed to trick myself into thinking I was fine with the way I was and I was happy being heavy, as long as I was healthy! (Yea right) Well, I was in for a rude awakening when I started having problems. My sleep was all messed up and I was so tired I couldn't function so I had a sleep study done. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and put on a CPAP machine. After sleeping with it a few nights, I had more problems with sleep because I was afraid I was going to die in my sleep. I realized that this was just 2 steps away from being a respirator and I'd had enough. Then, I started having a weird side effect. When I slept with the CPAP machine, I began to swell up and my blood pressure shot up to 148/98. The doctor's had no explanation for this, but it was more dangerous to have my BP up that high than it was for the sleep apnea, so now I'm back to no sleeping. It was then that I decided I had to do something. I had toyed with the idea of weight loss surgery, but thought it represented cheating and the lazy way out. I was also scared about my family's reaction to it. I talked with my doctor and he suggested I look into lap band and we began a weight loss program. I did research, attended the seminar and realized it wasn't what I thought it was. I now know this is the tool for me and now my family is on board. I just got my appointment for my first round of preliminary tests. I need to do the pulmonary function test, stress test, echo test, and blood work in September. I'm excited and nervous and scared and impatient all at once. I feel like I'm about to go on a huge roller coaster ride. I just hope that everything goes smoothly....here we go!!:frown: