Pattman

I've asked her about counseling (both seperately and/or together) and she has told me 'that she's looking in to it' - that is as far as things go. She has already accused me of cheating on her, and I am at the point where I really don't even care anymore. I realize these are just excuses we are both using, but it is also a big part of the truth: 1. My job takes a lot out of me: a. for her she works 5am to 3pm 5 to 6 days a week. b. I work til 6 or 8 most days c. my days off are spread apart, and during the week (tues and Thur) she has weekends off But like I already said, this is the tip of the excuses. These days I just go to work, do stuff around the house as best I can, and when she "feels like not being alone in bed" she crawls over to come see me. That's pretty much the extent of things. I've gotten tired of getting pushed away, even by her subconscious) so don't bother her before or after she's gone to sleep. It not fun, but does it really matter anymore?

WOOOT - WOOOOT !!!!! May I be the first to say, congrats!! Not an easy achievemnet, but hang in there! You can do it!

<~~~ Deffinitely a ‘perv’, also digitally dixlexic and have been since I was 81 ……. I mean 18

Is there a sex life after banding?? Hmmm, judging by this house, not much of one :-(

I haven't cheated on my wife either. Can't say that I haven't wanted to at times {mostly because of what our relationship has changed to, not becuase I have anyone of interest outside our marriage. <honestly don't think I could find anyone that WOULD have an interest in me besides her these days, even with all the lost weight>. I couldn't agree with you more there. I don't think my wife understands what she means to me. On the reverse side of the coin I found out over a year ago how much I don't mean to her {straight from her own mouth, can't ask for anything more then that, now can you?}. I feel like there is a lot she is keeping from me, and she thinks the same about me. I feel like there is no trust left in the relationship, if this can even be called a relationship anymore. I still don't understand why I am with someone who "no longer has an emotional attachment to me". Except, it would be far too expensive and messy a divorce at this point, also (like already mentioned) I have no interrest in anyone else, and have no one that is interested in me (that I am aware of; and not that it would change my mind if there were}. Still trying to give her time to determine "where we stand" So in answer to your original question, "Is there a relationship that has survived lapband?" I guess you could put me down for one who feels the answer is no. I've lost 60 lbs, and a person whom I once loved, that no longer loves me, and that I find it hard to sleep in the same bed with someone who has no feelings for me. I still love her, but what good does it do my heart to have a 'one sided' love affair?:faint: Sorry soo long winded

Felt compelled to add a male voice in here (thought you ladies might get a laugh from this, this morning) old pair of "fruit of the loom's" (48's and now down to a 38). They don't fall down, but mighty cumfy. Of course, now I have to go run and get my shower, and get ready for work - "The last uniform you'll ever wear" - White Shirt, Black Tie, Black pants, Black Shoes, White Socks, and I lost my GS Tie Tack :-( Will your PC be the next one I fix?????? lmao

Nope haven't named my band (or any other body parts for that matter) ... but cars?? Oh yeah we could talk about that --- but that would be thread hi-jacking, and I won't do it!

Unfortunately, I do drink with "most" of my meals. I don't drink nearly as much as I used to before banding, nor do I chug it down but I can't seem to get away from it. Helps me to clear my throat, but I do make sure I "balance" it with the food I am eating. I only drink enough to keep my throat "clear" and can't remember the last time I had a carbonated beverage {and don't even miss beer - haven't been a big beer drinker since I got out of the service anyway}.

That's happened to me a few times, either at restuarants (with concerened waitress'es and cook's) or going to a friends for dinner. Funniest was when I was at a friends house working on their PC (for several hours) and the ladies two daughters and one of their boyfriends all came over for dinner. I was "guilted" in to joining them. I put a small portion of spaghetti and sauce on my plate and heard "Seriously, we have a ton of food here. Don't be shy". When I told them it had nothing to do with how much I would've liked to have eaten (volume wise especially how good it was); as much as how much I knew I could eat; and why - it floored them all. The one daughter's boyfriend (as I got up from the table) jokingly asked if he could have my "expected seconds, or for that matter my expected firsts". lmao

Being a Double Agent for the Geek Squad, and being on the road ALL day EVERY day; I often have 3 choices 1) Don't have lunch (happens a lot, but I'm not that upset, I have a good Breakfast, and a good dinner and it's helping make up for my lack of walking - lol, I know .... it's still not a good plan. 2) Stop for lunch. Usually don't have a lot of time to go somewhere nice, and not being able to eat much I've already made the mistake of Ruby Tuesday's salad bar and an Iced Tea for $12 (with tip) and only eating one plate! So it's usually Wendy's for a Jr Bacon Cheeseburger plain {I only eat the bacon cheese and hamburger, no buns for me); or small chilli; or 5 piece chicken nuggets (which'll take me about 2 hours to eat!! 3)Bring stuff along ... I usually carry beef Jerky, cheese crackers, Water, rice cakes, peanut tubes (or other nuts) or any combination of all of the above. One of these days I should post a picture of a "Bandster's/Geek Squad average potential food supply rations lmao. As well as what I actually go through some days. So have you seen me on the road? Eating my slim jim, with my laptop in the passenger seat? and expired temp tags????

I have come to think of my stomach like a baloon. No it has a rubberband about a third of the way up to create a small pouch. If I pour enough liquid in it can stretch out of proportion. And yes, you can get the PB's from too much liquid, just like anything else (OMG) I remember attempting a milkshake (it was so good) now if I am desperate for one, I split it with someone! Been over a month since my last one, might be due soon, lmao.

Also, if no one ever mentioned it, watch for the "runny nose". A sure sign that maybe you better push back from the table. I'd of never believed it until I had gotten banded, but know I look for that sign first, or if I am begining to get a stuffy head it's time for me to quit (at least for me).

OMG! This post has been such fun to read this morning .... only wish I had something to add to it ... oh, wait I have just done so (evil grin)

So sorry to hear of your daughter's illness, best wishes to all of you during this time. Give eachother pleny of hugs, you'll look on this later and tease her how she had you "sooo scared"! Hugs, kisses and best wishes to all of you!!

Puddinpie, When I got my band the only ones who knew of it were my wife, stepdaughter and my mom. Next thing I knew, my sisters knew of it, but my mom did not spread it further then that. I was upset with my mom (though I never told her) but understood why when I had talked with my closest sister. I have probably said more to people about it, then my entire family has. It's not going to be easy to forgive your dad, and it will take a while ... but being a guy, I'd like to think he might be like me and (as previously stated) be proud of the courage and risk you have and are taking to control your weight, and take steps for yourself to be "walking the earth" longer then you might've without doing this. My mom is proud of both me and my wife for doing this. She's even been trying to talk my oldest sister in to looking in to it! Try sitting down with him, after you have calmed down and ARE able to discuss it with him (even if not ready to forgive him yet), talk with him honestly about it. Ask him to listen to all you have to say before hearing him out. If he doesn't get all chocked up, and feel real bad - i'd be surprised. (and if he isn't, let me know and we'll T.P. his house together! LMAO)

I had a similar situation 4 days after post op. Surgery was on a Wed (7/28/04) and Thurs they had me do the swallow test. I no sooner get back to my room, and another nurse comes to get me to "go get my swallow test done". "but wait, I was just there!" It appears that the x-ray tech was used to seeing Gastric bypass swallows, not banding and did not take the correct x-rays, and did not look for the right stuff, so off I go .... Fast foward to that Sat, and I am on the toilet all bent over in pain, whishing I had never gotten this done (the liquid felt like it had turned in to concrete!). Since then, no problemns and smooth sailing!! :hungry: Damn I'd like an order of "Mama's pancake Breakfast with the Maine blueberries from Cracker Barrel - only problem is, 3 bites in and I'd be done, 4 bites and I'd be dying!!:faint:

Was out with my Great Aunt the other day (she's 81, and could still kick my @$$ going through the grocery store). I had taken her the Dr.'s and she treated me to lunch (Chinese). I ordered General Tsoa's {mild} as I figured I'd have about 2 to 3 pieces (share the rest with the wife later) and a spoonful of fried rice ..... Have come to the conclusion that rice and I are no longer friends, even in small quantaties!!!!! Suffice it to say it was not a good plan, and was still feeling lousy the rest of the afternoon and in to the evening that I had to spend with my aunt in the emergency room (not for me - for her, her Dr. was concerned she might've been "pre stroke" due to double vision and all). Good thing is the chinese ended up in the trash that night, cause we had gone to the hospital and it never made it to a fridge!! lmao

I was banded July 28, 04. Both my old job (at time of banding) and my new job (Geek Squad rocks! Love being a Double Agent) are primarily sedentary jobs, and I don't get a lot of time for excersize, and am (basicly) somewhat lazy. I have only lost 48 lbs since being banded, but I am only 21 pounds from 'my' goal and 46 lbs from my Dr's goal. Also at the time I had another surgery done as well {not the same area) (killed two birds with one stone), so my recuperation was a little more than what I would expect with just the one surgery. So your question was, would I do it again? NO QUESTION! An imfatic yes from me .... but that's just my 2 cents, and my occurences..... Best of luck, and think "long term" - not just the surgery date and immediate results. I did it to make sure I could be around for my wife, daughte and step daughter for a longer period of time. {now if I could just quit smoking, but on the upside I only smoke 2 to 5 cigs a day, so THAT at least is not tooo bad {my last vise I have left}.

I say we adopt a set disclaimer in the subject {like "Adult topic"} would make it easier to do a search for those topics, if that's what you like to read {wink} not me, I'm naughty ... err, I mean nice ... yeah, yeah - that's it ... nice ... ROFLMAO -

Remeber that each person is dirrent and will experienmce different things; also that even if it were all the same, you might consider something on a different pain level as I would .... all that being said ... MY experiences with the band were/are: I was admited on Wed had the surgery that morning and was released Thurs afternoon (I would have been released around 2 had the nurses taken me off the pump pain meds and started giving me oral meds sooner. I have never felt any of my fills, my Dr. {as I would hope/imagine is the general practice with others} gives a local first - burns for a sec, no worse then getting any other kind of shot. Hope this helps quell some of your fears (and probable insomnia ... lmao). I am sure {and hope} you will hear from others as well.

Don't know about the splenda thing, but I do know about Altoids and the thin breath strips you can put on your tongue (or other locations)

aaamom .... If you are still having troubles with your pic, let me know and I will try to help you as best I can (almost 16 yrs doing PC work, and currently with the Geek Squad {hence the Avatar} .... he-he)

Guess I should've started here first <he-he> 41, 5' 10" banded 7/28/04 weighing in at 268 (was 275 at 1st consult). Since then I am down to 221 (as of 2/16/06) - not as far along as I would've hoped to have been at this point, but only 21 lbs from 'my' goal; my Dr.'s (Iragau / Wynn) would like to see me at 175 (haven't been that since boot camp 6/84). I'll take 200 even, anything more than that would be sweet though!! Banded throug CHRIAS in Wilmington, DE. Since banding I have had mostly sedentary jobs (IT tech help desk) but now am "on the road" for the Geek Squad, so get little time (mostly none) for lunch, so that's helped me A LOT recently. Thanks for letting me "vent" ....

DA (Double Agent) with the Geek Squad (www.geeksquad.com , not advertising - but for those who don't know what it is I do, this might give you an idea). Yes I drive around in one of those Geek Mobiles (Geek Squad VW bugs -- have you seen me around the DE, NJ, PA area? Have I come and done work for you???? lmao). Love this new job, been doing PC work for almost 16 years, and can't get enough of it!!!! Of course, having been an ex-sonarman onboard submarines (was attached to 3 differnt ones during my career) they tell me my insanity comes from the lack of sunshine and 'real' oxygen - truth be told, I was born nutty!!

My wife got her's done 6 months before me. We told my mom about it 4 months in to hers and two months before mine (or something like that). My mom wa like all happy for my wife, and scared to death for me ... My grand father celebrated his 90th birthday last June and my one sister didn't even recognize me, then my aunt "introduced me" to my sister, and she was FLOORED!