BigSue

What an incredibly compassionate and helpful reply! @mlbninja, I’m glad you found this forum and reached out for help! I hope you will click around this site and keep posting because we WLS patients have a unique set of experiences and challenges, and sometimes it just helps to know you’re not alone in what you’re going through.

If you are concerned about loose skin, don't get the surgery. If the possibility of loose skin outweighs the health problems you want to resolve or prevent by getting weight loss surgery, you are not ready to get surgery.

I am obsessed with Built Bats. They are lower in calories than most other protein bars (130 to 180 depending on flavor) and DELICIOUS. They have three types: bars (which have a caramel-like texture), puffs (marshmallow filling), and granola (like caramel with granola mixed in; different from traditional granola bars), with several flavors of each, and an ever-changing selection of limited release flavors. It’s a matter or personal preference, but granola bars are my favorites, followed by regular bars, and the puffs taste good but are not as filling. Others I like include Fit Crunch, Verb, and Fulfil. I have seen Walmart and Trader Joe’s selling singles of various brands of protein bars, which is nice if you want to try one before you buy a whole box.

The pre-op diet is one of the most difficult parts of the WLS process. It can vary greatly from one surgeon to the next, and even between patients for the same surgeon (for example, I've read that some surgeons require a more strict pre-op diet for patients with a higher BMI and/or who carry more weight in the abdomen), but remember that it is for the safety of your surgery, to shrink your liver so your surgeon has good access to your stomach. You are trusting your surgeon to cut you open and rearrange your digestive system, so it's important for you to do your part in getting your body ready for surgery. As for tips and tricks, it depends on what's allowed on your pre-op diet, but sugar-free Jello and sugar-free popsicles are helpful if they're allowed (also for the post-op diet). A strategy I used during my pre-op diet was to get a lot of samples of different brands and flavors of protein shakes, so I had a variety and it helped me to figure out what I liked in preparation for using post-op (but be aware that many people report a change in taste after surgery, and after stocking up on protein shakes they liked before surgery, they realize they can't stand the same shakes after surgery). Good luck!

There is a lot of variation in amount of weight loss for all types of weight loss surgeries. The outcomes are not that different between sleeve and bypass, but it is true that on average, bypass patients lose more than sleeve patients. But again, that is an average and doesn’t mean that an individual patient will be better off with bypass than with sleeve. There are pros and cons to both surgeries, and your surgeon may have had specific reasons for recommending sleeve to you. This would have been a good thing to ask before you went through with the surgery. I guess the good news is that you can get a revision to bypass if necessary, but that is a long way off. If you follow your clinic’s instructions (which is the most important factor in your weight loss), you will achieve significant weight loss with the sleeve.

It's very normal to have feelings of regret early on. The first few weeks after surgery are the hardest because you're still recovering from major surgery, adjusting to your new stomach, very limited in what you can eat, and you haven't seen the benefits of the weight loss yet. For most people, things just get better from there. You will soon get to start reintroducing "normal" food and you will lose more weight than you ever thought possible. There were many times at the beginning that I wondered, "Why did I do this to myself?!" but now I'm almost 3 years out and that rough early post-op period is barely a blip in my memory. Have faith and give it time, and chances are good that you, like most people, will only eventually only regret that you didn't have surgery earlier. By the way, stalls are very normal. It's just your body re-adjusting. Keep going with your plan and the weight loss will resume.

Are you tracking what you eat? As your weight gets lower, your body uses fewer calories, so if you're consuming the same calories at 149 pounds that you were at 156 pounds, your weight loss will be slower, or you might be at your maintenance calories and need to lower your intake if you want to lose any more weight. Don't compare your weight loss to anyone else's. You have lost less than most WLS patients, but your starting weight was lower than most WLS patients'. For example, I lost 200 pounds, but you couldn't match that because you never had 200 pounds to lose.

Oh yeah, I had terrible bloating during my pre-op diet. I couldn’t drink the number of protein shakes I was supposed to (3 shakes + small meal for the first week, and 4 shakes for the liquid-only second week). I used a lot of whey protein after surgery and didn’t have the same problems, though.

Welcome! I hope you find this site helpful no matter what you choose to do. I see a lot of similarities in your story to mine. I was morbidly obese my entire adult life, but always in good health. Never took a sick day. Never went to the doctor. Didn’t have any prescriptions. But I got a promotion to a more sedentary job and gained even more weight, and my quality of life was terrible. I went to the doctor for a routine checkup and was diagnosed with hypertension and diabetes, and was facing having to go on medications to control those. I got to a point that felt like a crossroads. I could give up, keep enjoying eating (my one pleasure in life), and adapt as much as I could to my increasingly limited mobility, or I could take extreme action and get the surgery as a last-ditch effort to turn my life around. I had looked into WLS a long time ago and couldn’t imagine making my life revolve around my surgery. But when things changed to the point that it was effectively a life or death decision, I decided to give it a shot. I will tell you it has NOT been easy. I’m 2.5 years out and every day is still a struggle. Keeping the weight off is hard, hard work. But life a non-obese person is totally different. I lost 200 pounds — more than half my highest weight — and not carrying around a whole extra person has opened up the world to me. This would not have been possible without surgery. It’s a big commitment, but if you are ready and willing, it can change your life.

Yes, my surgeon used the Da Vinci robotic surgery system. He was oddly insistent that HE, the doctor, would be performing the surgery, not the robot, so I guess a lot of people have these concerns. The robot is just a tool that the surgeon can use. The surgeon is in control, but can maneuver the robot in ways that human hands can't work. My surgeon said that he performs the surgery both with and without the robot, but he prefers to use the robot. I personally would rather have my surgeon operate with the tools that he likes to use.

All you can do is wait. A lot of people have superstitions about how to break a stall, but the truth is that it all comes down to waiting it out. If you continue burning more calories than you eat, your stall will break and your weight loss will resume. Superstitions are usually based on the logical fallacy of equating correlation to causation — I increased/decreased my carbs/fat/protein/exercise/water and my stall ended! So they assume that whatever they happened to change was the cause of breaking the stall, even though it would have happened whether or not they made the change. TL;DR - you’re doing great, so keep it up and you’ll be successful.

Yeah, I had clothes in my closet that I already owned but were too small when I was at my heaviest (I think sizes 18-22) and I completely missed my window to fit into them when I was losing weight.

I wouldn't recommend spending a lot of money on incentive clothing because you'll probably lose weight so quickly that no size will fit for very long (until your weight stabilizes as you stop losing). Also, you deserve clothes that fit your body no matter what your size. I feel like I have noticed a lot more body positivity in clothing in the last few years -- I love stores that show the same item of clothing on models of different sizes so you can see how it looks on someone close to your own size.

I lost 110 pounds before anyone commented, and then, all of a sudden, the opposite — people would not shut up about my weight! I was not happy about that because I’m a private person and didn’t want to discuss it. The timing corresponded to when I bought new pants because my old ones were falling off, even with a belt, so if you want people to notice, some new clothes might help. But don’t worry, people will start to notice! I’ve seen people talk about weight loss as being like using a roll of paper towels. Take 10 sheets off a full roll and you can barely tell, but take 10 sheets from an almost empty roll and it makes a big difference.

This is a very informative video about goal weight for WLS patients:

I think the best way to resist temptation is to avoid it as much as possible. Don't buy junk food. If it's not around, you can't eat it. I take it a step further and use online grocery shopping (pickup or delivery) so I don't even have to go into the store. I shop mostly from my favorites lists that only contain healthy foods. On the rare occasion I go into the store, all of the temptations are in my face and I find myself tempted to buy something I shouldn't, "just this once." The more you have to face temptation, the more mental effort it takes to resist and the more likely you are to give in. Another thing that helps is having healthy, delicious foods readily available. If you like to cook, go on Pinterest to find healthy recipes that you look forward to trying. I live alone, so I always have a lot of leftovers that I freeze in individual portions, so I have a variety of healthy meals that I can easily grab from the freezer and heat in the microwave with some cauliflower rice. I meal prep a bunch of salads every week and have a variety of Skinny Girl salad dressings on hand. I eat a lot of sugar-free Jello with sugar-free meringue (made with pasteurized egg whites so it's safe to eat raw), and sugar-free meringue cookies. I also eat protein bars (Built Bars are my favorite) as a healthy-ish treat. This is so important, and it's really easy to take for granted once you lose the weight -- to forget how hard it is to live with morbid obesity. I recently saw a guy at work who was so big that he looked like he was struggling to walk out to the parking lot, and my heart broke for him because I remember being that big. I don't really think about it much anymore, but there was a time that I dreaded walking to and from the parking lot or up a couple of flights of stairs because it was so hard when I was carrying an extra 200 pounds. And that's not to mention all the social stigma on being fat, which I never want to experience again.

Walking. Someone on this forum recommended Leslie Sansone Walk at Home (search YouTube for Leslie Sansone to find lots of free videos) and I am so glad I gave it a try. I started with 15-minute videos and I still use these videos daily, sometimes 2 hours or more (multiple videos back-to-back). This is a great program for people of all fitness levels. I also like the fact that some of the group videos have body diversity — I found it very encouraging to see people my size in the videos when I was just starting out.

19 pounds in one month is in no way slow. If you’re comparing your weight loss to others’, (a) don’t and (b) they probably had a higher starting weight and therefore more to lose. The more excess weight you have, the faster you can lose it, but as you get smaller, it slows down. Each pound is harder to lose than the last. Be patient. You didn’t gain all the weight in a month, and you won’t lose it all in a month. There are many factors that affect your rate of weight loss, and 19 pounds in the first month is excellent.

Welcome! You have some very good questions, and the fact that you are thinking about these things is great. Weight loss surgery isn't for everyone, and I think it's really important to make the decision with your eyes wide open and be prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly. This forum is a great place to read about other people's experiences with WLS so you can know what to expect. Pay particular attention to catwoman7's posts -- she is a great example of a WLS success story, who lost all of her excess weight and has kept it off long-term (and she is a true bariatric guru with lots of excellent advice and insight). Just about all of us have had many failed weight loss attempts in the past. Most insurance companies require evidence of failed weight loss attempts before they'll pay for surgery, because surgery is a pretty drastic solution and few people would want to go through it if they could lose and maintain weight loss without surgery. But many of us who have failed so many times before have been successful with WLS. It is true that some people gain back some or all of the weight (or don't lose as much weight as they need to) after WLS because, as you've figured out, WLS isn't magic. It still takes a lot of work and commitment and (as much as I hate the term) lifestyle changes. I get the impression that in the early years of WLS, the emphasis was on the restriction (and, to some extent, malabsorption) of surgery -- the physical limitations that made it impossible to overeat and/or that made the patient ill from eating too much fat or sugar. Patients mainly relied on eating smaller quantities to lose weight. This works in the short term, but the restriction loosens up over time (so you can eventually eat more in one sitting), and if you continue eating high-calorie foods and/or get in the habit of eating around your surgery by eating smaller portions more frequently, you can easily increase your calorie consumption back to the point of regaining weight. For me (and many others), WLS made the initial weight loss much easier than dieting alone because I had no hunger for several months after surgery, but I do get hungry now and it's a challenge to stick to my plan. I think that these days, most WLS clinics have a more comprehensive approach and provide more guidance on dietary changes. After WLS, you pretty much reboot your eating patterns, almost like a baby. You go back to consuming only liquids, then pureed and mushy foods, and tiny bites of soft foods before you get back to eating like an adult. I think this process is the turning point for your long-term path after WLS. You can either take advantage of this opportunity to get into good habits of eating nutritious food, or you can get back into your old eating habits once you are physically able to eat normal foods again (which can ultimately lead to regain). As far as how WLS affects mental health, that is very dependent on the individual and not necessarily predictable. I think it's safe to say that most people's mental health benefits greatly from weight loss because living with obesity is incredibly difficult, but of course there are instances of unexpected negative results. If you have a history of mental health issues, that's something to discuss with your provider as part of your decision (and most insurance companies and clinics require a psychological consultation to make sure you are mentally/emotionally prepared for surgery). I did my surgery completely alone. I'm 2.5 years post-op and haven't told any family, friends, or coworkers about my surgery. I live alone and had no help after my surgery. I was fortunate to have a pretty easy recovery, so I had no problems taking care of myself (although I later developed bradycardia due to the rapid weight loss and had to get a pacemaker). In a way, I think living alone makes the post-op life easier because I have complete control over the food purchasing and preparation in my house. I simply don't buy foods that don't fit in my plan, so it is easy to avoid temptation. I encourage you to continue to research WLS and read about other people's experiences as you make your decision. Good luck!

Slow down and be patient. I know that for a lot of us, when we make the decision to get surgery, it feels urgent — we’ve gotten to the point that we can’t stand living with obesity for another day — and the wait to get the surgery feels like an eternity. But the pre-surgery process is a long one and it usually takes months from your initial consultation (which, if I understand correctly, you haven’t even had yet) to the actual surgery date. For me, it was 5 months, and even though it seemed like such a long wait, it flew by and once I got to the 2-week liquid diet, I felt like it snuck up on me so quickly! I would definitely not recommend starting a liquid diet before you even go in for your initial consultation. You’re not going to want to do that for any longer than required, and again, it could be months before your surgery. Instead, I recommend downloading a food tracking app (I use MyFitnessPal, but there are other options like Baritastic, Lose It, Cronometer, etc.) and start tracking everything you eat. Actually measure your portions, preferably with a food scale. I wouldn’t recommend rushing into anything before you’ve actually talked to a surgeon. Your surgeon’s office should give you all the information about post-op progression and vitamin recommendations. There’s no need for you to get a head start on it at this point, and you may find that your surgeon”s instructions will be different than some random information from the internet.

Oh, man, I have so many horrible memories of those chairs with attached desks. I haven't encountered one since I lost weight, but now that I think about it, I kind of want to see what it's like to fit into one comfortably! Yes! I used to hate booths so much, but I was too embarrassed to speak up and ask for a table because I was too fat to fit in a booth, so I just had to hope and pray to get a booth. I wonder if servers think about that. You would think it would come up often enough that they would try to be nice and default to a table when they see a plus-sized customer. Anyway, it is nice not to have the emotional burden of always having to wonder if I will fit into a seat.

I know exactly what you mean about being self-conscious about food in public, and I've been in that same situation of not wanting to bring food back for someone else because I know no one would believe me. That is very cool that you can feel free to carry two plates of food now. Sadly, even after losing the weight, I still hate eating in front of people and I still carry that shame about food. Even when I'm eating healthy food, I still feel like people are watching and judging what I eat. A few months back, I was buying fish at a seafood market and I asked for advice about how to cook a certain kind of fish, and the lady at the counter started to say it's good fried, but then she stopped and said, "Well, you're probably into healthy cooking, right?" based on nothing but looking at me, and it felt so weird! I don't think I'll ever lose the scars of being the fat girl.

If you don’t have any surgical complications, you might be fine to do this as an outpatient procedure (especially since you have your husband to keep an eye on you and provide assistance). However, you need to be really diligent about following post-surgery instructions. I stayed one night, and I was eager to get released and go home, but in hindsight, I’m glad they made me stay overnight because it was so difficult to get sufficient fluid intake those first few days. While I was in the hospital, they pumped me full of IV fluids, which gave me a head start on hydration while I struggled to drink water. Dehydration is one of the most common causes of hospitalization after surgery, so without the help of an extra night of IV fluids, you’ll need to be extra careful about keeping up with your fluid intake or you might have to go back to the hospital anyway.

I'm 2.5 years post-op from gastric bypass. I think weight loss surgery can help make major changes to your relationship with food and eating, but it takes a lot of time and work to undo the habits and mindset you've developed throughout your life up to this point. I had read that a lot of people experience changes in their tastes after surgery, and I hoped that would be the case for me but was not optimistic. I mentioned this hope to the psychiatrist during my psych eval for the surgery, and he kind of laughed at this idea and told me not to count on it. I've always been a picky eater with a long list of vegetables and cuisines that I wouldn't eat. Some people say that after surgery, food tastes different (e.g., anything sweet tastes too sweet), but that was not my experience, so I figured I wasn't one of the lucky ones whose tastes would change. Well, fast-forward to now and my tastes have changed... sort of. It's hard to explain because foods taste the same now as they did before surgery, but my likes and dislikes have changed a lot. I used to hate seafood and now I love it. I eat all kinds of vegetables that I used to hate. I'm not sure if my tastes have changed or I just have more of an open mind, or maybe having to go through the pre-op liquid diet and post-op stages made me appreciate real food more when I reintroduced it. Either way, I'm eating healthy foods every day and loving them. Before surgery, I loved watching cooking shows like Top Chef and Great British Baking Show. For the first several months after surgery, I couldn't bear to watch cooking shows. I hated even seeing food commercials on TV. It just made me sad and angry to see foods that I could no longer eat. But eventually, I got to a point where I could see food and cooking without the emotional attachment. I can watch Great British Baking Show and appreciate the cakes and cookies they make without being sad that I can't eat them. Once I got to the point of reintroducing solid food, I put a lot of effort into recreating "bariatric-friendly" versions of foods I used to eat -- especially pizza. Pizza was my kryptonite, and before surgery, I could not get enough pizza. I could have eaten pizza every day and never gotten tired of it. After surgery, I tried chicken crust pizza, and making pizza with low-carb tortilla for the crust, topped with sugar-free marinara, low fat mozzarella, and turkey pepperoni. But I also started trying healthy recipes that I found on Pinterest, and eventually, I stopped craving pizza. I haven't had anything resembling pizza (even a healthy version) in well over a year and I don't care. If you put two plates in front of me, one with a slice of pizza and one with grilled salmon and roasted vegetables, I would go straight for the salmon and not even be tempted by the pizza. This is just wild to me because three years ago, I wouldn't have eaten salmon if it were the only food available, and I never could have passed up a slice of pizza. Sometimes I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience because before surgery, I couldn't imagine being the health nut with a refrigerator full of fresh produce and no junk food in the house, eating grilled fish and cauliflower rice and salad with fat-free dressing, but here I am. I am constantly finding new, healthy, delicious recipes. Every single day, I eat healthy food and think, "Holy crap, this is delicious!" I honestly enjoy food more now than I did when I was eating whatever I wanted with wild abandon. It took me a long time to get here, and I can't promise that you or anyone else will have the same experiences after weight loss surgery, but my relationship with food has changed more than I could have imagined.

When I was considering weight loss surgery, I specifically looked for people who regretted it. I always like to be prepared, and for me, it was important to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. I had a hard time finding people who regretted their surgery; even people who suffered from serious complications often said that they would still do it again! I think it's important to go into surgery with your eyes open. It's not fun or easy. There are pros and cons and you have to evaluate for yourself if the surgery is worth it. For me, it was pretty clear cut, and yet still a tough decision. I started with a BMI over 60. My weight seriously hindered every aspect of my life. It was worth it for me to take a chance, even knowing all the negatives and risks, because it felt like my only chance to live. I lost more weight than I ever thought possible, but it's a struggle every day -- and yet nothing compared to how hard it was to live with morbid obesity.