BigSue

You have every right to be upset about what your husband said. It was terrible and hurtful and not something a person should say to someone he loves. I should probably refrain from giving relationship advice because I've never been in a relationship, but I have read a lot of accounts of people who experienced relationship problems after they lost weight because of their partners' jealousy. I can't help but wonder if that's at play here -- maybe your husband is feeling insecure because people are noticing how good you look and he's afraid he'll no longer be good enough for you. We all have our reasons for wanting to lose weight and wanting to get WLS, and even if 99.9% of the reason is about your health, I doubt there's a single person who doesn't have at least 0.1% of the reason as wanting others to find us more attractive. So there is nothing wrong with that. Even if your main reason for losing weight WAS in hopes of being more attractive to your husband, it's not too late to realize that you are worth it, and you were worth it all along. If your husband doesn't appreciate it, that's his loss, and now you can focus on things that are more important, like yourself, your health, your quality of life, and being there for your kids. Getting weight loss surgery is brave. You took a leap and changed your life. You lost 90 pounds in 6 months, which is amazing! How many people do you know who have done that (outside of this forum, of course)? I hope your husband gets his head out of his rear and gives you the support that you deserve, but if he doesn't, remember that you have proven to yourself that you can do it.

I first considered bariatric surgery about 15 years before I actually went through with it. I considered it off and on at various times in my life, but kept deciding against it, until 3 years ago when I couldn't keep living the way I was and realized that I had to do something drastic. Like you, I spent a lot of time worrying about the worst case scenario and I specifically sought out stories of people who have regretted having bariatric surgery. These are hard to find! Bariatric surgery is very common and safe nowadays and serious complications are rare. Of course, that's not much comfort when you are one of the unlucky few, but even when I found people who had horrible complications, most of them still said they would do it all over again. I think the main reason you don't find a lot of bariatric surgery veterans on this forum or other WLS communities is that the first year or so is really rough and requires a lot of lifestyle changes and attention, but eventually, you get used to the changes and find a new normal (plus, most people can gradually return to a relatively "normal" diet) and get to a point where your life no longer revolves around your surgery. One of the biggest factors that made me hesitant about getting the surgery was that I didn't want my life to be ruled by my pouch. But I got to a point where my life was severely limited by my weight, so I took the plunge and had the surgery. I've lost 200 pounds and the world has really opened up to me. I'm 3 years out and have completely changed my diet and lifestyle, but I can eat a "normal" portion (not as much as when I was 300+ pounds, of course, but I'm not limited to half a cup of food anymore). I can drink water as much and as quickly as I ever could before surgery. I haven't told anyone, even my family, that I got surgery. Like a lot of people I wish that I had lost weight earlier because my weight was holding me back in so many ways, but it was probably a good thing that I wanted until I was really ready to change my lifestyle before I had the surgery. There are people who gain back all the weight, and I suspect that this is because they rely on the surgery alone for weight loss, and once the effects wear off, they are able to go back to their old eating habits and regain the weight. I do not experience dumping and I have only had one day of vomiting since my surgery. I kind of wish I would get dumping syndrome because it would be a good deterrent to eating things I shouldn't. If I eat something with too much fat and/or sugar (e.g., a slice of cake), I get super sleepy and feel like garbage for the rest of the day. I actually have had a serious complication, not directly from the surgery, but from the rapid weight loss, and that is bradycardia which required me to get a pacemaker. That's a bummer, but I'm sure my overall health is better off now than it would have been without the surgery.

Vitamin patches are hit or miss. They work for some people but not for others. If you're not taking any multivitamins, patches are almost certainly better than nothing, so it's worth a try. Did the multivitamins that caused nausea contain iron? A lot of people experience nausea from iron supplements, so you might want to try a multivitamin without iron. For iron supplements, there are different forms of iron, and iron bisglycinate is supposed to be easier on the stomach than ferrous sulfate (which is the more common form of iron), so that's another thing you can try. I don't think it's particularly common to get a medic alert bracelet just for bariatric surgery. I do have one because I have a pacemaker, so in addition to my pacemaker info, I have "No blind NG tube" and "No NSAIDS." I wouldn't have gotten one just for that, though (and I didn't get one until I got my pacemaker). I don't have an actual bracelet, either -- I have a tag that attaches to my watch band (it's from a web site called Road ID). It is much more subtle than a separate bracelet, so if you want a bracelet but are self-conscious about it, you might consider something like that.

Welcome back! It seems like most people drift away after a while, once they get used to their "new normal" post-surgery life and no longer want or need everything to revolve around their surgery. I'm almost 3 years post-op and sometimes get tired of seeing the same posts over and over again from the next crop of newbies. There are a few WLS veterans like catwoman7, Arabesque, and The Greater Fool who have stuck around and answer these questions with the patience of saints, but they are few and far between.

My last meal was Marco's pepperoni pizza and cheesy bread. That was actually my last two meals -- I got a whole pizza and order of cheesy bread and ate half of each on each of my last two days before surgery. I planned out a whole week of food funerals, but the catch was that I had to stay under 2,000 calories per day (I lost 70 pounds in the 5 months before surgery by limiting calories). The half pizza and half cheesy bread was my entire 2000 calories for each of the last two days. The rest of the week (which I know because I recorded it all in MyFitnessPal) included: Ribs and sidewinder fries from my favorite local restaurant Steak and onion rings (the steak was a ribeye from Walmart and really disappointing -- I wish I had splurged on a better steak) and half a piece of cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory (660 calories for half the slice!) Red Baron pizza and the other half of the slice of cheesecake Bacon cheeseburger that was voted the best burger in the city and a Klondike bar Pizza and wings from Pizza Hut I... really liked pizza. Before surgery, if I so much as saw an extra eating pizza in the background of a TV show, I would get an insatiable craving for pizza. Once a week, I would fast all day so I could have a whole Red Baron pizza as my one meal for the day (their brick oven pizza is underrated in the frozen pizza world). After surgery, I made some attempts at healthy pizza (e.g., chicken crust, low-carb tortilla crust) but eventually came to realize there were much tastier and healthier things that I would rather eat. I haven't had real pizza since my surgery (almost 3 years ago) or anything even resembling pizza in the last couple of years and, oddly enough, I don't miss it.

After my surgery, I was getting in better shape (from both weight loss and increased exercise) and my resting heart rate steadily decreased. By about a year post-op, my resting heart rate was 38 beats per minute and I was experiencing fatigue, weakness, and edema in my legs. My surgeon said this can happen because of rapid weight loss and referred me to a cardiologist, who diagnosed me with sinus bradycardia. The cardiologist said that some people can live with bradycardia without having symptoms, in which case, it's not really a concern, but since I was having symptoms that affected me pretty severely, I had to get a pacemaker.

Nuts are pretty calorie-dense and can cause weight gain if you eat a lot of them, but 1 ounce of cashews is about 160 calories (could be more if they have added ingredients, e.g., honey-roasted) and have no more impact on your weight than 160 calories from any other food. Are you including that in your 700 calories per day or is that in addition? Either way, you are under 1000 calories per day, which is low enough that you will continue to lose weight (especially if you're working out 60-90 minutes per day). Stalls are very common and normal. Weight loss isn't linear. Stick with your program and your weight loss will resume. I'm guessing that BMI is in error. I suspect the weight is meant to be 235 pounds and not 235 kg (518 pounds). While it's possible that she actually weighs 518 pounds, her goal weight of 150 kg (330 pounds) would be unusually high for a goal weight. Still, even at a weight of 235 pounds (BMI of 39), less than 1000 calories per day is well below TDEE.

Have you tried calling your surgeon’s office? Even if they’re not open on the weekend, they probably have an on call service during off hours.

If your biggest concern about this surgery is loose skin, you are not ready for bariatric surgery.

I hope you didn’t intentionally gain weight just to qualify for surgery.

Good luck -- hope everything goes well for you! P.S. Remember that you put a lot of thought into the decision to get this surgery and you know it's the right thing for you. It's very common to have buyer's remorse early on, but have faith that once you get through the hard part, you'll be glad you decided to change your life.

Stalls are a normal part of weight loss, but when you say your "diet can use some work," is it possible that you aren't losing weight because you're not in a calorie deficit? It would be unusual to be able to eat that much 2 months post-op, but it's hard to say without more information. The less you weigh, the lower your calorie needs, so if you're consuming the same number of calories now that you were when you were 30 pounds heavier, that could now be too much for weight loss. Regardless, you shouldn't be afraid of what your surgeon will say about your weight loss. Your surgeon isn't (or shouldn't be) there to judge you, but to help you. If what you're doing isn't working, your surgeon/clinic wants to help you fix it.

What an incredibly compassionate and helpful reply! @mlbninja, I’m glad you found this forum and reached out for help! I hope you will click around this site and keep posting because we WLS patients have a unique set of experiences and challenges, and sometimes it just helps to know you’re not alone in what you’re going through.

If you are concerned about loose skin, don't get the surgery. If the possibility of loose skin outweighs the health problems you want to resolve or prevent by getting weight loss surgery, you are not ready to get surgery.

I am obsessed with Built Bats. They are lower in calories than most other protein bars (130 to 180 depending on flavor) and DELICIOUS. They have three types: bars (which have a caramel-like texture), puffs (marshmallow filling), and granola (like caramel with granola mixed in; different from traditional granola bars), with several flavors of each, and an ever-changing selection of limited release flavors. It’s a matter or personal preference, but granola bars are my favorites, followed by regular bars, and the puffs taste good but are not as filling. Others I like include Fit Crunch, Verb, and Fulfil. I have seen Walmart and Trader Joe’s selling singles of various brands of protein bars, which is nice if you want to try one before you buy a whole box.

The pre-op diet is one of the most difficult parts of the WLS process. It can vary greatly from one surgeon to the next, and even between patients for the same surgeon (for example, I've read that some surgeons require a more strict pre-op diet for patients with a higher BMI and/or who carry more weight in the abdomen), but remember that it is for the safety of your surgery, to shrink your liver so your surgeon has good access to your stomach. You are trusting your surgeon to cut you open and rearrange your digestive system, so it's important for you to do your part in getting your body ready for surgery. As for tips and tricks, it depends on what's allowed on your pre-op diet, but sugar-free Jello and sugar-free popsicles are helpful if they're allowed (also for the post-op diet). A strategy I used during my pre-op diet was to get a lot of samples of different brands and flavors of protein shakes, so I had a variety and it helped me to figure out what I liked in preparation for using post-op (but be aware that many people report a change in taste after surgery, and after stocking up on protein shakes they liked before surgery, they realize they can't stand the same shakes after surgery). Good luck!

There is a lot of variation in amount of weight loss for all types of weight loss surgeries. The outcomes are not that different between sleeve and bypass, but it is true that on average, bypass patients lose more than sleeve patients. But again, that is an average and doesn’t mean that an individual patient will be better off with bypass than with sleeve. There are pros and cons to both surgeries, and your surgeon may have had specific reasons for recommending sleeve to you. This would have been a good thing to ask before you went through with the surgery. I guess the good news is that you can get a revision to bypass if necessary, but that is a long way off. If you follow your clinic’s instructions (which is the most important factor in your weight loss), you will achieve significant weight loss with the sleeve.

It's very normal to have feelings of regret early on. The first few weeks after surgery are the hardest because you're still recovering from major surgery, adjusting to your new stomach, very limited in what you can eat, and you haven't seen the benefits of the weight loss yet. For most people, things just get better from there. You will soon get to start reintroducing "normal" food and you will lose more weight than you ever thought possible. There were many times at the beginning that I wondered, "Why did I do this to myself?!" but now I'm almost 3 years out and that rough early post-op period is barely a blip in my memory. Have faith and give it time, and chances are good that you, like most people, will only eventually only regret that you didn't have surgery earlier. By the way, stalls are very normal. It's just your body re-adjusting. Keep going with your plan and the weight loss will resume.

Are you tracking what you eat? As your weight gets lower, your body uses fewer calories, so if you're consuming the same calories at 149 pounds that you were at 156 pounds, your weight loss will be slower, or you might be at your maintenance calories and need to lower your intake if you want to lose any more weight. Don't compare your weight loss to anyone else's. You have lost less than most WLS patients, but your starting weight was lower than most WLS patients'. For example, I lost 200 pounds, but you couldn't match that because you never had 200 pounds to lose.

Oh yeah, I had terrible bloating during my pre-op diet. I couldn’t drink the number of protein shakes I was supposed to (3 shakes + small meal for the first week, and 4 shakes for the liquid-only second week). I used a lot of whey protein after surgery and didn’t have the same problems, though.

Welcome! I hope you find this site helpful no matter what you choose to do. I see a lot of similarities in your story to mine. I was morbidly obese my entire adult life, but always in good health. Never took a sick day. Never went to the doctor. Didn’t have any prescriptions. But I got a promotion to a more sedentary job and gained even more weight, and my quality of life was terrible. I went to the doctor for a routine checkup and was diagnosed with hypertension and diabetes, and was facing having to go on medications to control those. I got to a point that felt like a crossroads. I could give up, keep enjoying eating (my one pleasure in life), and adapt as much as I could to my increasingly limited mobility, or I could take extreme action and get the surgery as a last-ditch effort to turn my life around. I had looked into WLS a long time ago and couldn’t imagine making my life revolve around my surgery. But when things changed to the point that it was effectively a life or death decision, I decided to give it a shot. I will tell you it has NOT been easy. I’m 2.5 years out and every day is still a struggle. Keeping the weight off is hard, hard work. But life a non-obese person is totally different. I lost 200 pounds — more than half my highest weight — and not carrying around a whole extra person has opened up the world to me. This would not have been possible without surgery. It’s a big commitment, but if you are ready and willing, it can change your life.

Yes, my surgeon used the Da Vinci robotic surgery system. He was oddly insistent that HE, the doctor, would be performing the surgery, not the robot, so I guess a lot of people have these concerns. The robot is just a tool that the surgeon can use. The surgeon is in control, but can maneuver the robot in ways that human hands can't work. My surgeon said that he performs the surgery both with and without the robot, but he prefers to use the robot. I personally would rather have my surgeon operate with the tools that he likes to use.

All you can do is wait. A lot of people have superstitions about how to break a stall, but the truth is that it all comes down to waiting it out. If you continue burning more calories than you eat, your stall will break and your weight loss will resume. Superstitions are usually based on the logical fallacy of equating correlation to causation — I increased/decreased my carbs/fat/protein/exercise/water and my stall ended! So they assume that whatever they happened to change was the cause of breaking the stall, even though it would have happened whether or not they made the change. TL;DR - you’re doing great, so keep it up and you’ll be successful.

Yeah, I had clothes in my closet that I already owned but were too small when I was at my heaviest (I think sizes 18-22) and I completely missed my window to fit into them when I was losing weight.

I wouldn't recommend spending a lot of money on incentive clothing because you'll probably lose weight so quickly that no size will fit for very long (until your weight stabilizes as you stop losing). Also, you deserve clothes that fit your body no matter what your size. I feel like I have noticed a lot more body positivity in clothing in the last few years -- I love stores that show the same item of clothing on models of different sizes so you can see how it looks on someone close to your own size.