BigSue

I think a lot of bariatric programs adopt a "one-size-fits-all" strategy because, frankly, it's easier than tailoring it to each individual patient. They go with something conservative and simple that should be fine for everyone, even if not ideal for all patients. To be clear, I don't think there's anything wrong with your asking these questions, and you're probably better off for looking at it this way and trying to optimize your own nutrition. But I can also see how this kind of discussion can be confusing for some patients. Hang out on this site for a while and you'll see a lot of posts from people who have alarmingly little knowledge about what they're supposed to be eating post-op (although I suspect some of these are trolls). Some patients basically need to be micromanaged and told exactly what to eat and drink at every stage. Plus, the surgeon might be afraid that if he tells you that a different shake is ok, other patients will either hear what they want to hear ("If Unjury shakes are ok, I guess that means I can drink any shakes I want, and I like McDonalds shakes!") or start bombarding him with questions about other specific products. That could explain why he is more reasonable when you meet with him one-on-one as opposed to in a support group setting with other patients. Anyway, I'm with you about real food vs. shakes. For the first several months, I relied on protein shakes and other protein-fortified products a lot, but I'm 15 months out now and I can easily get enough protein from real food, so I don't want to waste my calories on protein shakes that I don't even enjoy! I would much rather have a grilled chicken salad or a Mr. Tortilla turkey wrap or a broccoli slaw omelet than drink a protein shake.

When I was in the hospital for my gastric bypass surgery, the first meal tray they brought me had a bowl of fruit cocktail! Apparently, they were out of sugar-free Jello, and they decided that fruit cocktail was the best substitution they had. When the nurse came in and saw it, she gasped and said, "You didn't eat any of that, did you?" and went to give the food service people a talking-to.

I struggled with water right after surgery, but I'm a little over a year out from gastric bypass and I can drink water at a normal pace now. I still log my fluid consumption in MyFitnessPal, but I always drink way more than 64 ounces without really having to try. I wasn't very good about drinking water before surgery, but the surgery got me in the habit of drinking a lot of water, so I actually drink a lot more now than I did before surgery. Occasionally, I will take too big of a gulp and it will be a little uncomfortable, but other than that, I have no issues.

For what it's worth, I went into my consultation leaning toward the sleeve and my surgeon changed my mind to gastric bypass. He does perform both procedures but he recommended gastric bypass to me. I took his recommendation because he's an expert and he had good reasons for recommending gastric bypass, but if you feel strongly that you want the sleeve, consider getting a second opinion. It's a really big decision!

Different surgeons have different preferences and recommendations. Some of them only perform one type of WLS. You have the right to get a second opinion from another surgeon, and go with a different surgeon who will perform a bypass.

Oh yeah! That was one thing I never saw or heard mentioned before surgery, but I have experienced the same thing and I've since seen a lot of other people here mention it. It makes me wonder if all skinny people have that problem or just those of us who lost a lot of weight.

There are lots of reasons an insurance company can deny surgery, and some are easier to resolve than others. My first request was denied because my insurance company added a requirement (after I had already started the process) for a letter from my PCP with some specific wording about being "medically cleared for surgery." My surgeon's office sent an example letter to my PCP with the required wording, and once my PCP submitted the letter, my appeal was approved. Most clinics check the insurance requirements at the beginning of the process because they don't want to waste their time or yours if you're not going to qualify.

I forgot to mention: the BariatricPal store frequently has sales like 25% off all vitamins, 30% off BariatricPal brand products, etc. I watch for those sales and stock up on the calcium chews when they're on sale.

I wait to drink before and after meals because my surgeon said so. Actually, my surgeon didn't say anything about waiting before meals, but I do anyway because I've heard that other surgeons advise that. It's not that it would necessarily make me sick, just that if my stomach is full (either from food or water) there's not room.

Congratulations! That's awesome!

I LOVE the BariatricPal Belgian Chocolate Caramel and French Vanilla Caramel calcium chews. They really taste like candy; I look forward to taking them and I consider them a treat. I've also tried the strawberry watermelon flavor, and they're ok but not as delicious as the chocolate and caramel ones. I take calcium 3 times per day: once as calcium citrate tablets (Citrical Petites) and two of the BariatricPal chews.

I'm 13 months out, and I can drink pretty much normally. For the first few months, I was only able to sip slowly, but it wasn't too long before I could drink easily. I've never really been one to "chug" water really fast, so my idea of "normal" might not be what you're used to, but I am definitely not limited to sipping. I do still wait 30 minutes before and after meals to drink anything. At first, it was hard to get used to that, but now it feels normal not to drink with meals, and in fact, when I have guests, I sometimes forget to offer beverages at meals!

I'm sorry your husband isn't being supportive. I live alone and I chose not to tell anyone about my surgery other than medical professionals, so a ride to and from the hospital was an issue for me as well. I just took a taxi to the hospital, but the hospital told me I wasn't allowed to take a taxi/Uber/Lyft home and I had to give them the name and contact info of the person picking me up. I contacted a local home health care agency and they picked me up. The fee wasn't much more than the taxi ride and included a 4-hour shift of home health care, which was nice because the person who picked me up helped me bring my stuff in the house and picked up my prescriptions for me.

I also used to put 250 even when I was over 300! I just renewed mine a couple of months ago and I was 100 pounds under what used to be the low lie.

I bought a seatbelt extender from Amazon so I wouldn't have to ask for one. I haven't been on an airplane since my surgery, but when I do, I'm looking forward to not having to bring my extender!

I find myself cooking a lot of Mexican-flavored cuisine. Things like shredded meat, salsa, and cauliflower rice are very bariatric-friendly!

@Sophie7713, Your food looks AMAZING -- both in terms of taste and photography. This is straight-up food porn! I'm a terrible photographer, so my food never looks as good as it tastes. 😀 @Dave In Houston, I am actually enjoying food MORE after surgery than I did before when I could (and did) eat whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted. I can hardly believe how much my tastes have changed. I used to hate most vegetables and now I love them. One of my favorite snacks now is tomato slices with salt and pepper. I would rather eat that than a bag of chips. I used to hate fish and now I like it! I keep discovering healthy foods that I used to hate and now taste good to me. I used to be practically addicted to pizza and now I have very little desire to eat it. I do still have a sweet tooth, but I've found some healthy-ish treats (chia pudding, sugar-free meringues, protein mug cakes, protein bars) that keep me satisfied without going off-plan. I truly enjoy going on Pinterest and finding new healthy recipes to try that taste amazing, and that I never would have eaten before surgery. It's a big adjustment, especially in the beginning, but it should get much easier once you're back to "regular" food.

No need to apologize -- we're here to support each other! I don't know if there are any support groups in the Bay Area, but this site is a great resource. Sorry to hear your family isn't being supportive, but unfortunately, it's going to be rough for a while as you get used to your new life. You're going to have to watch other people eat as you go through the liquid, pureed, and soft food stages. You're probably going to miss some of the foods you used to eat and maybe have feelings of regret. But you'll eventually be able to eat "normal" foods again and learn to love a healthier way of eating. Just remember why you're doing this -- it's an amazing chance to improve your health and quality of life. Once you start to see results, it will all be worth it and you'll probably wish you had done it sooner. Good luck!

I've like to join the ML10 group, except for the fact that it's on Facebook and therefore not anonymous. I chose not to tell anyone other than medical professionals about my surgery, so I don't want to join a WLS group with my real name. For me, it depends on what the homework is. The first therapist gave me a generic feelings journal that felt really pointless, and I suspect he gives the same thing to everyone. I wouldn't mind doing "homework" that felt like there was a purpose to it -- some kind of actionable advice.

I don't have a problem with therapy "homework" per se, but the first therapist gave me this generic feelings journal that he wanted me to fill out every day, and it felt kind of pointless and condescending. I suspect he gives this to every patient. I actually think it would be great to have a therapist give me some actionable advice to try between sessions, and it looks like that's what yours is doing!

Thank you so much for replying! I was especially interested in your thoughts because you have posted a lot about this subject. It's too bad not all bariatric centers provide this kind of resources. So, if I'm understanding what you're saying, it seems like you think I should try to find another therapist -- one who has experience treating WLS patients or at least disordered eating? I actually really liked the guy who did my pre-surgery psych eval and I've been thinking about going to him. It seems like it might be awkward, but I got the sense that he knew a lot about WLS and the issues relating to it. I had a session with my current therapist today and I wrote up a list of issues that I wanted to address, and I think that helped... But I don't want to keep wasting time and money with someone who is not going to be able to help me with what I need to work on.

There's a WLS YouTuber (My Level 10 Life) who swears by Better Help (she's actually paid to promote them, but she swears that she gets asked to promote a lot of things and only promotes things she really believes in), but I'm skeptical of it and I'm almost certain my insurance wouldn't cover any of that. I can try asking my surgery center for a recommendation. I didn't ask them because I wanted to get someone in-network for my insurance, but at this point, I think I'd rather pay out of pocket for something that actually helps. I have a high deductible that I haven't met yet, so I'm paying out of pocket right now, anyway. Maybe I could ask the therapist who did my pre-surgery eval for a recommendation. I've actually thought about going to him because I liked him and I could tell he knows a lot about WLS, but it seems weird (and maybe a conflict of interest) to see the person who did my eval. I agree about not liking homework! That's another thing that annoyed me about the first one -- he was big on homework, and it was all really generic, nothing that he came up with specifically to help me. I had told him that my biggest struggle was that I felt like my surgery and weight loss is taking over my life and I have no time or energy left for anything else, and then he comes up with some busy work for me to do.

Thank you so much for your helpful reply! I also had a psych eval for surgery approval and I actually really liked the therapist. I could tell he knew a lot about weight loss surgery. I think he said that he offers post-surgery counseling, but it seems like it would be awkward and maybe a conflict of interest. But I've been thinking about going to him if I give up on the current one. I realize that there will be a lot of talking about feelings and stuff with any therapist, but what's frustrating to me is that neither of these therapists seems to make any effort to relate any of my feelings to food/eating, even though I explicitly said these are the issues I want to address. But maybe if I can articulate this better to the therapist, she will understand what I'm looking for.

I usually wear tight leggings for my cardio workout and later change into loose-fitting joggers before I take a walk in my neighborhood. Yesterday, I was feeling lazy about changing my pants and I realized: I can probably wear leggings in public without anyone saying, "Ew, she should NOT be wearing that," or "Nobody needs to see THAT."* I might be able to pass for just another basic b****! * To be clear, I don't think anyone should say that no matter what someone's weight, but I've heard people say it and it always stopped me from wearing leggings in public.

Did your surgeon give you any guidance on this? Most surgeons encourage plenty of walking and a mile should be fine if you're up to it.