Tormentus

So a little background: I am a 6'3" male who had my "Sleeve" done in July and ran into a small Pulmonary Embolism which kept me at the hospital an extra week. I have to take blood thinners for at least 1 year but thank god they have moved me off of the Lovenox injections (I hate and fear needles) and onto a pill so it's not that big of a bother now . A month before surgery I was 500lbs but got down to 455lbs on the day of my surgery. I honestly forgot what my weight was 3-4 months ago on my last surgeon visit and any scales I have had access to since then top out at 300-350lbs. I vaguely recall one doctors scale saying 375 almost 2 months ago but it could have been in error since it really wasn't built for that. I have a few concerns that you guys probably heard a billion times so please excuse me but I just don't want to screw up too bad.
Despite access to a usable scale I know I am losing weight because I have had to buy smaller clothes. I wore a 5XL shirt pre-op and now wear 3-2XL, some other articles too small 30 days ago now starting to fit little by little as time goes on etc etc. I have also noticed loose skin and I keep getting told I have a noticeable reduction in my face. I am having a few issues that I can't tell if I am ruining my surgery or what but hopefully you guys can help and sorry for the novels worth of words ahead.
Firstly I am worried that I may be stretched out too much. I am VERY picky eater and don't eat vegetables, but before you go on with the lecture let me say: "YES, I have "Re-tried" them all several times to appease people and in various different preparations but no matter what whenever I eat most vegetables the taste literally makes me sick" anyway, I knew this was going to cause some challenges .Once I could eat normal foods my diet was pretty much occasionally scrambled eggs for Breakfast, 2 pieces of grilled chicken for dinner every night and fruit anytime before and after that. Mostly oranges but also apples, banana and the occasional grapes.
Now that the weather has changed grilling enough for most of the week is not as easy so I have had to mix it up. I know it is shameful but a few days during the week I stay at my gf's apt and she has no way to cook in her apt so I try to bring as much "pre-cooked" food from home to microwave but often we have to order out and this is where being a picky eater runs into some problems. It's hard to find any healthy dishes I enjoy with most of the places mostly because most of them are vegetable based or vege heavy. I tried doing grilled chicken from halal place but it is hard to order food for 2 people when 1 person is not on a diet and the other does not eat most of the healthy options. Naturally I have had to get regular non-diet foods like an occasional burger, italian/pizza, chinese rice/soup and mexican. Obviously I am not able to consume the entire portion of whatever I get and it is a bit of a waste of money with all the leftovers not eaten again but I was always taught that moderation was the most important thing no matter what you eat and it has not seemed to interrupt the weight loss this entire time so I thought it was ok but I am often wrong.
I only have this delivery stuff a couple times a week at most and I don't order out the rest of the week when back home but I have noticed lately that no matter what I eat I am able to eat larger portions than I did a few months ago. I am not talking about eating an "overstuffing binge" amount but def a bit more than I could eat a few months ago. For example I ate 2 decent sized chicken breast cutlets tonight with no problem when a few months ago it was a struggle to eat 1 and a 1/2 drumsticks. It seems to be inconsistent too, in other words some days I can only handle a smaller portion and then the next day it could be a larger portion and it will just randomly switch between the 2 all week. This has me worried I have done something wrong to my stomach with my eating. Recently most of my diet has consisted of eating yogurt, I will have a "fruit on the bottom" cup multiple times a day either as a meal or as a snack and other than that I only eat fruit or some "Popcorners" (they are popcorn somehow shaped into a "potato chip" shape) but the nutritional facts state they are not a junk food chip with the bad stuff. OH, I also forgot to mention that even way before my surgery I only drink water. I DO NOT drink any kind of high sugar drinks, carbonated drinks or even anything with caffeine like coffee, soda or tea. I may have a glass of orange juice once in a blue moon but aside from that it's nothing but Water all day every day. Does it sound like I screwed up and ruined this whole thing?
My other issue I have noticed is my hair started coming out in worrying amounts when brushing and in clumps during a shower. I do have long hair and it seems to be getting thin in some spots and much more scalp is showing through if I pull my hair into a ponytail. I never had this issue before and it is scaring me a bit. I take a daily "complete" Multi-Vitamin along with an extra pill of Iron and I know my Protein intake is probably not ideal but I don't think it is low enough to warrant the hair falling out like this. Is this something anyone has experienced?
Lately I have been experiencing some body dismorphia where some days I will look in the mirror and notice my weight loss but some days my head starts to tell me I am either "gaining weight", "not losing anymore weight" or just a general lowering of self esteem and I swear that I start to see these things in the mirror when logic tells me it is not possible. One other thing that has been really messing with my head is the whole loose skin situation. I feel like the loose skin is going to make me look disgusting or undesirable when all is said and done but also it's kind of like "what was the point of losing all the weight if I will only look as bad or worse than I did when I was obese?" It kind of makes me think I will be trading in one type of depression for a new one and still be in the same boat I was before and I really don't want that. I feel like all the positive aspects of the surgery will only be physical in it's results but still leave me in the same low self esteem state of mind I was in before. Any of you run into this? Did you figure out how to get past it?
Thanks in advance and again I apologize for the long post but I just want to get everything out in one shot. I look forward to any replies.

So a little background: I am a 6'3" male who had my "Sleeve" done in July and ran into a small Pulmonary Embolism which kept me at the hospital an extra week. I have to take blood thinners for at least 1 year but thank god they have moved me off of the Lovenox injections (I hate and fear needles) and onto a pill so it's not that big of a bother now . A month before surgery I was 500lbs but got down to 455lbs on the day of my surgery. I honestly forgot what my weight was 3-4 months ago on my last surgeon visit and any scales I have had access to since then top out at 300-350lbs. I vaguely recall one doctors scale saying 375 almost 2 months ago but it could have been in error since it really wasn't built for that. I have a few concerns that you guys probably heard a billion times so please excuse me but I just don't want to screw up too bad.
Despite access to a usable scale I know I am losing weight because I have had to buy smaller clothes. I wore a 5XL shirt pre-op and now wear 3-2XL, some other articles too small 30 days ago now starting to fit little by little as time goes on etc etc. I have also noticed loose skin and I keep getting told I have a noticeable reduction in my face. I am having a few issues that I can't tell if I am ruining my surgery or what but hopefully you guys can help and sorry for the novels worth of words ahead.
Firstly I am worried that I may be stretched out too much. I am VERY picky eater and don't eat vegetables, but before you go on with the lecture let me say: "YES, I have "Re-tried" them all several times to appease people and in various different preparations but no matter what whenever I eat most vegetables the taste literally makes me sick" anyway, I knew this was going to cause some challenges .Once I could eat normal foods my diet was pretty much occasionally scrambled eggs for Breakfast, 2 pieces of grilled chicken for dinner every night and fruit anytime before and after that. Mostly oranges but also apples, banana and the occasional grapes.
Now that the weather has changed grilling enough for most of the week is not as easy so I have had to mix it up. I know it is shameful but a few days during the week I stay at my gf's apt and she has no way to cook in her apt so I try to bring as much "pre-cooked" food from home to microwave but often we have to order out and this is where being a picky eater runs into some problems. It's hard to find any healthy dishes I enjoy with most of the places mostly because most of them are vegetable based or vege heavy. I tried doing grilled chicken from halal place but it is hard to order food for 2 people when 1 person is not on a diet and the other does not eat most of the healthy options. Naturally I have had to get regular non-diet foods like an occasional burger, italian/pizza, chinese rice/soup and mexican. Obviously I am not able to consume the entire portion of whatever I get and it is a bit of a waste of money with all the leftovers not eaten again but I was always taught that moderation was the most important thing no matter what you eat and it has not seemed to interrupt the weight loss this entire time so I thought it was ok but I am often wrong.
I only have this delivery stuff a couple times a week at most and I don't order out the rest of the week when back home but I have noticed lately that no matter what I eat I am able to eat larger portions than I did a few months ago. I am not talking about eating an "overstuffing binge" amount but def a bit more than I could eat a few months ago. For example I ate 2 decent sized chicken breast cutlets tonight with no problem when a few months ago it was a struggle to eat 1 and a 1/2 drumsticks. It seems to be inconsistent too, in other words some days I can only handle a smaller portion and then the next day it could be a larger portion and it will just randomly switch between the 2 all week. This has me worried I have done something wrong to my stomach with my eating. Recently most of my diet has consisted of eating yogurt, I will have a "fruit on the bottom" cup multiple times a day either as a meal or as a snack and other than that I only eat fruit or some "Popcorners" (they are popcorn somehow shaped into a "potato chip" shape) but the nutritional facts state they are not a junk food chip with the bad stuff. OH, I also forgot to mention that even way before my surgery I only drink water. I DO NOT drink any kind of high sugar drinks, carbonated drinks or even anything with caffeine like coffee, soda or tea. I may have a glass of orange juice once in a blue moon but aside from that it's nothing but Water all day every day. Does it sound like I screwed up and ruined this whole thing?
My other issue I have noticed is my hair started coming out in worrying amounts when brushing and in clumps during a shower. I do have long hair and it seems to be getting thin in some spots and much more scalp is showing through if I pull my hair into a ponytail. I never had this issue before and it is scaring me a bit. I take a daily "complete" Multi-Vitamin along with an extra pill of Iron and I know my Protein intake is probably not ideal but I don't think it is low enough to warrant the hair falling out like this. Is this something anyone has experienced?
Lately I have been experiencing some body dismorphia where some days I will look in the mirror and notice my weight loss but some days my head starts to tell me I am either "gaining weight", "not losing anymore weight" or just a general lowering of self esteem and I swear that I start to see these things in the mirror when logic tells me it is not possible. One other thing that has been really messing with my head is the whole loose skin situation. I feel like the loose skin is going to make me look disgusting or undesirable when all is said and done but also it's kind of like "what was the point of losing all the weight if I will only look as bad or worse than I did when I was obese?" It kind of makes me think I will be trading in one type of depression for a new one and still be in the same boat I was before and I really don't want that. I feel like all the positive aspects of the surgery will only be physical in it's results but still leave me in the same low self esteem state of mind I was in before. Any of you run into this? Did you figure out how to get past it?
Thanks in advance and again I apologize for the long post but I just want to get everything out in one shot. I look forward to any replies.