Shontel

I've been thinking a lot about my new self. The outside, because of course, I'm completely the same on the inside. But yesterday something happened that took me by surprise and frankly stopped me in my tracks. My fiance' and I were sitting, talking as we've done hundreds of times before. Some days we are really in tune to each other, and others not, we own a business so mostly these days it's not. But it was one of those days where he was taking countless calls while we were trying to catch up so he wasn't really in tune to me like I was to him. Here is where I'm going with this story. As we visited, I noticed him looking at my arms. (sidenote: I talk with my hands a lot, and my arms are sagging to high heaven right now if ya know what I mean) so as I was talking, he constantly stared at my arms. I noticed him doing it and said, "Do you like the way I look now" He literally paused (ok girls, you know that pause before the answer...sort of ok, what do I need to say or how can I say this without hurting her feelings) He went on to say "of course I do!" However, that second of silence spoke volumes. When we met I was over 200 pounds..and he likes 'thick' women. I wonder now, if I am as attractive to him as I once was...sure I was overweight, but I have always been height weight proportionate. My skin was fat but wasn't sagging off my bones. I guess I'm just having self-doubt today. I mean, its funny, all my life I thought "....if I just lose this weight, I will be so much happier/better/at peace or whatever. The truth is, I am happy, but its not what I expected. I have to come to grips with the fact that I am 42, and my body looks like a 42 year old that has been overweight for 20 plus years and has yo-yo'd the majority of those years, now my body is a reflection of that. No matter how I try to change it, there are permanent stretch marks, excess skin, indentions, scars from multiple surgerys etc that are a part of me now. The realization that the weight did not DEFINE me after all is harsh. I know I'll overcome, but I wonder how those around me will accept me LOOKING so much different. I went to a family event last week. Most everyone there commented how 'skinny' I looked. I wonder if they were saying that in a bad way. I never wanted to lose too much weight. I don't want to look sickly. This is why I haven't changed my avitar pic yet. I am over 200 pounds in that pic, but as vain as it sounds, I think I look younger than 41 in that pic. When I look at myself now, to me, now that the fat is gone from my face, I look OLD. wrinkles that were stretched out from the fat are now clearly visible. THAT is to me, shocking, I have NEVER had that. (big sigh) I guess I'm whining a little. But just feeling a little down, and know I have done the right thing for myself and health, none of that has changed, just a bump along the road in my lifelong journey to be healthy and happy. Thanks for reading!!

So, week two on the couch 25K has been challenging to say the least. The jogs are upped from 1 minute to 1.5 minutes. Now, for someone like me, who hasn't run in better than 20 years, it was tough for me. That being said, I DID IT!! I'm worried about moving over to the 3rd week, as you have to run a segment for 3 minutes (yikes!!) But may try it and if its too much, go back to week 2 till I feel ready. I've been doing all the workouts on my treadmill, but soon want to hit some pavement or trails. Nothing better than sucking in some fresh air and scenery while gettin fit :scared0: I have noticed a change in my stamina. My runs are more thought out, more deliberate. At first, I would just do whatever it took to get through, now I am watching my form more and it feels GREAT. I can feel my body responding to the intensity. My thighs, my butt (no hope for the flatlands, lol) my arms, it feels great. And let me just say, that the energy level is THROUGH THE ROOF!! I have been a walker nearly all my adult life, the energy I feel after an interval run is SO MUCH more than if I'd walked for 30 minutes. I went from low energy to high def energy...woooooo hooooooo!! I got me a new pair of running shoes, and watched countless YouTube videos about running, so I'm pumped to continue the program. I'll let yall know how I do on the 3rd week workout (which I'm trying today) Also for anyone interested, I'm vlogging about all this as well on YouTube, just search my username: scneaux. Stay tuned and thanks for reading/watching :sneaky2:

I realized that I've not been keeping up my blog because I've been doing videos on YouTube alot with my updates. (if interested, I did a 4 month video my user name on YouTube is scneaux) However, I wanted to keep my blog up as well because this is where I began recording my thoughts. At 4 months I've lost 57 pounds. By my calculations, I think I've lost only 5 pounds this month, but am sort of glad to have slowed (trying to keep my hair as long as possible...ha ha) I noticed my hunger is sort of coming back. Not severe by any means. Just a nudge to let me know its time to eat. My favorite snacks are beef jerkey, string cheese and sunflower seeds. Still struggling with ny protien shakes and vitamins. I do take Prevacid still and this past month as everyone knows, I began training for a 5K. I am noticing my body transforming! yay! still got the skin issues, and the going south issues, but noticing some muscle definition which I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE!! One thing I am going to do this weekend is to try on some jean/capris and see what my true size is. Up to now I am still floating around in my 14's and a few 12's. I'm gong to buy at least 1 pair of capris this weekend (mall, watch out! lol) I may do another update this Friday, because its by date my exact 4 months. Stay tuned!! :scared0:

thanks Lynda! I'm glad they are helping ya!!

Lynda, you got great advice. I would also suggest not weighing yourself everyday. It will DRIVE YOU INSANE..lol. Its really easy to get obsessed with the scale. Follow the rules and take all this great advice...You WILL be successful!!

So I dove into the 2nd week of the program on Wednesday...(gasp) I blogged (and vlogged, in case you just can't get enough of me..ha ha) The runs were upped to 1.5 minutes...but I DID it!!! I'm doing the second workout of week 2 today...wish me luck!! Bought me some new running shoes for some motivation! yay!!

I drink socially and have since month one. Tiffy is right, for me, it did burn at first, which limited my intake to a few sips of wine (my favorite) and it WILL hit u hard and fast. I notice that the effects wear off fast too, at least for me. If I indulge, I usually have something easy for me to handle, a daquiri, coconut rum with juice, or a vodka & cranberry juice...I normally just nurse the drink, no more guzzling for me...lol If you are controlling the making of your drink, then you can put a tiny bit of alcohol with a mixer, or better yet, just juice or the mixer, who will know but you? Good Luck!

So, being the private person that I am, I cringed at the thought of ever posting videos for the public to see. Something changed that though. In researching I found some valuable information on YouTube. Personal stories that inspired me. I thought 'I can do this, but who would be interested in my boring life?' After someone found me on YouTube and recognized me from this board (same pic) and asked me some questions about my surgeon (she had the same one) It sort of got me going. I did private video to her, and have done some on my WLS progress and Couch25K progress (and other random things I think about..lol) anywho, if anyone is interested, my name on YouTube is scneaux. Not very exciting videos, but hope to help people have a better understanding of VSG through my personal experience. Guess we'll see how it goes!

I think this is a major issue for all of us. In general in my life, I go in and out of 'exercise mode' I don't do gyms, so its even harder to stay motivated. I'm really in the motivated mode right now, but ya know, that can change in the next few weeks..lol...but I do like the way my body is re-shaping, and how great I feel and the added energy of working out. Good Luck and this place is a great place for support!!

That is SO INSPIRING!!! Way to go girl!! Awesome!!

Really not that fast, 4.0-4.1 mph. But I hope to get faster as I go! I actually vlog about it on YouTube if anyone is interested. My username on YouTube is scneaux, search Couch25K.

that is great advice! Thanks so much!!

Hey Linda, I'm so glad your doing well! I had the worst time my first month or so, but since then its really been a breeze, Good luck and keep us posted!!

Wow, I'm so inspired! I have been a little afraid to schedule anything, just because I didn't want to put that kind of pressure on myself, but I just might now! You go!!

attitudefree- That is similar to the program. I looked ahead, the second week ups jogging to 90 secs, then 2 mins of walking. I think I'm going to repeat the first week, just because I haven't exercised in so long. I have heard in general that interval training really ups calorie & fat burning. I'll take what I can get these days..lol

Lynda-I haven't been advertising them a lot, because I look like crap in all of them, but I'm so glad you thought they were helpful!! by the way you are so beautiful!! Keep me posted please, I'll do the same!!

Itstime- Your Awesome for trying! We are about the same weight! I think what I'm going to do is do week 1 for 2 or 3 weeks until I can get through it without feeling like I'm going to die!! lol The great thing about the human body is that it is SO adaptable. Progressive exercise WILL enable you (all of us) to do more, and feel better. I have exercised off and on my whole life, was an athelete in High School, and am determined to get myself in shape (and shape my body..lol) Lets all keep each other posted!!

I have no problems with Chicken. But as with everything else, it has to be moist. Anything dry doesn't sit well with me. I love chicken cooked in my crock pot. I learned from my lap band, that sauces are key when eating meat. I always always have a type of sauce on any meats I eat. Hope this helps!!

I'd be happy with another 20-30 pounds. I decided I'm just going to follow the rules so to speak and just just see where it gets me, thanks for the encouragement Linda!!

I didn't think I lost any weight this week, but I ended up losing a pound. I am feeling way to good to let that get me down though. I made it through my second workout of the Couch25K program yesterday. whew...I even improved my time and distance a little...YAY!! I'm definitely feeling soreness in my legs but I hope its melting all this flab, so I'll take that anyday..lol The fight of the flab is on!!! So total I've lost 56 pounds in 3.75 pounds! Not as much as others, but I'm really happy with my own progress. Well stay tuned & thanks for reading!!

Good Luck!!

It is so easy to get obsessed with the numbers isn't it? You are so awesome. Its a great thing isn't it, to really feel good about how you are, who you are...I think I will always be watchful of those numbers, but they won't rule my life like they have in the past. I rule my life now, great post and as always, great inspiration!!

I'm so excited for you! This surgery is life changing and I think I can speak for us all when I say that. You can and will lose the weight with this tool. I've lost about 56 pounds in 3.5 months with little or no effort. Others have lost more than that in 3 months. You will love your decision to do this, come back here often and update us!!

I love when someone posts about their ongoing journey. You seem like you have it all together, and a peek into your life is very valuable for those of us behind you in our journeys. I have to keep water in front of me all day to remember, and then I still forget when I get involved in something. Keep going and please continue to keep us all posted!

Jachut-I'm so stoked by your encouragement!! Today will be my second workout, I'm glad you take a day off in between, my legs were talking to me yesterday...lol attitudefree-Not sure, you can go to http://www.c25k.com and read about the whole workout program.