Recidivist

I am 19 months post op and although my new life is wonderful in every way, I find myself a little lost sometimes as I live in a new mental reality. As a fat person, I often hid my personality, thinking that I was not as valuable as others or that I was being judged. In a group, I was withdrawn, shy, and basically tried to be invisible. I would scan a room as soon as I walked in to identify furniture I could fit into and if there were any other large people there, but I was usually the biggest in the room. Now I am a normal weight and many people in my life (like co-workers) never knew me as anything but thin. But I still find myself hiding and shrinking away from social situations, still trying to be invisible, still feeling unworthy and that I don't measure up. To others, this can come off as snooty and stand-offish. I think this is the poisonous effect of obesity. It truly does affect us on very deep levels. It's very hard to reverse decades of shame and self loathing. I was told that I was repulsive and ugly and that people (like my mom) were embarrassed by me. I am struggling to find the "new me" as a person - someone who is confident, happy, and at ease with others. I know it will take time, and I want my psyche to be as transformed as my body. I still feel like a fat caterpillar in a butterfly body. Anyone relate? For those of you down the road, how did you make the mental transformation?

You know you are a bariatric person when you are obsessed with "My 600-pound life."

Dr now is so cool

You know you are a bariatric person when you are obsessed with "My 600-pound life."

You know you are a bariatric person when you are obsessed with "My 600-pound life."

You know you are a bariatric person when you are obsessed with "My 600-pound life."

I brought several books to the hospital but found that I was too exhausted to read them. I mostly just slept.

Mine was almost yellow for quite a while after my surgery, and there were no issues as far as I'm aware. It did get back to normal eventually.

it won't hurt you, but as others have said, it's not very nutritious, and you have a tiny stomach - so you need to be eating nutritionally dense food. Also, for some people, it causes blood sugar spikes and cravings. I never ate it when I was in weight loss phase. I do eat it occasionally in maintenance, but not very much of it at one sitting and not very often.

I don't miss everyone looking at me when I board a plane and thinking, "I hope the fat guy doesn't sit next to me."

I don't miss everyone looking at me when I board a plane and thinking, "I hope the fat guy doesn't sit next to me."

Later this week It will be three years since my sleeve surgery and this is what I've learned. The surgery gave me hope and a jump start to rapid weight loss and better health. That's it. Nothing magical to it, you lose a good portion of your stomach therefore you eat less and you lose weight. I learned that without any work on my part the weight came off rapidly and in eight months I was at my goal weight. Now, here is the most important lesson out of this whole process, ( need to capitalize this) THE HARD WORK IS MAINTAINING THE WEIGHT LOSS. Since April of 2018 I have been struggling daily to maintain that weight loss and to stay at my goal weight. For those of you who have had long term success you are truly the best and you should be proud of your accomplishment. Early July I saw that I had a weight gain of eight pounds. I redoubled my efforts and was able to lose 4 1/2 pounds in three weeks. I am still struggling to lose the other 4 1/2 lbs. So, to date I am 4 1/2 lbs above my goal weight. I don't consider that a good thing. For the first time since my surgery three years ago I am forced to work twice as hard to lose weight rather and to maintain my goal weight . I'm still ahead of the game being so much healthier.
To those who have recently experienced the euphoria of weight loss and better health after surgery. Enjoy it, embrace it and most of all keep in mind that it can be lost if you are not vigilant in your maintenance. I wish everyone the best of health and the best of success in your weight loss journey.

There are no stupid questions--we all wondered the same things before surgery.
The answer, at least according to my surgeon, is that it's a lifetime commitment. It was really difficult for me at first, but now it seems normal not to drink with meals.

Welcome, Chelle.
I will first say that I did feel pretty good before surgery, although my labwork suggested otherwise. I had been obese for so long that I guess I didn't know better. Once I lost all the weight, I realized how "good" really feels!
In answer to your questions:
Taking meds: I did have to crush them for a couple of months and it is disgusting. Unfortunately, that's part of the process. I found that the quickest and easiest way was to simply put the powder on my tongue and wash it down with Water. (I tried them in liquid, in yogurt, etc.--even worse.). After trying various Multivitamins, I found that "soft chews" worked best for me. Even the so-called "chewables" in hard form made me gag.
Water: It is indeed very difficult to get the full amount of water at the beginning, but it gets better over time. Bear in mind that Protein Shakes can count as part of the liquid requirement. Just do the best you can. I had a bottle of water with me all day long and took sips as often as I could.
Liquid and puree stages: Yep, they are boring. I found, however, that I had no appetite whatsoever and had to force myself to get enough Protein every day, so I didn't really care what things tasted like. If you mean "bland" as in not spicy, that is probably best in the beginning. I ate lots of non-fat Greek yogurt at the beginning, and I got really sick of protein shakes. Again, it's all part of the process and you will get through it. I've never heard of anyone having to "start over" after eating the wrong things during the puree stage. Some people talk about a "pouch re-set" when they stop losing weight, but that's more psychological than an actual physical issue.
Good luck! I promise that you will look back in six months and wonder why you hadn't done this sooner!

I always wanted a jawline!

I really regretted having the surgery for more than a month afterwards, and I didn't start feeling somewhat positive about it until several weeks after that. I was just miserable. Now that I'm in maintenance I think it's the best decision I ever made and just wish I had done it sooner. Hang in there!

I'm just like Arabesque--I was a guzzler before surgery and it's frustrating not to be able to do that now. I also have a water bottle with me essentially everywhere I go. I thought that would be awkward, but I've gotten used to it--and it's quite common if you look around. I'm basically drinking small amounts all day, from the time I get up until I go to bed. I do feel thirsty from time to time, but I'm definitely getting the Water I need (based on the color of my urine).

Although I read about other people in our lives not being supportive or downright jealous of us having our surgeries, it sure hurts when it happens to you. I'm especially surprised with how my co-workers are treating me. I'm a happy-go-lucky person who's always willing to lend a hand to people I care about & I am very tenderhearted as well so this is hitting me especially hard.
My co-workers are being rude when asked about covering my shifts while I'm off for surgery. I work at a little library with a small amount of staff and our jobs are really not that stressful so it's not like they are going to have to expend a whole bunch of energy or break a sweat working my shift. A group of co-workers even approached our director expressing "concern" that the surgery is too dangerous and that I shouldn't have it done which really baffled me since no one ever brought that up with me. Now I know that they just don't want to cover for me & are worried I'll be out longer that anticipated. I came in on Monday walking on a cloud because I finally got my surgery date & no one could be bothered to show any enthusiasm at all.
I have a co-worker who I've worked with for 5 years & I considered her to be one of my best friends. I've planned her work bridal shower and baby showers. I went to the hospital to see her first-born. She gripes constantly about her husband & I'm right there supporting her. We've done plenty of stuff together socially as well, so she's not just a work friend. In the past I've asked her for very small favors here & there and she's rarely helped me out but I asked so infrequently that it never really bothered me. I, of course, have helped her happily whenever she needed me. Well, her true colors are shining now that the surgery is approaching. I've been careful not to talk her ear off about the surgery because I can see that being super annoying. Whenever I bring it up now she just grunts in response and goes right back to talking about herself. I've asked her for two small favors in regards to the surgery and she's too inconvenienced to do either one. I am really, really hurt by her actions.
Another friend is acting jealous & responded to the news of my surgery with "I'll be interested to see how it goes for you". I haven't told friends on social media yet and now I'm definitely not going to. This will be a road I walk down with my husband on one side & my mom on the other cheering me on. I'll be just fine and I will succeed in spite of everyone's attitudes towards this huge step in my life. I'm really glad I found this community & I'm really glad you've read this far! Thanks for letting me vent!

I'm just like Arabesque--I was a guzzler before surgery and it's frustrating not to be able to do that now. I also have a water bottle with me essentially everywhere I go. I thought that would be awkward, but I've gotten used to it--and it's quite common if you look around. I'm basically drinking small amounts all day, from the time I get up until I go to bed. I do feel thirsty from time to time, but I'm definitely getting the Water I need (based on the color of my urine).

I always wanted a jawline!

I really regretted having the surgery for more than a month afterwards, and I didn't start feeling somewhat positive about it until several weeks after that. I was just miserable. Now that I'm in maintenance I think it's the best decision I ever made and just wish I had done it sooner. Hang in there!

I had bypass, but the good and bad outcomes should be essentially the same.
For me, it has been almost all good. As Sammi Kat said above, the health benefits have been immeasurable. I am off BP and cholesterol meds, no longer have knee pain or sleep apnea, I sleep better, have more energy, and generally feel better than I have in 20 years. Health and well-being is the reason I had the surgery, and on that front it was definitely worth it. I'm not having the food issues Sammi Kat describes and can eat essentially anything, but in much smaller quantities. I don't feel deprived at all.
On the vanity side, it's nice to look better, fit into normal clothes and not have to worry about being fat when I'm looking for a seat on public transportation. It's also nice not to always sweat and feel hot. (I actually get cold easily now.)
Cons: As you said, loose skin. It's not visible in clothes aside from the loose flesh on my neck, which makes me look older than I used to. I don't look great naked, but I'm 61 and my wonderful spouse is just happy that I'm now healthy and can be active again. One thing I never expected is that it's quite uncomfortable to sit on a hard surface for any length of time without the padding on my butt.
Those minor drawbacks are nothing compared to the tremendous benefits of surgery. I would do it again in a heartbeat!

I really regretted having the surgery for more than a month afterwards, and I didn't start feeling somewhat positive about it until several weeks after that. I was just miserable. Now that I'm in maintenance I think it's the best decision I ever made and just wish I had done it sooner. Hang in there!

My advice would be to maintain a healthy lifestyle and follow the post-op diet plan. Don't go overboard and try to starve yourself or become irrationally obsessed with exercise. Focus on how much you have accomplished and the fact that you are way healthier than you were before!

I had bypass, but the good and bad outcomes should be essentially the same.
For me, it has been almost all good. As Sammi Kat said above, the health benefits have been immeasurable. I am off BP and cholesterol meds, no longer have knee pain or sleep apnea, I sleep better, have more energy, and generally feel better than I have in 20 years. Health and well-being is the reason I had the surgery, and on that front it was definitely worth it. I'm not having the food issues Sammi Kat describes and can eat essentially anything, but in much smaller quantities. I don't feel deprived at all.
On the vanity side, it's nice to look better, fit into normal clothes and not have to worry about being fat when I'm looking for a seat on public transportation. It's also nice not to always sweat and feel hot. (I actually get cold easily now.)
Cons: As you said, loose skin. It's not visible in clothes aside from the loose flesh on my neck, which makes me look older than I used to. I don't look great naked, but I'm 61 and my wonderful spouse is just happy that I'm now healthy and can be active again. One thing I never expected is that it's quite uncomfortable to sit on a hard surface for any length of time without the padding on my butt.
Those minor drawbacks are nothing compared to the tremendous benefits of surgery. I would do it again in a heartbeat!