Recidivist

I understand your frustration. However, 20 pounds is definitely not "gaining like crazy." It's fairly common to gain +/- 20 pounds in the second year after surgery and beyond. Very few of stayed at the low weight we reached in the year after surgery. Your focus now should be to stay more or less where you are without gaining more, and your best bet would be to consult a nutritionist. Your surgeon wouldn't be very relevant at this point in your journey. Many people claim they have "stretched their pouch" and can therefore eat more food, but my surgeon claims that is an urban myth and is essentially impossible. Our restrictions do ease over time and we are able to eat a greater volume and variety of food than we could at first. Also, a "pouch reset" does not shrink your pouch and increase your restriction. It's really just a psychological/motivational tool to get you back on track with healthier eating habits. Personally, I think it's a bit extreme, and you can do the same thing by simply re-focusing and shifting your mindset. However, if it works for you, then go for it.

My surgery was four years ago, and at this point I don't really remember. (Those first few weeks are a blur.). I want to say about a week, give or take a couple of days.

I had one of those installed as well at the end of surgery, and you are the first person I've heard from who is also getting it! I had essentially no pain after surgery, so I assume it worked, although I can't say whether that was directly attributable to the pump. Like you, I was completely freaked out at the idea of removing it myself. However, it turned out not to be a big deal at all. In my case, the nurse was on the phone with me and talked me through it, which helped a great deal in terms of my anxiety.

That requirement started in 2007. I know because I did a two-month stint at the National Passport Center in New Hampshire to help them cope with the huge demand. It is currently taking six to nine weeks to get a new passport. You can visit the Passport Center's website for details on how to apply: https://www.us-passport-service-guide.com/national-passport-center.html

I ate REALLY quickly before surgery, which is one of the reasons I got so big. To be honest, I never ate as slowly as I was supposed to after surgery, but I slowed down significantly. It was partly intentional, and partly because I simply couldn't go as quickly without extreme discomfort. (Pre-surgery, I didn't understand what people meant about food "getting stuck," but I do now.). Even now, I feel a bit sick when I eat too quickly. I've tried to cultivate a habit of "mindful" eating and savoring each bite. It makes eating a much more enjoyable experience and also slows me down. At this point, I feel like I'm eating as quickly as I want.

I worked in an office before and after surgery, with similar treats available most of the time. As Spinoza said above, you won't want to (nor be able to) eat any of those things for a couple of months. It's way more difficult to resist temptation pre-surgery, so you are already doing well! I found that working in an office made it quite easy for me after surgery, because I had a predictable schedule and could plan what/when I would eat every day and stick to that routine. (That was liquids and soft foods at first, which I would bring from home.). By the time I was able to eat those tempting foods, I had developed new habits and no longer craved junk food, sweets in particular. If you do slip up, don't beat yourself up about it. We all do, and you just have put it behind you and move forward.

My nutritionist said the same thing--no restriction on drinking right up to the meal. After four years, I still adhere to that rule. However, my surgeon says that "stretching" the pouch is basically a myth and is extremely rare.

My sister and a very close friend, both of whom were also morbidly obese, were extremely hostile and unsupportive about my decision to have surgery. I interpreted it as their being threatened that I was doing something to take control of my life. My relationship with both of them has suffered as a result. They both continue to say they would never want to give up wine and good food and say that it must be awful for me that I can't enjoy eating. (I actually do enjoy eating now.)

I could take them immediately after surgery, but they ha to crushed--and it was disgusting. I think it was about six weeks before my surgeon said I could start to take them whole.

I was having strong doubts about whether I was doing the right thing right up until surgery. Before going into surgery I had a complete meltdown, started crying hysterically and had to be sedated before even going in. Here I am four years later, thrilled with my results and wishing I had done it years (decades) earlier. The two-week pre-op diet is way harder than the post-op liquid diet (when you won't be hungry at all).

59 years of pre-surgery programming here! I agree with everything Arabesque said above. I think I probably enjoy eating more than I did before, because I do it in a mindful way and savor what I'm eating. I also wanted to say that my tastes have definitely changed. Not only do I not crave sugary foods any more, I actually find overly sweet food disgusting now (including things I used to love). Most of my cravings now are for "good" foods that I should be eating as part of a healthy diet.

My main fear regarding what my body would look like was loose skin. And yes, it's a reality, though it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I have loose skin all over my body, but it was most pronounced on my belly and neck. My stomach seems to look better four years after surgery--or perhaps I've just gotten used to it. I still have a turkey neck and droopy jowls on my face, and they make me look much older. I never thought I would have plastic surgery after weight loose, but I'm now planning a lower face lift and neck lift, since I simply can't hide those areas. I've made peace with the rest of my body. I definitely look better in clothes than without, but it sure beats the embarrassment/shame I felt when I was significantly overweight.

I have dumped on both processed sugar and excess fat, as recently as several months ago when I had a small bowl of ice cream. (I'm four years post-surgery). From what I've read here, I seem to more sensitive to "bad" foods than most people and I dump pretty easily. I don't necessarily consider that a problem, because it keeps me from cheating too much! 😊 I don't seem to have a problem with small amounts of fruit, but I can't overdo it. I use artificial sweetener in coffee, because I can't stand black coffee (even though I know it's not good for me). Avocados and nuts are no problem, but I can't tolerate nut butters. I can also tolerate small amounts of fatty meats, but too much causes a problem. (I still enjoy a slice or two of bacon from time to time.) It's possible to avoid processed sugar entirely, which I try to do. It's not possible to eliminate fat from your diet, but it's not hard to cut down on it considerably. All of this sounded impossible to me pre-surgery, but it has become second nature at this point and I don't even think about it.

Good question, and I've never really thought about that. I'm almost four years since surgery, and at this point my healthy eating habits are essentially second nature. I've completely changed the way I eat and think about food, and I no longer think about how much protein I need every day or about avoiding carbs and sugar. (During the first year after surgery, I couldn't imagine that I would ever get to this point.). The people that knew me when I was fat say that they no longer think of me as that person and are used to me looking the way I do now. Even I am shocked when I see my "before" pictures, and I no longer relate to that person. I'd say that this is not the "new" normal--it's just normal.

Like others have said, I had the same issue and the same worries. I was too skinny and was still losing weight in year two. However, it eventually stopped naturally (without my changing my habits) and I ultimately gained back about 20 pounds, which is a good weight for me. I have been at that weight for more than a year and it is relatively easy to maintain. I would reiterate the advice that you not make any major changes to your routines at this point. Wait and see what happens in the next few months. (Side note: I remember how strange it felt to complain that I was losing too much weight and was too skinny. That is a problem I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams five years ago!)

I learned more from this forum--and got more support--than from my medical team!

Jake, that is so inspiring! I'm also 3.5 years out. While I'm "thin," I'm not fit, and I've decided that 2023 is the year I'm going to get to a gym to increase my core strength, stamina, and endurance. If you can run 33 miles, I can certainly drag myself to a gym several time a week. Thanks for posting!

This may sound extreme, but is there somewhere you could go for the next six months or so, like your parents' house? You don't seem to be getting a great deal of support from your husband, and at this point you need to focus on your needs.

I have always had the same issue. I posted this elsewhere, but I have a rather simple trick that usually works for me. After finishing dinner, I brush and floss my teeth very thoroughly, as I normally would right before bed. It sounds odd, but that generally prevents me from snacking before bed. At the very least, I think twice before eater after brushing my teeth, which gives me time to ask myself whether I really need it.

I'm 3.5 years out and still haven't decided whether I want to do a tummy tuck (as well as a "neck lift" or whatever they can do to eliminate the loose skin hanging below my chin). I'd be interested to hear from any men who have done so and whether they were happy with the results.

I'm not a relationship expert either. However, based on what you've shared, I would guess it's insecurity. When you were obese, perhaps he didn't worry about other men being interested in you, but he could see this as a real possibility now that you've lost so much weight. He may simply need reassurance of your commitment to him. This should be obvious after 20 years, but your circumstances have changed. Even if we know it's true, we all want to hear our partners tell us that they love us and would never leave us!

I have an acquaintance who had type 2 diabetes that resulted in extreme swings in blood sugar levels, making her almost incoherent at times. She qualified for surgery based on that alone, although she was not hugely overweight. (I'm guessing her BMI was similar to yours.) I don't know the science behind it, but the surgery did address her diabetes. It's worth consulting a doctor.

I had rather severe sleep apnea before surgery as well. I had a CPAP as well, but I generally didn't use it because it really bothered me. My apnea has disappeared completely, but I'm afraid I can't say at what point it did--which I realize isn't terribly helpful.

My general response when I'm asked about my weight loss is that I did a year-long medically supervised weight loss program, which is also basically true. The two people who were the most hostile about my decision to undergo surgery were my sister and a close friend, both of whom are quite obese themselves. I don't think it was about protecting me. My guess is that they felt threatened by the fact that I was taking a positive step to improve my life and lose the weight.

I was/am exactly the same way. I told only a very small circle of people about the surgery. However, when an acquaintance with a weight issue asks about it, I feel it's important to let them know about the surgery. What I accomplished is really not possible with diet and exercise alone, and I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking it is.