MeatballsMom

Brandy...let me change the color so you can get off the ANGRY comments........It proves I only use the computer to do research? Hmmm....seems to me that researching my info before I post my comments is a tad more educated than posting Dr. Phil's ga-ga. But hey, what do I know, right? When you dare to post information, especially as you did when attempting to use statistics, it might do you justice to research the material before posting. ie. the info about other countries......hmmmmmm, only 10% of the worlds countries have banned spanking and even some of those countries went as far as to say that the US probably should not ban spanking because our country is waayyyyyyyyy different that theirs. Better yet, posting info from Dr. Phil as though he is a reliable medical doctor with years of field training and his own theories and work to back up his mouth. Riiiiight! But hey, what the heck is their info to research, especially reliable info to research with statistical evidence when we can just turn on the TV and watch Dr. Phil or read his book that other people wrote for him and/or edited the hell out of. PS......hope the blue helps you to stop obsessing about the color and more about the content.

LOL @ gadgetlady. He in fact is nothing short of a bully. For someone whom cannot even keep his own home straight, it would appear that he should not cast stones, no? I am more leary of those whom quote him and live by his words as though they are gospel. Makes one wonder. I should have never gone to college and begun working on my PhD, dummy me...I should have gone to the Dr. Phil school......sat at home and watched Oprah, because she is a super intelligent woman too. It appears I would have both been better off and some how miracuously acquired the ability to read peoples minds and know their emotional status when they do things. Dang, what was I thinking? (please note that this is extreme sarcasm of course)

nice try sweetheart........I was simply contrasting colors so that YOU would understand my responses and the quoting. Just to help you out though, pyschological terms for Red~~~> The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention. Hmmmm........so, are red roses a sign of love or anger? Red=attract attention? Hmmmmmmmmm

Okay, let us clarify one thing--first and foremost: How can anyone state another person state of mind when they are spanking a child? I am pretty sure that no one can attest to a parents state of mind when they are SPANKING not beating their child. My response is to this: "The reality is that, for most parents who spank, they are frustrated and sometimes perplexed at their child's behavior and they just need for the behavior to stop so they can do whatever they feel is more important at that particular time." What is more important? Addressing the child's behavior right then and there is not important? If you were to ask any behavioral psychologist/psychiatrist, they will tell you that the response to a child's behavior, whether good or bad, should be right then and there--generally within 45 seconds to 1 minute. If not, the point of doing either is generally waister for TRUE and immediate results and affectiveness. You can argue all you want about the kind planning and forethought that goes into the spankings you administer, but MOST spankings are not carried out in that manner. That is why a clerk in a store is a bit outraged when they see a parent hit a child. They know that if a parent is angry enough to hit their child in public, there is a good chance that when they have the child in private and they are angry and frustrated, they are likely to be even more physically harmful to the child. That is why we're having this discussion. Not because most people use good judgement when they spank their kids. It is because spankings happen most often when people are angry and frustrated at their child for doing something repeatedly that they've been told not to do. You can justify spanking your child until the day is long, but we all know why we're having this discussion." Honestly, how do you know the parent is angry? Because they are spanking their child? I am quite intrigued an await your answer as I would love to know how you know a parents train of thought and emotional status while spanking their child. I can honestly say that the less than HANDFUL of times I spanked my children, and I classify spanking them on their hand as a spanking, two were in the store and I assure you I was NOT angry. Hate to break it to you, but my son was warned the last time he took something from the store he would get a spanking. Talking and taking things away from him the first time he did it did not work, therefore I was left with this option. For someone who wants to speak about behavioral psychology, the first thing you should remember is that punishment and reward is to be automatic, NOT when you get home after shopping or whatever it is that you are doing BECAUSE it loses its purpose, its value. I can assure you this much, that as far as i know of, my son has never taken anything from anyone (except for his sister) since that day in Toys R Us--that was three years ago. I cannot say for sure it was the spanking, maybe the embarassment of confronting him in the store and making him apologize to the clerk. What I do know is that he has not done it since. I am curious though, how do you know that the clerk is angry and thinking that the parent must be one hell of a "beater" when they are at home? Those are some awesome accusation and assumptions on your part. I know that the clerk at Toys R Us was not shocked I spanked him on the hand. The lady was behind me and again, I dare anyone to tell me how to raise my child. I do not look at my children like property, but rather as my responsaiblity to raise them the best way I know how. I choose not to conform to societies most recent ideological beliefs, or rather what the heck may be PC for the time. I also dare not be that presumptous when I make the statement that ALL children in trouble or in jail were not disciplined appropriately, I know better. There are MANY children in juvenile lock up because they were BEATEN, not spanked. For the comment that children who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive---hmmmmmmmm, was that info taken from Dr. Phil too? LOL......Sorry, but he is a liar, and ass, a bully and a thief. Why a thief? Because he HIGHJACKED ALL of his info from world reknown psychiatrist whom spent their life DOING ACTUAL WORK. All he has done was taken their work, basterdized it so that it would look COOL on TV. I agree, shame on Oprah because he is an idiot. Besides, his life and family is wonderful that he can pass judgements on others? Hmmmm....Who was it that posted something about "they will let anyone write books, including idiots? Hmmmmmm.......Dr. Phil comes to mind. He is like Barack Obama and George Bush, he could not give a speech or write anything unless someone else wrote it for him. I am just dumbfounded that ANYONE would quote Dr. Phil; Why, because he was on Oprah? LOL.....wow, role models and advice coming from the TV--this is what our society is coming too--- how impressive. Please note, so that my words are NOT misconstrued or taken out of context AGAIN, I am not angry as there is nothing on line that would ever make me angry except for child molesters and those whom prey on the elderly. I rather enjoy a good debate. As for the countries that are so awesome because they made spanking against the law----"Because so many parents spank their children and the percentage has remained high over the years, most consider spanking to be a cultural norm in the United States. In fact, according to studies in Britain, Canada, China, Israel, Italy, Kenya, Korea, South Africa, and the West Indies, most parents in most countries around the world spank their children at least occasionally. Finland, Denmark, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Latvia, and Croatia" Now, there Are 195 Countries in the World, ONLY eighteen---10.8%-- have outlawed spanking (According to Thomas Nazario, a law professor at the University of San Francisco, Finland, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Italy, Croatia, Latvia, United Kingdom, Denmark, Israel, Germany, Greece, Portugal, Sweden, Bulgaria, Iceland, Romania, Ukraine, and Hungary have outright bans against corporal punishment of children.). "Several studies have been done in Sweden to attempt to determine the impact of the ban on behavior and attitudes in that country. Some critics of the ban in Sweden point out that Sweden actually showed an increase in the child abuse rate after the law was enacted (e.g., Larzelere and Johnson 1999; Rosellini 1998). Some also suggest that most of the countries that have outlawed spanking are considered permissive in social areas, unlike the United States. As a result, they do not believe the United States should consider a law against corporal punishment." Well...it appears that I have written quite a bit, therefore I will post for now, HOWEVER....please do not be soo presumptous when pointing out a parents state of mind or even how a clerk may think or their assumptions as not a single person on this earth as that ability. If they do, I would love to meet them.

Kat, I could not agree with you more. The verball/psychological abuse never goes away. Again, I do not advocate beating the hell out of children as my father went waaayyyyyyyy overboard with spanking me as a child. I think I have spanked both of my children less than a handful and it was for very major things that talking to them and grounding them just did not work. My mother was very verbally abusive, she and I did not nor do we now get along. It is very sad, to a point, but when your own parent degrades you for nothing more than making herself feel better about herself, you learn even at a young age of 12/13 yrs that one day you can leave and not have to suffer the psychological torment that your own mother bestows on you. I was wrong, because that psychological torture has never gone away. It follows you everwhere as it has somehow engrained itself into your psyche as the type of person you are, even though deep down you pray you are not. I have read too many case studies and listened to too many sessions of adults, namely women, who were verbally abused as children by the very people they call their parents. That even today they have a very hard time looking at themselves as a good person or even thinking they deserve something nice for themselves.

Again, not what I said!!!!!! I am a former POLICE OFFICER, not a jailer. I did not say these juveniles in jail were NOT raised right. I believe what I said was that you could not tell me that not ONE person did not bitch and moan about some child committing a crime and NOT say where the hell are their parents. I hear that a lot, especially when I was a cop. Kids as young as 11 years of age being arrested for major offenses and adults wanting to know where the hell are their parents and why aren't they raising them right. Yes, my son picked up a toy and put it in his pocket at the ripe old age of 6yrs. I discplined him according to how I felt he needed to be disciplined. I do not consult other parents as to how I raise and discipline my children because quite frankly it is none of their business. Again, I do not advocate beating the hell out of children either. Like another post, there is a HUGE difference between spanking a child for discipline and beating the hell out of them. I also said that NOT ALL children need to be physically disciplined, but there are plenty of children whom do. Good for you that your children did not need to be spanked, and I never said anything about beating animals so why that rant was thrown in there, well fruitless!! Again, I did not say that ALL people whom are in prison were not disciplined or beaten. I will have to go back and read my post, but I am pretty sure I did not say that. I belive what I said was again, people argue about where are the parents of these children whom are out committing crimes. That you I bet you could not find me one person who does NOT say that. Again, please do not miscontrue or doctor up what I am saying to help you with your debate. I will try to make my point more clear for you next time so long as you stop cutting and pasting my comments to fit your agenda.:cool2:

Brandy....that is not what I said. I believe what I said was that you need to leave this up to the parent. The snide comments and/or remarks are of course your opinion of the subject, but you cannot tell me that with the criminal element that society is subjected to among the juveniles in this country, that not once does someone NOT ask where in the hell are the parents and why are they not raising their children right. I do NOT advocate beating the hell out of children and also say that spankings should be a last resort, but there are some, in fact many children that firm talking to's and the other lines of punishment just do NOT work. You have the right to raise yoru children as you see fit just like the next parent, but it seems a bit hypocritical for someone to condemn another for their parenting skills if one is NOT PERFECT. Again, not advocating spankings, but they are a form a punishment that for some children are necessary. Also, I do personally do not think for one minute that most parents whom use physical discipline as a tool to help raise their children MINIMALLY look at their children as property either. I know I do not, therefore how presumptous with that comment in a previous posting!

Okay.......I am one of those from the South, Houston, Texas. My father beat the ever living hell out of me, one that the child abuse law should have been designed for. I have tried all means of discipline with my children, whom are 8 & 9 years of age, and sometimes, the spankings are a must. Sometimes trying to sit them down and say don't do it, grounding, taking away "stuff", just does not cut it. I am not saying haul off and beat the child with a branch, shoe, hanger ("Mommy Dearest", for those of you whom have seen the movie you know what I mean), but good grief children now days do not understand the consequences of their own behaviors. As a mother and former police office, I am not necessarily shocked, but just dumbfounded at those whom advocate against spanking as a discipline when the juvenile crime rate, either minor or major crimes, is through the roof. Kids cursing their parents and not adhereing to rules because the consequences are minimal. What, take their ipod away? LOL.......that stops being effective around what, 13yrs of age, because they will either find somethign else to do or, and yes I have seen this, look you in the face and take the ipod and keep listening to it because they know you are not going to do anything about it. Not all children require physical discpline, but there are plenty of children whom talking to and grounding just does not cut it. Here is what I had to say to a lady in Toys R Us a few years back when my son picked up a toy at the register and put it in his pocket, right in front of me. Now, keep in mind that just a few weeks prior he did it at the grocery store with some candy and was verbally discplined right then-and-there along with a long talk in the car on the way home. I told him to take the toy out of his pocket, give it to me, I spanked his hand 3 times and told him to apology to the cashier for stealing from the store. The lady behind me gasped rather loudly when I spanked him on the HAND and said something along the lines of how I should not BEAT my child. Spanked him on the hand is beating? Really? After my son apologized to the cashier, I looked at the lady and explained as calmly as I could the following: Ma'am, the last time I checked this is my child and I am responsible for him, however if you would like, I will keep letting him steal and merely talk to him like I did last month when he did the same thing, and when he turns 13 yrs of age and is breaking into your home and stealing from you or carjacking you at gun point, do NOT come yelling and crying to me that I do not discpline him enough. She looked perplexed, then she apologized and told me she never looked at it that way. Keep in mind, I was still a police office at that time and in uniform. Therefore, not sure if she thought I was saying that as a cop or a mom, either way it was none of her business. I am sure if I were a little less heated, I would have also pointed out that it is the continual stealing of children and the lack of consequences for their behaviors that drive the prices in stores through the roof as well. But, I think I made my point. I do believe there are many peopel whom take this to the extreme, but I do NOT believe it is the governments business to get into the matter of parents discipling their children, within reason. There is a law, at least in Texas, where physical discpline may take place on the bottom or the backs of hands and nothing else, I believe, pending there are no marks left on the child. I am a psychology major working on my PhD and I will say this much-pyschological torment for children whom are physically disciplined within reason is NOT as prevalent as those whom are against pysical discipline like to make it out to be. It is the indivdiuals whom deem it necessary to beat the hell out of their children or beat them on a daily basis that is the problem. I do not think this is the first and foremost way a parent should discipline a child, but rather a means of assisting when all other recourse fails. My only concern are the busy bodies whom have nothing else better to do with their time than to criticize me and others for trying to help our children become more productive citizen as well as ones that the rest of society does not have to support among the outstanding statistical criminal element we have today.

PB...I couldn't agree with you more....maybe he is a little scared, you know, when you lose all of this weight and want to move on with your life. Or, is he typically a pessimistic person? If he typically is this way, chalk it up to his typically negative personality and look him in the face and say "screw you, this is about me for a change". He can either take it or leave it. It seems, most of us women, that we get so wrapped up in our marriages and children that we lose sight of us, who we really are. We have let ourselves go and sucumb to the everyday stressors in our lives that afford us the ability to turn to food as our comforting agent. Our junk food is like someone elses crack, alcohol, heroine, meth, etc. etc. You do what you feel is right for you, not what is right for your husband or kids for a change. You will be surpirsed how much happier you will be knowing you did something for yourself, something that will not only make you feel better about yourself on the outside, but something that your body/health will appreciate you for for years to come. To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying amen to what society tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive~Robert Louis Stevenson

Okay…..so I am officially 3 weeks post op today, May 20, 2008 and am seriously ready to eat a cow . I have been this way since last week and the doc, oh I love him but hell, told me that as long as I am losing weight he is not too concerned about anything. My issues, I am not eating the 4oz that is suggested, but more like 10-12oz, and he said that is fine because I am losing weight so long as I am not eating crap. :sleep: I must confess, I did have 3 Cookies last week although totally drowned in milk, I did eat them and I told him this:thumbdown:. He asked if that was it and I honestly told him yes. I had not even eaten the recommended oatmeal, mushy Cereal, in fact no breads, rice, Pasta, etc. Right now, I want to dive my big ol but into a plate of nothing by carbohydrates or a greasy cheeseburger with some chips and queso, but I have refrained. :eek: Quitting sugar and, well hell the “good foods” (aka: fattening foods) the way I did was like telling a drug addict, alcoholic or smoker to stop cold turkey. I was told my insurance approved me on April 18 and I needed to start my liquid diets because they were scheduling my surgery for April 25, which ended up getting pushed back to April 29, 2008. Now, I am not ungrateful because I appreciate the opportunity to have this surgery, I am sure as much as any of you, but someone please tell me what I can have because right now I want to cave in and eat something that I know I do not need, should not eat and is totally against what this procedure is for. BTW……I have eaten the sugar free jellos and puddings, the sugar free popsicles and the yogurts, but I think it is the bread my body is craving as I have had ZERO of that (except those three cookies). I feel tired, worn out, not really wanting to do anything, which I am thinking is the lack of carbs as my intake is very minimal right now. Any suggestions would be most appreciated!!!!

For those of you in need of a good Protein shake, here is what I have to offer :tt1:: smoothie King has a nutrional supplement called Gladiator Meal Replacement (this comes in chocolate/vanilla/strawberry) Here are the Supplement Facts per TWO Scoops and water---Note that you can mix this with Water and the number will not change, but if you mix with skim milk and add fruit, then of course the number are going to go up: CAlories---180 Fat----0 Cholesterol-----0 Total Carbs----1g Fiber-----0 Sugars----<1g Protein-----45g Sodium------150mg Potassium-----355mg Also----EAS has a Protein Shake called Myoplex Original (purple container) I personally drink only the chocolate and here is the info for this shake (these are already prepared): Colories---300 Total Fat----7g Cholesterol----20mg Sodium---700mg Potassium---850mg Total Carbs----19g Fiber----6g Sugars---2g Protein----42g Please note that this is for a 17oz container, one that would not be drunk all at once. I personally mix mine with skim milk, ice and sometimes either a banana or blueberries and stawberries. Hope this helps!!!!:confused_smile:

Here is their website where you can choose a location near you. See if you can order on line if you do not have one close to you though: Smoothie King

ahhhhhh I did not know there was a low carb myoplex....thanks because although I was happy with the protien content, the carbs were a tad over what I want to consume right now.

Here is what I posted on another board: For those of you in need of a good Protein shake, here is what I have to offer :tt1:: smoothie King has a nutrional supplement called Gladiator Meal Replacement (this comes in chocolate/vanilla/strawberry) Here are the Supplement Facts per TWO Scoops and water---Note that you can mix this with Water and the number will not change, but if you mix with skim milk and add fruit, then of course the number are going to go up: CAlories---180 Fat----0 Cholesterol-----0 Total Carbs----1g Fiber-----0 Sugars----<1g Protein-----45g Sodium------150mg Potassium-----355mg Also----EAS has a Protein Shake called Myoplex Original (purple container) I personally drink only the chocolate and here is the info for this shake (these are already prepared): Colories---300 Total Fat----7g Cholesterol----20mg Sodium---700mg Potassium---850mg Total Carbs----19g Fiber----6g Sugars---2g Protein----42g Please note that this is for a 17oz container, one that would not be drunk all at once. I personally mix mine with skim milk, ice and sometimes either a banana or blueberries and stawberries. Hope this helps!!!!:confused_smile:

Oh.....I have the chocolate and the vanilla low carb high protein shake mixes at home and drink them religiously.....I am not kidding......bread is like crack to me.....sad huh?

I would first ask your doctors office for the letter that shows you were approved. If no letter, they should keep some type of documentation of who they spoke to BCBS and when. If not, I would really question their eithics. Has the doctor been paid? Is it the insurance company that is wanting money from you or the doctor? $40k is not chump change and I would at least seek consulation from someone qualified in this area. It would seem to me that the doctor would NOT have gone through the surgery unless he though the insurance company was going to pay him, or unless you have already paid him in full. Therefore, it sounds like a blunder on the insurance company's part. I just cannot see a doctor performing a surgery without getting paid by you or an insurance company stating they were going to pay for it, in some type of writing or letter. I would first ask them if they received a letter from the insurance company and then go from there.

Well, you are probably in surgery right now, so I hope all went well. Let us know how you are doing when you are able.

BTW...I hate you.......I want a friggin buritto from taco hell.......uggghhhhhh!!!

Sweetheart, do NOT give her money, buy her the food yourself. If you live to far away, send it to a neighbor to buy it for her. Uggghhhhh.........that is like the homeless people here in Houston, and Lord only knows tht our homeless population for exceeds the population of most small towns. I will NEVER give them money, but I will go to a McDonalds or whatever is close and buy them food. I have ZERO problems with doing that, because most of them are either alcoholics or drug addicts and all they are going to do with the $$$ is buy whatever it is they are addicted to. Just do yourself and favor and try every route possible to get her fed WITHOUT sending her the money!!! You will feel so much better knowing that you helped her out without feeding her PROBLEM!!!!

Ahhh thanks for the reply Mandi, but I am wondering if I should even be eating those right now. I actually love the wheat tortillas, but I am under the impression that bread all together should be avoided if possible, at least for now. I also think that I am at a stage right now where if I am given an inch, I will take 10 miles. Meaning: if I am given the opportunity to say eat 1 wheat tortilla, I will want to eat some lasagna, cereal, sandwhich from schlotzky's etc. etc. We will see, I might entertain eating half of one some my body will stop hating me.....LOL

Ladies.....I will scoot over and you can come share my boat....I am three weeks post op as of yesterday and have honestly wanted to eat everythign in sight as early as 2 weeks post op. I was told this is normal, but that we need to make sure we adhere to the diet as this is a time to let are bodies recovery from the surgery. Right, tell that to my body who is pissed because it is carbohydrate deprived. Yes ladies, my body is not happy with me....well, not right now. Like I posted on my blog yesterday, it is like telling an alcoholic, drug addict or smoker to stop cold turkey----it sucks and you feel like you are turning into a, well, bitch sometimes. Okay, moody person for those who may be offended at that word. I have lost 16lbs since my surgery APril 29 and I was only given 1 week notice I was to have surgery, therefore my liquid diet consited of about 7 days pre op. I have not weighed myself since my post op appointment and do not intend to until I go in for my 6 week checkup the first week of June, to which I will be asking for a fill. Hell, demanding one......LOL Do NOT beat youself up as it is not going to help matters, in fact it will only drive you to want to eat more.....Do NOT weigh yourself everyday either, that is only more frustrating and again, giving you another reason to want to find that comforting food you are so accustomed to. I have noticed that whether I am losing weight or not is irrelevant because I can most definitly tell I am losing inches. Just got my butt into a pair of Old Navy jeans, size 16, that three weeks ago I could not even pull over my butt. DO NOT focus on the weight only, but rather on the overall outcome. You will be surprised!! Good luck and again, try to stay positive and I understand about the family thing....I have an 8 & 9 year old who are understanding, but who tell me that I should not eat this and that and this and that as they eat it in front of me. LOL....sometime I would like to kick everyone in the head, including the friggin 100lb hooker (not literally) that I work next to who can eat 5 donuts, three candy bars, a slice of cake and a fat greasy hamburger and LOSE weight. Oh well, here's to will power. huh?!?!?!

Okay…..so I am officially 3 weeks post op today, May 20, 2008 and am seriously ready to eat a cow :thumbs_up:. I have been this way since last week and the doc, oh I love him but hell, told me that as long as I am losing weight he is not too concerned about anything. My issues, I am not eating the 4oz that is suggested, but more like 10-12oz, and he said that is fine because I am losing weight so long as I am not eating crap. :cursing: I must confess, I did have 3 cookies last week although totally drowned in milk, I did eat them and I told him this:thumbdown:. He asked if that was it and I honestly told him yes. I had not even eaten the recommended oatmeal, mushy cereal, in fact no breads, rice, pasta, etc. Right now, I want to dive my big ol but into a plate of nothing by carbohydrates or a greasy cheeseburger with some chips and queso, but I have refrained. :smile2: Quitting sugar and, well hell the “good foods” (aka: fattening foods) the way I did was like telling a drug addict, alcoholic or smoker to stop cold turkey. I was told my insurance approved me on April 18 and I needed to start my liquid diets because they were scheduling my surgery for April 25, which ended up getting pushed back to April 29, 2008. Now, I am not ungrateful because I appreciate the opportunity to have this surgery, I am sure as much as any of you, but someone please tell me what I can have because right now I want to cave in and eat something that I know I do not need, should not eat and is totally against what this procedure is for. BTW……I have eaten the sugar free jellos and puddings, the sugar free popsicles and the yogurts, but I think it is the bread my body is craving as I have had ZERO of that (except those three cookies). I feel tired, worn out, not really wanting to do anything, which I am thinking is the lack of carbs as my intake is very minimal right now. Any suggestions would be most appreciated!!!!

Same here....I remember waking up in teh recovery room wanting to vomit, although could not, and them giving me a shot of nausea medication, they had to give it to me again about 30 minutes later according to the nurse when I actually came to about 2 hours later. I would call the doc as a lot of heaving/vomiting could make the band slip!!!