Get back on your diet and start tracking EVERYTHING.
Put the pity back in the cabinet with those slider foods and pull yourself up and get moving. Clearly it's bothering you... so do something about it.
No one but you is making you eat those foods you know you shouldn't.
No one but you is keeping you in that chair, on that couch or in that bed when you could be out hiking, walking, enjoying the outdoors somewhere.
No one but you is holding you back!
You feel upset and depressed and disgusted. So then make the changes that'll make you feel better!
Only you can work with the surgery. Only you can change your habits. Only you can make you feel better!
SO DO IT!
No more excuses.
No more "tomorrows".
No more self pity or self loathing.
NO MORE WAITING
NO MORE INACTION