AngieBear

I too heard those statistics prior to surgery, and did some heavy research and soul searching prior to going forward. Here are some of the things I learned:

The divorce rate is highest for couples in which the person getting surgery was at a very high weight at the start of the relationship. Otherwise the divorce rate is the same as any other couple.

My takeaway is that sometimes there is a power differential in a relationship. As someone loses weight, they tend to gain confidence and in relationships in which they were submissive prior, they can start to stand their ground more. For the partner used to being in control, this can be an adjustment. Either they adapt or they get more controlling. Of course there is more that goes into it. People, and relationships, are very complex.

For me, I was always confident in my relationship. My partner and I met when I was actually pretty close to the weight I am now (about 30 years ago). The surgery and weight loss hasn’t diminished our relationship, because it was always on equal footing and healthy. Instead, like Catwoman, we are able to do A LOT more together. I don’t feel like I’m holding him back from fun stuff anymore. He’s never been overweight.

Anyhoo, it’s good to be aware of changes that may happen in relationships, but it’s not a done deal, you know? It sounds like you are working towards being more supportive, and joining her rather than trying to control her (get her not to do it). I think it’s a healthy step, to be sure.

Marriage counseling as you go through this time of transition may not be a bad idea.

On 11/21/2019 at 2:47 AM, Healthy_life2 said:

When did you have surgery?

You may want to check with your dietician and hire a sports medicine dietician. Trust the professionals over my two cents 😉

What works for me, may not work for you. I carb load (seven days) and do a pre race and taper. I eat low glycemic carbohydrates. Sweet potatoes, fruits, veggies, oatmeal, whole wheat with my Protein. Hydration NUUN tabs/electrolytes added to my Water in my hydration vest. I add powdered carbs to my Water for calories. I run fasted race day. (I don’t eat products with sugar - example running gels/Gatorade)

these links will give you an idea of how athletes fuel.

https://www.foodcoach.me/eat-runningbiking-weight-loss-surgery/

https://keepmovingweekly.com/2015/06/11/nutrition-for-the-bariatric-athlete-endurance-events/

Running taper:

https://www.teamhotshot.com/blog/tips-taper-race-day/

https://www.runnersworld.com/training/a20072822/marathon-taper/

runners stomach

https://www.bucketlisttummy.com/5-nutrition-tips-to-help-runners-stomach/

This is excellent, especially the second link you referenced. I’ve been struggling, but I think I’m just over anxious to start long distance running again (I used to before surgery). However, I just don’t have the calories to support it right now, so I keep crashing. I have 10 pounds left, then I’ll start focusing on fitness goals more, because I can up my calories.

I think I have also been too all or nothing about this - a 30 minute run a day is just fine right now, until I can build it up.

Anyway, thanks for the helpful links, I’ve been getting frustrated.

I bought this dress a few months ago. I figured the fabric is lightweight enough that I could just belt it when it got too big. Which, it worked pretty well. I’m wearing tall black boots with the dress.

please excuse the work bathroom setting.

4 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

You look taller than usual in this pic...love 'em boots.

Also, is white the best choice to do painting restorations in, LOL?

Ha! White is definitely not the best choice for parts of it. But, today I'm working on stripping off old varnish/linseed oil, so no colors will be used.

I LOVE the bikini on you, @ms.sss It's perfect.

I went with comfy today. I’ll be working on a painting restoration this afternoon, so alone in the basement of an old historic building.

I love the peekaboo dress with the peep toe shoes. It’s perfect.

Exactly! I dunno why, I’m just feeling rebellious about social norms. It’s totally related to shrinking to a “normal” size, though.

I went cross country skiing this weekend. It was magical! The first picture is day one, gorgeous weather, the second is day two, colder, windier, and soggy. It was still gorgeous. I think I have a new hobby!

The last picture is today’s work outfit. I tried to channel my inner Sophie with the fashionable flats. Alas, no sparkle, though 😢

7 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

Busy day, errands, then a casual lunch, then a work dinner

I love all 3, but I think the middle one is my favorite.

Sophie, I LOVE those shoes!!!

I’m in my stripes base layer pants, with fluffy snow boots. My partner laughed at me, but I’m pretty sure the mismatching just makes me look more legit. 😂

I wanna join! I might not make tonight’s, but I’d love to join the fb group and hop in a meeting.

8 hours ago, summerset said:

The winter boots of cause have a thermal sole in it so the feeling of "walking barefoot" is not as extreme as it is e. g. with their ballerinas.

However, when you have (chronic?) plantar fasciitis you'd have to build up slowly. Quite a few people got rid of foot problems when they switched to barefoot walking (or so they claim, hopefully it's not only a marketing lie) but you'd have to strengthen and stretch both the foot and the calves.

Anyway I switched to barefoot/0 mm heel drop during my last year of med school during internship when I had to attend ward rounds and noticed often an aching lower back and/or knees and/or feet as time went on when on ward rounds. Pain went away and is gone since then.

This was my experience. When my plantar fasciitis flare up dimmed, I started working on strengthening my foot and calves. One way was by running in minimals. I had to ease into that, because it uses a lot more of your calf muscles. But it worked, I never had another issue. I’ve been having trouble here lately because I’m not running. Today I cross country ski’d for hours, and my plantar fasciitis issue is making itself heard.

6 hours ago, ms.sss said:

First you look pretty HOT tummy or not.

My initial response is to go with how you feel, and if you are comfortable. If you are going to be self-conscious, then choose something else. We need you to feel awesome for your Very Important Meetings.

With that said, if it were me, I'd go with a a looser dress that drapes over the second curve vs hugs?

P.S. Also don't think there is need to hide the boobs, it's not like you are showing alot of cleavage or anything, and they look awesome (I dont see any asymmetry in height ether...)

I agree with all of this.

58 minutes ago, Sheribear68 said:

LOVE the hair color and wow...... have you lost ANY hair? It looks so full and vibrant.

The outfits you wear are awesome.

Thanks! I've for sure lost hair. It's slowed and is starting to grow back now. My hair was always very thick, so I had extra hairs, but it's thinner than it was.

I got my hair done yesterday, it’s leaning more purple and less pink now. And today’s outfit is cozy leggings and sweater dress. I’m wearing the belt that I think was first worn in here by sillykitty?

Here is yesterday. I went for super stretchy and cozy, it’s cold and wet out.

I love those stripes and palazzos, Arabesque! They look super sharp.

Whoa! That is a helluva story, MarvelGirl25. I’m glad you are okay!

I’d probably go to the salon, if you have a hairdresser you like? The nice thing about hair is that it DOES grow out.

I’m seriously considering shaving it off (or mostly off) at the beginning of summer. I’ve never done that look, but I like it a lot.

You look TINY Sheribear!

My outfit for today. I am interviewing student applicants for a job here, so I went with something light, cheerful, and not too professionally so that they don’t get too nervous. I mean, they are going to be nervous, but no use making it worse.

I really like this dress, I just got it in from ModCloth’s sale. It’s got a tie waist, so it should last me for a while as I (hopefully?) continue to shrink.

I left my head in the picture on the first one because it was too derpy not to. It’s cracking me up. I’m at work, so it’s the funhouse mirror.

1 hour ago, GreenTealael said:

Awww these darn filters! It's actually a milky blush color 😍

But thank you 💚

Even better!

2 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

Making sure clothes still fit 😂 (all I wear these days are compression garments) so I'm patiently waiting for spring 🌷

More blurry photos. 😂

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the white moto jacket!

Yep! Your overall picture is AMAZING, though!

I have some days going up as well, but I can’t bring myself to log those days, even though I know it’s normal and all that. So the stalls are reflected on this image, but not the little bumps up. But my refusal to type them in is the only reason why 😂

On 1/12/2020 at 7:11 AM, Fatboyslim1 said:

Sadly the average person responding to pleas for help about "stalls" do not offer advise or tips. Instead they say things like "I understand you weight the same as you did a month ago, it happened to me too". Or, "a lot of people report that they go up and down for periods of time, etc...."

Heres the problem with that: it's basically contrary to what people are asking for, which is: how can I get back on track?

People do not need excuses to do the same wrong things over and over again. People need encouragement that says things like, "we are human, we slip up and eat too much of the wrong things, and this is what I did to get back on track."

I would bet that every single long term person on this thread who ever encountered a stall for over a week, realizes in retrospect that their "stall" was directly related to their caloric consumption. If that's so, then say it, dont encourage the same behavior in people when they are reaching out for answers.

I get what you are saying, and that you want to be of help. A seemingly inexplicable stall is something that you may not have experienced yet, and hopefully won’t (you are so very recently out of surgery). But they DO happen. Bodies are so so strange.

At my first post-surgery check in with my surgeon, she said that I’d probably be having my first stall soon. I had already had it. She explained that the weight loss after bariatric surgery TENDS to be more like stair steps, not a linear decline. It’s normal. And while, yes, behavior can be a factor in SOME cases, stalls are absolutely a normal part of the process for many if not most people, even when they are doing everything “right”.

You can try to make minor changes, and it may help you feel in control again, which can’t be undestated. Stay confident and faithful to your plan, and it will start up again. I know it’s frustrating. And the temptation to go off plan when in a stall is HUGE (“well, if I’m not losing anyway...”), it’s stressful and easy to lean back into old habits.