Jobber

Thanks Ashash, your encouragement and words are very appreciated by me.

Yes, definitely will ask without "guilting" her into doing so. I don't think it will be a problem, at least I hope not. She's a very logical person, most of the time and she'll listen to others with expertise more than me and my online research. thanks AshMarie!

Sadie, thank you so much for this story, it seems to fit what I'm going through now. I don't even feel comfortable talking about it again with her until we go to the first appointment, then I feel we can both be well informed enough to talk about it logically (and emotionally). I don't think this will cause a major issue to our marriage, nor will I let it. I hope things continue to stay great between you and your husband, this is very encouraging to me. I know she will support whatever I decide, but I want her to be a cheerleader 100% because I don't plan on telling anyone else about this outside of her and my kids. It's nobody else's business and I like to stay private with work acquaintances and any other family because they all love to gossip way too much. And maybe, if she sees this work for me she can decide for herself if its an option for her as well. And if not, I'm in full support of that too. I just want her to be around as long as possible for our kids and me too. Thanks again

This is all very good advice and I'm trying so hard not to have this come off as a selfish move in her eyes, even though it's the total opposite. I'm doing it so I can be around longer for her and the kids. Thanks for all the kind wishes, the next 32 days until my appointment are going to be killer...

My first surgeon appointment is in September. I'm getting very anxious. My wife is a very supportive person, but is also the type that wouldn't even consider something like WLS for herself, let alone a regular Dr. appointment. (Check that, I think she goes every five years or so). Things like this, for her, are more of the "elective" nature despite my own PCP asking me to pursue this. I think I'm afraid that she's going to talk me out of it, but I won't have an inkling of this fact until we both go see the surgeon next month for my appointment. I asked if she would come too, but not for her, GOD NO, the day I tell her that she should consider WLS, I might as well get a shovel and dig my own grave....lol. I have spent the last several days, hours on end, researching almost anything I can find on WLS and I'm pretty convinced that I want to do this if all the stars align, but I think the most difficult hurdle wont be insurance, nutritionist, psych eval, or the surgeon, it will be how my wife feels about this. The problem is that no matter how much time I've put into researching, she will not hear any of it if her mind is set otherwise. Don't get me wrong, our relationship is great, its just stuff like this we don't tend to agree on. To give you an idea, she's quite stubborn in her ways, but at the same time, she suffers from the same thing I do when it comes to trying to lose weight; we get started on a diet and/or exercise plan, then next thing you know we're drying sheets on that elliptical a month later instead of using it.. I'm past the point of wishful thinking anymore and I'm ready for something radical to help kick my butt into a better way of living. Anyone out there have a hard time convincing their SO that this is really worth doing, even after a licensed surgeon said so as well?

The thing that I want to be able to do the most and the thing that might actually make me stick to a pre-op plan is that I really want to ride go-karts with my kids. It was one of the most shameful moments of my life a couple years ago when I took them both and I couldn't tandem ride with my daughter because she was too young to do it herself and I was too large to fit in the car. I had to turn around and walk back past that line of folks just glaring at us.

Thanks J, by the way, love the Punisher skull avatar, very cool. I'm so worried that I'll get to that first appointment and they're going to say things that I really don't want to hear like it's going to be another 6 months before they can do anything. I realize this is part of the process, but I'm scared that in 6 months, it's going to be just another failure in a long line of other attempts to change my ways. Every time, its like, "this time will be different". I really need something that is going to make me stick with whatever i have to get done in order to get the surgery. Not sure what that is yet though.

Dang it! I'm not supposed to tear up at work like this. Then again, I should probably be working instead of browsing this site. Thanks so much Frustr8, what a great story.

I have Dad guilt but it's for the opposite reason. I'm starting this process because I want to see my kids graduate, get married, have kids, etc. I feel guilty that I've been so selfish while slowly killing myself with food and laziness. I'm doing this so I can be a more active, longer living father. Maybe think of it that way?

Thanks Matt, duly noted. That is definitely a big red flag. I appreciate your response.

I am going to meet with a surgeon for the first time in September and he only does Lap Band and VSG type surgeries. I'm sure he will lay it out for me the pros and cons as well as the hours I've already spent looking into both, but I'm curious what the actual patients who have had them see as the pros and cons of both. I have also read the many stories of those who have had the lap band and then had to have the VSG or Bypass done after. In some cases, both. I'm not against the permanence of the VSG, I think, but I guess I want to make up my mind before a medical professional talks me into it one way or another. I know that sounds incredibly stupid.

I read this also, I'm so hoping its true, thanks again

Thanks AEL, I have told myself so many times that I'm going to get better at exercise so I have not one, but now two pieces of gym equipment that now double as bed sheet drying racks; more the latter, unfortunately. I'm hoping the support of this website and the pre-op process itself will help me turn this around.

Thanks Kim, my inner voice keeps telling me that I don't need to try until my first meeting with the surgeon, but my common sense knows better than that. Unfortunately the inner voice wins a lot more times than my common sense does.

Thanks so much for the feedback. I find myself making bad decisions even when I'm not craving an extra snack or something bad in general. This is the part that really scares me, the fact that I don't even have control when I'm not actually hungry or bored, necessarily. I think my brain is just wired this way now.

Ah geez, where to begin. Without divulging my entire story that probably sounds like everyone else's, basically, I've struggled with eating, my weight, my physical activity, diets, depression, etc for the longest time. I'm in my mid-40's and I got the diabetes 2.0 diagnosis after being "pre" for a couple years now. I have scheduled my first surgical consultation in September. I know there's a long road ahead including pre-scheduling dieting, etc. I guess what I'm struggling with is that since the "wheels are in motion" with the whole thing, my food-addicted self is saying that since I'm probably going to get the surgery that it's ok to eat whatever the hell I want and to not even try to help myself prior to even meeting the surgeon. I can't help myself and if something doesn't give soon, I'm going to have to be brought into the first appointment by forklift i think. Any advise before I start this journey? Thanks all, you guys all seem real nice and helpful based on the 100's of posts that I lurked in before deciding to post myself...