Missouri-Lee's Summit

A hug from another Missouri person. Yea!

An article about this guy's case. What a sicko. Never really seemed to take responsibility for his actions. Had an excuse for everything. That probably contributed to his jail time. http://www.mainlinemedianews.com/mainlinetimes/news/lower-merion-weight-loss-doctor-arie-oren-found-guilty-of/article_c395ab72-593c-59cd-8064-46138e0c85dd.html

I think I'm having an especially rough day today. I can't quite put my finger on the source. Maybe the source isn't important. I'm trying my best to be positive, to forgive myself for little things that I could have made better choices about, to remember that I matter as a person too and that my well-being also counts. Sometimes I just need to hear that someone else cares, and that if the person could... they'd reach across this online forum and give me a much-wanted and much-needed big hug. IN NEED OF A HUG ABOUT NOW.. and remember not to crush me, since I'm a smaller person (125lb less) with a less cushioned body. Don't worry about crushing my boobs though, since they have all but disappeared.

So, this guy is probably out of jail by now. Lost his license. A registered sex offender. As it is with cases like this (I have a long history of childhood sexual abuse, including a miscarriage at age 12), the victims' lives are affected forever. Yes, I had many years of therapy including support groups. Yes, I know the shame and blame is with the perpetrators, but that fact doesn't always sink in during intrusive flashbacks or other times of emotional distress. PTSD doesn't just disappear the day the molester is released from prison.

Thanks for the backstory and update, Alex. I was afraid of inserting gratuitous anxiety into whatever is already an emotional time for people considering weight-loss surgery. Unfortunately, scumbags like this exist in every profession but it's particularly egregious when it creeps into a supposedly trusted doctor-patient relationship.

I'm too old and too "done" with trying to be anything other than healthier. My boobs are deflated and saggy to China. My bowels still seem to have very little holding power. I've lost track of the number of times I've left a feces trail to the bathroom or lost my load right on the kitchen floor. It's as if my bowel muscles don't exist or all the rejiggering has shortened my "holding tank". I'd love for someone to explain the anatomical changes with my bowels. After one year, leaking is still a problem. And the smell. It's nothing like I've ever smelled. It's almost like it's not fully processed and comes out before the necessary flora or enzymes have had a chance to break things down. Bleach is a necessary standby. I feel like an incontinent old dog or something. It's humiliating. Should I consider wearing a diaper when I go out? I now keep a big pan under my bed so if I can't get to the bathroom in time (or it's occupied) I have a place to go other than the floor at my feet. It's a feeling like know other. I can relate to other people now, like my mother with dementia, who has her fair share of accidents. The shame I feel is hard to get past. I've started seeing a therapist. Amazingly, she has a history of her own... a mini-bypass sixteen years ago. It's nice to have someone understand my continuing body dysphoria, my bowel leaking, boob disappearance, etc.-- that on top of everything else going on. It's actually the "everything else" that creates the most distress in my life but I try to tell myself that we all have mountains of stress (just different circumstances) and I can get through this and more and be a stronger person for it. Anyway, I'm trying my best. This site is the one place for me to continue venting, even after one year. It's a place of peace and non-judgmental acceptance. I don't know how many times (particularly in the beginning before and right after my surgery) when someone like Matt Z, AlteredRealty, Frust8, GreenTealael, FluffyChix and many others... who came to my rescue with good advice and much-needed empathy. I've needed you all less as time goes by, but when I do need someone... someone is always here. That is a feeling that has no monetary value. This site is invaluable to many of us for so many reasons. Thank you to all who have cared about me or helped me selflessly in big and small ways.

It happened to me, too. Boo-hoo.😪 Two sets of jiggly batwings. Saggy upper arms and freakishly saggy boobs. After four pregnancies and so much milk that I donated gallons to a milk bank... I got nuthin' now. To "celebrate" my amazing new silhouette, I've stopped wearing a bra. I mean, what's the point? And really... I might as well go out and get myself the same training bra I had when I was 11 years old, the one with the little pink rosebud in the middle.

My problem was a bit different. If you read my profile you'll understand that I'm a chronic pain patient (#CPP). https://www.bariatricpal.com/profile/341190-missouri-lees-summit/ This manufactured opioid hysteria has created a nightmare for people who once had a tolerable quality of life. The forced tapering and abandonment of CPPs by doctors is a disgrace. I follow a twitter dialog with other CPPs. Suicides among people forced to live in pain are increasing at an alarming rate. https://twitter.com/DanLairdMD https://twitter.com/ThomasKlineMD https://twitter.com/ravensspirit68 https://twitter.com/reversechapter

I found one of those studies here: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/oct/31/acid-reflux-drug-linked-to-more-than-doubled-risk-of-stomach-cancer-study

Oops. Hit the reply button twice. Why are we unable to delete a newly-written post altogether?

I just reread my initial reply to this thread. Wow, was I riled up. Sort of wish I knew how this all turned out. Does anyone have another story about not speaking up and allowing someone to get away with making them feel small and unprepared?

I have no friends in real life. I was so embarrassed about my weight that I shut people out. Now I find myself, hesitantly, seeking out others who might understand me. I'm hoping this is the first step to feeling better about myself and loving myself. To punish myself for being fat, I wear the same green dress every day, everywhere. I call it my FAT UNIFORM. I hope to retire my uniform on the day of my bypass surgery on 13 June 2018. My dietitian has offered to covert it into a blanket for her dog's bed. She insisted that symbolically I needed to discard my uniform because of what it represents/ed.

We started our journeys at about the same time and shared the same starting weight. You have been such an inspiring and supportive influence on me, AlteredReality. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out.

I finally replaced what I now realize was an unrealistic goal weight. I don't know why I chose 130lbs but it no longer seems right for me. I've given birth four times and have lots of loose skin that I did not have when I was a young, thin thing. My surgeon and I agreed that 150 is more realistic and attainable. I see my surgeon in August. I think those last 30lbs might be my hardest but I'm not going to stress myself out over them. All in all, the pounds have just fallen from me with very little effort. My hair is still thin and I'm practically flat-chested now. I'm okay with it. I'd rather be flat-chested than one of those big inflated parade floats.

I'm approaching my one-year anniversary since my bypass. My life has changed drastically. I have more energy than I every imagined possible. I wear actual clothes (L or XL), and not fat-lady uniforms from the 4X plus-size section. I still have some body dysphoria. It's often hard not to see myself as still FAT. Others instantly see a different person, but I have a harder time. My face is lean, and no longer pasty and puffy. I do have batwings, which are a constant reminder of what was once a much fuller arm. Skin hangs in folds around my legs and thighs. I'm okay with the skin, actually. I've always dressed modestly and I prefer long dresses. The trick is to stop wearing overly baggy clothing and wear instead clothing that is a little more body contouring. All in all, it has been an amazing journey and I would encourage anyone thinking about this procedure to SERIOUSLY consider it. It has changed my life for the better. I'm no longer the lonely, depressed person I was when I started this post. People CAN change, and I'm one of those people now.

I can't remember the last time I weighed myself. The only time I feel comfortable weighing myself is when I believe my bowels are empty.

My life has changed drastically since my surgery almost a year ago. I still suffer from body disphoria in that I still see myself as a fat person. I still look for clothing in the plus size sections. I keep thinking that I'll need a few extra "fat uniforms." Wearing a mere XL is still unfamiliar territory. I still seek out the loose, baggy look with arm holes too big and my garment sliding off my shoulder. I continue to wear long dresses. I have not worn jeans or any style of pants for years. I don't see myself wearing pants again until I reach my goal weight, even then I see myself wearing a long tunic style top to cover my butt and legs. I'm not sure if I view this as modesty or as a continuation of fat-shaming myself. I continue to be proud of myself but this is a little hill that I still have to climb. I'm being patient with myself. I know it takes longer for some people to come to terms with their "new body." The other day someone said to me (rude when I recall it now), "I didn't know that you had a neck."

I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis. Four-five generations of females in my family have had it. Have you ever been tested for antibodies? (Hashimoto's is the most common cause of hypothyroidism is the US.) https://www.thyroid.org/hashimotos-thyroiditis/

💩 happens.

It's been a couple of days since your last post. Are you still having painful constipation? What changes, if any, have helped?

Hypertension is a valid co-morbidity. Sleep apnea is another. Here is UnitedHealthCare's bariatric surgery policies to give you an example: https://www.obesitycoverage.com/united-healthcares-criteria-for-weight-loss-surgery-coverage/

Your problem is nothing to trigger skedaddling as far as I'm concerned. Good on you for creating this topic! Do you take any meds that might be contributing to your constipation? Here, for example, are some meds that trigger constipation: https://www.goodrx.com/blog/the-big-8-constipation-causing-medications/ https://www.medicinenet.com/constipation/article.htm#what_is_constipation Dietwise, you sound like you're doing the right things. Do you have any food allergies by chance?

Which surgery did you have? How much weight did you initially lose before you starting regaining? How do you handle stress? Do you hate exercising? Do you have a bariatric buddy to spend face-to-face time with?

113lbs in 10 months.