Futuresleevie18

On 10/12/2018 at 3:08 AM, Frustr8 said:

Eating alas is the issue, I tried an one-inch chunk of ripe 🍌 Wednesday, a few minutes,to get it in and a hour-and- half urping, burping and vomiting. Not worth it, I am so tired of it all, strained,soups, broths, Protein skakes, Water and no calorie drinks.And my taste buds aren't the same either. When. I was shopping at Wal-Mart I mentioned to my Son I used to buy Lipton Diet citrus green tea at lunchtime, we bought some and I cannot abide the stuff now. Pitched one,in the trash today.
So I get discouraged, all the others that were our surgery twins are far,far ahead. I told,Tomkitten at first I wanted steak, either peas and new potatoes and pearl onion. Now what I would like, teriyaki fried tofu. Take my tofu, drain and dry it off and then saute it in Kikkomon soy sauce , mmaybe throw in some finely sliced green onion and sliced mushrooms, but just the tofu and teriyaki sauce would please me. And what I couldn't eat right away. I can store in my Rubbermaid orTupperware.
And am I lactose intolerant? Don't think So but I have thrown up Greek yogurt and I do cottage every time I have tried it, and I used to eat it all the time pre-surgery,.💦

I'm so sorry it's this bad for you. I think with time you'll be able to have of these foods again. Thankfully I haven't experienced the "dumping" nor vomiting. I try different foods including some of my favorites and haven't had any issues yet. I have noticed the chills though. How are you with that? I get cold very easily.

Wow, congrats on your weight loss! I can totally see why you did it. So our surgery was in the same day?! Cool, so we've lost just about the same amount. I was hoping to lose more than that, but I guess it's good to help with loose skin? But that's wonderful, you're a strong woman and I'm happy you've made the decision. My mom wasn't obese like me, but she had diabetes and ultimately passed from renal failure a few years ago. My sisters, who weren't as heavy as I was have diabetes and though they're 15 and 13 yrs my senior, loved hinting that I'll get it too. Well, I'm super happy that I didn't have it nor any other obesity related health problems beside my ankles. Omg, prior to surgery, walking 5.5 blocks was hell, and now I walk it like it's nobody's business. I am so happy that I had this surgery because I feel like I'm getting my mobility back, slowly, but surely I hope. Thanks for sharing with me! How are you feeling though? How's your eating? Do you have any issues?

27 minutes ago, Frustr8 said:

And after being a bono fide September 5th person, an RNY, and being on Stage 2 and it's liquids all that time, today at 2:10pm I have an Exploratory EGD scheduled , Now NPO for the procedure, accept I might be in 🌵cactus-ville before this is over, but maybe a definite answer why my Precious pouch won't let me move on.😪❤😭

Hi, I didn't really understand your message. Sorry, I'm not familiar with the lingo. RNY, EGD and NPO? Thanks though! I'm between 22 and 23 lbs down. For whatever reason it fluctuates and I've been stalled for the past THREE WEEKS!!! Omg, I'm so disappointed. Good luck to you!

THank you so much! I'll keep at my diet.

3 hours ago, MargoCL said:

As far as your liquids go, you may have to experiment with temperatures. My new pouch changes its mind almost weekly ss to how hot or cold it wants something. Immediately post surgery it was room temp, then it wanted ice cold, back to room temp... there's a pattern here and my best advice is change it up, your body knows best.

Congratulations on a successful recovery, keep up the good work

Hmm, I'll have to try that. So far, I can only drink cold liquids. I eat ice and popsicles. I'll try room temp. To see how my body accepts it. Thanks! Congrats to you as well.

1 hour ago, Jingle123423 said:

I wonder why post-op instructions very so wildly. I was sleeved Sep 5, and I am cleared for cottage cheese, refried Beans, ricotta, oatmeal, certain fruits, chicken and fish.

Wow, really?! When I went for my one week follow-up, the doctor told me I'll be able to eat "mushy" foods in two weeks, but the nurse told me in 30 days. Hmm, it definitely varies. Good to know!

Thanks for the tip! I'll be sure to try it.

Hi guys, after canceling two previous surgery dates out of fear of death and losing my partner, I finally did it! I'm super happy as I'm already 23lbs down in 3wks, but I'm so miserable because I want to eat and I can't!!! lol I'm still in my liquid phase, but I've cheated a few times and thankfully I don't have any nausea or dumping. Water is still hard to swollow even with sugar free mixes, the same goes for Soups. It almost feels like it all gets stuck in my throat and then I have to wait for it to slowly digest. Overall, my scars have healed and I'm super happy with my decision. My bf still thinks it's the easy way out, but I can tell he's enjoying my newly developing body. Thank you for all your support!

5 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

I think you're codependent and in love with an idea of him.... that isn't true.

Don't waste your love on someone who doesn't love you back. His actions prove how he feels about you.

Here's a clue....no one who loves you would make you choose.

Thank you! I am to an extent. I've spent the last seven years of my life with him and he's been there for me through all of my ups and downs, even when he's contributed to my downs, and that is why it hurts me so much.

1 hour ago, BostonWLKC said:

“He's always complained about my weight, so the stress from that didn't help and now I have an excellent chance at success, but I'm getting even more stress. “

Sounds like he hasn’t been very supportive if he “complains” about your weight.

My husband was also not in agreement while I was researching and doing the pre appointments but he respected my desire and reasons for getting healthier. He is super supportive now.

IMO you need to do for you first— any other relationship should respect that

You're so fortunate to have his support! I hope to have that one day. The thing is, he's supported me with decision I've made, but this one thing he just doesn't believe in it. I don't need his approval, but I guess it'll make me feel better knowing that he'll be there. *Sigh*

9 minutes ago, Frustr8 said:

And future Sleevie you will😝 A thought for today(and also to hold for later)
You'll do what you have to do sometimes better than you believe you can.
Hugs & 💕 Frust8

Thank you!!! I believe it, at least I'll try. 😃

3 hours ago, TexasMommy80 said:

I’m sorry you are going through this, but if your boyfriend is using this as a way out, the may have more issues than you are aware of. My boyfriend was very much against mine and had no problem expressing that. He thought it was too risky considering my only issue was severe osteoarthritis (even though I’ve already had a knee replacement at 36). He eventually came around and now fully supports me. He is a body builder and he has been looking up healthy recipes we can both eat when I am able to again. He knows that I want to change up my focus in the gym too, so he is making me a new workout plan. I think in the long run, it’s been good for us.


Age: 37
Height: 5’6
Starting BMI: 37
VSG: 4/16/18
Starting Weight: 241
Surgery Weight: 229
Current Weight: 213 (17 days post op)
GW: 160
MFP: Fit4LifeAR

Thank you for sharing and the advice! That's great that your bf came around and even help with the process!!! That's what my bf thinks as well because my only issue is my swollen ankles. I literally take a car (if he can't drive me) everywhere! I'm in NYC and there's no way I can take PT because my ankles swell up and hurt when I walk for too far and stand for too long. They even swell up when I sit for too long! It's major problem for me and he knows that, but somehow he is convinced that I don't need the surgery. Oh my God, I am so frustrated and undecided. 😒

17 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

Start a file to show him it's right for you. Hey we all are landing hard on you? Sweet Sleevie I could be the worst of all. I am 72,yeah you read that right, and at this late date I'm still growing up. See I was what you could become, I was married 44 years to someone, when I look back , was very emotionally controling. Why did I stay there? My generation was taught you put up with a lot just to keep a man, you're nothing without a man, ooh I'd could tell you until nightfall, but now I'm finally,standing,on my own 2 feet, not easy,when every joint is broken down by arthritis. My parents didn't want me to rush my health, I didn't have surgery, I got married, my husband put,me down for my weight, I didn't stand up to him about,it, I stifeled my heartbreak and kept,on, doing any thing to appease his anger so I could keep that man, and I grew a little heavier, had a daughter, raised up until she started school, goody half the responsability, now b I can have some time for me, lost a little weight, felt a little better about myself, did Mr Perfect notice? He complimented me to others but never to me, I was the fat blob,that should always obey him, asked about surgery, told what good would that do? As since I had be taught not to rock the status quo, I gave in, I was warm in a house, yes I had groceries, as long as I cooked what he wanted when he wanted it things were peaceful. I was such a good robot that when the 2 subsequent children cried I took them somewhere, took them for a walk so their noise wouldn't disturb Mr Perfect, the Great White husband, and I started gaining again, when he told me how ugly I was getting, I just gave in , agreed thinking that would make him love me more. Did it work ? Maybe,but he was still against a surgical change for me. And my arthritis kept on getting worse but I gritted me teeth and went on. And my children grew to young adulthood and then adulthood. Did I leave them or him? No I had promised to stay married to him in the wedding vows and my main duty was to,prep him and all the children happy, my wants got stuffed down and I continued on in my warm sheltered prison. Even when I got a job I was expected to return home promptly, gave my check into,the family coffers and kept my mouth shut, I wasn't out in the cold that way.
Toward the end of my marriage I got a little more independant, having a job gave me a little more fire in my soul. I didn't hardly,mention WLS but I decided I would eventually have it for I felt my bodybstarting to slow down from the years of weight.
The last few months of his life he started a new tactic on me. I couldn't cook right, now the children were mostly grown and not around to hearing him, he could try a few more belittling things. People at work started noticing I wasn't as bouncy and cheery as I once was, they attributed to me approaching retirement age, I didn't admit the unhappiness I got at home. I had started walking for exercise with a friend, I was accursed of having an affair with her. I couldn't keep the house clean, he could ha e helped, wouldn't, not a mans job so I did what I could in between working, decided he didn't feel like driving me back and forth, started using public,transit, asked if he would help me regain a license, I hadn't driven in years. Thought,maybe I drive it there with him in other seat, because I had learners permit , then if he drive the car back I could drive home. Seemed reasonable to me, he didn't think so, why would I want to be so silly and do that? And he started talking more about my ugliness, if weight,was,mentioned it was my fault,i was fat and ugly. Got a pedometer to check , my exercise level was quite adequate. I finally Rationlized maybe he was getting Alzheimers, if so maybe he couldn't help what he was saying. The unhappiness must be all my fault. And he started getting thinner, maybe I wasn't making sure he was getting enough to eat. He was always home, did he fix his own food, nope? Found out later after he would announce he was too tired to drive me, he would go out to eat. But I accepted everything was my fault. Didn't admit problems to anyone, that would admit my imperfections. After pointing out to me that he could control his diet and the diet didn't control him, another dig at me. He offered his ultimate insult,I was so ugly that not even a blind man would touch me, and if I did ever find,one, it would take every dollar in my wallet to pay him, for no intelligent would do it for free.
And still he did this and I meekly accepted it.
Then we lost power during a bad storm in 2012, no cold drinks, he wouldn't drink warm drinks or Water so he basically dehydrated and died on the 4th of July. After he died I started going through his personal papers, turned out his doctor had told him he was in kidney failure, without intervention he would die. Had he told me, the woman who gave up college, sublimated her wishes, her self respect and did her up most to please him for 44 years, 2/3rd of her life?Nope, and suddenly the blinders fell off my eyes. I had given everything up and got little in return. I was basically alone, yes I still had my son, although he was and still,is a comfort, to me I would have to be an adult, yes the self-same person told,she was nothing wihout him to,lean on. Guess what he was wrong then and he's still wrong. I am loved in this world for being,me,not somebody's daughter, somebody's wife, somebody's parent, loved for me and me alone. And like a prisioner wrongly,imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit, I am free! And since I am now freed, I can want and achieve a dream, bariatric surgery, yes it is a late date in my life, but I can still have a few more years to live smaller, fitter and with a greater degree of health. And sad to say, there probably surgeon's that will say,i,am too old, too physically depleted for surgery. So now I have to carry,my own banner, at 20,30,40 even 50 people are happy to March with you on such,a journey. At 72 I am forced to,make my own kind of music, sing my own song, but even then, the sound of my voicecspeaking up still deserves to be heard.
You said he is not supportive of your plans for surgery? Well earlier today I wrote a poem, well I do write poetry, that part of my personality didn't get killed. You'll find it posted under Surgery is it the easy way out? I may be a little proud of my own work but I think,of is pretty good. Go read,it, everyone else reading can too. Then get back to me if you like. I'm almost always within earshot,of my android phone. Your older but wiser friend Frust8

Oh my, Frust8, thank you for sharing your story with me! I am so sorry you had to go through this. It's such a shame when the people we love and care about refuse to show support when it truly counts. I'm happy you've found the strength and courage to do what you needed to do for you. I'm working on gathering my strength again. All the best to you.

Thank you for your warm and heartfelt responses!

He's truly tried his hardest to help me in the past; he's done lots of research as I have, invested in getting me equipments, helped me to make better food choices, devoted time to working out with me, but all of that didn't work. Either my calves or my ankles pain would get in the way and then I'd take a break only to start all over again. This cycle has been going on for just about six years and out of respect, I would try my hardest to do it again, knowing that I couldn't. Then I'd obsess and give up when the numbers on the scale didn't change and I am exhausted! He's always complained about my weight, so the stress from that didn't help and now I have an excellent chance at success, but I'm getting even more stress. He's currently putting a file together to show me that it's the wrong thing to do and although I know it's not true, I'm doubting my decision. I just don't want to be fat anymore...

Hi, I'm also May 14th! I am nervous, scared and excited all at once. Good luck!

Hi all, I just found this website while searching for information on how to cope, when your significant other doesn't approve of your decision. Well, I am very pleased to have found this site.

I've been struggling with my weight all of my life and I've had little successes, but somehow the weight lost, always came back 10-fold and I have had it! My primary physician gave me an initial referral about a year ago, but I didn't use it due to the fact that I wasn't completely sure that it was the best thing for me. My boyfriend also expressed his dislike towards the idea, so I went ahead with life until late last year, when I thought long and hard about putting my obesity in my past. I got another referral around December and I went in for a seminar in January, where I was given my first consultation appointment for two weeks later. I kept my appointment and when I got the chance to meet with the surgeons, I expressed to them that I would like to have my surgery done as soon as possible. I was given an initial surgery date of March 12th, however it got pushed back to April, which was fine and then it got pushed back even further in April for the 16th. Anyway, I kept all of my appointments and was very prepared for my surgery on April 16th, but when the day came, my anxiety rose and all I thought was, "God, I don't want to die," so I did not go. I called, left messages, but was later told that it's ok to not show up, but I should still get in touch with my coordinator, which I ultimately did. I asked to have my surgery at a later date because I wanted to push myself to see if this was really the best option for me. They were very gracious to give me another date in July as I had requested. I was set for July 10th and so I went back to eating regular healthy meals and working out even more. I worked out 5-7 days a week and ate clean. I love weightlifting, so I made it a priority while eating more Proteins, vegetables, Water and Protein Shakes and eliminating dairy, sugar, fried foods, etc. I was incredibly motivated to the point where I snacked on broccoli and humus, even cutting out fruits to stay away from sugars. Then I saw the scale going up and things went awry. During my pre-op liquid phase for my initial surgery date I lost 10lbs and from these pounds lost, I saw a two-pound increase within two weeks. I tried not to stress about it, but it was inevitable this past week when I saw an extra 3lbs on the scale. Unfortunately, I'm on my period and it's definitely the reason why I gained the extra 3lbs, so in the middle of my freakout I decided to go ahead and have the surgery no matter what. I emailed my coordinator and the next day the doctor called me to find out how soon I wanted it done and I told him this month. He then gave me a new surgery date, May 14th. I was happy, but still with concerns because I've never been ill and I have a fear of illness. Living alone doesn't help my fear either. Anyway, I told my boyfriend and things are not the same between us.

My boyfriend thinks that I'm taking the easy way out, that I have zero control, that I am being inconsiderate of him, that I will become ill and regretful and he's also expressed that he wants out of the relationship because he doesn't want someone who's lazy and wants a leg up. I tried explaining to him that it has nothing to do with getting a "leg up" or taking the easy way out, but simply for the peace of mind knowing that I'd add several more years to my life. I understand his concerns and how he's feeling, but his thoughts are so extreme that it's stressing out the both of us. I love him so much and would do almost anything for him, but I respected his views on surgery and refrained from it for many years with the hopes of losing the weight naturally, but instead I gained more weight, so right now it's difficult for me to continue respecting his feelings. I want to lose weight! I want to feel good about myself, more than I already do and I feel like this is my best option, but I am also afraid to lose him. I am stuck between a rock and a wall and I don't know how to get out. Help! How can I make him see that this is what's best for me? How do I choose between my love and my well-being? What would you do in this situation? I'd appreciate any advice you may have and thank you in advance!