kikijay

I am scheduled for VSG surgery in 2 weeks! I’m super excited but I know I’ll be more nervous the closer it gets. Any advice/tips, things you wish you had known are welcome!

On 04/03/2021 at 10:23, alissajs said:

My dad always told me that when you cant stop dwelling on what people say about you, you are letting them live rent free in your head. Well...there was a comment made on Sunday that I cant seem to evict!

My husband and I were visiting my inlaws in another state. We attended the church where my FIL is a preacher. We always attend church with them when we visit. Last visit we made was 2 weeks post op, so I had not lost really anything at that point. This was the first time the people at the church have seen me since my extreme weight loss. A lot of people made comments about how great I looked, and that didnt bother me at all. However, two ladies came up to my husband and I, told me I looked so good, then they turned to my husband and said, "looks like you really made out on that deal!" My husband laughed and said, "Yeah my investment really paid off!" For background, we got married two months before my surgery.

I tried to laugh it off in the moment, but I really had to bite back tears. I have never felt that my husband looked at me any differently at 284 or 140. He himself has said that he only saw me, never my weight. He says he loves me regardless.

Both comments, from the lady AND my husband's reply has been on repeat in my head all week. Who finds that comment appropriate to say to anyone?? I was a catch at my HW and I am no more or less of a catch at my CW. He didnt marry me hoping I would lose weight and look better physically, at least I would certainly HOPE not, seeing as he is overweight himself.

It was inappropriate and hurtful. Normally, I would address my husbands comment with him in private. However, our marriage has been rough (to say the least) lately and I didnt want to start an argument. I know he will tell me that it was a joke, I am being too sensitive and overthinking it. Which...maybe I am but that doesnt make the comments hurt less.

I dont know...I guess i just needed to vent to people that would understand!

So this may have just been a quick reaction that he meant no harm by, but he does need to know how it made you feel in that moment. Marriages should have a safe space to discuss these kinds of feelings without an argument erupting and I’m sorry if you don’t currently have that. You mentioned that he expects you to defend him at all costs and you deserve the same! If he has his own insecurities, he needs to work on that and not let them steal your shine.

On 04/05/2021 at 19:36, A1220M said:

Excited for you! It's nuts looking forward to something like this, isn't it?

Yes! The reality hit me today and Iow-key freaked out lol I’m excited though!

On 04/05/2021 at 10:32, A1220M said:

I'm so interested in how other people's "first visits" are going. I've just completed mine as well and have just a couple of appointments remaining next week before *hopefully* being approved. I know it sounds crazy, but there wasn't nearly as much to go through up front as I thought there would be. After researching, it sounds like my BMI is the reason for that. I'm loving the mental prep for this.

Is there anything special you're doing to prepare?

GOOD LUCK to you!!

I’m also surprised at how quickly things are moving along. I have an endoscopy next week and then a sleep study on the 20th. That’s the last item on my checklist. During my first visit with my surgeon today, he said we will have no problem scheduling me for May! I’m super excited.

I meet my surgeon today! I only have two more items to check off my checklist and then hopefully my approval visit.