CalGuy64

I'm starting to understand that surgery is just a temporary fix. It helps get your weight down which makes exercise so much easier. However, if you don't adopt a healthy lifestyle the weight will eventually soon or later come back.

I surgery weight was just under 280 pounds. If I can make it to 180 pounds I'll be super pleased. But realistically I think its going to be tough for me to get under 200 pounds (at least without plastic surgery to remove a few pounds of skin from my middle). I'm currently 212 pounds and stalls are getting more frequent and longer.

I wasn't hungry at all for about four months. Now if I forget to make my Protein Shakes I get really really hungry. However, it still only takes a relatively small serving to satisfy this hunger.

The stall thing happens over and over. I've lost track of how many times I've stalled since my surgery last September. I'm currently stalled at 212 pounds. With each stall I've tried to up my physical activity and eventually the stall broke.

WLS can really change relationships. My ex-wife had WLS six years ago. Her surgery was very successful (522lbs to 165lbs). Once her weight stabilized she had several reconstructive plastic surgeries. Shortly thereafter she asked for a divorce (I was no longer her best option).

I had my surgery last year and have lost about 115lbs. The way women interact with me has totally changed. This includes my ex-wife who I still have to talk to since we parent our kids jointly.

All this has actually lowered my already problematic estimation of most people.

I make a blender full of Protein Shake every morning. Several powders taste terrible. However, I am fond of Optimum Nutrition's Gold Standard 100% whey and Isopure's Zero Carb. You can get both at GNC and the fist at Trader Joe's too. They're not the cheapest powders but they're not too expensive.

I stalled when I got down to 230 pounds just three months post op. I joined a gym and started weight training. I was weak as a kitten the first couple of weeks but my strength is starting to come back. As I upped my training intensity the stall broke (slowly). I'm now down to 215 pounds and hope to loose another 25 or 30 pound by my anniversary date.

My strength is coming back. Today I did incline dumbbell presses with 45 pound dumbbells -- still less than before but quite a bit better than just two weeks ago. Still can't do squats very well -- I'm doing trap bar deadlifts instead (a great exercise BTW).

On February 20, 2018 at 7:30 AM, Mattymatt said:

@DonRobbie I know that I don't walk in your shoes and that I don't understand the dynamic of your relationship, but your health must come before your wife's desires. If there is one thing that holds universally true it's that your body is the most important possession you'll ever own. It's taken me quite a bit of time to understand that one myself - which is what's bringing me to surgery to finally lose (and hopefully) keep the weight off.

Yes, you have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of others. When I was taking classes to be a lifeguard when I was a teenager they taught us that if you drown no one gets saved.

Glad to see that this seems to be a fairly normal thing at goes away after awhile. But hopefully I can keep at least some of it -- I was a pretty big doormat before.

My wife left me two years ago. One of the reasons I had WLS was because there isn't much demand for 300 pound guys in the dating market. While I still have 30-40 pounds left to lose I'm currently pretty average now size wise (38 inch pants; XL shirt). I updated my dating site photos and I've had some dates. But so far nothing has gone past the initial stages. I had been hoping (perhaps unreasonably) that being thinner would have made dating easier than this.

I haven't been irritable per se -- I'm actually very happy -- just seem to have a short fuse and, more importantly, really amped up reactions.

How physical changes result in psychological changes is actually quite interesting.

I'd been through a whole lot of stuff with my ex-wife too (not as much as HorrorAuthor). I thought that would have meant something. However, you never know how someone is going to act when presented with options they didn't have before. Also, the dynamic of the relationship changes. Before she had WLS we were both fat -- but she was significantly fatter. After her very successful WLS she was normal size and I was still fat. At my son's wedding she overheard a guest comment with surprise "she's with him?" -- for some reason she thought it was a good idea to relate this story to me. Later it made more sense. Seems she started to be embarrassed to be seen with me and worried about what her newfound friends would say.

Anyone else noticing that as your weight goes down your level of aggressiveness goes up? I almost got into a fist fight at an ARCO station in Salinas on Sunday. Without even thinking I was ready to escalate a petty verbal confrontation. Luckily the other guy backed down, got back into his car, and drove away. This would never have happened a year ago. I'm thinking this has to do with increased testosterone levels.

No one expects the surgery to end their marriage and it doesn't happen right away. It took about three years for my ex-wife to succumb to the temptations of her new options.

There is something about having other people around that amps a person up for his/her workout. When you're at the gym you don't want to look like you're slacking. Its a lot easier to be lazy at home.

I'm trying to be as active as possible all the time. Little things can add up. I've taken up walking for as many errands as possible and parking at the very far end of the parking lot when I have to use the car. I also take the stairs all the time (unless I have to go to a really high floor).

19 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

Obesity is heavily correlated with mental health issues. Not saying everyone who is fat has mental health problems....but there's crossover for sure. Many mental health medication contribute to obesity.

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/758035

Its also associated with adverse childhood experiences (which of course can be related to mental health issues). My ex was abused (both physically and sexually) as a child.

After my ex-wife lost her weight her personality totally changed. She became pretty damn narcissistic.

On January 29, 2018 at 1:03 PM, abefroman329 said:

When I talked to my therapist about it prior to surgery, she suggested I keep in mind that my wife was with me at my heaviest and loved me the same as she does now, so I should keep that in mind if I'm considering leaving her for someone who would then leave me if I got back to my heaviest.

...

This logic didn't stop my ex-wife. She lost a total of over 350 pounds (she was over 500 pounds at her heaviest). I sold my house to pay for her multiple plastic surgeries. Once she had her new body she left me for a thinner richer guy. She was shameless about it -- no sign of guilt no feeling bad.

Don't think it really matters which Protein Drink you use so long as its a low/no carb one. Sticking to the liver reduction diet is the key. The weeks before surgery were torture -- I've never been so hungry in my life. I felt a sense of accomplishment though -- I lost 24 pound on the pre-op diet and my surgeon said my liver wasn't fatty at all.

24 minutes ago, Strivingforbetter said:

Congratulations, CalGuy!! That's a wonderful feeling, almost like turning the clock back.

Thanks. It is a bit like turning back the clock. My face looks a lot more like it did back when I was young. Kind of wish I'd done this years ago (although I know today's surgeries are much better).

Bought a new bathing suit today. The one I'd been using was falling off even with the strings drawn as tight as they'd go. Its a size large -- not 3X or 4X -- no Xs at all. I'm psyched about this as I haven't worn anything that didn't have at least one X since the early 80s.

I had surgery one day after the OP. Seems weight loss slows down after three months. I'm not losing as fast as the first three months and I'm experiencing almost weekly stalls. I'll stay the same weight for 4 or 5 days and then lose a couple of pounds and then stall for another 4 or 5 days. Since I have more energy now I've made a concerted effort to up my physical activity.

4 minutes ago, lovemylab13 said:

How are you doing now?

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Pretty good. No complications. A little loose skin. I have lost quite a bit of strength though.

I did it alone too. I live more than 500 miles from the hospital. I rented a hotel room for two weeks down the street from the hospital. I set up the room with everything I'd need the day before my surgery (sucked paying for the room for the days I was in the hospital). After the surgery I spent 10 days alone in my hotel room (until my surgeon OK'd me to drive home). I slept a lot of the time, walked around the adjacent outlet mall, and watched a lot of Law & Order reruns.