MrsGamgee

Whew what an up and down 24 hours it's been...

Yesterday I was pretty confident that I was finally through my first stall (after 3 full weeks!) and I was feeling good about getting 5km of walking in using my Nordic walking poles. 

I also have mastered some of my pills... ursodiol and calcium citrate have become my nemesis, because they are both large-ish pills and they get stuck on the way down and trigger vomiting... three times a day each! Turns out I can split my ursodiol in half, and take two smaller pills to get it down, and I can crush my calcium citrate and take it with a bit of apple sauce. Victory!

But then I did something pretty stupid and tried to eat half a smokie at dinner. I thought it would work because I have had kielbasa successfully, and I was using mustard as a bit of meat lube, as Fluffy calls it. Yeah... not smart. I spent more than three hours dealing with slimies, foamies, and general vomiting. Ugh! It was awful. The only highlight of the evening was that my Roughriders won their game. 

This morning, I was up and out for my walk by 6am, got in my 5km (although I'm feeling it a bit... sore legs), and managed my morning Rxs without issue. Even had a great poop! (who knew I could get so excited about that?) and I was down 1.2lb from yesterday! Woohoo! 

My plan for the day is to take it easy food-wise. Had some greek yoghurt with protein powder for breakfast and am planning on some egg salad for lunch. Giving my poor pouch a break from all the heaving yesterday. Here's hoping to have my first vomit free day in over 3 weeks. 

Yesterday's epiphany... 

With clearance from my pharmacist, I am now crushing my calcium citrate (read: horse pills) and taking them with a bit of unsweetened applesauce. No more pills getting stuck and causing vomiting! If it hadn't been for the wretched calcium citrate, I wouldn't have vomited at all yesterday. Woohoo!

A couple of minor victories this morning...

Not only did the scale move (just a wee bit, but it moved below 216! Hallelujah!) but I also pooped without chemical inducement! I'm not ready to say that I've gotten past the stall, but I have a little hope. 

It's going to be a good day!

It's a little early, but I'm calling today a victory... 3 meals and 2 snacks in and NO VOMITING! No pain! Hallelujah!  

Now if I could just get that !@#$% scale to move! 

Well, long time no see. 

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I should have been expecting the other shoe to drop after having it so easy for the first three weeks post op. I was getting my water and protein easily, had no pain, nausea, or vomiting.

But as soon as the soft foods really started in earnest I started having problems. Pain, foamies, slimeys, vomiting galore. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to it. Something that I ate easily yesterday causes pain and vomiting after the first bite today. Sometimes it's my pills, other times they go down easy. I just don't get it. 

I'm trying to stay positive. I know this is a season in my life, and things will eventually even out. I'm just so tired of being afraid to eat, not knowing what kind of response my body will have. I'm mostly hitting my protein target, thanks in large part to protein shakes (which I hate, but look at as medicine). I missed my water targets by a lot over the weekend, due mostly to feeling awful, which I know is a terrible cycle... throw up, don't feel like drinking anything, get dehydrated, get constipated, feel like crap, repeat. 

The three-week stall is also still here. I thought I had busted through it, but I've been bouncing between 216-219 for the last two and a half weeks, which is a contributing factor to my mood and frustration level. And add in wee-lings who are going crazy with end of the school year insanity, friends with busy schedules who I haven't been able to see in weeks, and I'm an unhappy girl. 

Things will turn around. I know they will. Just not feeling it at this moment. 

Day 5 post-op... didn't sleep great last night, lots of gas pain and it was my first night without using the rx pain meds. I'm tired and feeling rather stupid. My nurse is supposed to call today for a check in, so I'm debating taking a nap now and risk missing her call, or forcing myself to stay awake and pray she calls soon. Also, showering should be considered a workout... just doing the basics used up all my energy. Weight is slowly working its way down. I know that I shouldn't be on the scale yet, but I couldn't resist. I'm down almost 9lb down since surgery. Yay!

T-minus 3 days! Only two more days of Glucerna shakes. Is it wrong that I'm excited to be able to have the sugar free jello and chicken broth on Wednesday? Anything for a change!

After a week of not having a computer, I'm sort of back up and running. They were able to salvage the info off my hard drive and transferred it to my husband's ancient laptop. I don't know how long it will last, but at least I have something to work with for now. Damn I hate being broke all the time.

I'm 8 days away from surgery, and the pre-op liquid diet is going sort of sideways. It's not the diet itself, but rather my hormone induced (read: intense pms) hunger and water retention. I'm constantly hungry, starving really and it feels like if someone were to prick my fingers, they would sprout fountains. 

I've been hitting my 12000 steps per day most days, and getting close others (only missed on 2 days). I'm hopeful that I'll manage to lose the 3 pounds hanging over my head. 

Well, I didn't mean to be away for that long... Went into a bit of a funk due to some stuff going on that's not WLS related and it made me not really want to be communicative.

But I'm feeling a bit better now and the countdown is a lot smaller than it was. 16 days and counting. Day after tomorrow I start phase 2 of my pre-op diet... 5-6 glucerna shakes and 200 calories veggies (no more fruit, no more 500 cal dinner). Hopefully that will get the scale moving again as I've been bouncing within a 3lb range for the past couple of weeks. 

Did make a silly mistake. I donated almost all of my long sleeved t-shirts thinking that I wouldn't need them again until next fall and they'd all need to be replaced anyway. Then we got a spring snow storm and cold snap. 

Need to refocus on my activity levels, get moving again. The last few days I've been a slug. 

The scale still isn't liking me but AF is in full force, so I'm trying to cut myself some slack. The cravings for protein are still hard core, which is frustrating. I've re-upped my activity levels, which I think is contributing to my increased hunger, but I'm trying to stay busy and not think about food too much. The first two weeks of this liquid diet went so smoothly, I should have expected to hit a wall, now I just have to push past it. I can do this... I will be an outlier. 

Had a nice weekend with the family, but didn't get much accomplished. And on top of that I managed to gain a pound and a half over the weekend. Boo. I know that it is most likely water weight as AF is imminent, but it's still frustrating. Also wondering if the Gatorade Zero I had yesterday might be a contributing factor. 

Today is a new day, and I've already walked 3km. Going to shoot for 3 more mini walks today. Need to up my activity. I've set a target of being at 237lb (or lower) on surgery day. That's the lowest I've been in the last 20 years.  

And I'm going to take something for this wretched constipation. 

Okay... day 12 of this pre-op diet. Honestly, it hasn't been terrible. Yes I've been hungry, more hungry than I've been in a long time... but the Glucerna shakes are keeping my blood sugars nice and level now so I'm not feeling the desperation of a sugar low, which was a fear going into this.

I'm not really craving the junk that I thought I would be. I don't want the chips or fast food that I've turned to in the past (I do miss popcorn a bit, but not much).

What is surprising me is the soul-deep craving for protein. I want red meat in the worst way! Steak, jerky, pepperoni sticks, roast beef, lamb... I dream about them! Chicken and fish don't cut it (my one meal a day is supposed to be lean protein). Honestly, the best meal I ate this week was when I made steak fajitas for the family and I loaded up on the steak, a bit of cheese, and a whole lot of cabbage (no tortilla). I feel like I could eat that every day between now and surgery in May. 

Hoping that this is just a phase my body needs to move through as my liver shrinks. 

NSV this morning! I decided to try on a pair of size 16 jeans (from a plus size clothing store, so we all know they're probably closer to a size 18) and THEY FIT WITH ROOM TO SPARE! I haven't fit into these jeans comfortably for about 5 years. Woohoo! I have a serious love-hate relationship with this pre-op diet. 

I've been struggling a little with hunger the last few days. I'm sure that it's mostly the antibiotics, because when I do eat a real meal (dinner time), I get full faster than I used to. My mom used to say that your stomach shrinks when you diet, but I never really believed her because I never experienced it in all my many diets. But this hybrid liquid diet thing is certainly doing its job... down 9 pounds in a week. 

Feeling a bit bummed out today. I know most of it is because I'm feeling gross with this damn UTI and being on antibiotics, but the pre-op diet is kicking my butt and I confess I slipped a little yesterday. Today I was snippy with my husband when he was eating his lunch... those damn smokies just smelled so good. I need to figure out how to manage around my family when they're eating and I can't. Tomorrow is a new day. Hoping that the meds start making me feel a bit better, at least well enough to get outside and walk in the sunshine. 

Had a great appointment today with my RN at the clinic. Lots of paperwork for the surgery... blood work req's, pre-op and post-op protocols for meds, and lots of questions. Good news is that I won't have to do the Opti-fast shakes provided that I keep things going the way they are right now. Yay for saving $$! I see my RN one more time, at the end of the month, and then it's on to surgery! 6 weeks!

Day one of my pre op diet started well, but is beginning to get tougher. I've discovered that I really don't enjoy the strawberry glucerna shakes (blech!!!). And I think my house is going to be super clean by the end of this month because every time I think about eating, I clean something. And I'm going to have to go through all the pages I follow on Facebook and temporarily block or remove all the food related pages. 

Mental note: keep a close eye on my blood glucose. Dr. R suggested that can stop the gliclazide if I start having regular lows, and if today is any indication that will be happening sooner rather than later.