Rainbow_Warrior

When you don't automatically scout out the handicap stall in the bathroom, but find the normal stalls to have adequate and even more than enough room for your needs!
When people ask you to join them on the couch that is already near-full, you look at the space and realize there's no possible way you will fit comfortably, but you do.. with room to spare.
When there is enough room in the airport seats for not only yourself, but your bag as well..
When you get on the plane and there are two inches of seat space on either side of you in coach. What the heck??
Normal bath towels... that's a biggie!
When you just 'fit' into the world without constantly feeling like you stick out.
When you find yourself jogging during your workout for several minutes non-stop -- and it's not easy, but you don't quit, either.
When tight pants don't cut across your belly painfully, but instead dig into your protruding hip bones painfully.
When you don't have to dig to the bottom of the pile of sizes while shopping anymore, but dig from somewhere in the middle.
Shopping literally anywhere I want to and finding clothes that fit every time!
When you don't look up at a long flight of stairs with dread anymore, but excitement.. and no huffing and puffing at the top!
When your skinny friend says she has some pants that doesn't fit her, maybe they will fit you? They're too small for her. And they FIT!
When you walk into Lane Bryant and you get shunned by the same employees that used to faun over you at the entrance every time you walked in.
Two words: Victoria's Secret!
When you walk out of your work shoes on a daily basis.. darn feet getting smaller!
When your boyfriend uses any excuse and every opportunity to pick you up just because he can now.. and to hear me squeal!
When you pray that your clothes shrink while putting them in the dryer, instead of the other way around!
When your knees hurt from constantly having your legs crossed because it feels so glamorous and feminine that you don't want to stop!
When you don't have to take 12 selfies to find a flattering angle.., one and done!
When you realize you never had bad balance, your excess weight just threw you off.

I don't want this to come across as hurtful or negative but you may be awry in your estimation.
No best friend or true friend would 'open' your secrets and personal information to third parties.
That's the mistake people also make when assuming that anyone they speak to or mix with, including social media, is a friend.
If I was in your position, I'd be reassessing any one of my so called "best friends" if they were the sort of person that would open private information up to public scrutiny.

I totally agree with Rainbow_Warrior. Let your surgical team know about the certain staff member and your worries about her knowing. If she breaks HIPPA guidelines, it can be up to a $250,000 fine. You have every right to inform or not inform anyone you wish about WLS. Good luck to you on your journey! You can do this!

I really feel for you!! I am 4 years out from my RNY and for myself...eating most of the time is a chore!! I would rather drink everything. For so many years my life was food. Even when I got married to my bestie Food was what we did. Eating out was our entertainment!! Now that he had his Sleeve food isn't always on his mind either. We really have to be careful because we are both enablers!! And sweets are mine downfall and guess what he buys JUNK!!! I guess what I am trying to say, food more than likely won't be so important as you go on. The Preop and Postop do get boring. But it is a necessary to let us heal. Our bodies have gone thru major rearrangement. Good Luck

Emphasise then, to your surgeon and the practice/hospital manager that you wish ALL your information and procedures to remain private. Point out, if you are concerned, that a certain staff member may need to be reminded of his/her professional discretion.

It sounds like you have been having a problem with "audience selectivity" or "audience resistance".
RULE: Pick or choose VERY CAREFULLY whom you will share your weight loss surgery news with.
As my dad used to say, "Opinions are like arseholes; everybody has them. Some are bog-ugly and off-putting. So, son, when you share something you think is happy, not everyone will be seeing it through your eyes and thoughts"

I don't want this to come across as hurtful or negative but you may be awry in your estimation.
No best friend or true friend would 'open' your secrets and personal information to third parties.
That's the mistake people also make when assuming that anyone they speak to or mix with, including social media, is a friend.
If I was in your position, I'd be reassessing any one of my so called "best friends" if they were the sort of person that would open private information up to public scrutiny.

That seems extreme ... even in context of the 469lbs in your profile.
In the first instance, if I were you, I'd go to the "over 400lbs" sub-group here and discuss their access to surgery and their anecdotal evidence of what to do.

When I first created this topic I ever thought in a million years I would get so many responses and people with so much hope for a better future who were also nervous to share with friends and family and now I'm so glad I did because it's become a place for all of us to be supportive for one another and create a support system

Two of my long-term (female) acquaintances are also preparing for surgery on the advice of their family doctors and the bariatric surgeons they've consulted.
One is fully-supported by spouse and immediate family. The other knows (from many former conversations and opinions) that her husband is dead-set anti-WLS. She's going through a living hell and may have to reassess her whole relationship because he's such a controlling, negative b@$t@rd to her.
I worry vicariously about her.
My wife and I are worried for her long term future/success.

You are NOT alone. You have us!!

If people are interested in getting the surgery they can talk to their doctor. Once you start losing weight and creating a new life you'll get out more and make new friends and won't need to discuss your surgery. I haven't had anyone directly ask if I've had surgery but people have asked how I lost all my weight...but they see me exercising and watching my calories in fitness pal so they see me making an effort to lose weight. I also gave up alcohol so that's a big reason for weight loss - u say I gave up carbs and alcohol and started exercising which will be all true and subsequently lost all my weight.

Agree in the most part.
I come here and read opinions and anecdotes. Most are absorbing and inspiring. However there are some extremists and very strongly held 'outlier' views.
I try to be careful, ingest the thoughts they have and divide by the number of outlying opinions.

My strategy too, Barbzilla.
I'm (largely) keeping it quiet and secret but, ultimately, I won't lie if someone asks directly.

I'm not telling anyone til after the fact because the ignorance and crap talk in my family is unbelievable good luck to you

Agreeing with Polly

This is a pretty 'normal' cover story situation.
I told my boss (at my P/T job) that I have a hernia complication and that it needs "intrusive and painful" investigation.

Agree in the most part.
I come here and read opinions and anecdotes. Most are absorbing and inspiring. However there are some extremists and very strongly held 'outlier' views.
I try to be careful, ingest the thoughts they have and divide by the number of outlying opinions.

Well, here in AUS, nearly every surgeon says stay off fizzy soft-drinks (sodas).
It is one of the clearest problems for people who do poorly with their gastric sleeving.
If I had my life over again, I'd never eat a factory-produced breakfast-cereal or any fizzy soda drink ... not even Coke Zero or Pepsi Max or other 'diet' varieties. These products are just %^&*ing enemies of bodies.
So, for me, my doctor's advice will be heeded ... Water, tea, unsweetened drinks for the future.

We don't have Thanksgiving here in Australia.
Christmas runs onto summer shutdown until mid-January. Christmas Day lunch is a huge "monster" eat-fest in Australia and there's Christmas night dinner with one's other in-laws to follow.
Huge Boxing Day (Dec 26) barbecues are on at every fifth or sixth home to Celebrate the biggest day in Australian sport ... Melbourne International Cricket Test, Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race, the big night-time A-League double-header, etc
New Years Day food events are big too.
Then, on the 26th January, the biggest LAMB consumption day on the calendar ... Australia Day. Parties, barbecues, lunches, community events everywhere.
All this when I'm 2.5 to 3.5 months post surgery.
Saying "I'm just not hungry!" will have people thinking I need to be rushed to hospital emergency care. <GRIN>

I was not ridiculed as such but my (otherwise lovely) father was too free with well-meaning comments and advice every time I saw him.
I just pulled him aside one day in my late thirties and said, "Dad. Enough! I know I'm plump and I do try to control my weight but your constant comments and bits of helpful advice are actually NOT HELPFUL. They feel like nagging and negative reminders every time I see you. I don't want to be angry with you so just stop, please."
That worked fairly well.

I'm telling most family, a few selected friends and just two trusted colleagues.
There has been discussion amongst friends and workmates and, inevitably, many people including some long-term fat/obese people who go on about 'cheating'.
I don't want their negativity and 5h1t. Surgery is my considered choice after over 20 years of losing every dieting battle (about which I used to feel too much shame).
We are, after all, fighting fast food, advertising, mass-produced high-sugar, low-nutrient cr@p and I was too slow off the mark.

25lbs during the first month is in the top 10% of weight loss amounts for sleevers (which means 90% of people lose LESS than that during the first month postop!)
Personally I lost an average amount.. 17lbs.. and I started at 305.. just a bit less than you. You're doing great!

That's one of the things I worry about considering that I've been a big guy for so long getting use to a new body would be hardest part I was telling my wife that the mental aspect is going to be the hardest for me

I think mine was around 1200 to 1800 a day. I looked for my paperwork, but couldn't find it, sorry. I gave up soda, coffee and alcohol and concentrated on Proteins and veggies, I think I drank at least 2 Protein Shakes a day as my Snacks and very minimal carbs. and walked at least 1 mile a day. it was tough, but so I the huge change in lifestyle you are about to do. Please check with your Doctor and Nutritionalist. Best of Luck to you, BELIEVE me when I say that 6 months will fly by! It is all worth it in the end.