brandyII

I always thought it was an interesting paradox: the fatter you get, the harder it is for people to see you. I think that this includes yourself.

It helps to not attach any moral values to weight/size. It's simply a descriptive word, like tall, short, blonde, etc.

The woman who wrote the book I am reading says that overweight people tend to dress in order to blend in and not be noticed. She now wears bright colors and bold outfits in order to be noticed and it has changed her world because she has changed how she views herself.

Have you heard of the Choosing You! program? I was rooting around on the American Psychological Association website today and found this article in Monitor on Psychology magazine:

Monitor on Psychology - One bite at a time

I don't know if there's a book out on it, but I think this psychotherapist has a good approach. It's definitely for those of us that begin to obsess about the foods we can't eat as soon as we hear "diet"!

That was an interesting read. My thing seems to be if I "know" I'm on a diet I'm going to think all day what am I going to eat, when am I going to eat, and in the end I eat too much! I have a warped brain! When I lift the burden of diet from my life I eat when I'm hungry and not too much. I've also added some exercise into my day which I think will help me in working towards a healthier life and hopefully a smaller size if possible which I believe is possible. I'm not going to hate myself in the body I'm in at the moment and not let it rule my life anymore. brandyII:smile:

I hope we have moved on from the tell BrandyII how weak she is thread. After reading all those posts I was so disgusted I just turned off the computer and thought about how self righteous people can be. Telling her to go and knit or make sure she has a great exercise program, or worse yet "make those great choices" is

despicable.

If the people who made those comments could do that themselves they surely would not have needed a band or any WLS.

I belong to a support group for bandsters with about 200 folks, and there are many of us in many shapes and sizes and at different places in our journeys. Our main goal is to be supportive and cheer on the people we have this band bond with.

Never have I heard this type of bashing in all my years banded.

Here's the thing, if you have proper adjustments you will not feel hunger and cravings. Not EVERYONE can get to that point. And the struggle is the same as BEFORE you were banded, get it?? Can you remember how you felt?

But to heap shame on those that have tried everything plus, is just plain ignorant.

Take it from me we have enough shame, guilt, etc. We came here to say how we feel, not needing an "it's ok", but not needed crap like I am giving you tough love either, what a crock of crap.

Why didn't that tough love, knitting, exercising work for you all?

You should be ashamed of kicking someone when they are down. I hope you never find yourself in that spot and have these rotten things written to you.

Give someone a "kick in the butt", are you kidding me? Maybe whoever wrote that should have done that to herself and then she wouldn't have needed WLS??

BrandyII, please go and talk to your band surgeon. Sometimes the placement is off, but it might be hard to get them to admit that.

One of my friends was banded by the Dr. who helped invent the band, and she had to have rebanding, and now is doing beautifully after many years of struggling.

Good Luck (and know you are not alone)

Cookie

Thanks Cookie,

That was very nice of you. I'm not the type of person who responds well to attacks and well who the heck does? We all have a breaking point where we just blow and can't take it anymore.

It takes me a while to get things right and if I'm not getting something right I reach out for feedback and this being the lap band talk forum I found it to be the best place to reach out to others and see if there were others out there who were having similar issues.

Some took it as I was just not exercising enough and eating around the band and others took me as a lap band hater. I found my depression to have a profound influence in my life and tended to use food as a comfort. I had a hard time replacing that comfort with something positive. I also genetically have always been a bit pudgy but the yo yo dieting tended to make me bigger and bigger and so that was not helping. Since the band my diabetes got worse and I ended up with high cholesterol for the first time in my life.

So putting it all together this was not a good mix and I felt like a failure because I went through all of this and ended up more depressed and more unhealthy than I ever have been in my life. There was something keeping me from becoming healthy from the inside out and having been fed negatives about myself all my life and then the fear of more negatives because of my "failure attempt at banding" I felt more like crap and then one day it seemed I was getting it from all ends and POOF I blew, but it also was "knock on wood" a turning point for me to seek out health from the inside out and work my way to a healthier opinion of myself and also in turn have a healthier body and mind.

I think we all come here to help ourselves in one way or another. We need this validation somehow and also by helping others we find a great feeling and it also helps how we relate to ourselves in a positive light. I think some people who tend to write a bit too much about themselves can be seen as annoying to others and feel that an attack is in order. It's not something we can control just how we deal with it is the important thing. If we're attacked here on a thread and don't take it personally then we're doing well!

Anyway I've written way too much on the matter and hope that all do well and find what works for us and thanks to all out there that have helped me in my journey I really, really appreciate it. Only you really know what it's like we have that in common even if we all didn't start out the same or end the same we're all pretty much looking for the band to help us in our journey for health, thanks brandyII.:cursing:

It's really too bad the band doesn't work in our brains. But there is medicine for that. WASa came up with a good explanation. Some of us

have OCD when it comes to food. I know I do.

I guess it's kind of like when someone tells you not to think about purple giraffes and all you think about is purple giraffes.

I know my self esteem has been low ever since I was a pudgy child and even thin it was still low and at the wonderful age of 48 I'm starting to realize the negative affects my poor self esteem has helped me make a lot of bad choices in my life. I've also lucked out in a lot of other aspects but I still have lots of room for improvement.

By taking the focus off my band, off the diet, off the negatives and focusing on making positive changes toward having a better self worth I can only be better off in the long run. As in most people in my family "I think too much", lol and it's got it's good points and bad! brandyII.:cursing:

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I had surgery on Friday, so I was out of the loop. WHy vitriol? I don't think that I was speaking of anyone in particular- just comenting on my own perception of the thread. I agree that this is not as bad as other threads I have read on this board. I was focusing more on my perception that an individual had been very hurt by some (in my perception only) hurtful comments. I also think that I have a perception that debate need not be so agressive and personal always. I am sorry if how I phrased my comments bothered you. They were really not meant to excite more debate but to offers some support from another corner. That was all.

KatW

Hope you're doing well Kat after the surgery and thanks for your support I really appreciate it considering we are fairly new to each other's posts here! brandyII:smile:

lauren...

I think there must have been a lot of Iron or something in my liquid diet because that's when my Constipation problems began, pre-banding. I was on full liquids for 4 weeks with medifast and one week was one meal and medifast. I'm also on antidepressants which also tend to constipate me. So maybe that's why I never had a problem with the metformin. brandyII.

I think since I'm still a banster I'll let the others who have switched bring it up if that's their choice but I don't see why it would be a problem.

Others suggested that book to me also but I had already three on hand to read so I'm going to have to wait on that one let me know what you think, brandyII.

BJean,

Thanks and yes you are awesome with words, "big" words even. Thank God my kids dabble in Latin, lol and are much smarter than their mum!

I think some people think that I'm just not willing to diet or exercise and I want the band to do magic, well I think in the back of my mind I might but still. I've been able to lose weight before but not keep it off, I maybe one of those rare people that just can't but even if I couldn't I needed to know why! And the "why" what I'm still working on.

I've been learning a lot of information on this and it's helping me understand the physiological reasons behind fat in general it's kind of interesting too.

Thanks, you are patient as another poster mentioned but you're also a kind and intelligent person who doesn't attack for attack sake, thanks brandyII.

It's obvious that we love this forum, it's one of the nicest ones I've seen and easy to navigate, I would think that with more people having to get revisions for whatever reason they should make a section for those people who still feel attached to this forum. It's not like they didn't originally have the band so I don't see what the big deal would be. They advertise sleeves etc... right? I so open a new thread for sleeves!!!! What would it hurt? brandyII:thumbup:

BrandyII, I am so glad I stopped here today. You and I have a lot in common but I haven't posted in any of your threads. Last week I decided to embrace my fatness too. I have been struggling with the band and feelling like a failure and hating myself yet again. I decided to start living life to the fullest as a fat person, eat healthy foods, exercise by doing things I love and developing new friendships. I bought myself a bunch of new clothes, joined a fat events group, and I even applied for 5 new jobs!

I also thought the band would restrict my eating and I wouldn't have to "diet", but the only way I lose is by strictly dieting. Then I fail as I have done so many times in the past. I had good restriction at one point, but got something stuck and had all the Fluid removed. I now have 3 ccs in a 10, will get a fill, but will concentrate on loving myself and living life! Keep me posted as to how you are doing! Beth

Thank God, I was starting to feel like I was from the planet Mars or something!!! I'm still reading a great book and actually plan on reading some more on the topic which is not very popular in our society and you won't find a shelf in Borders or Barnes and Noble's on the subject matter but I'm reading "Self Esteem Comes in All Sizes" by Carol A. Johnson, MA, you can still get it in print but it's probably over ten years old but still it's a great read!

I'd really recommend it to you and if you're like me you will really relate right away. I had a different family situation than she had but just being an overweight woman in our society today it's worth everyone's reading time! Really if you haven't already read it yet you'll love it! It's not an easy path and even the author says it's not always easy for her to wake up and feel positive but she knows it's changed her life so much for the better. Could you want any more than that? Take care brandyII.

:thumbup: i didnt even realize i was being rude and i'm sorry i ever asked...sorry -.-

Jesus Christ People, sorry did I swear? Give the kid a break, she was only asking for help if you can help her. She has no credit cards, no debit cards, no way of paying for it, she asked nicely but people weren't getting her drift.

Out of the bagillion of us on Lap Band Talk I think one of us could help the girl out. I remember being 22 and living on my own and it wasn't easy and much harder now and getting surgery on top of it. My ranting is over and that's all I'm going to say on that matter, thank you, brandyII.

I'm starting to notice now that I've been on the Metformin for a few weeks that I'm not as constipated as I was prior to banding so to me it helps because that was a real problem. But not as bad as you've had it, that would not be good!

Wow Dustydog,

Just saw your post and you scared me! I'm glad she's feeling better and the surgeon had her go back in for the fluids and antibiotics and she's doing better now. Keep us informed, brandyII.

froggie you're being random again!!!

Are you talking about the food cheese or the character from the cartoon Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends?

Oh yeah, I am feeling much better now. I was on Lorazepam for a while and found that it puts me into an extremely foul mood. I will cry and cry for hours. I even told them this at the hospital last week. What did they do after that? Gave me Lorazepam. My doctor got wind of it when we got home and gave the hospital "what for" because of it. I was a mess for about 48 hours.

Not sure what set it off. I wish I could isolate the trigger so I could avoid them. So far, no luck.

Which antidepressant do you take? I take Cymbalta and love it. I take it at night before I go to bed.

I was on Cymbalta for a couple years and have just recently switched to Pristiq which is one of those slow release types. So hopefully it will work for me, I took my missed dose but am still having those awful brains sparks, they make you kind of dizzy in a way but you actually feel it in your head too, it's very weird and uncomfortable. Not panic attack uncomfortable!

I'm surprised they'd put you on something that you told them didn't work for you and you had bad side effects on. So dumb!

My daughter hasn't really had them in a while (panic attacks) and she's now on cymbalta too. It was about two years ago when she was having them quite often. I'm trying to remember are you kind of new on cymbalta? I hope they go away for you, I can't believe you still have them but have they been reduced? That could be a good sign. The people I know that have them have stopped so far, so good, knock on wood! My daughter would get them like you did too when they weren't really expected.

Anyway take care and I hope you don't have to go through another episode like that again! brandyII:smile:

OK this is posting, my sister just sent me a clip from a newspaper in Wales where a woman was wearing "vibrating leather panties" and fainted from

"pleasure" in the grocery store and hit her head and when the paramedics got there her panties were still abuzz:w00t:

Is the 19th when you meet with your nutritionist? You've still got a good 5 days. You'll do it you've got youth on your side:thumbup:

I say we stick all the drunk drivers in one town surround it with locked gates and let them kill eachother off :thumbup:

Are you running for dictator froggie?

I'm kind of wondering what made Maincat bring this up in the first place if he had lost a loved one to a drunk driver or something?? Anyone else curious?

I was a "two" tampon, super plus plus one or two pad every hour, my sister was the same way, I suppose it's in the genes, my mom had very bad periods too and ended up with a hysterectomy. Both my sister and I had the ablations and I guess for some women it can stop your period completely which would have been fine by us as we're both done with that part of our life but I guess having a "normal" period is better than a really heavy one! good luck to you brandyII.

I kind of had a feeling you liked frogs, I'm not sure why maybe I'm psychic, you're doing well though, congrats! brandyII:thumbup:

My primary doc took me off my metformin prior to surgery as he thought my diabetes type II would disappear. I was his only lap band patient so he had no clue as to the difference between lap banding and RNY. Anyway my diabetes was worse after surgery than before but I take it only for that. I have PCOS but am past the child bearing phase of my life and to control my heavy periods I had an uterine ablation which I don't think is an option for women who still want to have children. But I was a heavy period person and not a no-period person.

Round and round the block we go just to watch the show. :crying:

Kind of like the other day at my house. I had another stupid panic attack (my meds didn't stop this one at all). Ended up that my son called an ambulance because of the chest pain I get with it and there were sirens everywhere. You can never just get a nice quiet little ambulance around here. Gotta have the ambulance, fire and rescue, and the police AND this lucky time they even sent a fire truck because....well, I am not sure why.

Talk about feeling stupid when they wheel you out. The whole neighborhood and all the strays out there on the sidewalk to see what happened. Oh well, would have been me if it was someone else.

Having everyone stare at me is almost worse than the panic attack itself! :thumbup:

That sucks, but at least you live in a good town for an emergency! My daughter had lorazepam when she was in HS for the panic attacks she'd get during the day. It was a pretty over crowded school and just going into the halls between classes would set them off. Supposedly it worked fairly quickly. Today I forgot my new antidepressant and by 6:00PM I started getting my "brain sparks" like I have when I go off it completely and it was just a few hours late! I thought maybe my new med wasn't working and then I looked in my pill case and I had just forgotten to take it! :smile:

Hope you're feeling better, brandyII!

froggie,

cool ticker:cool: