brandyII

God save the Druids!

I've always have been drawn to color, the best grade I ever got in college was in an art class called color. I think once I was sitting riding in the subway home from work and I was thin then and this woman sitting next to me turned and said, "you are a spring" and I think that's when that color book came about about seasons and what colors they represented. It's weird but I have always been into those colors, Easter egg ones, I love them. But I do notice when I feel self conscience about myself, which is usually during a social situation or going home to see family I tend to wear black and something that is what I consider to be slimming and feel inferior around others because I always feel like the only overweight person in the room! This is something that has been a negative in my life and something I wish to overcome whether I'm thin or not!!:sad::thumbup:

I also think she said that when you walk with confidence and have respect for yourself others will also.:sad:

God save the Queen!

I think a lot of the negativity comes from people feeling that the band is being attacked and they take it as a personal attack on "their life style choice" they've chosen. It's almost like telling them their child is ugly or mean and they're trying to protect their baby cubs! Maybe life style choice isn't the right way to label it but I think you catch my drift.

The woman who wrote the book I am reading says that overweight people tend to dress in order to blend in and not be noticed. She now wears bright colors and bold outfits in order to be noticed and it has changed her world because she has changed how she views herself.

That was an interesting read. My thing seems to be if I "know" I'm on a diet I'm going to think all day what am I going to eat, when am I going to eat, and in the end I eat too much! I have a warped brain! When I lift the burden of diet from my life I eat when I'm hungry and not too much. I've also added some exercise into my day which I think will help me in working towards a healthier life and hopefully a smaller size if possible which I believe is possible. I'm not going to hate myself in the body I'm in at the moment and not let it rule my life anymore. brandyII:smile:

Thanks Cookie, That was very nice of you. I'm not the type of person who responds well to attacks and well who the heck does? We all have a breaking point where we just blow and can't take it anymore. It takes me a while to get things right and if I'm not getting something right I reach out for feedback and this being the lap band talk forum I found it to be the best place to reach out to others and see if there were others out there who were having similar issues. Some took it as I was just not exercising enough and eating around the band and others took me as a lap band hater. I found my depression to have a profound influence in my life and tended to use food as a comfort. I had a hard time replacing that comfort with something positive. I also genetically have always been a bit pudgy but the yo yo dieting tended to make me bigger and bigger and so that was not helping. Since the band my diabetes got worse and I ended up with high cholesterol for the first time in my life. So putting it all together this was not a good mix and I felt like a failure because I went through all of this and ended up more depressed and more unhealthy than I ever have been in my life. There was something keeping me from becoming healthy from the inside out and having been fed negatives about myself all my life and then the fear of more negatives because of my "failure attempt at banding" I felt more like crap and then one day it seemed I was getting it from all ends and POOF I blew, but it also was "knock on wood" a turning point for me to seek out health from the inside out and work my way to a healthier opinion of myself and also in turn have a healthier body and mind. I think we all come here to help ourselves in one way or another. We need this validation somehow and also by helping others we find a great feeling and it also helps how we relate to ourselves in a positive light. I think some people who tend to write a bit too much about themselves can be seen as annoying to others and feel that an attack is in order. It's not something we can control just how we deal with it is the important thing. If we're attacked here on a thread and don't take it personally then we're doing well! Anyway I've written way too much on the matter and hope that all do well and find what works for us and thanks to all out there that have helped me in my journey I really, really appreciate it. Only you really know what it's like we have that in common even if we all didn't start out the same or end the same we're all pretty much looking for the band to help us in our journey for health, thanks brandyII.:cursing:

I guess it's kind of like when someone tells you not to think about purple giraffes and all you think about is purple giraffes. I know my self esteem has been low ever since I was a pudgy child and even thin it was still low and at the wonderful age of 48 I'm starting to realize the negative affects my poor self esteem has helped me make a lot of bad choices in my life. I've also lucked out in a lot of other aspects but I still have lots of room for improvement. By taking the focus off my band, off the diet, off the negatives and focusing on making positive changes toward having a better self worth I can only be better off in the long run. As in most people in my family "I think too much", lol and it's got it's good points and bad! brandyII.:cursing:

Hope you're doing well Kat after the surgery and thanks for your support I really appreciate it considering we are fairly new to each other's posts here! brandyII:smile:

lauren... I think there must have been a lot of Iron or something in my liquid diet because that's when my constipation problems began, pre-banding. I was on full liquids for 4 weeks with medifast and one week was one meal and medifast. I'm also on antidepressants which also tend to constipate me. So maybe that's why I never had a problem with the metformin. brandyII.

I think since I'm still a banster I'll let the others who have switched bring it up if that's their choice but I don't see why it would be a problem.

Others suggested that book to me also but I had already three on hand to read so I'm going to have to wait on that one let me know what you think, brandyII.

BJean, Thanks and yes you are awesome with words, "big" words even. Thank God my kids dabble in Latin, lol and are much smarter than their mum! I think some people think that I'm just not willing to diet or exercise and I want the band to do magic, well I think in the back of my mind I might but still. I've been able to lose weight before but not keep it off, I maybe one of those rare people that just can't but even if I couldn't I needed to know why! And the "why" what I'm still working on. I've been learning a lot of information on this and it's helping me understand the physiological reasons behind fat in general it's kind of interesting too. Thanks, you are patient as another poster mentioned but you're also a kind and intelligent person who doesn't attack for attack sake, thanks brandyII.

It's obvious that we love this forum, it's one of the nicest ones I've seen and easy to navigate, I would think that with more people having to get revisions for whatever reason they should make a section for those people who still feel attached to this forum. It's not like they didn't originally have the band so I don't see what the big deal would be. They advertise sleeves etc... right? I so open a new thread for sleeves!!!! What would it hurt? brandyII:thumbup:

Thank God, I was starting to feel like I was from the planet Mars or something!!! I'm still reading a great book and actually plan on reading some more on the topic which is not very popular in our society and you won't find a shelf in Borders or Barnes and Noble's on the subject matter but I'm reading "Self Esteem Comes in All Sizes" by Carol A. Johnson, MA, you can still get it in print but it's probably over ten years old but still it's a great read! I'd really recommend it to you and if you're like me you will really relate right away. I had a different family situation than she had but just being an overweight woman in our society today it's worth everyone's reading time! Really if you haven't already read it yet you'll love it! It's not an easy path and even the author says it's not always easy for her to wake up and feel positive but she knows it's changed her life so much for the better. Could you want any more than that? Take care brandyII.

I am so right brained!!!!! OK so now we've switched from reps to friends, but I still can't figure out how to request a friend. Do you need an email address? That's what it asks for every time I try to do it. Someone explain to this girl, thanks brandyII.:confused2:

Jesus Christ People, sorry did I swear? Give the kid a break, she was only asking for help if you can help her. She has no credit cards, no debit cards, no way of paying for it, she asked nicely but people weren't getting her drift. Out of the bagillion of us on Lap Band Talk I think one of us could help the girl out. I remember being 22 and living on my own and it wasn't easy and much harder now and getting surgery on top of it. My ranting is over and that's all I'm going to say on that matter, thank you, brandyII.

I'm starting to notice now that I've been on the Metformin for a few weeks that I'm not as constipated as I was prior to banding so to me it helps because that was a real problem. But not as bad as you've had it, that would not be good!

Wow Dustydog, Just saw your post and you scared me! I'm glad she's feeling better and the surgeon had her go back in for the fluids and antibiotics and she's doing better now. Keep us informed, brandyII.

froggie you're being random again!!! Are you talking about the food cheese or the character from the cartoon Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends?

I was on Cymbalta for a couple years and have just recently switched to Pristiq which is one of those slow release types. So hopefully it will work for me, I took my missed dose but am still having those awful brains sparks, they make you kind of dizzy in a way but you actually feel it in your head too, it's very weird and uncomfortable. Not panic attack uncomfortable! I'm surprised they'd put you on something that you told them didn't work for you and you had bad side effects on. So dumb! My daughter hasn't really had them in a while (panic attacks) and she's now on cymbalta too. It was about two years ago when she was having them quite often. I'm trying to remember are you kind of new on cymbalta? I hope they go away for you, I can't believe you still have them but have they been reduced? That could be a good sign. The people I know that have them have stopped so far, so good, knock on wood! My daughter would get them like you did too when they weren't really expected. Anyway take care and I hope you don't have to go through another episode like that again! brandyII:smile:

OK this is posting, my sister just sent me a clip from a newspaper in Wales where a woman was wearing "vibrating leather panties" and fainted from "pleasure" in the grocery store and hit her head and when the paramedics got there her panties were still abuzz:w00t: