brandyII

Just curious but if you were at a good restriction than how did you avoid vomiting or pbing when you overate? Or was the overeating the slider foods? It can be just as hard after the surgery as it was before the surgery for a lot of us but it sounds like you've got your head on straight now and good luck to you. We're all different and when you find what works for you then you can start losing again, good luck brandyII!

I think the forgiveness was for me so that I did not carry around so much anger but the fact that he died two years ago has made my life much easier and his also. He was a tortured soul and unfortunately I was like a sponge. But he wasn't an evil man so maybe why it was easier for me to forgive. Everyone's situation is different, and everyone has to heal differently, it's a very unique and personal situation.

No, but I want to know why I don't get numbed first!

I wish you luck with the band, and hope that you will be very successful with it. You've been dealt a bad hand in the past and hopefully with the support you have now your future will be much brighter, take care brandyII.:biggrin:

Debbi, It sounds like you had a pretty sucky childhood. I hope there are some left out of the 12 that you maybe close to now. I found that because of the chaos my father created in our family the siblings tended to become much closer. He always played us against each other as we were growing up but we bonded anyway especially now that we're older. I'm not saying that we all are perfect or that we all are equally close but it's really helped us to talk about it and share. Maybe it's because I'm the eldest girl after 3 brothers but I wouldn't know what to do without them now. We also tend to hide a lot of our hurt through humor and sarcasm and that maybe the Irish side of the family. I was able to forgive my father's faults because I knew he had a bad childhood and in his own way thought he was doing better than his own father had done. He had also been abused/molested as a boy in the scouts which he told me and no one else had ever believed him. So I guess I couldn't help but feel sorry for him even though I knew I didn't have the type of father a girl should have. I did end up marrying a man who I picked not only for me becaused I loved him but I could see he would make a good father and he has. I don't mean to sound like someone painting such a pretty picture because life is not perfect for me but I have to appreciate the good people in my life now and the good life I do have considering and I hope the same for you. Anyway I wish you luck getting through the pain from your past and hope you can see a brighter light at the end of the tunnel. brandyII.

Serenity55, my father was an alcoholic also and mom died when I was 14 of lung cancer and a brain tumor but was the one who didn't want a "fat" daughter and was made to feel like the black sheep of the family and when I look back at my pics, I wasn't that fat! Plus I was always on the go. I felt relief when she died because the nagging stopped! I guess I kind of felt like responding to you because I was the only one out of the five kids who would move my dad into a safer place because he kept drinking and hitting his head and he was living in a 55+ apartment building at the time. I was the "good" daughter and the only "fat" kid out of 5. I guess I had a hard time dealing with him. But even though I kind of hated flying down and taking care of him and cleaning up his filth because we were trying to move him to an assisted living home I never resented my siblings because I knew he had been a "prick" to them and unless you lived in their shoes you can't judge them. My dad didn't answer his phone one day from the assisted living place as they called every day to check up on him and he had died of a heart attack still clinging to the glass of scotch in his hand as he fell. They had to pry it out of his hand when they found him. I'm glad I wasn't there but was the first to get the phone call and was still in shock but there was also a relief that the pain was over! I actually had put off having the surgery to take care of him two years prior. I'm sure there are still emotional reasons why I still struggle with my lap band, I'm not an alcoholic but brownies and scotch aren't really that distant of a cousin! brandyII. (I was a great daughter huh?lol)

Fifty pounds lost is still fifty pounds lost! I know you're probably scared to have any fill taken out at this point but if you're having trouble swallowing and hoping that starving yourself is the answer I don't think it's the healthiest way to do it. I would really discuss this with your doctor and tell them about your frustration and ask them what they think should be your next step. Being over filled can cause weight gain. I'm not an expert on the actual losing part and I'm sure there are more people out there that can help you with that aspect but I do know that the softer foods "sliders" will not help you lose weight and that the Protein and healthy foods (low carb, high Fiber non-processed foods) are what your body needs and if you're too tight to eat them it's not doing you any good. I think it takes longer for some of us to know where the right spot is and I'm still working on it myself, brandyII.

Wow sounds like your daughter is doing really well. My daughter is about the same weight but is six feet tall so may want to stop around 200 lbs. We were worried this morning because she had vomited some in the sink after her first drink of Water. It was about 6AM and called the service and they said to wait a while and try some warm liquid and she's been fine. It's so different than our surgery and because it's my daughter naturally I worry more because mine was a breeze! Anyway I understand you not wanting her to do it, I felt the same way but I felt my daughter really wanted to go this route and since insurance was covering it still since she's a student I figured it may be her only chance That's great that you went to the support groups with her and all. I guess it's just one more bond between mother and daughter. Congrats on the grandbaby too! thanks for sharing Nancy.

Boo Boo Kitty, I won't comment anymore on the spanking issue, I've stated all I care to about the matter, I will let it die a natural death but am sure the thread will pop up again as they normally do and from now on will try to resist the temptation to make a further posting. I can see that you've had to deal with a difficult situation that a lot of parents deal with these days, I've assisted in classes with children diagnosed with ADD ADHD and so on and also with emotionally disturbed children in elementary schools. I know they can be difficult but we were trained how to deal with them in a classroom situation which of course would never lead to spanking, not in my state at least. This is between you and your child. I do believe in setting limits and in discipline but in a different way. We agree to disagree. I only brought up the term "socialist" because of many comments I got about people coming in and saying no one has the right to tell them how to discipline their children and the State coming in or the Federal Government's involvement. And it appears that when someone believes that spanking should be made illegal it can thought of as a socialist type of view. Take care, brandyII, who is done with this thread, at least for now........

Probably because we've been told for so long and in so many ways that's we're "bad" for being fat!

slimmy120, I see my nurse practitioner this week I'll see what she says about the meds I saw on the program first, thanks for the idea, brandyII.

My psych eval did not delve that deep. It goes hand in hand with being an adult child of an addict, it's normal and I'm sure you can work through those issues. Hey I still question everything and everyone's motives. I guess somethings are hard to change. But I can say that I've been married for over 25 years and lived with 27 years a great guy who I kind of picked because he was a kind man and he's really a great father. It still baffles me because I really didn't know what it was like to see a great father but he really is and my kids are really fortunate. With this surgery you will certainly have a new life and it will still be full of challenges and some wonderful moments. Just make sure you keep up with some type of therapy along the way because it's not always easy dealing with all the new issues you can face with your same head but new body. There maybe an adjustment phase or phases. But you have some wonderful things ahead of you to look forward to and which you deserve!

No probs, you shouldn't have to live in fear, just make sure you have a good support system in place for yourself!!!

I know it's hard. I'm still on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds and they help a lot. I wish I had been on them when I was your age I might have been better off. You deserve a big pat on the back for surviving a hellish life. I guess that's why I wanted to make sure my own kids didn't have to go through the same shit that I went through and why I sometimes can be a bit of a hard ass on people when they talk about kids and I'm there saying no to spanking etc... I didn't want my kids growing up in fear the way I did and still do suffer from. I maybe a bit over zealous too:ohmy: I tend to be more compassionate towards people who grew up with similar chaotic backgrounds because I was taught not to discuss it and keep it in or the secrets etc... and now I can finally express myself and it helps to talk about it and get it out in the open and to advocate for others who suffer as I have or you have. So if you even need someone to talk to I'm here, take care brandyII.

Froggie, You're still young, and sometimes it takes time to get over stuff. My dad just died two years ago and when he died I took a sigh of relief although I loved him because he was my father he caused me many, many years of emotional grief that no one needs in their life. I went through a lot of therapy to help me get through it. I'm a sensitive person, as you can probably tell from my posts. Just remember to get help for yourself, you're worth it. It can be very difficult to get the bad messages out of your head that they've put in there, take care brandyII. One who grew up in an alcoholic household and still feels the aftershocks!

froggi, I'm sorry you grew up in such a shitty household no one deserves that. Mine wasn't perfect but yours made mine sound idealic! brandyII

Still believe in education, maybe a bit idealistic in some people's views but I can dream:closedeyes: of a better kinder world:thumbup:

I liked the song and the video, my daughter saw him in Ireland a year ago.

Okay, we'll agree to disagree on the fact that spanking is abuse but there are those of us to choose other means of disciplining children over spanking. We can use drunk driving as an example. We can also agree that driving under the influence is against the law in the US, whatever the blood alcohol level is over the amount that is permitted. In the US it may different state to state but there are also consistencies. I personally do not know how much is too much for me to drink. I've never been pulled over for a DWI and if I had been drinking would not know if one drink, two drinks, three drinks would send me over the permitted amount. So when I drive I choose not to drink as I would be avoiding breaking any laws or hurting anyone while driving under the influence. Since I was a teenager the laws have become much stricter and I am more compliant when it comes to following those laws. It makes me think before I drive and drink. Now there are those of us who would think before we drove and drank but there are always those of us who choose not to follow the law and will drink and drive and possibly hurt or kill someone. I find it similar with spanking. Which I am singling out and this was a discussion on spanking, not any other form of abuse. That's a whole other topic which I think we can all agree those types of abuse are against the law and are wrong for many, many reasons. If spanking were against the law in the US there would be those that would stop and not spank and use a different means. Possibly there would be an educational type program put in place to educate people on how to discipline their children when the need occurred. An example would be drunk driving and prom night and how they educate the high school kids on not driving and drinking and also the D.A.R.E programs in the elementary schools. So they are reaching out and teaching our children at a young age not for fun but because it's a problem and it's needed. There will always be people who drink and drive even if there is a law but there are those who it will reach and they will think about it as I myself have. If I hadn't learned other methods other than spanking my children I probably would have spanked and not even thought twice about it. There are always those that take it too far but why not educate them now and hopefully they will relate the fact that what they do to their child now can have consequences down the line. Maybe they don't know enough when to stop or how hard to hit and they cross the line just like someone who drinks and drives may not know how much is too many and cross the line and drink too much. In each circumstance someone crosses the line and could possible injure or kill another person. Just something to think about. I think children have the right not to be hit even if it is by a loving parent and I don't believe it makes my view to be a socialist view.

The "adults" who are in prison are able to understand, hopefully, what they are being punished for. Some are animals and I don't think spanking them would work, and we're basically punishing them that way and keeping the rest of us safe from them by putting them in prison. That's a whole different topic, (can o'worms) I'm speaking on behalf of "the children" and those that think they don't cross the line because they don't know how to parent. There need to be laws to protect all children. While you may be the perfect spanker parent there may be other parents who have no idea what they're doing so in order to protect their children you must suffer. Does that make sense. You are "giving" in order for abused children to be protected. There are some pretty stupid people out there who have no idea of what they're doing when it comes to parenting. They don't all sit their kids down and discuss what they did wrong before a little tap and it's those kids that need protection and I don't know if there is enough manpower to go through each case on a child to child basis. It's for the 2 year old whose mother's boyfriend bashed his head in while playing a video game because he was crying. Better to just pass a law to make it illegal just to protect the ones that are abused than do as we're doing now which obviously is not working. So if a law is passed and I do believe there will be one in our future, you will be able to say to yourself I gave up spanking my child in order to protect the abused children in our country and it will make you feel better in the end, no pun intended. brandyII.

Hi, Just got your post. She'll be 20 in July. I've already stocked up on all the vitamins and stuff she needs for now and she's pretty good when it comes to following directions about certain things so hopefully she'll continue to do this even if she's not living with us in the future. One of the nurses at the hospital kept stressing that the people that "come back" to the hospital are the ones that are dehydrated or not taking their vitamins etc... and she wasn't playing any games. I'm wondering if she had the surgery herself because she was so adamant about it and none of the other nurse even discussed it with her. How old was your daughter when she had the surgery? It's nice to know she's led a normal life since and has had a baby and all. It's a bit scary though the difference in the two surgeries. I mean I was sore but lifting myself up and a lot of the soreness was from the gas. She was on the pain pump for the whole time she was in the hospital and sent home with a liquid pain Rx. Plus they didn't take out the gallbladder and so she's on some preventative for stones and also on meds for acid and just tons of stuff. It's so much more intense than the little lap band! I guess unless you get a real problem with the lap band but still it seems like I went through nothing during my surgery and post-op. Anyway has your daughter seemed to keep most of it off? I know she had a baby and that can add weight. Is she still happy that she had the surgery? Sorry to ask so many questions but I'm a worrier about the whole situation. Anyway when you get a chance, thanks, Nancy.

BJean, It still amazes me how many people are so angry about this topic and how they're afraid their right to spank/hit/tap/slap whatever their children maybe taken away from them. Are we animals? I feel so many people are out of touch. Isn't this the 21st century?:thumbup:

Okay, you know I think spanking in general is wrong but be that as it may, the father spanking the girls in the family seems a little weird to me:confused2:

With all the good shows in repeats now what else can we watch?

Do any of you that have the problem with the sweets, which I did too for the first 9 months it seemed, have other issues that could be contributing to this. Are you over-filled? I found when I had taken my 10cc band from being full at 4 ccs down to 2ccs that I can focus on eating a lot more healthy foods than just settling for the sweets. A variety of foods. I seemed to crave certain foods but because they were difficult to eat I would eat the easy ones. I still feel restriction at 2 ccs but I'm not choking on every piece of Protein now and I feel more satisfied and don't have to rely on the "slider" foods anymore because they go down so easily and taste good. I know it's much harder during certain times of the month but I guess I have to give myself some slack. If I buy sweets I'll buy just enough for a one time deal and not keep a box or a couple boxes around anymore because that's just too tempting for me.