soready17

Actually I thought Creekimp’s post was fine. Read the original post again. The OP wasn’t asking anything how to find the Lord, or about god, Christianity, or being converted, so the very strong “Christianity is the answer for you” posts were interesting, but Creekimks “I don’t think Christianity makes any sense” is just as acceptable. She wasn’t mean, hurtful - she just said it might not be God that is the answer. That is ok - this isn’t a Christian-conversion forum or website! And after all, Christianity is strong enough to withstand a little yes/no debate!
Back to you, crazy goose. There are GREAT men out there, and bad ones. Just as there are great and bad women. In my experience (and my work history includes trauma counselling, I am a psychologist) bad men zero in on vulnerable women.
You have made HUGE progress and I am really impressed with your journey. You clearly have great inner strength, so be proud!! Remind yourself how wonderfully you are doing. As you continue to grow your self esteem and your confidence, in my experience you will find that the men who are attracted to are less likely to be the sort of men who exist by exploiting lovely, low self esteem, vulnerable women.
Have you ever had a counsellor or therapist, crazygoose? You might find this helps you bed in the huge gains you have made, and help plot your ongoing growth.
I wish you all the best on your inner growth (and outer shrinkage!!) journey. You are amazing. Be proud.
xxx

I don't believe in gender. People are people. Women are just as nuts/mean/wonderful/loving/brilliant/dumb/contrary/dishonest/stable/amazing.....as men are. It's all individual. If you look for stereotypes, you'll find stereotypes. Look at individuals, and look deeply at yourself as an individual. No one is responsible for our happiness but ourselves. People who can be happy and find meaning and value in their lives...all on their own....are very, very attractive:)
Religion feels like a placebo pill to me. It works for some people...I'm not one of 'em. LOL. I think I'm too analytical. I can't figure out why God would want to kill his kid to get over his own issues with our behavior. How did that help, exactly? Particularly when his kid was immortal the whole time and was really just a part of himself....so he was sort of sacrificing himself...to himself...to get over his disappointment in standards people couldn't live up to.....while never really being in danger of not existing. I'm not a theologian...but that doesn't ring of any truth or logic to me. (I find the theologies of all the other major world religions just as baffling and bizarre.) But, hey, if it works for you....that's awesome. To each, their own:)
What makes my life kinda work (most of the time...lol)....
My nutty, boring, amazing, long-suffering husband...lol, my SmartyPants kiddo, my extremely foolish dog, my adorable faithful best friend who i've known since I was six, my batschit crazy mom, my coven of cats, a bunch of plants, good neighbors, lots of good books and movies, playing bad guitar, laughing a lot... loud and hard, long discussions with people who love ideas, a cup of ginger lemon tea, wellbutrinXL LOL, talking to strangers in waiting rooms and grocery lines, sculpting, french kisses in darkened doorways, painting, writing annoying posts on message boards, and reclaiming my health for more crazy adventures:)
Life is what YOU make it. Pick a good one:) And very best wishes to all on finding the happiness they deserve.

I also feel so uncomfortable with the attention. Then it gets so awkward because I don't know what to say or what I say is nonchalantly arrogant. Like I would say oh really thank you and then walk away seemingly stuck up but really I just feel uncomfortable and want to get away. I guess we have to get used to it. I also realize this issue is stunting my weight loss. I feel if I lose any more people will be ruthless with comments. Terrible mindset yet that's what I've discovered about myself. Wls is so hard. I also don't feel pride with my weight loss. Not a sense of accomplishment that I helped myself get better. Whereas if you did it the old fashioned way you feel so proud and accomplished you lost 10 lbs. Here I am 58 pounds less but feel like a cheater. Ugh I hate my analytical mind. I drive myself crazy sometimes.

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I actually currently have strep throat. I had chills and fever for 2-3 days a massive sore throat headaches body aches weakness. You may have strep or you may not. But I agree don't wait go to the ER if your only option is to wait until Monday . It's been a crazy and rough week for me. I just started the antibiotics today so I hope I start to feel better soon. Good luck!

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It will 5 months for me on the 14th. Time has definetly flown by. And I feel like our 1 year post op posts won't be too far either. It's been an amazing journey so far. Had moments of regret, anxiety, oh shi! moments, yesss moments so many moments. I just recently broke a stall I was in for 3 weeks ughh. I lost 6 lbs in 4 days. All it took was strep throat :/.... which really sucked and wasn't enjoyable at ALL. but it's crazy how the body works. I've lost 60.2 pounds since my 1 week preop diet. I was 294 and today I weighed in at 234 yaaaas.

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I have no regrets. I just wish I had done it years ago. I'm currently 185 pounds. Down from my highest weight of 330 pounds. My life is brand new. I'm off of 3 different diabetes medications, 2 blood pressure meds, and acid reflux meds. I can run and enjoy my 5 year old. I feel like I have a second chance at life.

HW 330
SW 292
CW 185
GW below 200

I feel the same way. I feel like I'm done. 4 months post op lost 46 lbs since surgery. Stalled for 3 weeks. Doing everything right just don't know what I'm doing wrong.

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I don't understand--what could you have done differently???

I wish I knew someone in my community/social life who went through with vsg before me. I wish he/she told me what kind of mindset is the best to have to achieve the most loss. I'm just learning now at 4 months postop. It makes me sad that I "wasted" the months I could have lost the most weight.
Just to be clear I don't feel I wasted anything.. it's just this info came later then I would have liked. It's never too late to change your mindset and I'm grateful I realize it now and not 6-9 months or year down the line. I now know what I absolutely have to do. Conquer my demons and take this journey seriously once and for all. That's definetly one thing I wish I had known. I'm still learning as the days go by...good luck everyone!

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my starting weight was 373 lbs and yes, I was a slow loser. I was behind my cohort for at least the first six months (although I think I ultimately blew all of them out of the Water - I was *very* compliant and lost 100% of my excess weight)

yes I do think that's a big part of the misunderstanding. A lot of people's exposure to WLS is "My 600 lb Life". Yes - those people drop 30 lbs the first few months, but they also start out at 600 lbs (and over). A more average WLS patient who starts out at something like 250 lbs? I'm sure there are some who drop that much that first month, but they would be outliers. From what I can tell having hung out on these boards for a few years is that something in the 15-25 lb range that first month is more standard. And maybe 10-12 lbs a month after that (and of course, the further out you go, the more that declines). I lost nowhere near 30 lbs the first month (I lost 16 lbs, in fact), and I started at well over 300 lbs. I like the fact that "My 600 lb Life" has made a lot of people aware of the WLS option, but because those people are far from the "normal" WLS patient (in fact, most surgeons would never operate on anyone that heavy), it gives people a skewed perception and unrealistic expectations.

I was sleeved August 15th. I'm only down 51lbs. I feel like I should have lost more at this point. My starting weight was 245. Anyone else with the struggle of not feeling like you are on target with your weight lose?

As someone who's been perpetually fighting food demons since I was 9 (and this might not apply to either of you), this language disturbs me and sends up a red flag.
"Our food choices are probably pretty much on point, give or take the small indulgences, I believe."
Why? So let me explain how tricky MY mind is...you might find under analysis that your mind is equally tricky. My mind is a little deceptive b***h who loves keeping my ass fat. So it lies to me daily--sometimes hourly--especially when it's wanting a fix.
1. "Probably pretty much on point" - As someone who is morbidly obese, I can't and won't succeed on "probably, pretty much." Cuz I know that if I am not precise, I will overload and underestimate/under-report. The difference in caloric/carb/protein/fat intake could be up to 25% higher than I should be targeting. So guess what? No weight loss would happen. I have to:
a. Know my targets specifically and know that I lose at those targets.
b. Weigh on a scale anything going down my piehole to precisely know I'm hitting those targets and not listening to my lying little fat b***h brain who ALWAYS wants more food. More! More! More!
2. "Give or take small indulgences." - While I've no doubt that some people have no issues with small indulgences--they neither send them careening down a one way alley to excess, nor do they give them a metabolic hiccup. I'm different. If I deviate, I stall. The. End. Seriously. If I have a small indulgence, I WILL either regain 2-4lbs or else, I will stop losing for 2-4 days. So my choice in deviating with small indulgences is to choose how much I'm willing to sacrifice for that "indulgence." The other problem I have with that statement is defining "give or take." How often do these indulgences occur? Are they weekly, daily? Once a year? Indulge often enough (especially with a severely broken metabolism like mine) and you stall out.
I call attention to these not because I'm trying to harass or hassle either of you, but because you are experiencing stalls. Had you made your comments and told us you were still continuing to lose, I'd say, "Dayum!!! So dang jelly! I wish I could indulge and still lose!" But since you're both having stalls, that sends the red flag up and makes me think that your lying little fat brain is dallying with your drive. And that can't ever end well.

I'm 4 months post op as of yesterday the 14th, and I'm in a similar rut. Weight loss is very slow. I feel like my lack of exercise is contributing to the slow weight loss and the numerous stalls. Our food choices are probably pretty much on point, give or take the small indulgences, I believe. We just need to move! I'm speaking for myself here, but maybe that's your issue too. I have an elliptical at home that I need to utilize more on a daily basis.

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I never had pain eating. As for stretching, you can't stretch your sleeve at 10 days out. If you do overeat, you'll blow out your suture line long before you stomach tissue would stretch. But you will certainly lose restriction over the years. At 4 years I can eat twice as much as I could at 2 years and probably 10 times as much as I could the first 6 months postop.

Yes maybe no!!
I am not losing right now either, sleeved 10/24. Not consistently tracking either, but when I do track, my macros are okay - at least 60gr Protein and 64oz liquids, carbs 30-56gr average. It's a lot depressing which adds to my general seasonal depression which is not good at all. I am also bored with food in general. The scale isn't exactly stopped but one pound a week for the past three weeks is pathetic to me, and half a pound this week.

I told anyone and everyone about my surgery, even people walking on the street. In general most people fell into two categories. They were either supportive or they were curious. The only negative comments I ever received were from my mother. She was very dependent on me at that time and I think she did not want to deal with anything that might interrupt that support.
People are different. My best advise is to follow your heart.

For me, lying or obfuscating the truth is too much work. I don't want to have to remember what I said a year ago or even a week ago. I would much rather just answer with the truth. That being said, I never wanted to inspire anyone either. I really could care less what anyone thinks of me and I sure don't concern myself with others business. If someone in my office asked that I am not a personal friend I would make something up on the spot.
lol, with a deadpan face and no humor in my voice I told people who were rude enough to ask that I lost weight from chemo, drug addiction, my wife leaving me, tapeworm... you name it. But as soon as they would mention that to anyone, "I heard that BigViffer lost all that weight because of his meth addiction!" There would be someone who would give them a dumbfounded look and tell them I had surgery.
TL:DR - tell people whatever you want because you are the one who will be dealing with it, not your friend.

It was never a question for me. I was going to tell everyone and I have. That way, I control the dialog. What could they possible say behind my back that is worse than what they were saying behind my back when I was bigger. If people are going to be underhanded and deceitful in their dealings with me they were always that way and not worth my time. You do you. Tell who you want.
By having surgery and being open and honest about my experience, the ripple effect has helped at least 5 others that I know take that leap and have the surgery and their lives are changed forever, Now instead of getting together to eat out, we take a class, go zip lining, or spend the day at an amusement park.
Tell your truth!

I'm with you. Providing a little education for those who sincerely are interested is worth the gossip. I told the town gossip about my surgery purely because it's always so much fun to find out things about myself that I never knew! LOL.

If you're someone who takes stupidity to heart and feels crushed when people are wrong about you....don't do it. If you have a thick skin and a good attitude...the world needs more advocates of truth and education. Desperately.

Also....what your friend would choose...isn't always what's best for you. You are two different people. And that's ok:)

I don’t see why not to tell people about the surgery!!!
I have been overweight all my life, and my doctor NEVER told me about the surgery.... she always talked to me about my weight and how bad that is for my health, but she NEVER EVER mention the option of the surgery...
Si I think you should tell people because someone may be looking for help or solution for the problem (weight). And how GREAT is the feeling of help others...

When I decided to have sleeve surgery I always knew I would keep it on the dl at least in the beginning; just so I can focus on me and my journey. I wanted to eventually go public in hopes that I will help another individual out, especially in my community where sleeve surgery is unheard of as an option for weight loss. Well I told my best friend and she advised me to never tell anyone. And when I told her I want to help people she INSISTED that I never tell a soul. I know her reasoning and intentions are in good faith. She is being protective over me from people's gossip and whatnot. But personally, I don't really care what people think as that's my personality. I always do me. And I know a few people actually MANY people in my circle who could benefit from knowing my "secret". I just find it extremely awkward when people ask me what did I do to lose the weight...when my replies are almost complete bullshi*. I keep thinking about what my bf said and it stops me from being open. The way she was vehemently advising me to be quiet about my surgery. I don't know I'm just so confused. Are people that evil? And am I being naive in thinking my situation can help others that were like me? ?

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Hi everyone! I had sleeve to bypass revision surgery on 11/16/17. I was sleeved in 2012, and had unfortunately gained back quite a bit of weight after my 3rd and final pregnancy. I also developed horrible acid reflux. My surgeon and I decided that gastric bypass would be beneficial to me for weight loss and to help with the reflux. I am 5'0. I started out at 215, got down to 205 the day of surgery with the help of the 2 week liquid diet that was required. I feel like I am losing extremely slow. I weight myself every morning which I know I shouldn't do, but can't help it. I'm at 200 lbs now but have been stuck there for a few days and it's so frustrating because I'm still doing full liquids. I have been on support forums reading about people who drop weight like crazy the first few weeks and I feel so discouraged. Maybe I'm just expecting too much too soon. Does anyone else have the same issues/feelings? I drink my 64 oz of fluids daily, get in 60 grams of Protein from my Premier Protein shakes and sip on broth. I have had some sf pudding and sf Jello and popsicles but not much else. Any ideas what else I could incorporate into my diet? I start soft foods on 11/30/17. Thanks in advance [emoji4]

???

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yea I understand the fear that is my fear as well ... I haven’t been pregnant had the sleeve to better my health and when I do decide to get pregnant not be so overweight but yes the fear of being pregnant well wait at least two years but wouldn’t want to gain all my weight back .