jerZmom

To me that was the toughest part,hang in there it will get better,get some sugar free hello and popsicles they help a lot to

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not gonna lie, the liquid diet totally sucks, but it does get better. and like you said, your body will feel better and the scale starts moving down, which was a big inspiration for me. think about all you've been through to get here for motivation to stick with it. and it's okay to be grumpy too, it's not easy but you've got this. hang in there

I was shocked by the drain, I was never told I would have one and all my pain came from the drain while in the hospital.
I was shocked that I could not start any liquid until after my leak test which was almost 24 hours later, my mouth has never been so dry.
I didn't expect to regret it so much at first. The first month was hard and I constantly questioned and second guessed myself.
I had a ton of muscle pain from the large incision that popped up weeks after surgery. It was hard to sleep for over a month.
But most importantly I never expected, at 6 months out, to feel so normal or to have lost so much weight. I'm 97 pounds down and 67 from surgery and it's the best feeling ever.

Hmm, it is really complicated and long.
First as far as identity and image that isn't just about body image. I spent my entire adult life as a plus sized woman. I shopped in the same stores. I had a certain style. I had a body I was familiar with, and that I did not hate. When I dropped enough weight, suddenly I had to find all new stores to shop in. I went from being an Apple shape to an hourglass. I had to change my style. I used to be able to look at clothes and know if they would work for me. I have to try every single thing on. Even now when my weigh has been fairly stable within 5 pounds for a few months I am still dropping inches and things no longer fit. I was comfortable as a plus sized person and that was part of my identity. Now I am no longer in the plus size club. I am smaller than the average woman in America who is now a size 16 or 18.
Not only has the way I think about myself in relation to the rest of the world changed, but how people treat me and react to me has changed a lot also. Women are not as friendly to me as they used to be when I was plus sized. I have always worn a lot of makeup and had big hair. When I used to be in Sephora as a fat girl with a beat face, people talked to me all the time. Normal size, beat face, cheek bones poppin even without highlighter, not as much convo. Men however treat me very differently. I always had men smile and talk to me, but now they really go out of their way to be super polite to me. Some of it has to do with how I dress now, usually dresses (typically bodycon or sheath) and heels. Looking more feminine really gains a lot of reaction from men, especially since most women rarely wear dresses and skirts and that is pretty much all I wear (they last a lot longer and are more forgiving to changing sizes).
As far as body image. I read a book that helped me a lot. Spending a lot of time on the internet plus what I do for my career, I am forced to look at what seems like perfect bodies all the time. That isn't really how people look. I use photoshop every day. I know all these images are fake, but I am still a victim of feeling like I don't measure up to those images. About 9 months ago I had a really hard time with my loose skin, but it has gotten better mentally, and physically. The longer I stay in the same size range, the better my skin gets and the better I look. Shapewear and dressing right for your body and personality can fix anything. Watching people whine on skin tight on TLC helps too. I realized they are making their problems worse by having a bad attitude about it. Most of them can't dress to save their lives and that is 90% of the problem. Also I accepted that I earned this body the hard way. Most people will never have the loose skin I have but they will also have never lost as much weight as I have. I wear shorts, sleeveless tops and work out in sports bra and leggings. I earned all these stripes. I think if I didn't like my body before then maybe it would be easier to accept my new body but I didn't hate myself before. If I could be fat and healthy I would probably still be fat. I wasn't a miserable fat person, I was a person with failing health, which was making me miserable.
http://a.co/fI9AKK1
I look great in clothes. I look great in clothes even without shapewear now. My boobs look great in a bra and they are fine if I am on my back . Like seriously the number of people that are ever going to see you naked, even if you are dating a lot is really low on a planet of 7 billion. It doesn't matter.
Therapists are useless, imo. I looked and tried out a few and all of them are just as dumb as the rest of the general pop. The ones I talked to just assumed that losing weight solves your problems, and their solutions for body image issues were trash. That book helped me think about myself more as a whole person and not a bunch of body parts and remember the real purpose of my body (even if you aren't religious, you can benefit)

Can you elaborate? I had my surgery 6/19 and I'm already thinking about how horrible my body is going to look once I lose this weight. I feel like I traded weight loss for saggy skin and breast. Yes, I'm happy that I will be healthier but I'm 27 and don't want to have so many things that I have to pay to fix. It's a little disheartening to think after I've stabilize my weight loss and maintain it, that I have to pay for all this corrective cosmetic surgery and still have to struggle with the body issues and how I view myself. I feel I traded one body issue for a few others.