DedicatedLady

I finally gave Premier Protein shakes a chance. I picked a 4 pack of chocolate (I'm a chocolate kinda gal) 

i might be the only person to think this, but those things are terrible! They're thick and gritty, no wonder people have such a hard time with the pre/post op liquid diets. Now, I'm cheap, and they were expensive, so I did pour them into my morning coffees until they were gone. Long story short-Blech🤢That is all.

So far surgery is a success.  I'm on liquids 'clear' and 'full' until day 17, then I start blending all my food...haha, yay? I've tried very small pieces of a few soft solid foods. It takes about 2 minutes for everything to register that it is being rejected.. Then I throw it up about 15 times, rather unpleasant. So suffice to say, it has been easy to stick to liquids like I'm supposed to   Thick cream soups kind of have the safe effect. Protein shakes however, are going down, slowly, but going down none the less. Down 12lbs since surgery 8 days ago. Even received compliments, the "your face looks skinnier" compliment. It's odd but I'll take it   

Finally, 2 days out! I'm busy every minute until then luckily, I have to drive out of town to leave my puppy with my mom for the week, then pack when I get back into the city. After that its a shower before bed and get to the airport for approximately 3am. We stop in Salt Lake City to connect flights, and show up in San Diego at noon. Surgery tests are in the afternoon. Relaxing movie before bed with my fiance, then surgery in the morning. I sure am happy I emailed my coordinator and asked for a morning surgery time! Glad I thought to do that..The more things to take my mind off of pending surgery the better

 I can probably surmise that this has been more of a thought dump than a productive status update.

 I'll update when I find internet in Tijuana

-Raquel

Its official, I'm tired of all my meals being either chocolate or vanilla flavor. I'm a salt person lol.  I have a dozen options to get creative with the shakes, and I've mixed it all. I'm out of options, and in three days I move to 48hr liquid diet anyways. Thankfully its Saturday, incredibly easy to stay occupied all day (the old me might have met friends for beer and food, but not anymore  )  Only 9 more shakes to go and they are done until post surgery. YAY! My 48hr liquid diet includes "strained cream soup",this makes no sense to me, why strained? why cream? Its feels counter-intuitive to have something manufactured, that's high in fat and has crazy sodium levels. Does anybody else have this included in their pre-op diet or am I the anomaly?!

I watched this video yesterday and I am so happy it did, it sure made me smile. Its a good watch if you've got the time.

Eureka!! My most delicious smoothie yet!

I finally took the time to slowly go around the grocery store (and I mean slowly) and look for new things I could incorporate into my protein smoothies to jazz things up. I tend to avoid sugar substitutes if possible, which has eliminated the option of juice squeeze things and most things labeled "sugar-free" anyways,including jello,popsicles,gum etc..  I found some promising new ingredients. I picked up some good finds (in my opinion). I got Matcha green tea powder with ginger, pumpkin pie spice (if your store doesn't have this premade its pretty much cinnamon,ginger,clove,nutmeg.super easy to make), imitation caramel extract, imitation coconut extract, and organic vanilla extract. 

So onto my smoothie, it contains the following (as I stare at it lovingly) :

-1  cup unsweetened cashew milk

-1 cup water/with a handful of ice

-1 scoop Vitaleph Vanilla protein mix

-A splash of caramel extract

-A dash of Vanilla extract

-Pumpkin Pie Spice

I blended it all together, poured it into a giant cup and am happily drinking so far the best protein smoothie I've had. Also looking forward to tomorrows chocolate protein,espresso, and coconut breakfast smoothie. Fingers crossed it does the trick

Offically Day 16 of of pre-op diet. Yesterday started phase 2 which is 3-4 shakes a day plus green leafy veg and sugar free jello. I didn't like pre-made jello to start, not surprisingly it still tastes like someone poured water on a dirty carpet, squeezed it out into a jello mold with food coloring and called it "edible".. So yesterday,  I made it officially 17Hrs on my SUPER exciting selection of either vanilla or chocolate shakes before I said f**k it, I got home from work (still carrying around my half a lunch shake) and ate a miniature handful of trail mix, and a rather large piece of very dark chocolate. Actual chocolate!  For the record, I regret nothing.

(I made my dinner shake at the same time, surprise I went with 'chocolate' flavor, and I use that term loosely, as the shake mix should come with a label that states it is only brown in color, and is not flavored like, nor associated with ACTUAL chocolate. Kind of like a 'no real chocolate was harmed in the making of this bubbely swill we call a shake'.  17 hrs before I was tired of them plain. Its time to start getting creative with my recipes, sweet   Hmmm no wonder you lose weight, the food is awful hahaha

I googled and pinterested(<--that's not a real word) recipes for Bariatric patients Post Op, and good lord there are some incredible looking things on there. I will note though that to replace grains there's a strong emphasis on just using cheese instead. I'm not a nutritionist or anything but I've flipped over a package of cheese once or twice in my life and happen to know that it is high as a kite in fat. Then again when you're making food porn, obviously more cheese looks better. Anyways, its Thursday and I need to go make cheques (<--btw the spell check for this is "squelches",wonderful..

Moving that scale down one day at a time.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
-Dolly Parton  

I check my own ticker to remind myself how close my surgery is, because it seems sort of surreal, especially how fast time is going...Is that weird?

I'm grateful for two things that I was reminded of last night. The first one is that I have this 4 week pre op diet to prepare for whats next, because it caused me to stop and think about why I eat in the patterns I do, and to try and change it. For example, I was standing in the kitchen having coffee with my fiance last weekend and told him (it was about noon) that because I know we have cookies in one cupboard, normally I would have had cookies with my coffee, and then perhaps another coffee so I could have more cookies.. Not that I need them, but just because they are there and I know that. I said normally the cheezies in the other cupboard I would have had as a mid day snack simply because they are there and its a treat. In neither of those situations would I have been hungry and eating to satiate myself. I would consider myself a "convenient grazer", I wouldn't go into the kitchen to cook for one person, but if there was crackers and cheese I'd eat it, just 'cause. If there was chips, cookies, crackers, beef jerky etc, I'd eat them because I have an addiction (the realization of that is my second epiphany for the week, continuing on....). He is so very helpful. Even apologizes when we hosted fathers day dinner because I had so few options, and went as far as to offer to steam me some vegetables so I had more to eat. I politely declined, because I am getting better and better at saying no to food.

The minute I was given a surgery date and put on Atkins, I started eating like I had just had surgery. Small plates, small portions,the effort to cook vegetables for myself, staying out of the kitchen, drinking a lot of water. I've tried very hard to stay in the mindset that this is real, there is no turning back, and I will absolutely be successful for the rest of my life. Being forced to go on a diet pre op has opened my eyes to how much time I spent eating, and why, and a realistic understanding of how much I was eating. When its a day of grazing, plus one meal (that I got very bad at eating close to bed time) it no wonder to me how I got to be this big.  I got all of my ducks in a row when it came to organizing the procedure, now I just need to make sure I stay on track. In 3 days I go from Atkins to 3 Vitaleph shakes a day (plus leafy green and SF popsicles/SF jello.. blech for aspartame) and my supplements. Its becoming very real and my nervousness is melting away, while my excitement grows stronger. Goodbye self-doubting Raquel, hello confident beautiful dedicated Raquel.

Officially 7 days into pre-op dieting. July 6th is my official VSG date. Its Wednesday so I report my weight with my nutritionist and on the graph page with my user ID. Last Wednesday I said 295lb. When really I was 293.8, but likely for fear of not being successful at losing 15lbs by surgery date, I 'padded' my number..wait, wait, that was sugarcoated hey, ok, I lied because I was afraid of failure, there I said it.  My week has been a breeze, I feel like I'm running on motivation (while carrying a water bottle of course) Now keep in mind, I have been living off green vegetables, steak,chicken,shrimp,coffee,water,and when I cracked I had 5 potato chips. I barely notice the kitchen cupboards are even there anymore, because I know there's no snacks in them that I can have. I open the fridge and inside is my own shelf of what is allowed for me. I swear the entire shelf is green with the exception of the styrofoam carton of eggs on the edge. Yesterday there was a giant box of pizza on the shelf just below, and if it weren't for the smell of the hawaiian (I didn't even have to open the box to be able to tell the type, honest lol) I probably wouldn't have noticed it was there. Essentially, after a week, I'm kind of bored of food for now. Which in my opinion is exactly what I need prior to surgery. Oh, quick note. I have nocturnal epilepsy but I've been seizure free for like 8 or 9 years and take medication-so my concern with this pre-op diet was that it was going to effect me neurologically. I've been perfectly fine, I just make sure to eat proper foods at proper times. 

Now, onto my weigh-in day. I had a $15 scale for 9 years that was like it had been built by NASA, it was the most accurate thing I've ever owned. It broke during bathroom renovations 2 months ago and I was devastated. Some time later, we buy an expensive scale (haha it was like $30) and I can stand on it 5 times in a row and get 5 different numbers, in like a 9lb range, I **** you not. Okay I know its time to get a new one, as soon as my schedule permits. Today however, I need that number or my nutritionist will actually contact me. Deep breaths, I take my first step, 280.2. I step again, but close to the outside edges trying to trick it or something, 280.2. I stand close to the front, 280.2. Close to the back, 280.2. I move the scale to the other side of the bathroom, and stand on it backwards, move it to the hallway stand backwards again, stand on it crouching down, sideways,backwards;The number won't go away. I actually told myself walking into the bathroom that I needed 20 consistent numbers to be convinced (that shows how little faith I have in this scale)

Well, long story short, I'm convinced. 280.2 it is, and I'm not padding my number for once. It feels freeing. A brief idea went through my head as I stood there in my birthday suit, while processing the number that my toes pointed too, that I need to "maintain" this until surgery..that thought bubble immediately morphed into "eff that, I'm going to keep working" and being successful, because its the attitude I will need to have after surgery as well. I don't say this often enough, but GO ME!

Today is a good day, and I have a can of tuna with my name on it that needs eating...yay

Day 5:Pre-Op Diet.

First Entry: Its been about 8 days since I made my decision and booked my surgery. I'm writing on a public board because I imagine my fiance is already tired of hearing about every aspect of VSG that there is, I find I can't stop talking about it, because I'M SO EXCITED! Also because only him and my mother know, and I need somewhere to type, and I happen to love the users on this site, so nice, honestly! 

I'm booked in on July 6th at the OCC in Tijuana MX with Dr.Ortiz. I talked to my nutritionist on the 6th and she literally wrote in her first email "absolutely no alcohol from this point on". Even SHE bolded it in the email (as though I was only going to skim over her email regarding a major surgery, HA!) I had from that day until July 20th (2 weeks out from surgery) to be on Atkins, minus a few things. I'm supposed to be getting protein shakes but they're in the mail somewhere.. It is Canada after all. So, day 5 of sugar withdrawals, lets see.. I do drink like sweetened creamer in my coffee, only one a day, and I don't use too much, maybe only 1 serving which is 5grams. I still feel bad about that 5 grams, but I did not realize what a terrible idea trying to quit caffeine and sugar at the same time would be at first without it. Then I spent almost the entire weekend dizzy and lethargic on the couch  while binge watching Netflix in between napping. After 2 days of that, I decided I would go back to my one cup of coffee a day and just live with my 5 grams.

Days 1,2 of no sugar were like a blur. Day 3 was weird because I had no appetite but I was unbelievably thirsty which I thought was funny since I was drinking over 2L of water a day. That 3rd day was headaches from wake up until bedtime. Day 4 was my least favorite, I had the exact same lunch and dinner, 4-5ox steak and lettuce (seriously Atkins restrictions, go f yourself sometimes).. then about 3 or 4 times I found myself walking around the kitchen opening cupboards and looking for snacks. As though magically there would be sugar-free, aspartame free Jello cups just waiting for me, or opening the freezer would make sugar free popsicles appear. Nope, all I found was the Cheetos for my fiance in one cupboard, the salt and vinegar chips I asked him to hide from me in another cupboard, and cookies in the last cupboard I opened. For some strange reason The day I shopped for approved Pre-Op foods for myself, I also bought a large amount of junk food for him. I dont know why. We all make mistakes right?  hahaha.  He's so unbelievably supportive though in a million and one ways. The first time I asked him his opinion about getting surgery, he thought exercise and healthy eating was the answer and said he didn't really like it. Then I brought it up again (with a few facts to back me up - I said I dont want to worry about things like diabetes,strokes,heart disease, and future pregnancy complications).. He is so supportive it has blown my mind, he literally even woke me up last night when he got home from football and asked if it was ok if he ordered pizza. I was asleep so I wasn't going to miss it, but I thought it was so sweet of him to care. He even just called me to tell me where were going for dinner for his moms birthday, so now I can look up the menu online and pick the best thing!

All in all, Its been 5 days dieting, and 4.5 days sugar-free (mostly) I weighed in last Wednesday at 295. Tomorrow I report to my nutritionist, and I'll update my weight tomorrow. Sorry for such a long post - I knew I should have been writing from the beginning. Its kind of calming.

Now to finish off my wonderful day! (that might just be the sugar in my creamer talking hehee....)