DedicatedLady

Does anyone purposely go to bed hungry or do you eat if you're hungry right at bedtime? I've always ignored the hunger and went to bed. It's not acid reflux (haven't had any, praise God!), but real genuine hunger. I could eat anything right now. In the past (healthy days), I learned to just go to bed, something to do with making the metabolism work/calories burn, etc. don't remember exact science. Also in the past (non healthy days) I thought I'd be hungry and would end up eating a snack before bed. But that was refux.  So even though I'm genuinely hungry now. I wouldn't even want to start up that terrible old habit I had. I think I posted my status out of even thinking of getting something to eat, even if it's healthy.  

Where the heck can we update our weight? It's not under profile, or anywhere else I can find.

I watched this video yesterday and I am so happy it did, it sure made me smile. Its a good watch if you've got the time.

I have a new-found respect for cottage cheese. 4oz is 100cals and 15grams of protein. Super filling for my sleeve too!

Well it's about bloody time. I'm down a couple of pounds...257 lbs from 260 lbs after almost a month. 

By the way does anyone snack on nuts like almonds or peanuts or cashews or sunflower seeds...I know there fattening but aren't they healthy fat ?

Offically Day 16 of of pre-op diet. Yesterday started phase 2 which is 3-4 shakes a day plus green leafy veg and sugar free jello. I didn't like pre-made jello to start, not surprisingly it still tastes like someone poured water on a dirty carpet, squeezed it out into a jello mold with food coloring and called it "edible".. So yesterday,  I made it officially 17Hrs on my SUPER exciting selection of either vanilla or chocolate shakes before I said f**k it, I got home from work (still carrying around my half a lunch shake) and ate a miniature handful of trail mix, and a rather large piece of very dark chocolate. Actual chocolate!  For the record, I regret nothing.

(I made my dinner shake at the same time, surprise I went with 'chocolate' flavor, and I use that term loosely, as the shake mix should come with a label that states it is only brown in color, and is not flavored like, nor associated with ACTUAL chocolate. Kind of like a 'no real chocolate was harmed in the making of this bubbely swill we call a shake'.  17 hrs before I was tired of them plain. Its time to start getting creative with my recipes, sweet   Hmmm no wonder you lose weight, the food is awful hahaha

I googled and pinterested(<--that's not a real word) recipes for Bariatric patients Post Op, and good lord there are some incredible looking things on there. I will note though that to replace grains there's a strong emphasis on just using cheese instead. I'm not a nutritionist or anything but I've flipped over a package of cheese once or twice in my life and happen to know that it is high as a kite in fat. Then again when you're making food porn, obviously more cheese looks better. Anyways, its Thursday and I need to go make cheques (<--btw the spell check for this is "squelches",wonderful..

Moving that scale down one day at a time.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
-Dolly Parton  

So today while I was watching this female Asian longhorned beetle oviposite her egg I was thinking about the science behind WLS. How many experiments aka..clinical trials have been done, are still being done, and will be done in the future to help doctors figure out the complex mysteries of this disease we call obesity. It blows my mind to even try to think of all the variables involved in the design of these trials.

My research focuses on this beetle, a much simpler organism, and yet it can take days of thought and reading current published research to determine the variables that need to be considered and controlled during a planned experiment. Sometimes we even design pre-experiments just to figure out whether something is going to effect something else before we run the main experiment. All of this thinking has made me realize how little we really know. Why has my diabetes gone into remission after surgery? This surgery has done what following a low carb diet alone could not do, normalize my blood sugars minus any medications. I haven't had time to read all of the published literature on this subject, but I would like to.

My mind is trained to looked for patterns in data so of course this is the way I am approaching my journey after this surgery. I am logging everything I eat, drink, and my exercise. I will export the data to excel and graph it to see if I can figure out how my body works now in relation to theses things and weight loss.  I know for some people, maybe most, this is not something they would want to do. It may seem excessive and time consuming, but I hope to learn something that will be useful to me during the maintenance phase. 

I am increasingly more convinced that low carb is going to be the best diet for me to follow long term. I just don't see any reason to test the waters when I am doing so well right now. I have zero cravings for sugar, bread, rice, pasta... my energy levels are good, my bs are excellent, and I am losing weight.  These are my musings for today, 5 weeks post-op.

Month 1 is in the books!! 17lbs lost since surgery, 32lbs down in total. I am so happy with my progress. I have a long way to go, but I am so psyched to see a loss this big on the scale. It's been years since I've seen any real loss at all. Goal for this month is to work on increasing my activity. Let's do this!!!

So today while I was watching this female Asian longhorned beetle oviposite her egg I was thinking about the science behind WLS. How many experiments aka..clinical trials have been done, are still being done, and will be done in the future to help doctors figure out the complex mysteries of this disease we call obesity. It blows my mind to even try to think of all the variables involved in the design of these trials.

My research focuses on this beetle, a much simpler organism, and yet it can take days of thought and reading current published research to determine the variables that need to be considered and controlled during a planned experiment. Sometimes we even design pre-experiments just to figure out whether something is going to effect something else before we run the main experiment. All of this thinking has made me realize how little we really know. Why has my diabetes gone into remission after surgery? This surgery has done what following a low carb diet alone could not do, normalize my blood sugars minus any medications. I haven't had time to read all of the published literature on this subject, but I would like to.

My mind is trained to looked for patterns in data so of course this is the way I am approaching my journey after this surgery. I am logging everything I eat, drink, and my exercise. I will export the data to excel and graph it to see if I can figure out how my body works now in relation to theses things and weight loss.  I know for some people, maybe most, this is not something they would want to do. It may seem excessive and time consuming, but I hope to learn something that will be useful to me during the maintenance phase. 

I am increasingly more convinced that low carb is going to be the best diet for me to follow long term. I just don't see any reason to test the waters when I am doing so well right now. I have zero cravings for sugar, bread, rice, pasta... my energy levels are good, my bs are excellent, and I am losing weight.  These are my musings for today, 5 weeks post-op.

I check my own ticker to remind myself how close my surgery is, because it seems sort of surreal, especially how fast time is going...Is that weird?

I'm grateful for two things that I was reminded of last night. The first one is that I have this 4 week pre op diet to prepare for whats next, because it caused me to stop and think about why I eat in the patterns I do, and to try and change it. For example, I was standing in the kitchen having coffee with my fiance last weekend and told him (it was about noon) that because I know we have cookies in one cupboard, normally I would have had cookies with my coffee, and then perhaps another coffee so I could have more cookies.. Not that I need them, but just because they are there and I know that. I said normally the cheezies in the other cupboard I would have had as a mid day snack simply because they are there and its a treat. In neither of those situations would I have been hungry and eating to satiate myself. I would consider myself a "convenient grazer", I wouldn't go into the kitchen to cook for one person, but if there was crackers and cheese I'd eat it, just 'cause. If there was chips, cookies, crackers, beef jerky etc, I'd eat them because I have an addiction (the realization of that is my second epiphany for the week, continuing on....). He is so very helpful. Even apologizes when we hosted fathers day dinner because I had so few options, and went as far as to offer to steam me some vegetables so I had more to eat. I politely declined, because I am getting better and better at saying no to food.

The minute I was given a surgery date and put on Atkins, I started eating like I had just had surgery. Small plates, small portions,the effort to cook vegetables for myself, staying out of the kitchen, drinking a lot of water. I've tried very hard to stay in the mindset that this is real, there is no turning back, and I will absolutely be successful for the rest of my life. Being forced to go on a diet pre op has opened my eyes to how much time I spent eating, and why, and a realistic understanding of how much I was eating. When its a day of grazing, plus one meal (that I got very bad at eating close to bed time) it no wonder to me how I got to be this big.  I got all of my ducks in a row when it came to organizing the procedure, now I just need to make sure I stay on track. In 3 days I go from Atkins to 3 Vitaleph shakes a day (plus leafy green and SF popsicles/SF jello.. blech for aspartame) and my supplements. Its becoming very real and my nervousness is melting away, while my excitement grows stronger. Goodbye self-doubting Raquel, hello confident beautiful dedicated Raquel.

I'm grateful for two things that I was reminded of last night. The first one is that I have this 4 week pre op diet to prepare for whats next, because it caused me to stop and think about why I eat in the patterns I do, and to try and change it. For example, I was standing in the kitchen having coffee with my fiance last weekend and told him (it was about noon) that because I know we have cookies in one cupboard, normally I would have had cookies with my coffee, and then perhaps another coffee so I could have more cookies.. Not that I need them, but just because they are there and I know that. I said normally the cheezies in the other cupboard I would have had as a mid day snack simply because they are there and its a treat. In neither of those situations would I have been hungry and eating to satiate myself. I would consider myself a "convenient grazer", I wouldn't go into the kitchen to cook for one person, but if there was crackers and cheese I'd eat it, just 'cause. If there was chips, cookies, crackers, beef jerky etc, I'd eat them because I have an addiction (the realization of that is my second epiphany for the week, continuing on....). He is so very helpful. Even apologizes when we hosted fathers day dinner because I had so few options, and went as far as to offer to steam me some vegetables so I had more to eat. I politely declined, because I am getting better and better at saying no to food.

The minute I was given a surgery date and put on Atkins, I started eating like I had just had surgery. Small plates, small portions,the effort to cook vegetables for myself, staying out of the kitchen, drinking a lot of water. I've tried very hard to stay in the mindset that this is real, there is no turning back, and I will absolutely be successful for the rest of my life. Being forced to go on a diet pre op has opened my eyes to how much time I spent eating, and why, and a realistic understanding of how much I was eating. When its a day of grazing, plus one meal (that I got very bad at eating close to bed time) it no wonder to me how I got to be this big.  I got all of my ducks in a row when it came to organizing the procedure, now I just need to make sure I stay on track. In 3 days I go from Atkins to 3 Vitaleph shakes a day (plus leafy green and SF popsicles/SF jello.. blech for aspartame) and my supplements. Its becoming very real and my nervousness is melting away, while my excitement grows stronger. Goodbye self-doubting Raquel, hello confident beautiful dedicated Raquel.

Officially 7 days into pre-op dieting. July 6th is my official VSG date. Its Wednesday so I report my weight with my nutritionist and on the graph page with my user ID. Last Wednesday I said 295lb. When really I was 293.8, but likely for fear of not being successful at losing 15lbs by surgery date, I 'padded' my number..wait, wait, that was sugarcoated hey, ok, I lied because I was afraid of failure, there I said it.  My week has been a breeze, I feel like I'm running on motivation (while carrying a water bottle of course) Now keep in mind, I have been living off green vegetables, steak,chicken,shrimp,coffee,water,and when I cracked I had 5 potato chips. I barely notice the kitchen cupboards are even there anymore, because I know there's no snacks in them that I can have. I open the fridge and inside is my own shelf of what is allowed for me. I swear the entire shelf is green with the exception of the styrofoam carton of eggs on the edge. Yesterday there was a giant box of pizza on the shelf just below, and if it weren't for the smell of the hawaiian (I didn't even have to open the box to be able to tell the type, honest lol) I probably wouldn't have noticed it was there. Essentially, after a week, I'm kind of bored of food for now. Which in my opinion is exactly what I need prior to surgery. Oh, quick note. I have nocturnal epilepsy but I've been seizure free for like 8 or 9 years and take medication-so my concern with this pre-op diet was that it was going to effect me neurologically. I've been perfectly fine, I just make sure to eat proper foods at proper times. 

Now, onto my weigh-in day. I had a $15 scale for 9 years that was like it had been built by NASA, it was the most accurate thing I've ever owned. It broke during bathroom renovations 2 months ago and I was devastated. Some time later, we buy an expensive scale (haha it was like $30) and I can stand on it 5 times in a row and get 5 different numbers, in like a 9lb range, I **** you not. Okay I know its time to get a new one, as soon as my schedule permits. Today however, I need that number or my nutritionist will actually contact me. Deep breaths, I take my first step, 280.2. I step again, but close to the outside edges trying to trick it or something, 280.2. I stand close to the front, 280.2. Close to the back, 280.2. I move the scale to the other side of the bathroom, and stand on it backwards, move it to the hallway stand backwards again, stand on it crouching down, sideways,backwards;The number won't go away. I actually told myself walking into the bathroom that I needed 20 consistent numbers to be convinced (that shows how little faith I have in this scale)

Well, long story short, I'm convinced. 280.2 it is, and I'm not padding my number for once. It feels freeing. A brief idea went through my head as I stood there in my birthday suit, while processing the number that my toes pointed too, that I need to "maintain" this until surgery..that thought bubble immediately morphed into "eff that, I'm going to keep working" and being successful, because its the attitude I will need to have after surgery as well. I don't say this often enough, but GO ME!

Today is a good day, and I have a can of tuna with my name on it that needs eating...yay

Day 5:Pre-Op Diet.

First Entry: Its been about 8 days since I made my decision and booked my surgery. I'm writing on a public board because I imagine my fiance is already tired of hearing about every aspect of VSG that there is, I find I can't stop talking about it, because I'M SO EXCITED! Also because only him and my mother know, and I need somewhere to type, and I happen to love the users on this site, so nice, honestly! 

I'm booked in on July 6th at the OCC in Tijuana MX with Dr.Ortiz. I talked to my nutritionist on the 6th and she literally wrote in her first email "absolutely no alcohol from this point on". Even SHE bolded it in the email (as though I was only going to skim over her email regarding a major surgery, HA!) I had from that day until July 20th (2 weeks out from surgery) to be on Atkins, minus a few things. I'm supposed to be getting protein shakes but they're in the mail somewhere.. It is Canada after all. So, day 5 of sugar withdrawals, lets see.. I do drink like sweetened creamer in my coffee, only one a day, and I don't use too much, maybe only 1 serving which is 5grams. I still feel bad about that 5 grams, but I did not realize what a terrible idea trying to quit caffeine and sugar at the same time would be at first without it. Then I spent almost the entire weekend dizzy and lethargic on the couch  while binge watching Netflix in between napping. After 2 days of that, I decided I would go back to my one cup of coffee a day and just live with my 5 grams.

Days 1,2 of no sugar were like a blur. Day 3 was weird because I had no appetite but I was unbelievably thirsty which I thought was funny since I was drinking over 2L of water a day. That 3rd day was headaches from wake up until bedtime. Day 4 was my least favorite, I had the exact same lunch and dinner, 4-5ox steak and lettuce (seriously Atkins restrictions, go f yourself sometimes).. then about 3 or 4 times I found myself walking around the kitchen opening cupboards and looking for snacks. As though magically there would be sugar-free, aspartame free Jello cups just waiting for me, or opening the freezer would make sugar free popsicles appear. Nope, all I found was the Cheetos for my fiance in one cupboard, the salt and vinegar chips I asked him to hide from me in another cupboard, and cookies in the last cupboard I opened. For some strange reason The day I shopped for approved Pre-Op foods for myself, I also bought a large amount of junk food for him. I dont know why. We all make mistakes right?  hahaha.  He's so unbelievably supportive though in a million and one ways. The first time I asked him his opinion about getting surgery, he thought exercise and healthy eating was the answer and said he didn't really like it. Then I brought it up again (with a few facts to back me up - I said I dont want to worry about things like diabetes,strokes,heart disease, and future pregnancy complications).. He is so supportive it has blown my mind, he literally even woke me up last night when he got home from football and asked if it was ok if he ordered pizza. I was asleep so I wasn't going to miss it, but I thought it was so sweet of him to care. He even just called me to tell me where were going for dinner for his moms birthday, so now I can look up the menu online and pick the best thing!

All in all, Its been 5 days dieting, and 4.5 days sugar-free (mostly) I weighed in last Wednesday at 295. Tomorrow I report to my nutritionist, and I'll update my weight tomorrow. Sorry for such a long post - I knew I should have been writing from the beginning. Its kind of calming.

Now to finish off my wonderful day! (that might just be the sugar in my creamer talking hehee....)