Jenopolis

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.
Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

This is such an interesting question. I didn't purposely tell a lot of people beforehand, and I have never mentioned it at work because I don't talk about personal stuff at work, it's kind of a formal office.
That said, since the surgery, many people have asked me for my "diet secret", and I am always open and say, I had weight loss surgery. You asked about what bad things people can say-- they don't say "bad" things in my experience, it's more of a "ohhhhh, so you took the easy way out" kind of thing. Which annoys me because it is NOT easy, the first few months are horrible, and even now, 8 months out, I don't eat sugar, bread, or any other simple carbohydrates. I don't drink fizzy anything, I take a gazillion Vitamins day and night, and I measure my Protein and fluids every day to make sure I don't lose muscle or get weak and light-headed.
Is it worth it? Hell yes! I've been following diet rules for years with nowhere near these results, so following the rules and actually losing weight is a dream come true. And most people just tell me "you look great" and move on, no big conversation wanted or needed. But the only bad I can think of is the perception that you don't earn this weight loss-- which is silly and totally wrong, but whatever.
Whatever you choose, there is no right or wrong way to do it, imho. Also-- I think you'll be pretty damn happy with your life and weight loss, so that cushions the blow. Good luck!!

This is such an interesting question. I didn't purposely tell a lot of people beforehand, and I have never mentioned it at work because I don't talk about personal stuff at work, it's kind of a formal office.
That said, since the surgery, many people have asked me for my "diet secret", and I am always open and say, I had weight loss surgery. You asked about what bad things people can say-- they don't say "bad" things in my experience, it's more of a "ohhhhh, so you took the easy way out" kind of thing. Which annoys me because it is NOT easy, the first few months are horrible, and even now, 8 months out, I don't eat sugar, bread, or any other simple carbohydrates. I don't drink fizzy anything, I take a gazillion Vitamins day and night, and I measure my Protein and fluids every day to make sure I don't lose muscle or get weak and light-headed.
Is it worth it? Hell yes! I've been following diet rules for years with nowhere near these results, so following the rules and actually losing weight is a dream come true. And most people just tell me "you look great" and move on, no big conversation wanted or needed. But the only bad I can think of is the perception that you don't earn this weight loss-- which is silly and totally wrong, but whatever.
Whatever you choose, there is no right or wrong way to do it, imho. Also-- I think you'll be pretty damn happy with your life and weight loss, so that cushions the blow. Good luck!!

This is such an interesting question. I didn't purposely tell a lot of people beforehand, and I have never mentioned it at work because I don't talk about personal stuff at work, it's kind of a formal office.
That said, since the surgery, many people have asked me for my "diet secret", and I am always open and say, I had weight loss surgery. You asked about what bad things people can say-- they don't say "bad" things in my experience, it's more of a "ohhhhh, so you took the easy way out" kind of thing. Which annoys me because it is NOT easy, the first few months are horrible, and even now, 8 months out, I don't eat sugar, bread, or any other simple carbohydrates. I don't drink fizzy anything, I take a gazillion Vitamins day and night, and I measure my Protein and fluids every day to make sure I don't lose muscle or get weak and light-headed.
Is it worth it? Hell yes! I've been following diet rules for years with nowhere near these results, so following the rules and actually losing weight is a dream come true. And most people just tell me "you look great" and move on, no big conversation wanted or needed. But the only bad I can think of is the perception that you don't earn this weight loss-- which is silly and totally wrong, but whatever.
Whatever you choose, there is no right or wrong way to do it, imho. Also-- I think you'll be pretty damn happy with your life and weight loss, so that cushions the blow. Good luck!!

This is such an interesting question. I didn't purposely tell a lot of people beforehand, and I have never mentioned it at work because I don't talk about personal stuff at work, it's kind of a formal office.
That said, since the surgery, many people have asked me for my "diet secret", and I am always open and say, I had weight loss surgery. You asked about what bad things people can say-- they don't say "bad" things in my experience, it's more of a "ohhhhh, so you took the easy way out" kind of thing. Which annoys me because it is NOT easy, the first few months are horrible, and even now, 8 months out, I don't eat sugar, bread, or any other simple carbohydrates. I don't drink fizzy anything, I take a gazillion Vitamins day and night, and I measure my Protein and fluids every day to make sure I don't lose muscle or get weak and light-headed.
Is it worth it? Hell yes! I've been following diet rules for years with nowhere near these results, so following the rules and actually losing weight is a dream come true. And most people just tell me "you look great" and move on, no big conversation wanted or needed. But the only bad I can think of is the perception that you don't earn this weight loss-- which is silly and totally wrong, but whatever.
Whatever you choose, there is no right or wrong way to do it, imho. Also-- I think you'll be pretty damn happy with your life and weight loss, so that cushions the blow. Good luck!!

It is really amazing how people respond. I was at 300 and wanted to get to 200. Pre surgery, i lost 40 lbs on my own. No one in the outer circle said a word about it.
Makes me question is our culture just numb to obesity and its just acceptable? Is it because people are so easily offended these days, you cant even pay a compliment? Is it because people fear you may have a medical condition?
The easy way out angle is a riot to me. They said people would say that at the support group meeting I first went to. If people only knew what I have gone through this year. I havent eaten food in over 3 weeks at this point. You wake up every day of your life feeling like crap, embarrassed of how you look. Frustrated you cant do things , wear things, or eat things other take for granted. You make a decision to cut into your body and cut organs out to get to where others are normally. You will have to alter your way of life and eating for ever. There is nothing easy about any of that.

You are spot on.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I have lost over 40 pounds so far. I'm a little bummed that nobody has noticed- but, I just remind myself that nobody commented when I packed on 40 pounds either!

I agree 100%. Same goes for me with white bread and Pasta.

Now that I have been cleared to eat basically whatever. I have started meal prepping to make my life easier. Today I am making
Spaghetti Squash casserole
Cod with a white wine Tomato basil sauce
Breakfast Egg Cups
Here are some pictures.. I’ll post the cod once it’s done!
If anyone wants the recipes or has any they want to share please ask or comment below!  

5 months post op.
1. Don't underestimate how much time and help you will need in the beginning. I thought that since I recovered from the surgery so quickly, I would be fine to go back to being a mom/employee/wife/member of society right away. I ended up being tired to the point of depression trying to keep up with everything. You are basically going through withdrawal for weeks, living on Protein Shakes until you want to throw them at a wall and erase the memory of that fake sweet taste from your life forever. And you have little energy for handling life, especially if you are a person who is used to handling a LOT of balls in the air, which is so many of us! So take the time off, ask for help if you can, and be gentle with yourself.
2. IT WILL GET BETTER. I had major doubts about that for the first weeks. I hated life, and hated that I had the surgery, and thought I was doomed to be a freak who couldn't even eat meals with her family anymore. Ummmmm. Yeah, none of that turned out to be true.
3. Be strict with yourself and build discipline, follow your doctor's orders, but allow yourself regular "treats" so that you don't ever REALLY feel the urge to mess up. For me, the treats are those flip Greek yogurts with crunchy things, or Pure Protein Crunch Bites, a bag of Skinny Pop, or even just a big cup of hazelnut coffee-- I feel like I can love life when I can have those things on the regular! And I still get all my protein and Water in, so I know I'm doing okay and my weight loss is good. Most importantly, I stay away from bread and fries and cupcakes and the things that could really do me in.

5 months post op.
1. Don't underestimate how much time and help you will need in the beginning. I thought that since I recovered from the surgery so quickly, I would be fine to go back to being a mom/employee/wife/member of society right away. I ended up being tired to the point of depression trying to keep up with everything. You are basically going through withdrawal for weeks, living on Protein Shakes until you want to throw them at a wall and erase the memory of that fake sweet taste from your life forever. And you have little energy for handling life, especially if you are a person who is used to handling a LOT of balls in the air, which is so many of us! So take the time off, ask for help if you can, and be gentle with yourself.
2. IT WILL GET BETTER. I had major doubts about that for the first weeks. I hated life, and hated that I had the surgery, and thought I was doomed to be a freak who couldn't even eat meals with her family anymore. Ummmmm. Yeah, none of that turned out to be true.
3. Be strict with yourself and build discipline, follow your doctor's orders, but allow yourself regular "treats" so that you don't ever REALLY feel the urge to mess up. For me, the treats are those flip Greek yogurts with crunchy things, or Pure Protein Crunch Bites, a bag of Skinny Pop, or even just a big cup of hazelnut coffee-- I feel like I can love life when I can have those things on the regular! And I still get all my protein and Water in, so I know I'm doing okay and my weight loss is good. Most importantly, I stay away from bread and fries and cupcakes and the things that could really do me in.

5 months post op.
1. Don't underestimate how much time and help you will need in the beginning. I thought that since I recovered from the surgery so quickly, I would be fine to go back to being a mom/employee/wife/member of society right away. I ended up being tired to the point of depression trying to keep up with everything. You are basically going through withdrawal for weeks, living on Protein Shakes until you want to throw them at a wall and erase the memory of that fake sweet taste from your life forever. And you have little energy for handling life, especially if you are a person who is used to handling a LOT of balls in the air, which is so many of us! So take the time off, ask for help if you can, and be gentle with yourself.
2. IT WILL GET BETTER. I had major doubts about that for the first weeks. I hated life, and hated that I had the surgery, and thought I was doomed to be a freak who couldn't even eat meals with her family anymore. Ummmmm. Yeah, none of that turned out to be true.
3. Be strict with yourself and build discipline, follow your doctor's orders, but allow yourself regular "treats" so that you don't ever REALLY feel the urge to mess up. For me, the treats are those flip Greek yogurts with crunchy things, or Pure Protein Crunch Bites, a bag of Skinny Pop, or even just a big cup of hazelnut coffee-- I feel like I can love life when I can have those things on the regular! And I still get all my protein and Water in, so I know I'm doing okay and my weight loss is good. Most importantly, I stay away from bread and fries and cupcakes and the things that could really do me in.

4.5 months post-op.
1. Get yourself in a long-view mentality. Do not get fascinated with the quick drop at the beginning (or lack thereof). Do not obsess over what is happening with the scale on a daily or weekly basis - use it is a tool (and an imperfect one at that).
2. Use this time to change your habits. As much as possible, routinize your food. Move eating to a "background" activity (something that is done out of necessity, versus organizing activities/events around eating). Do as much as you can to completely eliminate unhealthy/non-nutritious food from your diet. Train yourself to love/crave/want nutrient rich food. Be prepared to find new activities to replace eating - walking, exercise, other hobbies and activities.
3. Prepare yourself for how you are going to communicate to others about your lifestyle change. You have the right to communicate however you choose - but think it through in advance and be ready. Be ready for people to have opinions (both positive and negative). Be ready for the overweight people in your life to be curious, jealous or inspired. Be prepared for some of your relationships to change because YOU will change.
4. Take on habits that foster discipline - making your bed every day, weighing/measuring your food, prepping meals, keeping a clean house - any habits that build or foster a sense of discipline where it has been lacking. There will be times when the discipline of keeping your word (if only your word to YOURSELF) will give you a lot of power when old cravings kick in.
5. Empower yourself - do not beat yourself up if you slip, if you make a mistake, if you have strong feelings, if people act like morons. You are making a choice for the quality of your life.
6. Create a point for the surgery that supports you. For me, looking better was not worth it. What was worth it was having my body by useful, make a difference for others and contribute to people for decades to come.

I totally understand this. I felt the same way on the beginning. I was down 80lbs and no one said much and then at around 100lbs people started saying things all the time. And then funny enough this last 34 I’ve lost everyone myself included can see so much more of a difference than from when I lost the first 100lbs. Sometimes people aren’t sure why your losing and are hesitant to say anything. People will notice. If nothing else the way you carry yourself and increase in Confidence which naturally comes with weight loss. Congratulations on losing that amount of weight. [emoji173]️

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.
Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

Also want to add that for me personally I had this surgery to live a normal life. A lot of people will say things like 'Oh don't eat that, it's not on plan' but for me this isn't a 'plan' this is my life. I'm not saying to go crazy and cram a sheet cake down your throat, but I don't want to deprive myself. If its my birthday and I want to have a tiny sliver of cake I'm going to work it into my calories for the day and do so and NOT feel guilt. If this surgery guaranteed I could never do that again I never would have done it. Part of the reason I didn't do RNY. It's a life style and a balance- for me anyway. Everyone is different. That's how I justify eating something like cake on a special occasion, just incase anyone was waiting to wag their finger at me lol.

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.
Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

Congratulations, sounds like you have done amazing!
I do think that our bodies get plateaus where they feel "happy", but you will push past that eventually if you keep trying as hard as you are. But do you need or want to? I think it's probably best to go with what your BMI is and what your surgeon says, and of course what you think looks and feels good. If you are a healthy BMI and your surgeon is happy, then I don't see why you would need to keep going unless you really want to.

I hate to sound long in the tooth, but I guess all of us on here as life long dieters have developed a mixture of scepticism (nothing else worked -why should this?), and low self image (I've messed up every other form of weight loss, eventually I must mess this up too), which have been ingrained and reinforced our whole lives, sometimes for me certainly, the biggest chalenge is my stomach was sleeved, but my mind wasn't.
Good luck on the journey x

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.
Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

So-- I have lost 70 pounds now and four sizes, and apart from my husband, mother, and brother/sister-in-law, nobody-- not one person!-- has made a comment about it. Not even a vague "looking good". It is so bizarre to me! I still have 40-50 pounds to go, but I see a huge difference when I look in the mirror.
Did this happen to anyone else? I know this is not why I had surgery, I'm not in it for the glory or vanity, but... weird, no? I thought someone would have noticed and/or suspected something by now...

I agree with the people saying if you don't use butter, it should be fine. (Once you are totally healed and it won't hurt staples, etc.) I enjoy a single size bag of Skinny Pop once in a while, when nothing else will do. Never more than once a week, I would guess, though I haven't been deliberate about it. The single bag controls my portion, so I don't eat more than I think I am. I haven't noticed any impact on my weight loss, it is still going very well.
That said, I am far enough out that I can handle that PLUS still get all my Protein and liquid in, which I am guessing is the most important part. A few weeks ago that wasn't the case. But my thought now is, as far as treats go, popcorn has very few calories, so if it doesn't interfere with liquid or protein intake, why not?
I have tried those Quest chips, too, and they are okay. Kind of like baked lays, but not as good. (That's right-- baked lays are GOOD in comparison.) But the crunchy is there, and I like the BBQ flavor.

Everyone here has great suggestions!
I just wanted to say hang in there-- the first couple of weeks were SO HARD, and I was hating my Protein Shakes by the end. I didn't get enough Protein in consistently until at least a month out, and it all worked out fine. Be gentle with yourself, keep sipping Water, and recognize that you are doing great.

that's sad. I've only been back to work 2 weeks now but everyone has commented about how I look good and asked how I feel. They're like my extended family and I've been there for 11 years. Is feel hurt if they didn't. So sorry. I agree there is probably some jealousy there. But just remember some people are @$$holes.