cruelirony

They finally set my surgery date and it is already pre-approved from my insurance provider. I cried a little, the date is further out than I had anticipated - but at least it is set and I am on my way! 

I've got a lot of mixed emotions, I mean it's such a serious surgery... and I am a single mother. My boys are 13 & 11 and I think am I being selfish to put myself at risk like this or am I being smart because I'll be fine and it's important to be healthy. Who can say? I feel in my heart that if I don't do it that it's only a matter of time before I just don't wake up one day. But it's scary none the less.

I guess that I am going to have 3 weeks of optifast - I go to the class for it in 20 days. Then September will be busy and I will have a ton of appointments. Pre-op ed class, exercise class & weigh in, pre-admission testing, final visit with the surgeon & on to October!

It's difficult not being around anyone that understands how I am feeling or what I am going through. I cry a lot.

I'm mean because I am in pain everyday and I feel like I've pushed almost everyone away. 

I can't wait for it to be better.