Having been here a few months now, it’s become obvious that it’s so different for people having weight loss surgery in the UK. Procedures here before WLS is different. Most of the people over the pond have it through their insurance and this means a lot of pre operation meetings/assessments/work, over many months. In some ways I feel this is good, as people get to learn so much before having their surgery. However that’s not the usual way here in the UK. You tend to learn ‘in the moment’. If you are eligible for WLS through the National Health Service, you may have to wait for a long time, 2 to 3 or up to 10 years unless you are at the stage where your weight is life or death. So, many fund it themselves.
I think this site is excellent for advice and support however it does mainly tend to show what happens in the States, where you can buy certain things and what’s available. So here’s a few things (not exclusive, would love it if others add stuff here too) I have learnt in my very short weeks since surgery.
PLEASE can we all add our own likes/dislikes, UK advice etc etc
Bariatric cookery books are excellent however there are many other options to learn about pre and post op foods. My dietitian is great but I have learnt so much through researching online. There are so many Bariatric Centres all over the world showing what you can eat pre ad post op and as long as you add a dash of common sense, it can work well. For example; if I read from a Bariatric Centre that I could eat tuna on day 3, I would be clicking the X asap!!
Centrum advantage chewable Vitamins are lovely and recommended by UK Dietitians for post bariatric surgery. Tesco’s have them on offer at the moment, 3 for 2. They have carbs, but balancing a few carbs for nice tasting Vitamins isn’t going to kill me for the time being.
Keep your fridge/cupboard stocked once you know what goes down well for you. Don’t spend too much in advance in case you don’t like it. I spent a lot on liquid Iron without asking around and my god, it was disgusting. I took it twice then threw it away. I could have asked here and go advice but I didn’t. (see below)
Use this UK forum to keep in touch with others in the UK to ask for and pass on advice. We aren’t the minority in the world for WLS however we are a small group here. Make friends here, they can be the best support you can ask for!
OVER TO YOU !!!
My issues are different but food issues just the same. My life revolved around food. Big family dinners and lots of food always available. Holidays filled with tons of food and Desserts and Cookies and pies. Seeking out the best restaurants referring to myself as a “foodie”. Not caring about how much I consumed or how many calories. Working so many hours then coming home and taking care of family with no time to take care of myself. No exercise, no control, no boundaries. I watched my husband die from diabetes and cancer and that shook me. I decided it was now MY time. To take care of ME. I need to take my life back. I have support but not from anyone that truly understands. Everyone says oh thats great but they dont really get it.
Warning -- I imagine this topic is triggering to a lot of people. It would be triggering to me outside of this community. But I want to create a space for people to talk about how their weights and bodies were treated when they were young and the impact that still has on them. I apologize if this already exists somewhere -- tried to do a search beforehand. Anyway.
One of the primary brain things I am working through leading up to weight loss surgery is my relationships with my parents and their relationships with my body when I was young. My parents were pretty restrictive with food. There were certain designated "no dessert days" and when I was a little older, "no carb" days. There was a lock on the pantry, not in a way like I never got enough to eat, but it sent a message. We always had a lot of diet-oriented foods at home. During the summer, my brother and I would each spend a week with my grandparents, where we could eat pretty much whatever we wanted. When we got home, my dad liked to weigh us, and laugh about how much we gained.
Both of my parents were always on a diet. There was a period of time before I was born that my dad was obese, and a period of time when I was in elementary/middle school when my mom was obese, but other than that, they've always been a 'healthy' weight. But -- always on a diet. Never thin enough. When I hit 10 or 11, my mom started wanting me to diet with her. When I was that age, I was not overweight, and did not become overweight until I was about 15 or 16. On my most generous of days, I think that she probably just was looking for a way to bond with me as I was getting older. That was the trauma of her generation, I guess; women bonded by talking about their bodies and dieting.
I started going to Weight Watchers with her when I was 12 years old. A doctor had to sign off, and despite my 'normal' BMI, he did, and I will never, ever forgive him or understand why he did that. I guess the early 2000s were another time. Between the ages of 11-14 I did eDiets, Weight Watchers, the Zone diet, the Master Cleanse, normal calorie counting -- etc. Not for health; all because my mom told me that if I lost 5 pounds, or maybe 10, or maybe 15, I "could be a model." Or because, as she told me one day, "No one wants to be that fat girl in high school who can't get a date to the prom."
On top of that, both of my parents, but particularly my dad, were always talking about other people's bodies. They were obsessed. They talked disdainfully about other relatives, especially my dad's sister, who were "yo-yo" dieters, whose weights kept going up and down. I helped out at my dad's small business one summer and went to lunch with him and two of his friends when I was maybe 13 years old, and they took turns guessing how much a table of women with obesity weighed, combined. My dad made it clear, over the course of many years, that he hated fat people, and I have no doubt this is still true -- he just doesn't say those things in front of me anymore, because I've become what he hates.
There are probably a dozen reasons why I gained so much weight in my late teens and through my 20s, but the connection I feel between eating whatever I want and freedom from my parents is intertwined in a way that is painfully clear. It is all about control, and watching what I eat still feels like they are controlling me. Eating whatever I want, until I got so overweight that it was taking a real toll on me, was how I felt in control of my own life. Now I feel like I have control over almost every area except food.
All of this is working together to form a really big anti-motivator for surgery for me, which is that the idea of making my parents happy (and grandma -- don't even get me started there) in the process of losing weight is absolutely repulsive to me. I am desperately looking forward to a smaller body so that I can so things that everyone else talks about here -- fit in an airplane seat, have more stamina, have an easier time exercising, reducing risk of weight-related health problems, finding clothes that fit that actually reflect who I am, etc. But I feel sick whenever I think about turning up at home in a couple of months, looking noticeably smaller, and them saying something about it. I feel like I'm not going to be able to handle it. I don't want them to say a gd thing about it. And I don't want to get into unpacking years of hurt with them. I'm already thinking of ways I can minimize my weight loss when I'm home; baggy clothes, etc. It is such a mind mangle to want the result of surgery so bad and simultaneously be dreading them.
I don't want them to ever think I did this because of them. I don't want them to ever feel that they won.
If you have stuff related to this you want to get off your chest, I hope you feel welcome to share those things here.
