B.Annie

Day 5 pot op and things are just getting better in the bloating/gas. I broke my own rule and weighed myself yesterday. I was up 17 pounds since surgery. That's hard to see even when I know it could only be from swelling, iv and bloating. This morning I physically felt a little less bloated and since I took a mile and a third walk last night, I'm sure it's due to that. I'll weigh myself today or tomorrow I'm sure just to see how much the extra walking helped. HW: 328 (02/21/17) SW: 271 (05/24/17) CW:

Oh, and not being able to pass gas, let alone have a real BM is a thing. Even with gas X and laxatives. Hmm. Just doing what I can. HW: 328 (02/21/17) SW: 271 (05/24/17) CW:

The bad taste in my mouth is a sweet one. It just taste like I am constantly sucking on a sugar cube. It's fine and dandy for water but for any other drink it makes it horrible HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Taste changes were immediate for me. Water tasted like it had sugar added to it ice tasted like some form of Crystal light even though it was pure water. Popsicles sugar-free that were given to me in the hospital were so sweet it burned my throat. Broth was so salty that I had to dilute it with hot water from the tea drink that they offered. Ending day four postop now and still the same thing. I was eating the sugar free Popsicles and broth prior to surgery so it's not like I wasn't having them for a long period of time. Still they taste horrible. Water still taste sweet and protein drinks are so bad that I can barely get them down. I have a heightened sense of smell which is pretty bad considering my sense of smell is very sensitive prior. I've never been picky on the taste of foods or drinks or textures. I'm not upset about this taste change I'm just surprised it happened so quickly. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Headache kills me in the middle of the night. Have had to sleep in the living room the last 2 nights because my cat is driving me insane in my room. Her litter box is cleaned at least 5 times a day but the smell is horrible after surgery. Also everything tastes different. It's all a good thing , just frustrating. I am meeting my water and protein requirements day 4 post op, but have not tried to walk more than around the house or grocery store yet. Those who can do miles a day after surgery are just special. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

My surgery is tomorrow and so far in the last 3 months on the dr monitored diet I have lost 53 pounds. I was feeling different and seeing some NSVs, but then when I took my preop photos, I was disappointed because I didn't see a difference from my starting photos. Until I put them side by side. The starting photos were after I had already lost 11 pounds, but were when I finally decided to proceed with this option. I have never let anyone but my husband and kids see this much of my body and I wasn't planning on sharing at this point, but then I realized that we are all here together for support. And dang do I need the constant reminder that I am doing this for a reason and I can't only show the good photos or else I'll still be hiding and denying. So here they are. Top line is starting photos 42 pounds heavier than the preop photos on the bottom line. PS all those bruises on my legs are just from having to inject heparin three times daily HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Haven't even had a bowel movement yet and I'm 4 days post op. When do I, your expect the first one to be odd because of the healing and passing of any blood that might have gotten in my intestines. Any after that might be odd HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

I had my surgery on 5/24 as well and won't even step on the scale until I'm feeling normal again. I know I gained weight with all the fluid I have build up and the gas is tremendous -even with walking it won't come out anywhere it needs to. I was warned that it would take a good 10 days to get rid of all hospital weight and by then I should lose it all plus be a bit lighter than I was when I went in HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

I'm in my third day post op and last night was by far the worse. The first 2 days post op were in the hospital and I felt amazing. Sore of course and gas that couldn't pass the normal way, but the thoughts and feelings about food weren't there at all and I felt like I was alive for the first time in decades. Last night was my first night home and I was suffering. The pain was unbearable - though I didn't take the normal amount by of meds because my headache was killing me and I figured the meds were a part of it. Gas had moved into my intestines and still couldn't come out naturally so I was in agony when I wasn't sleeping. I knew and was prepared for a "regret day" soon after surgery. So I intentionally chose to comfort myself with the thought that this too shall pass, but hopefully my immediate dislike for food will remain a bit longer. Everything still has a twinge of sweet to it - even water and ice taste like sugars been added. Protein in my water has to be forced down but it's doable. I was a big water drinker beforehand so getting in the required amount of water isn't going to be a problem for me. I just hate the taste of everything so sweet. My son brought home a chocolate ice cream and I literally dabbed my finger along the top and tasted some of the ice cream on my tongue and had to spit it out. I didn't want to eat any , it was not a craving , but because even the water tastes so differently after I had a surgery I wanted to see how other food might taste. That's the result that i was hoping for but wasn't counting on necessarily. I don't want to think about food the same way I used to and so far so good. Deep rooted food issues should be sorted out through therapy. I know that head hunger is when I feel hungry but not for anything - only something specific. Real hunger is when I think about my least favorite food and I'd happily eat it. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Thank you. Our experiences are similar. I took the shuttle down to the hospital and will not see my family until my husband picks me up tomorrow. It's actually really nice to have this time just to focus on myself! I love it and am mentally rejuvenated. Loving life today. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Thank you so much everybody for your support and encouragement. My surgery was yesterday and it went beautifully. Although the pain is worse than I expected ( I had had a C-section a few years ago I didn't think that it would be worse than that. )It is and that surprised me. But the nurses and staff are all just so great and meds are very helpful. There are a few other changes that I wasn't expecting so quickly. Like how water tastes like it has a hint of sugar in it now. I absolutely adore chewing ice for the first time in decades. And how I could only get through 3/4 of a sugar-free popsicle before I was full. They should be bringing me lunch soon but I still had a Jell-O left over for breakfast so three bites of that and I was done. The sugarfree Popsicles and Jell-O were so incredibly sweet that it was almost gagging. The Jell-O was the worst only because it didn't turn into a water consistency so it coded your mouth in this syrupy flavor and texture. The one annoying thing is that They've removed my catheter as of this morning and I feel that I have to go but when I said it just hasn't come out yet. Lastly I haven't had this many hiccups come on so easily in my life and the gas pain we all hear about hasn't hurt like I expected. I have some in my belly but it's not bad and taking deep breathes completely took away any in my shoulder within 2 hours. Everything so far has been so worth it. Not regrets yet. I was told of all keeps going this smoothly, they'll send me home tomorrow morning! HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Not sure what your current diet is, but I lost 3 pounds in a 6 day clear liquid only diet and another 3 pounds just last night after taking the required magnesium citrate drink. This was all the 1 week preop diet requirement for me as my surgery is this morning. Maybe something like that will help you. It sucks, but it's a necessary evil if it can get you where you need to be. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Thank you all! I'm always surprised at how much bigger I really am vs how I feel I look lol. joys of rose colored glasses

Anytime I've had a question become annoying I start flipping the question back on them when answering. To this question, I would probably start replying "good, thanks, and you?" It's not mean or offensive. It does get subtle points across. Especially to people who literally won't stop asking HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Bahaha exactly. No matter what happens, the outcome won't be pretty for me either. Just to boost you a bit, my husband loves my saggy droopy sad boobs. He doesn't want me to get a lift when all is said and done. He says they're squishy and fun. So no worries @casselliot, someone will adore them HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

I'm on day 6 of my clear liquid diet. I cannot have protein shakes - only protein powder mixed with a lot of water to make a fat free milk consistency. I can have sugar free popsicles and jello plus am allowed low sodium broth. My worst decision was not weaning myself from coffee before this diet. On days 1 and 2 I had such a bad headache that I couldn't function. That on top of the weakness and dizziness of not eating anything. I must admit that on day 1 around 2:30pm, I cheated and had 3 ounces of beef. It was glorious and immediately made me feel better for the rest of the evening. Then on day 2 I had a bite (literally) of a roast I had cooked and was able to stop there because, again, it made me feel amazingly better. I had hope that on day 3 I wouldn't cheat at all and I didn't. I had lost so much in the 10 weeks before this point that I wasn't worried about 3.2 ounces of food hurting my changes at surgery. The purpose is to shrink the liver and I'm sure losing 50 pounds had done a fairly good job at that. But I wasn't going to cheat again because I wasn't going to feel like needed to. Day 3 was better... and worse. I wasn't so hungry anymore and definitely not so dizzy or headachy. I was very cranky and continue to be so even on day 6. Now, it IS the week before my period which is normally my cranky time, so I can't be sure that it's solely due to lack of food. Here's what I've done so far to help any hunger and keep my sanity: I have at least 50g of protein in water throughout the day to keep me satisfied. When I get tired of everything tasting sweet, I make a nice hot cup of broth. I buy extreme low sodium because I can add a little bouillon which increases the flavor and salt (not as much as regular broth). I also get other spices out to change it up a bit. Here are some of my favorites - be creative. Onion powder and a sprinkle of steak seasoning to beef broth Curry powder to chicken broth I eat as many SF popsicles or jello that I can. It's weird for me because it seems so wrong, but it's really barely any calories (5) no sugar or carbs. So it's really just water and sf flavoring. I started out eating at least 6 each a day and then ended up reducing the amount as my hunger reduced. Yesterday I only had 2 popsicles and nothing else - besides my normal 12-18 cups of water a day (plus protein powder) I've journaled my thoughts multiple times a day. It helps to get it out so you don't explode and give up. I've cleaned and done more things around the house to keep the clock moving. Lastly, I made enough food on days 1 and 2 to have leftovers for days 3 and 4. Day 5 I told everyone to fend for themselves. Not having to cook for a family of 5 has saved my sanity. Hope some of this helps HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

lol ok. So plastic surgery where people make their lips look like balloons, face skin look 2 sizes too small for their skull, boobs that float, and butts that are so perfectly round they weeble wobble when they sit is ok, but losing weight isn't? I get stared at, whispered behind, and told straight to my face - not always in the most pleasant or appropriate ways - how I should lose weight (even at the gym!), but if I work out, eat healthier, then get surgery to help me the rest of the way, I'm vain??? Lol. Can't win. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Can you do edibles instead? My friend ended up going that route, even though smoking was quicker, the syrup she took was easier. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Yay! My jitters are being weird. It's like they're defective lol. I'm more disappointed in feeling like this is my last hope and knowing I'll be doing it on my own. Not nervous about surgery yet. Though I am anxious to get on my way. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

Since my surgeon moved my date up to the 24th of May, it's gotten real. I was on a protein shake diet the last week to prepare, not being told by the nut I had to do a clear liquid diet. My preop appt was yesterday and I was informed that not only do I need to start a preop liquid diet, but that my favorite protein drink (premier protein) is on the list of protein to stay away from. It's due to the calorie to protein ratio. I did get a lot of wonderful information though and even though I really don't want to take an extra trip an hour and a half down to the valley for hospital preregistration and testing, they did call me to get that scheduled for the 23rd. I packed For the hospital stay this morning and got my pre and post op prescriptions filled. I will be in the hospital for 3 days (surgery day plus 2 post op days), but Only packed a small travel bag (or large purse) for my stay. I scheduled a shuttle service to take me down to the hospital and my husband has prepared for picking me up and childcare while I'm gone. Yesterday when coming home from my preop appointment, I did exactly what I swore was unnecessary and had a McDonald's food funeral. It was pointless and only worth it mentally. Maybe some people feel they'll never be able to have that food again. For me, it was just a goodbye to my old way of eating. One last hooray for food after months of a very strict diet. Whats bothering me the most is that I've told no one except my husband about this. My kids know I'm going to surgery but they don't know why and I've had so many health issues that they're so used to it, they don't even ask anymore. I'm normally sharing my life with the world because I've never felt like I've had anything to hide. I must admit my sheer embarrassment at taking this route to help me lose weight. I know my extended family and friends would not approve or support me. In fact they would actively try to stop me or emotionally abuse me. So I'm content with keeping this secret except for the fact that it's now a secret that I have to keep for the rest of my life. I'm scared to death that it will come out in someway or another. And I'm ashamed I could not do this on my own. Ive tried to find an in person support group local to me, but have had no response to the one I found and called on. I guess I just want to know that I'm not the only one who thinks about food more than anything and some part of me wants to see that there are others who are struggling worse than me along with those better. It would let me see where I could could end up with any decision. Sorry for the long post - if you've made it this far haha. I guess I'm just venting everything on my mind.

I thought about OA online. I was hoping for in person meetings since i thought it would be more helpful. Online might be better than nothing at this point. There aren't any other support groups of this kind where I live. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

So I'm only in day two of my preop clear liquid only diet and yesterday evening I had 3 ounces of meat and was very satisfied for the rest of the night. My head hunger went away and I slept well. Today I have been struggling worse with the head hunger because I feel weak and wobbly. I was making dinner for my family as I enjoyed a cup of tea and wanted to see if the roast was seasoned well and cooked without being chewy so I had a bite. No more than that. All of a sudden i was very satisfied and wasn't so hungry or weird feeling. It's gotta be all in my head. I've lost 50 pounds just on the 2 1/2 month dr monitored diet, before starting the 1 week liquid diet, so I'm not worried that 3 ounces and a bite will stop the surgery. I'm worried because the "side effects" of cheating are so real. It just shows me that my brain has perfected its hold on me and that I need to find a new source of satisfaction. HW: 328 (02/21/17 CW: 278 (down 50 preop)

I did this exact same thing and am scheduled on May 24. Nerves are normal for a variety of reasons. My nerves are just stemming from a tinge of sadness I have with having to do this alone since my spouse can't get my surgery date off of work. Reading my skinny bucket list was helpful and definitely journaling to empty my thoughts HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

I always say that I live in the wrong country only because my boobs don't salute the flag, they bow to a king. HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)

^ thank you. Last time I said starvation mode was a myth, I got all sorts of interesting replies. lol. My thought, if starvation mode is real, why are people in third world countries dying from starvation? Or how can anorexics be so thin. If it were real, then what little those people would eat would turn to fat and make them gain. (Extreme example) HW: 328 (02/21/17) CW: 275 (preop 53# disowned)