Little Green

School has started and my fitness class on M/W has proved to be very difficult so far. When working out by myself I used to back off if my heart rate got around 140 but this class gets it up to 160+ and it stays there. It's a whole different reality to push myself to do something that's extremely difficult. It's caused some low self-esteem and low confidence, so I talked to my therapist about it. I realized that I have never really done anything, ever, that I wasn't really good at. Singing, violin, school, learning languages, even work stuff, etc. are all things that come naturally to me and I was good at them right away. This fitness class is something I am not good at, at all, and will need to continue pushing and working in order to improve. So it's natural for me to feel uncertain and strange, and my confidence will grow as I continue working. I'm glad I have realized that and it's made me feel better and more excited about continuing. My husband and I have been walking more frequently and today we went to the gym to use the weights. So I'm making good strides with fitness! Food is pretty stable, I've eaten some "bad" choices here and there but I've been able to come right back to nutritious food without feeling like I failed, which is an improvement in my mental state. I have my 3rd diet visit on Tuesday and I think I will have a 5-lb loss for the month. I'm starting to feel eager about getting to surgery and it doesn't seem so far off as it used to. Just about 3-4 months now!