gadgetlady

The wealthy film crew with wealthy Michael Moore stood by and watched a child die? Sick, vile, putrid, and greedy. How many poor families without insurance is Michael Moore sponsoring? That'd be a quick way to solve the problem -- everyone who's complaining ante up for just one other family. Problem solved!

Please don't misunderstand. I never said porn causes sexual violence. I said I heard a speaker who said there is not one single documented case of sexual violence for which the perpetrator did not use porn. It is not necessarily a causal relationship but rather a situation where the trigger of porn can enhance the propensity of an already violent person to act out in a particular way.

As I said, I was never abused but three very close friends were. I have two daughters, ages 7 and 10. When the first one was born, one of my friends (who had been repeatedly abused by family and strangers as a child) told me to always have my girls wear shorts under their dresses because the sight of little girls' underwear turns some pervs on. Ever since then, my girls wear shorts under skirts and dresses as a matter of course. It is part and parcel of their wardrobe; they are never without it and they don't think twice about it. They just always wear shorts. Another of my friends who was abused has a 10 YO son (her oldest) and she never lets him go to the bathroom alone. She'll stand outside the door and talk to him through the mens' room door, or sing, or ask him to sing, or whatever. So the short answer is yes. Not having experienced abuse myself but having talked to my friends about it repeatedly, it has changed what I do and certainly what they do. And the other short answer is also yes. How could sexual abuse as a child NOT affect the marriage relationship? Most especially if healing has not taken place. Sex is such a powerful thing and has so many triggers and learned responses. It goes deep into the psyche. Every sexual experience you have had, good or bad, has an effect.

{{{{Carol}}}} Do you have someone in your life you can talk to about this?

Thanks, Mandy. I was looking for something specifically for wood floors. I found it at EZ Moves furniture slides. Our furniture sliders make moving easy.. They have a new product which isn't even listed on their website yet that they made specifically for wood. I ordered it today, overnight shipping, so it'll be here tomorrow when the wood flooring is done. I'm so excited! No more yucky carpet :-D

Actually, I believe we should have the right to choose anything and everything we want to (regardless of whether it's a stupid or even life-endangering choice), unless that choice impedes on the rights of another person.

I haven't seen or heard of the study, but as an employer I can verify this information within my limited scope. I was shocked at how many employees of ours (all young) declined insurance because they didn't think they'd need it. It wasn't much out of pocket, either -- we picked up most of the expense! It wasn't until the employees started getting married and having kids that they'd then opt in for the insurance.

Thanks, ladies! That's not exactly what I WAS looking for but I found a company that makes a similar product and I called the manufacturer directly. I think they'll be a good substitute. They are the ones that QVC carries but QVC doesn't have the exact thing I need.

You'd think someone named "gadgetlady" would be able to find it but . . . I'm looking for a product I've seen in catalogs before but now I can't find it. It's a round glider or slider that you put under heavy furniture so you can move it easily. It's about the size of the circle made when you put your thumbs together and your pointer fingers together. It appeared to be dark wood or dark plastic and has some kind of wheels within it. It's not something that needs to be attached to furniture, like a castor, but rather something you just put the furniture on top of. I've searched "castor" and "glider" online and can't find it. We're replacing our floor and I have an EXTREMELY heavy desk and would like to not have to find 4-5 guys to help me out next time I want to move it. Thanks for any help anyone can provide!

I don't know that porn CAUSES sexual violence, but I think it is certainly a component of the problem. This isn't a perfect analogy, but I can't come up with another one at this late hour: alcohol doesn't CAUSE drunk driving, but all incidents of drunk driving involve alcohol. That being said, the speaker's statement was that there are no documented cases of sexual violence for which porn was not involved. I guess the way to disprove it would be to find someone who committed an act of sexual violence and didn't use porn. I think that'd be pretty tough to do. From what I've read and all sexually violent offenders I know about, all in-depth conversations with them have uncovered porn in their backgrounds, and they have often said it's the porn that escalated their perversion. I believe that violent movies and video games escalate all types of violence, not just gun violence. Just as in the case of the sex offender, it's not the trigger that CAUSES the offense, but rather the offeder's propensity to offend that is enhanced by the trigger. In other words, do I believe we should outlaw porn to stop sexual violence? No, I am extremely opposed to porn but I also believe in free speech. Should we outlaw guns to stop gun violence? I think you know my response to that. Do I believe we should stop violent people from harming others whether they use sex, guns, a baseball bat, or a Buick? Absolutely. Am I horribly discouraged and saddened by porn AND gun violence? Very much so. There is no justification for either. If we could raise a generation of children with positive moral values, a sense of family and community, and a committment to virtue, we might be able to overcome both. Sadly, I believe we are headed in the opposite direction.

I remember reading a statistic years ago that 1 out of every 3 (it may have been 1 out of 4) women experienced some form of sexual abuse as a child. At that time, I looked around me to my REALLY good girlfriends and there were 3 of them. Of them, it was 3 out of 3 who were abused. I was the only one who escaped, as it were. Monk, I admire you for your willingness to work through your situation, speak out, and help others. For every one who's like you, I'm sure there are many others who hide it inside and never tell anyone -- and never get healing. I was just at a conference this weekend and one of the speakers said there is not a single documented case of sexual violence for which the perp was not involved in pornography. We have become such a narcissistic, ego-centric, "me me me" world that it's no surprise people treat others as disposable and inconsequential.

I think the OP's real feeling about kids in general are in the title of the thread: stop having so many DAMN kids. There's more to every story . . .

I should clarify: if I follow the steps, will other sites for which I have passwords saved, etc. also be cleared?

Will this affect other websites with saved information?

I have a question for the Canadians here. If your taxes pay for all health care, why are there threads about Canadians going to Mexico for band surgery? Is it different in different provinces?

Hopefully you won't get the opportunity When is Fred Thompson declaring, anyway?

. . . or "here's what I wrote in my journal today; I'd like you to read it" . . .

Yes, I do. I don't think Bush is always right. In fact, there are a whole bunch of things I disagree with him on. On the flip side, I've never heard you disagree with your golden-boy, Clinton.

Nobody blamed Clinton. It was merely a point of comparison. Ergo, Clinton's always right. Hilarious!

Yeah, sucks. It never did resolve for me. Some days are better than others, and some days I can barely get down a shake until dinner. I'm going through a decision right now where I think I need a very slight unfill, despite the fact that I can eat just fine at night. I'm taking Prilosec (and equivalents) twice daily because of reflex. Anything I eat or drink during the day causes a lovely burning sensation in my chest and I just think it can't be too healthy to be popping those pills every day. The problem I have is if I can't get anything down, I tend towards junk, which definitely doesn't help me lose weight. I wish I had better answers for you. I don't think they're out there, because I've looked, too. Ah, well, it's better to be in this position than unbanded and able to pig out, right? Good luck to you!

Didn't we already do that? I'm claustrophobic anyway, so I never much liked being in a box.

Very, very true. We all assume things about others based on single (or multiple) opinions on controversial issues, but very often our assumptions are way off base. I've been accused of being someone who is so diametrically opposed to who I am it's ridiculous. I learned a long time ago that when people are going off the deep end on a subject, there's usually something behind the scenes that no one's aware of. For example, when someone rants about how intolerant Christians are, they usually have had a horrible experience in their lives with someone close to them (friend, family member, etc.) who they view as representative of the group as a whole. They then apply the (awful) model that that person created to everyone they meet who's a Christian. I'm sure you've experienced the same things in your life. I like to think I learned long ago never to put people in a box.

Wow. I appreciate that. I was actually surprised to get that post from you because it's not in your character (as far as I have seen from your previous posts). I wrote my last post after having been back and forth to the computer a few times, so I didn't see this one until just now. I'm sorry your son is giving you trouble. Isn't it amazing how our kids learn to push our buttons?

Thank you, MsDad. I must say throughout all of my experiences with people on this board with whom I disagree, I have always found your posts insightful and well thought out. I appreciate that you are so even-keeled :-)

I didn't realize the discussion was over. I assumed it would continue after my post and therefore what I said was not the "last word." I don't expect to alter your decision; you seem to be pretty firmly entrenched. So I'm happy to agree to disagree. Because you're not the only one reading this thread. And to offer another perspective. And because I received the email newsletter and planned to post it before I read your response. There are many reasons, and they don't always involve you.