LittleLizzieLilliput

The more weight you lose the less you miss your old life. What you are missing is some of the self-soothing things we did to make ourselves feel better, and the social interaction that comes with drinking and eating pub-food. But there is a trade off. Your health and life in exchange for beer and cheese. lol! Now I smoke weed rather than drink. Now I drink water when my friends are eating. But I'm still hilarious and don't need to be eating to have fun. It took me a while before I found my stride on that one. Life will resume for you, we find our new Normal. And it's surprisingly easy!! I totally understand missing your old life style!! That is where we found our comfort, where we soothed ourselves with food and fed our souls with fried stuff. lol! Or I did at least. It took me a good 3 months to find my New Normal. Some emotional ups and downs. But it's all so worth it!! Well, for me it is. Wearing a size 10 jeans, getting hit on by men of all ages, sitting in any seat I want regardless of ease or access, riding roller coasters, flying without fear, walking past windows but not ashamed of who I see, Joy...so much joy!! All those things are infinitely better and make me so much happier than me being able to eat a whole bloomin' onion in one sitting. There are trade offs. We lost our coping mechanism that was food, so our emotions and feelings are gonna be rough for a little while. Talking with a therapist is a good idea. Many of us are food addicts in one form or another, so there will be a psychological sense of loss, regret and fear for some of us. I was one. I cried for a week straight. (I'll give myself a little break here and admit that I had been deathly ill for 8 months prior to my surgery so I was drained emotionally and physically by the time I had my surgery. So my crying for a week had some additional ammo behind it besides not getting to binge on food. lol! Anyway, Just keep at it, you are doing great! And use us as your support! It's OK to have these feelings and to struggle with what we've done. But also keep focusing on your goals. The more you workout and can move more, the greater you will feel!

Nothing has changed in that regard for me. All I want is chocolate and carbs when I'm PMSing. lol!

that happens when I've eaten too much or too fast. I hate it!

I can pretty much eat whatever I want, I get pretty sick if I eat food that's too rich or too sugary. Beef doesn't sit well with me. I eat about 4-6 oz per meal depending on how you. Mostly what I eat is bacon and cheese for breakfast and rotisserie chicken for lunch snack and dinner with alternate options of nuts for my snack. I found that milk products can also give me the dumping syndrome. So I stay away from cheeses and milks and sugars and rich food. But to be honest, I'm perfectly happy with my rotisserie chicken LOL! And I can have small bites of things that will make me sick so if I want some ice cream I go and scoop out a couple tablespoons and I'm happy. I go out to eat all the time, I travel, in those cases I fill my plates up with small piles of protein and vegetables. If I'm eating with a lot of people and they knew about the surgery, and their close friends, they'll order something and I just steal from each of their plates. If I go out to eat and they don't know then I just order protein rich meal, pact the rest up for later. I found that when I focus on the principle of protein first, it's pretty easy to select the meals and stay on track. I also found that the less of a big deal I made about it the happier I am. Nobody needs to know why am ordering the rotisserie chicken, nobody needs to know why I am eating a small portion of it. I found a lot of people really don't care about what's going on my plate if I don't make it a big deal. lol

carbs are a diet killer for 80% of us. If you are lucky enough to no be negatively effected by carbs than great!!! But most of us need to avoid them. My doctor literally yelled out to me as I was leaving his office in my first post surgery appointment "And stay away from carbs!!! They'll ruin everything!" lol!

Oh wow!! I can't imagine doing this alone. You are so brave and so strong!! We are here to listen and help. These first weeks are the hardest and most emotional. This is a hard, arduous process that is the opposite of the Easy Way Out. We are badass warriors who do this despite being scared and sometimes alone. I want you to know that I truly believe you are a hero for doing this. We are saving our own lives and it's hard. You are gonna LOVE your life soon. You are going to be walking, then running and that's when we start to fly. You are going to feel great! This is a strange process, learning a new way of life that lets us live a life we only dreamed of. I'm so sorry you are feeling alone and sad, You are a freaking amazing wonder and please try to remember that.

Hmmm, I have no idea if this pain will be on par with the C-section. Is there something else that we can tell you, or some information that you need to help you be more comfortable with this? Because results are different for each person there's no way to really know what kind of pain you're gonna be in.

I wish I knew how great I would feel in 10 months, in six months, in four months after the surgery. I wish I had known how good I was going to feel in the long run, so that he didn't have to be so afraid beforehand or in the first few weeks after the surgery when I felt like I would never be "normal" again. Because the truth is, I feel more "normal" than I have since I've been an adult.

Here's the thing, it's going to hurt. Whether lot or a little none of us will know. I had the vertical gastric sleeve hiatal hernia and gallbladder removal. It hurt, a lot. Had morphine in the hospital and heavy narcotics at home. Let me ask you this, when you hurt yourself do you feel like you experience a lot of pain or can you withstand the pain pretty well? Because really it's more about how you handle the pain not how we handled our pain. So if you ever broken ankle or falling really bad or done something to have a lot of pain? If so, how did it go? Did you suffer a lot? Were you able to recover from it pretty quickly and just take over-the-counter pain meds or did you have to use Vicodin or something like that?

I was on some pretty strong narcotics for three weeks. And I generally can withstand a good deal of pain. I had the vertical gastric sleeve, gallbladder removal full, and hiatal hernia repair. Additionally, every single incision for laparoscopic surgery is essentially a stab and I had seven of those.

Hey there, I'm so sorry to hear about all your pain. 11 months ago I had the vertical gastric sleeve, gallbladder removal, and hiatal hernia repair. I was in pain for solid three weeks that pain you're talking about I had as well. My liver intestines and other organs were also adhered to my gallbladder in the tissue around. I had quite an extensive surgery as well. I wasn't able to get in and out of bed on my own for two weeks. My recovery was much longer than most that post here. It took me a full 12 weeks to get back to feeling remotely "normal". The hiatal hernia repair also somehow managed to make my stomach and esophagus feel like an alien was inside of it, every time I swallowed it just felt weird like something weird was going on. But that slowly went away. The pain under my left rib is still there every now and then, I believe that's from the hiatal hernia repair. Which is right at our diaphragm. I've lost over hundred pounds since the surgery, I struggled quite a bit the first few weeks, I went through an entire week of sobbing and regret, I came out the other side determined to make the best of the choices I made (and that includes becoming obese over 20 years, I keep having to remember that I did this to myself and that I am now trying to fix all my bad choices, and that's not easy). I suffered a lot of pain, walking was a chore, sitting and standing was a chore, I walked around with my hand on my abdomen for about six months. That's all the bad stuff, let me tell you all the good stuff!! I can now run, for 30 minutes straight. Without being out of breath. I can now do an hour of yoga every single day without being sore. I'm now wearing a size 10 pants and being hit on by men at least 10 years and me. The muscles in my arms stand out like I'm some American ninja warrior badass. I can fly without fear of sitting in the seat and being kicked off or deal with the embarrassment of the seatbelt extender not fitting or any of those things. I go clothes shopping at the mall. The MALL. I can find regular clothes in a regular store. I'm saving hundreds of dollars a month on groceries. Hundreds. I'm saying yes to invites to go out, to go away for weekends, and to generally be more active in my social life and social circles because I'm no longer ashamed of what I look like and I'm no longer physically incapable of doing the activities. I write on roller coasters. Because I fit in them and their amazing fun. I traveled back to see my family for the first time in years, reconnected with friends and loved ones that I hadn't for a long time because of my avoidance of travel and shame over my appearance. Joy, energy, time, friends, everything, everything is better. No, I can no longer have my chicken strips, but I can fit in the seat. No, I can no longer eat a burger because beef doesn't sit well with me, but I can literally run the 3 miles to the grocery store that has a salad bar. This is the opposite of "the easy way out". This is a physical, emotional, and mental battle. What we've done, I see this all the time, is one of the scariest things you can do regardless of what people think. The recovery is hard, the work and struggle is hard, we are such warrior bad asses for doing this despite our fears and the troubles. You are amazing. It's okay to have a feeling of regret or fear, I went through it myself. What I encourage you to do is allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, and then allow yourself to come out the other end seeing that a new life is possible for you. For all of us. You are so amazing for having done what you did, you have so much strength inside you. I know this pain is hard, and it's scary. Be sure to keep in contact with your surgeon but know that is most likely something that will heal and you will move past and through. Good luck to you, and sending you a huge hug. Please excuse the typos, I've broken my hand in a fall and have to use speak to text. Sometimes I mean to say thank you what is typed out is Thanksgiving. LOL

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/ Check out this blog, she's like our grand-puba of the pureed stage...

Pudding is super rich, it has milk, fats, etc. I would not have been able to handle that my first 3 months post op.

11 months post op and I get it all from Chicken and Bacon mostly. lol! I was never able to settle in on a protein supplement so I get all of mine via food and mostly Chicken and Pork. I basically eat cheese and Bacon for breakfast and then Rotisserie chicken the rest of the day and then veggies and lighter fair for dinner once I've hit my daily protein goals. But my main focus is always Protein and water. Then I allow myself some beansprouts w/bacon or zucchini sauted, Greek Salads with feta and olives...yum! that has protein as well. I try to make sure everything I eat has a fair # of protein.

I had my first popcorn after 6 months recovery. The kernel shells alone are terrifying to a new tummy. It is a slider and it is a carb so it's not to be eaten often for me. I'm still 20-30 lbs away from being moving to maintenance so very little popcorn for me at this point.

Oh I'm so sorry, yes, it is dangerous. I'd call my surgeons office and get a recommendation from them to see a psychiatrist for eating disorders. It's a scary thing and this process is the opposite of the "easy way out". It can trigger a lot of issues for us as our method of dealing with emotional pain is through food and control. I'd get into therapy ASAP if I were you. I'm sending you a huge hug!

I think a day or two after her initial post she posted in here again stating she was feeling better.

If you continue to feel a constant sense of hunger then maybe talk to your surgeon about increasing your PPI. I had to take one in the am and one in the p.m. for the first three months postop.

I skip the cooking right now due to summer heat, I just go buy a rotisserie chicken and carve 4-6oz off and devour. I LOVE chicken...and I eat the skin...tee hee!!!! To me it tastes so amazing and is all protein AND it's soft meat so easy to digest.

At 3 weeks I cried for a week straight. I had an Endocrine specialist appointment and the nurse was hounding me on my elevated numbers. The problem was it took me hours to drink a protein shake so there was no way to take my blood sugar outside of morning fasting. I explained it to her but she wasn't a native English speaker and just kept asking me over and over. I just broke down in tears, I tried to explain and then I said I can't eat anything - just a protein shake, I'm trying to get all my numbers, and I'm trying to keep everything under control, I can't do it all! I then couldn't stop crying, the doctor came in and I tried to talk and I would just cry. Then I drove back to work and I couldn't stop crying, then I got my ship together as much as possible and went into the office, close my office door and started crying. I worked hardly at all that week and it was my first week back. I cried at night, I cried in the morning, I felt like I was never going to be normal again, what did I do to myself?!?! This went on for a full 5 to 7 days, at this point one of the items on my acceptable food list was mashed potatoes. So I heated up some of those mashed potato discs in the bag. For the first time I ate something that wasn't a protein shake or puréed meats or some other food product that comes in a powder packet. I allowed myself some carbs, and a little fat, and I sat down with my best friend and just cried & talked. I realized a couple of things: #1 it's okay to have total breakdown for an entire week and then bounce back. #2 it's okay to eat the items on your approved food list even if it seems too good to be true or something you should stay away from #3 this process is an emotional, mental, and physical ordeal, it's the opposite of "the easy way out". So just know you are a freaking warrior bad-ass, don't anybody shame you for feeling a sense of regret. It's temporary, it will pass and it's OK to talk about it.

I stick with the basics, focus on protein, vitamins and water. So I eat mostly: bacon,egg,cheese in morning, rotisserie chicken for lunch/dinner, nuts/soft veggies/cheese for snacks. Even when I was on the full diet it took me a long time to ease into what I'm eating now. My stomach took a long time to heal so it took a lot of trial and error to find what works best for me. And even now and under a year I'm still slowly trying to add things in. I don't eat veggies with hard rinds, I can't do beef very well, things are just different. But it's fun to try, little bites here and there see how it goes. Okay good

are you on a PPI? When I was first post op I thought i was hungry, ended up it was acid.

I agree with those stating the acidic effect. My dad had an ulcer rupture while at work, vomited blood everywhere while waiting for the ambulance. He almost bled out. My dad drink for pots of coffee a day. I stopped drinking coffee that day.

for me a goal weight is totally arbitrary and unrealistic. Ive been obese since I was 19, the idea anyone would know what is a good weight for me is unrealistic. I have pounds of extra skin, Ive never been at a healthy weight as an adult and we have no idea what i will look or feel like as I get closer. Now that I'm in striking distance of the mid to low 100's i'm setting a size goal of size 6. We have NO idea what that means in lbs and I feel it's healthier for me to not set a goal weight that I may not be capable of meeting.

You might need to increase your PPI's. I have to do two a day (1am/1pm). check with your surgeon. This is the most difficult time, shorty you will be living life like you will not believe. It's not magic, it takes work and dedication but I've lost over 200lbs through this process and a previous program. My life is so much better now, its crazy!! give your self and your body a break. You need time to heal and recover. I wish you the best of luck and success!!