bypasshoney

Afternoon all!
I'm writing this on a super awesome day: my one-year post op date! This day last year, I weighed 387 pounds and was in recovery after my bypass. This day two years ago, I weighed 450 pounds and saw very little hope of making it past 30. Today I am 207 pounds and perfectly healthy. How times change.
I've learned so, so much in the last two years since I started down this road towards health and happiness. Some of the things I learned were tough lessons, some of them were illuminating and freeing, but all of them together have brought me here. "Here" is a place I never in a million years thought I could be. "Here" is an entirely different Abby, an Abby I thought was sort of a childish dream, or maybe a fairy-tale I told myself to comfort myself during the painful years I spent being obese and incredibly unhappy and uncomfortable.
I still struggle every day with the person I was, the person I am, and the person I am becoming. I struggle to regain my self-image, and to regain an understanding of who I am outside and inside. I struggle with the social and emotional changes that have happened since my surgery, namely the way that people suddenly treat me like a human being because I am no longer painfully obese. I struggle to forgive the cruelty that I experienced at the hands of so, so many people, including my own family and friends. Including myself. I struggle with food cravings occasionally, and with the gravity of the change my personality and habits have gone through. I struggle with that tiny voice of fear in the back of my mind that tells me I couldn't possibly keep this goodness up. I struggle not to compare myself to others and I struggle to keep clothes on my back as I continue to drop sizes. Every day is a struggle.
Every day is also a miracle. I would do this again, and again, and again... forever if I needed to, if it would bring me back here every time. This road has been a little bitter, a lot of sweet, and a wilder ride than I could have possibly imagined or prepared for.
And it ain't over yet!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you here who have been a part of this journey with me, whether you realized it or not. Thank you to all the vets who slapped some sense into me and the kind strangers who listened during times when my anxiety was out of control or when I was feeling so bad about myself that I felt hopeless. You all share a little piece of my victory with me. I wouldn't be here without you and the enormous host of other people outside of this site who have supported me and encouraged me and been proud of me the whole way. THANK YOU. I have a life now, and a future that simply did not exist for me two years ago.
I am ecstatic to be able to share these pictures and my progress with you all today. I love you all.
<3 Cervidae (Abby)
Stats!
Starting weight: 450 lbs
Surgery weight: 387 lbs
Current weight: 207 lbs
Weight lost since surgery: 180 lbs
Overall weight lost: 243 lbs
Jean sizes lost: 20 (size 34 to size 14)
Waist inches lost: 28 in
Hips inches lost: 35 in
Neck inches lost: 4 in
Shoe size lost: 1.5 sizes

.