blizair09

I didn't have a lot of aversion to most foods, but what I did have to do was begin looking at food as fuel and choosing things to eat based on what I needed and not what I wanted. Even when I didn't really like something so much (protein shakes as an example), I just consumed it because I needed it for my macros. That helped me get my mind in the right place.

And I agree that your tastes do change as the days and weeks go on. If you hate something now, you may end up loving it later. (That is the way salmon worked for me.)

Good luck!

45 minutes ago, Dabearo said:

Blair! I just want to reach out to you give you a big ole bear hug. I'm still a big ole bear. I've missed your post on this site and have wondered where you have been. You always have great tips.

You have a lot rolling around in your head and life. Take one day at a time and when that does not work take one hour at a time. I remember having to do this when my mom was dying. I'd have to think and remind myself, "this is all I can do and think about at this split second" and that was ok and I got through it. some days second by second.

Super hard and super sucks. New chapters are a good thing ( Martha Stewart's voice)

Thank you for the sweet message! Every day, I am finding that things are getting better, and I am rebounding from all of it much faster than I have expected. I have made some cool new friends in my new city, and we had one hell of a fun weekend last weekend. I met tons of people. Being single is not going to be a bad thing at all. In fact, I'm going to rock it!!

Are you scrambling them? I'm sorry that they disagree with you. I have a jumbo scrambled egg with 2 oz of chicken and a slice of American cheese every morning for my first meal. It's a great way to start the day.

If they aren't working now, they may in a month or two. It is amazing how things change in the months after surgery.

Good luck!

Mine is insane. It's like I'm 19 all over again!

I eat 20 carbs or less per day. I've been doing that for almost 17 months now. I'm almost to goal, but even in maintenance, I don't see them going over 50. I'm used to this way of eating now, and bringing them back in any meaningful way will be too much of a slippery slope for me.

Google "three week stall." That is probably what you are going through. Stick to your plan, make meeting your Protein and Water goals your full-time job, and the scale will move in its own time.

Everything about this journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Remember that!

Good luck.

I am 10.5 months post-op. I have lost 209 pounds so far. That puts me 4 pounds from a normal BMI and 8 pounds from goal. This journey is the best thing I have ever done for my health and well-being!

Birth :-)

Weight has always been a struggle for me. I was the fat kid, the fat teenager, the fun fat guy in college, etc., etc., etc. I actually remember being on a self-inflicted diet as a tenth grader in high school, but my first significant weight loss (100 pounds) came as a junior in college when my parents and I did Phen-Fen. I got down to 175 and stayed there (as in below 200 pounds) for about a year.

I am now in unchartered territory as I have only weighed less than I now do during that one small window at age 21. I feel great, and that is the best part of it all (although the "fringe" benefits are certainly nothing to laugh at...). I am so thankful for this journey, for my sleeve, and my new lease on life!!

4 pounds until "normal" BMI and 8 pounds until goal. (But I have been away for a week and not weighed, so I may have lost another pound. We'll see in the morning!) Not bad for a guy who weighed 400 pounds 16 months ago!

I loved my psych eval. It was a good opportunity to talk to a completely objective professional. I had already done a good bit of work on getting my relationship with food in the right place by that time, so she just affirmed what I was doing, gave me a stamp of approval for the insurance, and we moved on. It was a great experience.

How many calories are you taking in per day? Carbs? Protein? How much Water do you drink each day? Do you track everything you eat and drink? What do you do for exercise each day?

How far out are you? How many calories are you taking in per day? Carbs? Protein? How much Water do you drink per day? Do you track everything you eat and drink? What do you do for exercise?

Sorry for all the questions, but it is hard to give advice without knowing more about what is going on with you and where you are in your journey.

5 hours ago, Joann454 said:

I've wondered where you'd been. Our stories are eerily similar (minus the WLS at the time).
I was in a ten year relationship and she ended it. I too was grateful and heartbroken at the same time. I moved in with my parents at 47 because we decided to sell the house. My mom was diagnosed with cancer right after. All of it ended up being such a blessing in disguise. I was able to take care of my mom until she passed, shortly after I met the love of my life and remarried. It's scary and exciting all at once.
I hope your story has a wonderful next chapter. xo

Thanks for your reply. I like the idea of the next chapter. And the exciting part is all the possibilities for it. It starts this weekend!

11 minutes ago, K_aane said:

I commend you on taking charge of your life and making the best choices. Even though they were hard, you did the right thing. In this life of which we only get one, you must remember this: I can't make anyone else happy unless I am happy." Put yourself first in this new journey you are embarking on. Take your time, savor the moments, be blessed by those who come into your life. Take the time to pamper yourself and be good to your body. You have done an amazing job of transforming it into a healthy version, do not lose sight of that. This is something I say to people looking for advise in life. (I am 57 and married 38 yrs to my best friend so I am allowed, lol) and this goes for straight or gay. "Do not settle." Set your bar on what you want in life and what you are going to give. Your next partner should be able to meet or exceed that bar you set." Go into your new chapter of life with your eyes wide open and embrace it all. All things happen for a reason, to lead us to where we are suppose to be at each given moment. Yeah I might sound like a hallmark card but it's true. Follow your heart and do what you love and what makes you happy.
I hope this helps. Btw, hi from a native of New Orleans, now a Northshore resident.
Huggsss

HW 274 SW 263 GW 125 GASTRIC SLEEVE 7/21/17. Height 5'1"

Thank you for this. And you are right. It's a period of transition, but I will be okay.

I love SE Louisiana -- always will. I'm getting back to NOLA for Labor Day weekend, and I can't wait!

1 minute ago, RedOrangeSunrise said:

PS Oops, this showed up on my timeline and I didn't notice the forum. Sorry for butting into the LGBT space. Still wishing you the best. Straight ally, out.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using BariatricPal mobile app

Thank you for your reply. The LGBT space seemed to be the best place to put it, but I welcome input from anyone and everyone.

Have a great Thursday!

Hey guys,

For those that haven't heard my story before -- I started my journey March 21, 2016 at 397 pounds with a six month insurance-required diet program. I lost 99 pounds during that six months and weighed 298 on surgery day, September 28, 2016. This morning, I weighed 188 pounds. I am 4 pounds away from a normal BMI and 8 pounds away from my goal of 180 pounds.

Two weeks ago this Saturday, my partner and I ended our relationship after 8.5 years together. Things have been bad for a while and I just never wanted to admit it. He was mad at me for one thing or another every day, and that is no way to live. He actually broke up with me, because as the one of us who makes most of the money and has most of the resources, I would have felt like I was abandoning him. While I am heartbroken, I know it is for the best. I actually owe him a debt for doing it; I never would have done it and would have gone on being unhappy. While the massive weight loss isn't the primary problem, it was a problem for him. He lost about 115 pounds himself (with no surgery), but has gained back about 30 pounds over the past 6 months or so. I probably now weigh 35 pounds or so less than he does. Apparently, much of our identity was wrapped up in me being bigger than him. I knew that, but I didn't know at the same time.

So now, I become a 41 year old single gay man who hasn't been out in that "scene" for over eight years. It's a bit overwhelming. I have completely overhauled myself physically, and I am dealing with the emotional consequences of both that and ending a very long relationship. In mid-June, my ex and I moved from the French Quarter of New Orleans to the outskirts of Huntsville, AL to be with my parents for a little while as my dad has been battling cancer. So, I know no one here. While I am excited about getting back out there, it really is going to be a cold start -- going to the bar by myself and trying to meet people. Admittedly, I am very outgoing, and a good time, but getting this process started is incredibly daunting.

The funny thing is that food consumption is not even an issue. Since this happened, I have actually been eating a little less than I was. (I had gotten my calories up between 1600-1700, and I haven't cracked 1200 in days.) That will bounce back, I'm sure. It is nice to know that I have my food issues under control, and that such a life trauma wouldn't cause problems.

Enough rambling. Does anyone have any advice? I'm flying to Orlando this weekend to go to a friend's birthday party. I have tons of friends two hours away in Nashville (where I went to college and grad school and where I lived for 15 years). I am always welcome with any of them, but I need to be in Huntsville right now which means that I need to make friends here and build a life here. I don't think traveling every weekend will be healthy long-term.

Thanks for reading!

Blair

I suggest that you get back to basics. Get your calories down around 1200-1300 per day; get your carbs below 20 grams per day; get your Protein around 80-100 grams per day. Eat dense protein every 2-3 hours, and little else.

That should get you on your way.

Good luck!

On 8/1/2017 at 2:27 PM, Berry78 said:

Uhhh... yeah.. no.

Obesity isn't my fault, or your fault. It is a problem with society, the food supply, technological advancements, and the like. Chemicals, hormones, drugs.. our bodies are bombarded from conception with so many unnatural substances that we aren't adapted to.

Surgery is our one opportunity to level the playing field. It's a shame only that you perceive this as anything other than that.

This.

Obesity is a medical issue -- plain and simple. No one would feel shame about seeking treatment for cancer. No one would feel shame about seeking treatment for a broken bone. And no one should feel shame about seeking treatment for obesity.

Embrace the surgery. Do what you are supposed to do every day. Be successful. But most importantly, be healthy and happy.

All the best to you!

My surgeon's staff had to keep extensive records of the six month diet program. I know my insurance wouldn't have accepted Weight Watchers or anything other than working with a physician. I would just ask the insurance company. They are the ones with the answers.

Good luck!

Just now, Berry78 said:

Awww, come on guys, I escape my bitchy household into the relative tranquility of BP, and I get this? Sigh...

I have to say that this BariatricPal is the bitchiest part of my life.

I can't complain about that, I suppose...

16 minutes ago, Greensleevie said:

Also, I work in addiction. You know the first indicator I see when I know someone is going to relapse?

They swear they are NEVER going back to drugs or alcohol.

They don't have enough insight to understand that absolutes and extremes just don't work in the real world with real world challenges. They get blindsided when they happen and deal with them the only way they know how....resorting back to their old self destructive behaviors.

The more successful clients understand that although they can't promise they won't ever go back, they will work their programs the best they can, use the tools they've been given and deal with the challenges they know will happen as they come in order to be successful. They don't assume to know it all, either.

This is a post I can get on board with. (And, for the record, I agree with just about everything you usually post, but the tone of your post from earlier even bothered me a little bit.)

Yes, I am only almost 10 months post-op, but I did embrace a Keto way of eating for my entire six month pre-op diet program, so I have been eating this way for 16 months now. And my habits are in fact habits and the way I plan to continue eating long-term.

Is my approach "extreme"? Not to me, but I can see how others think so. I have watched my dad (2005), mom (2013), and brother (2014) have the bypass, sleeve, and band respectively. My dad and brother have gained back every pound they lost. My mom has gained about 30 pounds. And even they will admit it is because they immediately went back to eating just like they did before. I have watched them do it (even as I have been on my own journey).

Can I predict the future? No, I can't. But, I can tell you this -- I am not going back there. If that means 20 carbs a day for the rest of my life, it will just have to mean that. I have made peace with this way of eating, embraced food as fuel, and learned to manage stress in other ways.

One guy called me too serious on a thread earlier this week. Some may call me idealistic or extreme. And, in some eyes, maybe that is true, but I'll be damned if I go back to where I began ever again.

Mine was that picky. I scheduled the six appointments in the very beginning, put them on my work calendar, and let my entire team know that my schedule was not flexible on those dates. Everyone was completely supportive of my journey (and I was 100% transparent about everything from the beginning), so I didn't have any issues.

Everyone's experience with loose skin is their own, but I'll tell you my experience. I have lost 206 pounds (11 to go until goal). Yes, I have some loose skin on my belly, my upper underarms, and my inner thighs, but all-in-all, it is not bad at all.

I might look into plastic surgery on my arms later on (after about a year of maintaining my weight), but I might not. I am amazed that it isn't that bad, but it isn't.

You'll just have to see how it goes. Some people really struggle with excess skin, and others don't as much.

You've lost 16 pounds in about a month. That isn't slow at all. To put it in perspective, I weighed 400 pounds when I started my journey, and I believe that I lost 15 pounds that first month. Everything about this journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

On 7/14/2017 at 7:36 AM, chamilton0323 said:

No it was never mentioned to me at all. I was under the impression that I would be losing a pound a day for the first month. All I have been eating are Protein Shakes and 1/2 cup of Soup a day. I had a popsicle once and I get on the scale the next day and have gained a pound. It's just frustrating and scary. I went through all this and a stinking popsicle I gain a pound. It's just like what is going to happen when I start eating food... I'm sure I'm overreacting but it just makes me nervous.

I'm curious -- did your doctor tell you that? I weighed 400 pounds when I began my journey, and I didn't lose 30 pounds in the first month.

What kind of medical professional tells patients that kind of thing? Seriously.

Stalls are so common in this journey. As far as your what-to-do question, you have to find that grit, drive, and perseverance inside of you to do what you need to do to be successful. That's why the mental battle is the most difficult part of this journey.

Good luck!