ella37

People need to stop putting so much emotion into this topic. Emotional words like "sad", "happy", "light at the end of the tunnel", etc are irrelevant to me as I don't "feel" any of those things. This is about intelligent, factual education. People need to understand that it is possible to dislike the results of this surgery for reasons they may not have thought of. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App I guess I'm not sure how to separate that out. You had an irreversible procedure that is causing you suffering and regret. As I, and most other responders, are compassionate people we immediately feel sad for someone in that position. When we further read that someone seems very hopeless about a process that they're not very far into, it's natural for us to try to remind them that regret might be temporary and to try to remain objective. We don't want to say, "you're right, you messed up big time, there is no hope that you'll ever stop regretting this", especially when that might not be true. If you're going to post about your disappointment on a public forum then most people will try to offer solutions that could be helpful. You apparently don't want any solutions and are enjoying just living in regret, so ... I don't know what else to say. Best of luck.

Also if you've accepted it and are at peace then why do you seem so intent on letting everyone know how miserable you are?

You said, "Not really sure why it is so important to everyone that I feel differently about my mistake. Why can't I feel as I feel without people spending so much time trying to convince me I will be happy about this later. I have accepted it and am moving on with life but I should be allowed to be me without people trying to change me." Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Because the idea that someone had an irreversible procedure done and is filled with regret is truly sad. They feel bad for you and know that your complications might be coloring your experience thus far. Self fulfilling prophecy is a real thing, if you just decide that this sucks and you'll never be happy about it then that probably will happen. Why does it bother you so much to have people say that it might not bother you forever? Is the idea of making peace with this decision somehow stressful to you? You can go ahead and have your feelings about your mistake, but others can also share their stories and try to help you see a light at the end of the tunnel. I shared a surgical story where I had IMMENSE regret during the recovery period and then it went away. Why are you so determined that you have to regret this forever?

I was really glad to see this thread. At first my husband kept saying that I'd lost weight in the past and if I'd just stick to it and not give up and regain then I wouldn't need this. VERY frustrating. He's being very supportive now but it was tough to try to explain it to him. I don't even have a surgery date yet and I've decided I'm not telling anyone else. I told my closest girlfriend (who has never weighed more than 110 lbs) and she got pretty judgmental. She told me that I shouldn't "give up" on myself like this. That she has faith in me, etc etc. I know that she was trying to be nice but how is this giving up on myself? Why was everyone so encouraging during my cycles of crazy starvation diets, pills, and manic levels of exercise to relose weight that I'd just regained? It's because of the stigma attached to weight. If you're unable to stop drinking, smoking, doing drugs, even masturbating, then we rush you off to rehab and applaud how brave you are for taking steps to get help and recognizing you can't do it on your own. I really hope that in years to come the dialogue about being overweight will change and people will start to recognize that it's more complicated then a bunch of lazy people who can't put down the fork.

So basically you just no longer need as many calories? You can feel normal on a much smaller amount?

I actually did seek out your thread because you responded to my thread about recovery by saying you wished you hadn't done it, and then when I asked why you simply said, "I want things how they were before", or something very close to that. Since I am pre-op I was very curious. I don't have any experience with the surgery or the recovery or any of it, so I'm not coming from that point. I think these people are actually trying to help. When you say that you'll "never" stop regretting it after only 9 weeks then other people who maybe felt that way at 9 weeks are trying to encourage you by letting you know it could change. I had a DCR surgery a few years ago and got Iron poisoning by swallowing too much blood. I have literally NEVER been so sick in my life. It's the only time I've lain in a hospital bed and not cared if I was dying. The point is that you can't be objective when you're suffering and in pain. Now that it's over, those few days (as AWFUL as they were) were worth the new tear duct they drilled through my nose and the end of constant and painful eye infections and pus leaking out of mine. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees. Even if you are right and this surgery was the wrong decision for you it makes perfect sense that from an objective standpoint your complications are coloring the entire experience so far. I think that you can indeed appropriate some blame on your doctors. I've done most of my research on my own and online and have already read about many of the possible complications. After 2 years they certainly should've been brought to your attention. Just be open to the possibility that once things settle down and the post surgical complications ease up you may feel differently.

hahahaha! i love that. thanks for all the great advice!!

oh man, no liquid/purees? how did you manage to get away with that? lol

Thanks so much everyone!

For clarity, I definitely regret it but not because of pain. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Can I ask why?

Thanks so much everyone! I know it won't be easy but it's nice to see that it is not always a total nightmare. I will be working with a therapist so hopefully that will help with the mental changes that need to happen post op. I'm glad to hear that no one regrets it!