ReddGypsy

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I read it a few months back and revisiting with a reply and saying out loud that I have a problem. I've been transparent with my BF, fam and close friends that I'm struggling...but hiding how bad it can get. Last night was a sure sign of transfer addiction and will be seeking help.
I'm 5.5 years out and over the last two years have gained 50lbs. I stopped working out and have been holding around the same weight the last 6 months. I can't seem to get the ME back that was so focused.
My Dad passed away in 2019 and to cope, I started leaning on wine and drinking (as did my Siblings) Then during 2020 covid, I was drinking during the week, sometimes alone when my SO was at work and often a bottle of wine all by myself.
I was able to get back some control in 2021, but find myself sneaking drinks and hiding my evidence. Last night, for no good reason I had wine delivered and drank 1.5 bottles of wine after BF went to work.
I know the next steps will be therapy to figure out the triggers and coping skills. Again, thanks for posting your story to inspire me to address this problem before it's too late. I worked so hard to be healthy and I'm sabotaging my future self.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I read it a few months back and revisiting with a reply and saying out loud that I have a problem. I've been transparent with my BF, fam and close friends that I'm struggling...but hiding how bad it can get. Last night was a sure sign of transfer addiction and will be seeking help.
I'm 5.5 years out and over the last two years have gained 50lbs. I stopped working out and have been holding around the same weight the last 6 months. I can't seem to get the ME back that was so focused.
My Dad passed away in 2019 and to cope, I started leaning on wine and drinking (as did my Siblings) Then during 2020 covid, I was drinking during the week, sometimes alone when my SO was at work and often a bottle of wine all by myself.
I was able to get back some control in 2021, but find myself sneaking drinks and hiding my evidence. Last night, for no good reason I had wine delivered and drank 1.5 bottles of wine after BF went to work.
I know the next steps will be therapy to figure out the triggers and coping skills. Again, thanks for posting your story to inspire me to address this problem before it's too late. I worked so hard to be healthy and I'm sabotaging my future self.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I read it a few months back and revisiting with a reply and saying out loud that I have a problem. I've been transparent with my BF, fam and close friends that I'm struggling...but hiding how bad it can get. Last night was a sure sign of transfer addiction and will be seeking help.
I'm 5.5 years out and over the last two years have gained 50lbs. I stopped working out and have been holding around the same weight the last 6 months. I can't seem to get the ME back that was so focused.
My Dad passed away in 2019 and to cope, I started leaning on wine and drinking (as did my Siblings) Then during 2020 covid, I was drinking during the week, sometimes alone when my SO was at work and often a bottle of wine all by myself.
I was able to get back some control in 2021, but find myself sneaking drinks and hiding my evidence. Last night, for no good reason I had wine delivered and drank 1.5 bottles of wine after BF went to work.
I know the next steps will be therapy to figure out the triggers and coping skills. Again, thanks for posting your story to inspire me to address this problem before it's too late. I worked so hard to be healthy and I'm sabotaging my future self.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I read it a few months back and revisiting with a reply and saying out loud that I have a problem. I've been transparent with my BF, fam and close friends that I'm struggling...but hiding how bad it can get. Last night was a sure sign of transfer addiction and will be seeking help.
I'm 5.5 years out and over the last two years have gained 50lbs. I stopped working out and have been holding around the same weight the last 6 months. I can't seem to get the ME back that was so focused.
My Dad passed away in 2019 and to cope, I started leaning on wine and drinking (as did my Siblings) Then during 2020 covid, I was drinking during the week, sometimes alone when my SO was at work and often a bottle of wine all by myself.
I was able to get back some control in 2021, but find myself sneaking drinks and hiding my evidence. Last night, for no good reason I had wine delivered and drank 1.5 bottles of wine after BF went to work.
I know the next steps will be therapy to figure out the triggers and coping skills. Again, thanks for posting your story to inspire me to address this problem before it's too late. I worked so hard to be healthy and I'm sabotaging my future self.

I'm 5 years out (2016) with GS and alcohol has been a sporadic transfer addiction since 2019 after my Dad passed away, then 2020 Covid...relationships...2021 basically LIFE to 2022. Ok, that's sugar coating... I saw it becoming a minor issue in late 2018, however, I was still working out and maintaining my weight loss.
I made comments on another thread late last year about alcohol and transfer addictions after a bad night and it's now Feb 2022.
I do ok..."for a while"...and then? Boom. Last Thursday I had a horrible regression into two bottles of wine, where ALL my feelings came out. They were Good, Bad and then UGLY. I'm not sure who that person was and I know that version of me can't live like that anymore.
I got all my bloodwork done and know my health is stable....Got my roadmap there.
This Thursday I'm starting some much-needed therapy for my mind and all these "feelings" (new or old) I didn't learn how to manage. It's time to be responsible and respect the mental with the physical...get my soul feeling balanced again. I still have my sleeve restriction and will be working on losing the 50 or so lbs I've gained over two years.
I really appreciate posts like this and sharing your stories to inspire me...that I haven't failed and am not alone in some of the feels that were trapped in the "fat".

When I've been under huge stress, the urge is really intense -- it's a quest for that initial period of calm and peace that comes with a few sips. But our brains are terribly unhelpful at reminding us of what comes afterwards -- the decline of the calm and peace (which may cause us to keep drinking to regain them), followed by even more depression. And let's say we do keep drinking to try to keep the horrible feelings away... then there's the unbearable hangover that (in my case) will last for nearly 12 hours.
People without alcoholic tendencies try to be helpful and say things like, "take a walk in the sunshine" or "listen to feel-good music" but they don't understand that those activities, while very helpful, don't bring the calm and peace that have quieted our disturbed minds. I think some of us just have different wiring.
So what's the answer? First, I have to absolutely stay away from alcohol and fight the urges by reminding myself of their price. Second, I'm seeing if CDB will help me by allowing me to feel calmer and slowing my racing thoughts. Third, like you, I'm in therapy and my therapist constantly quizzes me about my feelings about alcohol and my current attempt to totally abstain.
The toughest people I know who've given up alcohol say "ride it out" and they actually do push themselves through the bad feelings until their cravings pass. I hope to be one of those people eventually.
But know that there are a lot of us who totally understand and feel your situation.

First of all, I am so, SO proud of you for naming it out loud and asking for help. That is the biggest, hardest step and you did it! You need to know your feelings are completely valid. Trauma, chronic pain, massive weight loss - those are all HUGE things to deal with and everything you're feeling is normal. If your current therapist isn't helping, it may be time to look for a new one. You can try PsychologyToday. com or call your insurance for a list of in-network providers and see who might specialize in PTSD and disordered eating/addiction. Transfer addiction is a real thing, it happens to a lot of bariatric patients, and you are not alone. Do you have any hobbies or past times you enjoy? Are you engaging in those or other forms of regular self care? If not, maybe try and work in some of those things. You deserve to have rest and downtime, but getting it via alcohol won't serve you in the long-term. You are worthy of health and happiness and taking small steps that align to those will make all the difference in the world. We are cheering you on.

My heart goes out to you. Please find a new better counselor that'll help you and keep regular two week appointments or something to stay in check. Check with your insurance plan to see if they cover addiction recovery programs. I suffer from Clinical Depression and Anxiety Disorder, so I know about using food to mask/treat my problems and while that's not alcohol like you're talking about (I don't drink) it's a similar "addiction" and coping mechanism. I take antidepressants and participate in regular counseling.

I am post op bypass 13 months ( surgery was 10/07/2020) ) and am I now drinking alcohol every night . I have gained back a few pounds Like 8 and am scared to death. I feel like I am heading back toward terrible habits and need to regain back control now. I am working with a Psychologist that's not very good for PTSD issues and major depressive disorder. I have got control of that but I have now a new problem= alcohol! A year ago, I would never think of drinking on a week night or much at all but now it's become my new addiction and it leads to me over eating and then the dreaded weight gain. I have now drank every night for the past two months and I can't seem too let it go. This had never been me before as my family is filled with alcoholics and I could never understand it and now I do? It kills pain and drowns out so much. It definitely affects me differently after surgery and takes very little to have any affect at all. I am drunk or affected at sip 3. It is such a great escapism and good lord with Covid and the way of the world all I want to do is escape in a legal way and alcohol is legal. I am on disability and have a lot of pain issues and the doctors and psych's try to say its a lot mental / PTSD/ Stress related but they haven't lived in my body. I have had over 15 surgeries and have had many scars and all kinds of mesh - They don't live this body and don't feel my pain. They tell me I need to learn to live with it. Well hell , I am doing the best I can and alcohol does a great job of dimming that. But I know I need to find a better answer and am looking to my community as I know I can't be alone in my pain or journey. My New Year's resolution is to get back to that person that doesn't drink in response to pain. That learns to deal with it. That get's her weight under control in the meantime. Sending out an SOS to my community and asking for good advice or just shared empathy to know I am not the only one and that we do not travel on this journey alone.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I read it a few months back and revisiting with a reply and saying out loud that I have a problem. I've been transparent with my BF, fam and close friends that I'm struggling...but hiding how bad it can get. Last night was a sure sign of transfer addiction and will be seeking help.
I'm 5.5 years out and over the last two years have gained 50lbs. I stopped working out and have been holding around the same weight the last 6 months. I can't seem to get the ME back that was so focused.
My Dad passed away in 2019 and to cope, I started leaning on wine and drinking (as did my Siblings) Then during 2020 covid, I was drinking during the week, sometimes alone when my SO was at work and often a bottle of wine all by myself.
I was able to get back some control in 2021, but find myself sneaking drinks and hiding my evidence. Last night, for no good reason I had wine delivered and drank 1.5 bottles of wine after BF went to work.
I know the next steps will be therapy to figure out the triggers and coping skills. Again, thanks for posting your story to inspire me to address this problem before it's too late. I worked so hard to be healthy and I'm sabotaging my future self.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I read it a few months back and revisiting with a reply and saying out loud that I have a problem. I've been transparent with my BF, fam and close friends that I'm struggling...but hiding how bad it can get. Last night was a sure sign of transfer addiction and will be seeking help.
I'm 5.5 years out and over the last two years have gained 50lbs. I stopped working out and have been holding around the same weight the last 6 months. I can't seem to get the ME back that was so focused.
My Dad passed away in 2019 and to cope, I started leaning on wine and drinking (as did my Siblings) Then during 2020 covid, I was drinking during the week, sometimes alone when my SO was at work and often a bottle of wine all by myself.
I was able to get back some control in 2021, but find myself sneaking drinks and hiding my evidence. Last night, for no good reason I had wine delivered and drank 1.5 bottles of wine after BF went to work.
I know the next steps will be therapy to figure out the triggers and coping skills. Again, thanks for posting your story to inspire me to address this problem before it's too late. I worked so hard to be healthy and I'm sabotaging my future self.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I read it a few months back and revisiting with a reply and saying out loud that I have a problem. I've been transparent with my BF, fam and close friends that I'm struggling...but hiding how bad it can get. Last night was a sure sign of transfer addiction and will be seeking help.
I'm 5.5 years out and over the last two years have gained 50lbs. I stopped working out and have been holding around the same weight the last 6 months. I can't seem to get the ME back that was so focused.
My Dad passed away in 2019 and to cope, I started leaning on wine and drinking (as did my Siblings) Then during 2020 covid, I was drinking during the week, sometimes alone when my SO was at work and often a bottle of wine all by myself.
I was able to get back some control in 2021, but find myself sneaking drinks and hiding my evidence. Last night, for no good reason I had wine delivered and drank 1.5 bottles of wine after BF went to work.
I know the next steps will be therapy to figure out the triggers and coping skills. Again, thanks for posting your story to inspire me to address this problem before it's too late. I worked so hard to be healthy and I'm sabotaging my future self.

Reached a low of 168 lbs a few months ago after a pre-op weight of 331. Back up to 175 lbs but all the weight I've gained has been muscle. Maintenance is around 3,000 kcals a day.
Pic I took yesterday:

I'm back, y'all!! Work has been crazy. I'll be 22 months post op on the 20th. Almost to that 2 year mark!
HW: 330
SW: 323
CW: 150

A few days shy of 11 months between these two pics.
Feeling better. Thinking better. VSG was a hyooooge winning decision in my life. Why in the hell I waited so long to take action is a mystery to me. I've given up on divining the reasons why I waited.....just moving forward.
Long way to go....but grateful for the relief I feel every single day. Back pain is way better.....crappy knees are still giving me hell for waiting so long.....but my ticker is thankful and no longer working double-time to pump blood where it needs to go. It's like my body has switched into cruise control and I feel better than I have in decades. I have nothing but encouragement for anyone considering this surgery.
I've had zero complications with my VSG and my surgeon left me with simple and easily followed instructions for how to succeed with the weight loss and approach food forever.
There is nothing that I cant enjoy and nothing that I want for. Went to enjoy a birthday celebration yesterday at my favorite spot....a Mexican restaurant that I LIVED at in my old life. I had chips 'n salsa.....and margaritas.......and even ordered a meal that was off the charts with flavor......brought the leftovers home for Breakfast, lol. I sure don't eat & drink that way very often.....but I can enjoy anything on occasion.
By having 80+% of my stomach removed........I have finally found what it is to be "normal".
Go figure.

Been maintaining in the low 190's for a couple of months now. Over 150 lbs lost. Hard to
believe I used to fit in those pants!