queendeborahbee

I have worked as a psychologist, providing psychological evaluations prior to bariatric weight loss surgery for the past eight years. For the most part, people need a power tool to help them lose and keep off the weight they have lost over and over again in their lives. The gastric sleeve, bypass, and now balloon are those tools. However, every once in a while, I will encounter someone who believes these procedures are the magic bullet.
I can pick this up in five seconds when I learn that:
this person has no exercise plan to maintain their weight loss a barrage of excuses as to why they can't exercise anymore zero insight into why they are overweight ("I don't know why I am overweight, I just eat steamed vegetables and grilled chicken mostly.") a lack of motivation or understanding for why they also have to engage in behavioral modification in addition to the surgery "Why would you reveal all of this?" you ask. Aren't I giving away the keys to the kingdom to anyone who reads this and wants to pass a psychological evaluation? Perhaps- but who are you really cheating if you don't go within and face the real demons that got you here in the first place?
When I ask people about their eating styles, I tend to group them into four categories:
1) emotional eater- someone who uses food when they are bored, stressed, tired, lonely, sad, or even happy in addition to eating when they are hungry
2) skip and binger- someone who fails to think about food until it is too late, and when they are ravenous end up going for whatever is available which is usually some type of carb and calorie laden fast food
3) miscellaneous- someone who just recognizes that they eat too large of portion sizes and/or the wrong types of food
4) food addict- usually someone with a history of other addictions, trauma, and a significant amount of weight to lose. They usually have comorbid psychological diagnoses that have been unaddressed or ill-addressed.
Out of the four categories, the 4th is the most troubling for a psychologist. This particular person is most correlated with the patient who fails to address their core issues, eats "around the sleeve," or bypass, experiences dumping syndrome, comes back a year later and asks for the bypass, or a different procedure.
This is the person who, ironically, is usually the most resistant to my recommendation that they seek therapeutic support prior to the surgery. They want it done YESTERDAY. They want it NOW. It is this type of thinking that got them into trouble in the first place. The impulsivity and lack of emotional regulation.
I've witnessed people fail to address their maladaptive eating patterns and never quite get to their goal weight. I had a male that would buy a bag of pepperonis at the grocery store and snack on them all day and couldn't understand why he wasn't losing weight. This daily "snack," which was a mental security blanket, served as a veritable IV drip of fat and calories throughout the day.
I've had a woman who figured out how to ground up her favorite foods into a liquid form because she never quite let go of her attachment to "comfort foods." One of her most notable liquid concoctions consisted of chicken and Cheetos. I'll just leave that for you to chew...er swallow.
They say with drug and alcohol recovery- you "slay the dragon," but with food addiction recovery, you have to take it for a walk three times a day. If you don't fundamentally shift your relationship with this dragon, you're going to get burnt when you are walking it.
My number one tip for transforming your relationship with food is to start looking at eating the same way you do as brushing and flossing: You don't necessarily salivate at the idea of what type of toothpaste you will use, where you will do it, who you will do it with, right? You just do it twice a day because you don't want to lose your teeth and you want to maintain healthy gums.
Food has to be thought of in the same way. You fuel up. You don't use food as a place to define your quality of life. You don't use food to celebrate. You don't use food to demarcate the end of a long day. You don't use food to help you feel less alone. You figure out healthier coping alternatives to meet these needs.
Loneliness-call a friend for support
Celebrate- get a massage
Demarcate the end of a long day- start a tea ritual and use essential oils
Another reason you must say goodbye to comfort food is that it triggers the pleasure center of the brain, which ignites our dopamine, which perpetuates the addiction. Many people think we are just telling them to get rid of the comfort food because of the carbs or calories, but there are unique and harmful chemical consequences to ingesting these types of food we know are bad for us.
If you are ready to take a modern approach to weight loss and stop dieting for good- check out my wls/vsg psychological support course here for free.

Ask Questions
Your advocate should get the information you need. Ask your surgeon how you can best prepare for surgery, what you can do to recover faster, and which mistakes he or she sees most often so you can avoid them. Find out how to contact your surgeon for post-op questions, and learn where you can go for support group meetings.
You will need to ask plenty of other questions, too! As your own advocate, don’t be shy about asking anyone about anything. Read everything you can online and on BariatricPal, then use the forums to ask about anything you’re not sure about. You are sure to get all kinds of helpful hints that you never expected!
Provide for Your Needs
Life does throw curve balls, but your basic needs stay predictable. You know which foods and fluids you will need in any given day, so make sure you have them. Plan your menu for each day and go grocery shopping for the week so you are sure to always have the food you need around.
Always keep a stash of “extras” in case of unplanned circumstances. Have instant protein meals and other staples in your pantry for last-minute meals. Keep protein bars and nuts in your car, your gym bag, and at work. Have different flavors of protein powder for whenever you find yourself hungry and without other options.
You can also help yourself out by planning ahead. For example, if you’re going to a party, make sure you will have the foods that you will need for that time without needing to wait until after the party to eat or depending on the host to provide healthy proteins. Stick a protein bar or some nuts in your pocket or purse, or bring a healthy dish to share and nibble on yourself.
Be Your Own Planner
If you were taking care of a child with certain needs, you would schedule them in, make sure your child had the materials needed, and get your child to where he needed to go. If you have children, you may keep track of their homework, take them to after-school activities, and make sure they get the nutritious meals and proper sleep that they need. You would keep healthy foods around and provide them with the pencils and sports equipment that they need for school and extracurricular activities.
Why wouldn’t you be just as good to yourself? Provide the same level of self-care for yourself as you do for your family. Keep healthy foods on hand, and schedule your own exercise and meal planning in and keep your commitment just like it was school.
Prioritize your commitments, just like you would do for your children. Your meal prep and workout time is important, but so is relaxation time with your family or friends, or by yourself. Over the long term, balancing work and play can keep you on track but satisfied.
Speak up When Necessary
Keeping quiet can sometimes seem easier or more considerate to others, but keeping a low profile can work against you sometimes. Learn when it makes sense to speak up for yourself. For example, at restaurants, the server may be willing to bring you what you ask for (like a slab of plain chicken breast or the kids’ meal), but will not even know that is what you want (and need) if you do not say something out loud. You may find that you need to explain your weight loss surgery as a medical condition to get your server to honor your request.
These are some other times when you should not keep your mouth shut:
When someone pressures you to eat something that's not on your diet. When you do not understand your surgeon’s or nutritionist’s instructions. When you need help around the house or preparing your food. Learning to be your own best advocate can pay off in a big way, as you will always have someone looking out for your best interests. It is one more thing you can do to help yourself succeed in your WLS journey.

If you’ve made a commitment to change your diet, learn a new exercise routine, start or complete a project, be more assertive, or maybe connect with your intuition on a daily basis, know that you DO have the POWER to follow through with this. Set an intention to connect with and magnify your inner strength and focus. Often when we set out to make changes in our life we start obsessing about it and think way too far into the future which can overwhelm us: then we just say “Oh the heck with this: I’ll never be able to do that huge project or maintain that habit forever, why even bother?” If you notice your thoughts going in that direction slow down, take a deep breath, and get out of your head and into your body. Come back to the present moment. Take another breath. Ask “Is there one simple thing I can do in this moment to honor my commitment?” That might mean just not putting a piece of chocolate in your mouth in this moment: That’s it you did it! And I know you can do that again in the next moment!! Perhaps you will be guided to make a phone call. Pick up the phone and make that call. Or, there might not be anything you need to do in this very moment so relax into the not doing.
It is important that you keep yourself surrounded by upbeat positive people and that you raise the vibrations of your surroundings as much as possible. Burn sage, put a crystal on your night stand or desk at work, keep plants and flowers in your environment, listen to uplifting music. Shield yourself from negative energies. Many of you who are drawn to read this are highly intuitive empaths: your are like psychic sponges who absorb the energies of the people near you and your environment. As part of your morning routine surround yourself with a beautiful white light ( or whatever color feels most safe and loving for you). The only thing that can penetrate this light is love and healing energies, no negative energy can pass through this. If you believe in angels, spirit guides, or any other sort of deity invite them to be with you throughout the day guiding you and keeping your thoughts and feelings uplifted and positive. Whenever possible remove yourself from negative situations, decline to engage in gossip or fear based conversations. Anger, negatively, jealousy and fear will only cause you pain. Clear your energy field daily: meditate, spend time in nature barefoot, take baths in epsom sales, move your body, drink plenty of water, etc.
Law of Attraction/Source Energy is rooting for you and right by your side giving extra added energy to your thoughts. So keep your thoughts and focus on what you DO want to manifest. See yourself as happy fulfilled and loved….and know that is is so…..
Feel gratitude knowing that your life is moving in the direction of your dreams gaining more and more momentum as your willingness to believe and receive all that is being offered to you opens and increases. BELIEVE and RECEIVE!! I'm sending you so much love! Go have an awesome day!!
❤️ Louisa!!

How do you know whether weight loss surgery is for you? Will it be the weight control solution you have been searching for for years? Or will it be a decision you regret? Nobody can answer that for you, but here are some considerations as you think about whether weight loss surgery is for you.
The Qualifying Criteria
You are not a candidate for bariatric surgery unless you meet certain criteria set by your surgeon or, if applicable, your healthcare coverage plan. The standard criteria are:
Body Mass Index (BMI) over 40 or BMI 35 with an obesity-related comorbidity, such as type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, or sleep apnea. Confirmation that your obesity is not caused by an underlying condition that would make weight loss surgery ineffective. A psychological exam to show that you are capable of sticking to the post-op diet and lifestyle changes that are necessary. Previous documented attempts at losing weight with diet and exercise. Ineffectiveness of Previous Efforts
Weight loss surgery is a last resort, not a first try at losing weight. It is for patients who have been obese for years and who have tried to lose weight using lifestyle changes, such as a modified diet plan and a formal exercise program. Many weight loss surgery patients try “every diet under the sun” before deciding that it is time for WLS. They may have had trouble losing any weight at all, or may have lost weight initially but been unable to keep it off.
Readiness to Change
Weight loss surgery is just the beginning. The way you eat after weight loss surgery determines how well you will be able to control your weight for the rest of your life. You need to be ready to change if you want to be successful with weight loss surgery. No longer will you be able to down a pizza or hit the drive-through on a whim.
Are you ready to possibly:
Give up coffee and regular and diet soda? Cut sugary treats and fried foods, especially with gastric bypass? Pass on the alcoholic offerings at home, parties, and restaurants? Count protein, slash carbs, and measure portions? Addressing Other Issues
Weight gain does not always take place in a vacuum, and weight loss does not solve other problems you might have in your life. First, identify why you became overweight in the first place, and what is keeping you from losing the weight. Is weight loss surgery the answer, or do you need to first deal with an abusive relationship or lack of self-confidence, for example?
Emotional eating is a common reason for weight gain. If you tend to eat your feelings away, you are best off figuring out other ways to handle your feelings before you get surgery. Can you use walking as a form of therapy? Maybe you can join an in-person or online support group to turn to when you feel sad, lonely, or angry.
If your emotional eating is related to a specific problem, such as stress at work, your best bet may be to handle the problem before getting WLS. That could mean finding a healthy coping mechanism, or it could mean getting counseling to help you work through the source of stress. It could even mean finding a new job, as scary as that sounds.
Consider Replacement Addictions
Replacement addictions are common after weight loss surgery. They happen when you give up food – which can be an addiction – for a different addiction. Instead of turning to food for comfort, entertainment, or companionship, some weight loss surgery patients turn to “replacement addictions” or “cross addictions” They may take up smoking, or start to abuse alcohol. Replacement addictions can also be healthier than eating; some weight loss surgery patients become gym rats or take up gardening, sewing, or other hobbies.
As you consider weight-loss surgery, think about the possibility of food addiction being replaced by replacement addictions. What role does food play in your life now? What do you see replacing that emotional or physical role after surgery?
The decision to get weight loss surgery requires a lot of soul searching for most candidates. These points can help you work through some of the doubts you may have as you try to decide what is best for yourself.