Hiraeth

Hello, and welcome! Go to your profile, and toward the right side of the page, you will see a rectangle that says, EDIT MY PROFILE. Click that, and look at the tabs under My Settings. You will see Gallery; click that and you should be able to upload pictures.

Oh my word... I'm so sorry to hear this. Hang in there, girl! I hope this all goes away soon.

Is it kinda clay-colored? Does it have a yellow tint to it? If so, this could be a sign of a gallbladder problem. When the diet changes drastically, it can make the gallbladder fail. Are you having any cramping in your stomach, sides, or upper back? This could also just be from eating a low carb diet.

If I were you, I would appeal the letter. Then wait and see what they say. If they deny you again, then I would just finish the requirements and wait. Depending on who does your surgery, you will have to pay around $10,000 (maybe more, maybe less). I wouldn't want a payment like that hanging over my head if I pay with a loan. If you already have the money, and you don't have to pay it back, then if you're willing to let go of that kind of money, go for it. Had I been in this situation, and I had that kind of money that I didn't have to pay back, I would definitely go ahead with the surgery. But I wouldn't do it if I had to pay it back (I hate owing money, lol); I would just wait a few more months. The only thing I'd be worried about, is having my surgery right before the holidays. Some people say it's easy, and then some people feel kinda down because everyone is enjoying good food, while you're stuck drinking Protein shakes and broth, lol. (Though, for the first 3 weeks, you will probably feel little to no desire to eat anything.)

I didn't read all the replies, so I apologize if you have to repeat yourself. Did you complete the requirements that were given in 2016? If so, then this is ridiculous. They should not deny you for a procedure if you already met the requirements in 2016. If this is the case, then it seems to me as if they're deliberately trying to sabotage your chances of having this surgery. My surgeon said that people, who are severely overweight, truly don't need the once-a-month check-ups and other requirements (excluding the cardiac clearance). He said that insurance companies require people to go through all these requirements, in hopes that they will give up and not go through with the surgery; because they don't want to pay for it. I could be completely wrong about all of this; it's just an opinion. If I were you, I would appeal this ASAP. I also have BCBS Fed. At first, the requirements were: 4 months of a doctor-monitored diet (having check-ups once a month), a cardiac clearance, a nutrition class, a sleep disorder test, a psych eval, and a clearance letter written by my doctor. I told my surgeon that I have Pseudotumor cerebri. This worried him, so he had a conference with BCBS. They approved me in 8 days (I did not have to complete all the requirements they previously gave me.) All I needed to do was send in paperwork proving 3 years of having a BMI over 40, take a nutrition class, and get the cardiac clearance. I had my surgery a month later, and I am now 5 months post-op.

This is the review I left on the restaurant's Facebook. "My mom and I just ate here for lunch today, and we are not pleased. Since Bistro V's food is expensive, we decided to just split a cheeseburger. When they brought out our food, they split our burger for us. We thought that was so kind of them, and were happy with that. The burger (which was listed as $9) was pretty good, but it wasn't much different than a Five Guy's burger. We chose to eat there because we like the bread they bring out, and the atmosphere is pleasant. When we got our ticket, I noticed that the bill was over $17. So, I looked at everything and noticed that they charged us a $3 split fee! Seriously?! So we notified the waitress, who said that it was automatically put on the ticket. We said we could have just split it ourselves, and that we are not paying a split fee. She got the manager (if that's what you want to call him), and he immediately had a snobby demeanor (that could just be his personality; it probably wasn't directed towards us). He said, "Y'all have a complaint?" I told him that it wasn't necessarily a complaint, but that I just don't understand why I have to pay a split fee when we could have just split the burger ourselves. He said, "Well, when two people are seated at a table, and only order one meal, there's automatically a split charge." So, I said, "That's ridiculous. We could have just split it ourselves. Also, what if someone didn't want to eat?" So then he hesitates and says, "Well, we gave you more food." (Which is a complete lie. I've ordered the cheeseburger before, and it was exactly the same size and came with the exact same amount of fries as the last time I ordered it.) They never told us beforehand that there would be a split charge. We didn't even ask them to split it for us; we just said we were going to split it. He did not apologize and he did NOT remove the fee. He made absolutely no effort to show that he is a pleasant or professional person. He took our payment and walked off. When he came back, he said, "Have a good day..." in a snarky tone. (Again, that's probably just how he acts in general.) We will not be back. It's not the fact that it was $3; it's the fact that no one should be charged a split fee, regardless, especially when the restaurant doesn't have the decency to notify the customer before the order goes through. I left my Yelp review and noticed that someone else complained about the split fee. They said that there's a split fee notification on the menu. But even still, how would anyone know to look for something like that? I've never been to a restaurant that has a split fee. It's like they were being sneaky about it; like some kind of fine print scam. It's like you can't come in and sit down in peace without looking at the menu to make sure there's not a "breathing the air" fee. I shouldn't have given a single tip, but the waitress was friendly, and it wasn't her fault for what happened. So, I left a tip, anyway." They proceeded to leave snarky replies in response. So I emailed the owner in a very professional manner. She emailed me back saying, "Yelp about it". I was shocked. I could not believe that they were refusing to handle this situation like professionals. Not only that, but the owner's friends got on my review and began insulting me personally. The owner's mother-in-law even got on there and said things along the lines of, "People of certain class know that high end restaurants charge split fees. Since when does someone go to a high end restaurant and buy only one meal?" So I said, "I recently had stomach surgery. Why would I buy a meal that I cannot finish, when I can just split it with someone?" Then, a few minutes later, the owner emailed me back and said, "We will not tolerate abuse from our customers." Since when is a complaint abuse? They claim that I insulted their employee by saying he's snarky. Well he was! Wouldn't it have been easier to just say, "I apologize for the misunderstanding."? How hard is that? When they responded to me the way they did by saying "they won't tolerate", that makes me wonder if they will try to sue me for defamation. I did my research and found that the only way they can is if I make false claims. Not a single statement was false. I'm so livid and shocked by the complete disregard for my situation. Some of my friends got on the review and began cussing the owner's friends out, because they were insulting me. I publicly tried to contain the situation by telling them to not cuss or call names. Not once did the owner publicly try to contain her Facebook friends. Not once did I receive an apology. She even tried saying that I could have my $3 refunded to me. Why would I drive 15 minutes to get $3? Why couldn't they have just given me the refund while I was at the restaurant? I told them I didn't want the refund of $3. I said that they could just give it to my waitress, because she was actually friendly; and that if she declined, then they could donate the money to the charity of their choice.

I'm about to hit my 60 mark, but I'm not weighing myself as often and I used too. It gives me anxiety still even knowing I will see a change lol congrats on your loss!! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Yeah, I don't weigh as often as I used to either. I used to weigh myself every day. Now it's more like twice a week, lol. Thank you so much! And congrats to you as well! Keep it up!

You're very welcome! Good luck!

It should not be a problem if you changed your primary doctor. Usually, insurance companies want doctor-documented visits/weigh-ins for a certain amount of months; it doesn't even have to be a primary, just as long as they are a doctor (my Neuro sent in my papers). Now with insurance, I'm not sure if that would be a problem. Just make sure your new insurance has the same (or about the same) requirements in order to be qualified for the surgery.

Girl, me too! I am always cold now (unless, of course, I'm sitting in front of a heater). My hands and feet suffer the most; I always have to wear socks now. I hate wearing socks to bed, because they move around and drive me crazy, lol! But now, I don't have a choice because my feet are always so cold. Have you lost a good bit of weight? I've lost over 60 pounds, so I bet that's why I'm so cold. I basically shed 60 pounds of warm blubber, and my much smaller body doesn't know how to cope properly.

Aye, but ignoring butthurt is also technically burying your head in the sand. I have done some adult teaching in my life and have to come to the realisation that for those who choose to bury their heads, it's their heads, and it's their sand. If we really cared about those we're are advising, we won't let discussions deteriorate. Some of the 'Advisors' just come of as being self righteous *insert whatever term*. Some of those being advised come of as whiny little *whatevers*. Surely there has to be a middle ground if what we really care about is progress for everyone? If some people want to fail, advise, move on.. The problem is that when we move on, we carry sentiments from the last 'destined to fail' person onto the next person asking a similarly dumb looking (but very innocent) question. We answer with a terse or dismissive answer and wonder why the person asking is pissed off? I complete agree. Not only that, but they wonder why anyone would answer a certain way, when they're the one who provoked them and basically called them a liar. I am very forgiving, and I am always willing to settle a disagreement like an adult. But I always frown upon passive-aggressive drama, especially from someone many years older than me. I respect my elders, but it's hard to have a certain amount of respect for someone who refuses to settle anything in a mature manner.

When I see someone who is severely overweight, I really want to give them advice, and maybe help them make a similar decision. But, it's difficult to tell someone they may want to consider surgery. As far as dating goes, I have never been attracted to extremely overweight people (but I have been attracted to slightly overweight people). I had barely any interest in dating because I was overweight, and I actually didn't want anyone to find me attractive, since I didn't feel attractive. Not only that, but I didn't want anyone to be attracted to me because being severely overweight doesn't feel like the "real me".

Mine are daisies; a daisy is my favorite flower. But since flowers tend to be common, should I post an avatar that you will remember? *evil smirk*

I'm pretty sure this post is directed at me, considering it was posted about 2 hours after I responded to your comment on my post. You came onto my post, basically calling me a liar, and you thought I wouldn't respond in a very deserving manner? Also, I have posted several helpful and kind comments on this forum, but you're choosing to talk about the one you provoked me on. Then you come here to "secretly" bash me, thinking I wouldn't see it. (But I'm almost certain you were hoping I would.) I don't appreciate it. An adult would have messaged me and discussed this with me. But instead, you chose to act passive-aggressive and childish. Now, if this isn't directed at me, I apologize. But I'd be very surprised if it wasn't, considering the timing.

Even more screenshots: Everything got quiet after those comments. But after the restaurant's ratings went from a 4.7 to a 4.3, the owner had her friends and family send reviews to up her ratings again. Her ratings only went up to 4.4, but quickly went back to a 4.3 (I'm guessing after more people saw how badly she was handling my review).

More screenshots:

I appreciate your input. I am getting my story out to help others avoid this kind of behavior from people, and also to help them see that they deserve to have a voice against bullying from companies. I am not stressed over this. I am just showing what happened. You have a great night too!

Ok, so here are the screenshots of the whole conversation on the Facebook review. I edited the screenshots in order to protect everyone's identity. A lot of my friends got on the review to defend me. Two of my friends went way overboard and began cussing the owner's friends out (one of them is autistic). I did not appreciate them doing that, and you can see in some of the pictures where I tried to contain them. The owner's mother-in-law and friends got on there to insult me. One began cussing me and calling me names. Sorry if some of these are a bit confusing, lol.

Lol... That's clever. But this is the ranting section of the forums, so I can keep this going as long as I please.

You revealed the name of the bistro in your OP. I'm assuming that was unintentional, and due to copying and pasting the review from somewhere else to here. I think there's a time limit on editing posts, but perhaps if you asked a moderator he or she would be willing to remove their name if you wish. I doubt it's against the rules to post it. As I wrote before, I think the restaurant handled the situation poorly, taking a matter that could have been resolved quickly and amicably and escalating it by their reaction to you both at the restaurant and to the review. Everyone engaged in the matter is squandering time in a back-and-forth that at this point is unlikely to have a mutually satisfactory end. If you haven't already received an apology by now, then it's doubtful you will, and you have to make the choice about whether you want to continue to invest yourself in the matter or move forward. I've been in many situations where I've gotten an unpleasant surprise on the bill. When my family and friends were in Russia we were stunned to get a bill for over $100 for Water (which was served in a pitcher, not from a bottle) and soda. We were accustomed to free water and free refills, but realized that isn't the custom there, and so we paid without argument or acrimony. We learned the hard way that in many places there's an additional fee for dining at a casual cafe vs. taking the meal to go, sometimes tripling the original cost. I totally get that at a restaurant in your own area when you're confronted with something you haven't encountered before it's more jarring than when you're in a foreign country and face a foreign custom, but the point is the same. You're now aware that some restaurants do have the split plate fee, and that the waiters will not always emphasize that in advance when you're ordering. So this problem doesn't have to be replicated. You will presumably avoid going back to that bistro, you also don't have to worry about dealing with their attitude again unless you choose to keep interacting. To add - moving on from such a matter isn't giving up on what you think is right, it's about valuing your own resources too much to expend them on something unworthy. Crap... You're right, I did post the restaurant name. Oh well... :/ I agree. I'll eventually let this go, but I'm going to stay on it a bit longer on getting this experience out there. Wow, sorry to hear about your experience. That's ridiculous. The reason I'm not letting this go so quickly is because I've let people step on me too many times in the past, so now I'm being a bit more stubborn. TripAdvisor has already asked for evidence regarding this matter. I'm going to post it to a few more sites, then I will drop it.

I'm not so worried about getting mad in PUBLIC! I have no problem with it but I've never been rude purposely. Haha, see, I have a hard time showing anger in public. I'm usually a very passive person. I kept my composure while in front of the assistant manager. I never see the point in causing a scene in a public place. I have let people walk all over me for so many years, and I think this was my breaking point. Yet, I still remained calm. I just decided I'd write the review to let everyone know what to expect. I figured the owner would see it and handle it properly. I was very wrong about that, since the owner was just as rude.

They still made us pay. Instead of apologizing, they would have rather been jerks to us and act like we didn't matter. I have all the screen shots of the incident on Facebook, but I wonder if it's against forum rules to post the restaurant name? So just because it's done all the time to other people, I should let them harass me on Facebook on a review? Did you read all the posts on this thread? Your mentality is bad business and bad customer service. I'm so glad SOMEBODY finally stated the obvious!! I used to own a restaurant also and this kind of customer gave me a headache just seeing them walk in!! Seriously people, double dishes, double Water, double sides etc. $3.00 is cheap! And for the manager spoke to you like that at the restaurant, something else was said! No manager starts out a conversation rudely to a customer unless some other incident or words proceeded it.I was not aware that there was a $3.00 split charge. I was not mean to the assistant manager. I became frustrated because he was rude. Did you read all the comments? Because I stated MANY TIMES that the assistant manager was rude to us when he was telling me why there was a split charge. And that is a COMPLETE LIE. We were NOT rude to the assistant manager. Why do you think I'm so frustrated? We did nothing to deserve that treatment. We were not aware that split fees even existed. So if you believed that someone was cheating you, wouldn't you become confused and refuse to pay the charge? Your mentality is incorrect, especially since you think that an assistant manager can't act rude unless provoked. Since you think I'm lying, then your input is no longer relevant on my post. Move along.I've worked in restaurants for a bit and it sounds like you went there more than once, if you are a regular customer or even just live in the area we would never charge that fee, also I used to work double shifts where about 5 or 6 older gentlemen would take up the biggest table in the place and just drink coffee for hours, they were only paying 1.50 for coffee the whole time. The manager was totally wrong to treat you like that, he's definitely not very good with people skills and his business will suffer because not too many people would go there to be treated like that. Sharing or not if one person is ordering maybe that's all they could eat. Maybe they both had our wls and can't eat that much anymore. I've seen homeless people sit in a restaurant just to get warm and my manager would have us give them some soup FREE, MY GOD, I can't believe we treat people like this , and for the rude comments the other lady said, she really needs people skills. My restaurant manager used to let my daughter come home from the pool and feed her and her friends while I was working. He was a smart business man he even ordered her a pizza one day. I am really frustrated that you had such a bad experience. I'm so mad that $3.00 would cause such a problem, tell me where he's at and I will send him an extra 3.00 for your next visit on me. Oh wow... That is so kind of you. I could not accept that generous offer. It's really not about the money anymore. It's about how they treated me and my mother. I've been to that restaurant 3 times, exactly. The first time, I had tomato basil soup. The second time, I had the cheeseburger, (but I did not split it). The third time, I split the cheeseburger with my mother. The reasons I split it with her is because, the burger is a bit larger than normal burgers, I do not eat fries, and because the burger costs $9 (why would I want to order a $9 meal, by myself, when I'm not going to eat all of it? ) The reason we even went to that place again, is because the atmosphere is pleasant (I love the paintings on the walls; I'm an artsy person.) I agree about the homeless people. I would have done that, too. That shows kindness, and people notice those acts of kindness, which is good business. I wasn't asking for a hand-out; I never expect that. I was just confused as to why a $9 burger and 2 drinks could turn into a $17 bill, lol. I felt like they were charging me for splitting it. They never explained that it was a policy listed on the menu. I actually found out it was a policy through Yelp, haha. Thanks for your response.

I'm so glad SOMEBODY finally stated the obvious!! I used to own a restaurant also and this kind of customer gave me a headache just seeing them walk in!! Seriously people, double dishes, double Water, double sides etc. $3.00 is cheap! And for the manager spoke to you like that at the restaurant, something else was said! No manager starts out a conversation rudely to a customer unless some other incident or words proceeded it. This was not about the $3 bucks..... it was about TREATMENT.... Well i never "owned" a restaurant... but i surly worked in quite a few in my early years.... over 16 for sure... then i also did private catering.... I have seen on a number of occasions a "manager" or "owner" start a conversation rudely.... I had this happen to me About 5 years ago i went to one of the only Thi restaurants in our town... one of which i know and worked with the owners husband... Frank (worked together for 5 years). Went to pick up my order that i called in when i got there i was informed that i couldn't pay with my debit card because the order was under $5 bucks... I said can you just charge me the $5 and be done with it... the girl said no. This meant i would have to leave, go 10 min away to the bank, get out $20, then go all the way back and pay the less than $5. Now remember, Frank.. well frank was most always there in the evenings helping his wife. My intent was to ask frank if i could give him the $5 the next day at work and he could give to his wife...Easy peasie..... (This was not un-commend, he would always take orders at work, bring the food, we would pay him and he would give her the money the next day) So i asked the young lady if "Frank was there"...... she left and went to the back and all of sudden his wife comes storming from the back and started yelling at me that ..... This was her store and that frank didn't "own" it and told me to get out of "her" restaurant and don't come back..... IN FRONT OF OTHER CUSTOMERS... I was horrified.... so i left and never went back. But i did write what happened on there FB page.... She then attacked me on the FB page. Thank goodness i was not by far the only person she had done something like this too...and others came to my aid. I talked to Frank about it and he apologized, and i of course didn't take it out on him.... I mean i didn't even get to tell her what my intent was and why i had asked for Frank.... she just yelled at me and told me to get out.... Now would I have done this in another store... NO, i would have just said... ok, sorry, cancel/keep the order and left. I mean it would not even bothered me to be charged the $5... but she wouldn't hear of it.... but a year later they were under new ownership..... My close friend tracy happen to be on the phone with me when she came from the back and started yelling at me.... and said.... I don't know how you didn't go off on her..... I said... to be honest she caught me off guard... and i was so embarrassed that i just wanted to leave as fast as i could. So YES.... people do act that way from the "get go"..... Thank you! And holy crap... I can't believe that woman was so hateful towards you... O_O People honestly have this mentality that a manager can't possibly be a jerk to someone... But they are human, and they do have the ability to be rude. When that happens, the owner should be told. So when I contacted the manager (in a very professional way) she emailed me back saying, "Yelp about it". When I posted a screenshot of that email on the Facebook review, and posted that the owner didn't care about my concern either, she got her employees, her Facebook page, and had her personal page "like" my comment. So what does that tell me? That she genuinely doesn't care. Her actions on Facebook and in email only prove that she is not a professional and that she's a bully. And no, I'm not letting it go, because I have yet to have gotten an apology. I hope my review helps others avoid being treated this way in the future. Everyone should know the consequences of their actions.

I apologize if my response came off wrong. I see that you posted politely, so I figured you deserved the same. You didn't seem mean, to me. But I never expect special treatment. If someone in my family wants to eat junk in front of me, then they have every right to. If a restaurant gives me a side that comes with a meal, I would never expect them to remove the side and cut down on the price of the meal, when the meal I ordered comes with a side and a set price. But I have never heard of a split fee charge, therefor, I was confused. The assistant manager did not handle it well at all. He never told me it was on the menu. He said, "Well, I gave you more food." He also said, "When 2 people sit at a table and only order one meal, we charge a split fee." Why couldn't that have been told to us in the beginning? Just because some people know there's a split charge, doesn't mean everyone else does. It would have been nice to be told that in the beginning to prevent confusion. I hope I don't sound rude in my post to you. My words aren't necessarily directed at you, but at the situation. Thanks so much!

They still made us pay. Instead of apologizing, they would have rather been jerks to us and act like we didn't matter. I have all the screen shots of the incident on Facebook, but I wonder if it's against forum rules to post the restaurant name? I'm never going back. But if I feel like someone is overcharging me for something, then I am going to voice that. He never once told me it was the store policy. He just claimed that he gave me more food; which I did not ask for and did not eat. I didn't get mad in public. I quietly voiced my confusion and frustration to the assistant manager, because he was dismissing my concern. I figured that had I brought it to his attention, he would be a professional and politely explain that it was on the menu, but he didn't. Therefor, I was under the impression that he was deliberately trying to tack on a charge for extra food that I did not eat or ask for. I have my sanity, thank you. But I refuse to let someone bully me. So just because it's done all the time to other people, I should let them harass me on Facebook on a review? Did you read all the posts on this thread? Your mentality is bad business and bad customer service. I'm so glad SOMEBODY finally stated the obvious!! I used to own a restaurant also and this kind of customer gave me a headache just seeing them walk in!! Seriously people, double dishes, double Water, double sides etc. $3.00 is cheap! And for the manager spoke to you like that at the restaurant, something else was said! No manager starts out a conversation rudely to a customer unless some other incident or words proceeded it. I was not aware that there was a $3.00 split charge. I was not mean to the assistant manager. I became frustrated because he was rude. Did you read all the comments? Because I stated MANY TIMES that the assistant manager was rude to us when he was telling me why there was a split charge. And that is a COMPLETE LIE. We were NOT rude to the assistant manager. Why do you think I'm so frustrated? We did nothing to deserve that treatment. We were not aware that split fees even existed. So if you believed that someone was cheating you, wouldn't you become confused and refuse to pay the charge? Your mentality is incorrect, especially since you think that an assistant manager can't act rude unless provoked. Since you think I'm lying, then your input is no longer relevant on my post. Move along.