Candygyrl

Well I guess I'll respond first! LOL. The link was very helpful in regards to many of our concerns about discussing weight with our kids. It can be a very slippery slope and as parents or caregivers we have to take caution when having these conversations because our kids are very sensitive to what we say and it may stay with them for the rest of their lives so we need to have positive words and not negative.

I myself have been guilty of negative words like "oh you're shaped like your dad" or "I didn't see (insert childs weight here) lbs until I was 7 months pregnant with your brother!" These words only lead to additional feelings of unworthiness and unnacceptance and does not help the child at all! The link provided some very common dillemas amongst parents and children including situations and scenarios when talking to your kids about weight can turn into a positive and impactful moment. It's a touchy subject and those of us who are dealing with an overweight child be it your own, or family member, neighbor etc. and I'm constantly in pursuit of how to tackle this issue daily!

My daughter now 12 is in the 90th percentile for height and weight. I've become desperate to get her weight under control and looked into camps I could send her away to, or even signing her up for weight watchers. Both I felt although the intentions were innocent, the outcomes could be damaging and set her up for a lifetime of failure. But how do I get her to listen to me without her feeling that I'm putting her down about her weight? it's a thin line.

I've learned that leading by example is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. Since my WLS I have been eating healthier meals and Snacks, decreased portion sizes, Zero sweetened beverages, fast food etc. As a result I cook more-- and decided if I won't eat it why give it to my kids? I've encouraged my daughter to go to the gym with me-- she loves it and it makes her feel more grown up. Something her friends aren't even doing! She plays softball (she's darn good at it too) playing up a level with an older age group and more than keeping up. She made her Jr high school girls basketball team so she's been engaging in 2 hours of practice after school 5 days a week. Softball practice one day a week and games on Sunday. We meal plan throughout the week, get up early or go after softball practice and do our shopping and on Sundays we meal prep. She takes her lunch every day todays lunch included a salad topped with cucumbers, strawberries, turkey breast, boiled egg and light raspberry vinaigrette. Sides include 6 Strawberries, Greek Yogurt, Colby jack cheese stick and a Zero calorie Steaz tea. I allow and encourage her to pack 1 sweet treat last week were 9 pumpkin spice yogurt pretzels. This week will be Pepperidge farm Milano Cookies (2) 120 cal. I am trying to encourage moderation not deprivation.

So far-- it's working well. Since school has begun 9/6 she has lost close to 10lbs. She's blown away by how fast she's losing and I tell her it's all her hard work and of course her youth! Its also reinforcement to continue the healthy behavior. I have her weigh weekly to maintain accountability for her choices and make tweaks in her plan as needed. She has a short term goal that she is very close to and a long term goal that we hope to achieve by the end of the school year. Reminding her that 1-2 lbs a week is normal and that stalls will happen along the way. She is rewarded with things that matter to her. A new shirt, nail polish, sleepover with a friend. the most important thing is we're doing it together-- and she's guiding the ship.

I asked her do you ever feel like I put you on a diet. She said yes! but then she took it back saying " well-- not really we've made a lot of changes though. No McDonalds or wendys everyday or ever now! But it's ok I don't get headaches as much as I used to and I like making the food that I eat. I feel like I used to eat without even thinking about it and now I understand more about serving sizes, calories, sugars and Protein. I understand how easy it is to eat way too much without even realizing it! and now I know better."-- out of the mouths of babes.

I'm on a mission for my health and I couldn't imagine leaving her behind.

My surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday (yikes!!)and I have been on my liquid diet for almost a week now.

My 2 eldest boys who are ages 9 & 5, have noticed that I haven't been eating food and have been asking a lot of questions as to why.

Today at lunch I decided to give them some warning about the upcoming surgery & they asked a million questions - as kids do!

I am pretty upfront with people about my struggles and plans to get surgery (if they ask why) but I absolutely was unprepared and struggled to tell my kids the truth.

I'm not sure that they are old enough to process what weight loss surgery means, and I'm a tiny bit worried that my 5 year old might innocently start suggesting it overweight people we know (he is very helpful like that!).

I settled on telling them that I am getting my stomach fixed because it's not really helping me be healthy (which is basically true!).

They had to be at the hospital with my husband when I had my EGD done & the surgery is at the same hospital so I was able to call on that to make it a bit less scary for them.

I'm curious to know how other people explained the surgery to younger kids, if at all? And how kids reacted after the surgery? Any opinions or thoughts welcome!

Thank all

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At that age I think that telling them you need to have your stomach fixed to help you be healthier is a great explanation. Well done! You're being open and honest without overwhelming them with information they don't understand. Luckily, My kids 12 and 15 are lots easier to talk to and actually-- about 3 years ago when I initially thought about having it I spoke with my kids (9 and 12) about it then and they told me that surgery was for cheaters and that I should just work hard, exercise, use self control and stay disciplined. They were my toughest critics!!! For them I chose not to do the surgery at that time and decided I would give it another go on my own. 3 years later we revisited this topic and this time I wasn't thinking about it. I had already started the process. They did not tell me I was taking the easy way out this time-- actually they did not say anything but "ok-- it's your choice" and I respect that. They are already seeing the benefit and although they haven't said anything-- it's having a positive impact on their lives.

Wow that's fantastic! Great job. You're such an inspiration with a starting weight close to mines its unreal that at 5 months I could be that close to goal! Way to go!!!!

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post op day 4-- from the back-- on my side... hope that makes sense. Think of spooning. It was more for him than for me but at least that set him straight for awhile.

Whether to tell is a personal choice. Some people tell anyone who will listen, others may tell 1 or 2 confidants. In my case I kept quiet initially because I wasn't for sure if I was going to have the surgery. I just wanted to go through the process so that it would be on the table. WLS can be very controversial to some and I just didn't want to feel the need to justify my reasons. I made an informed choice. I was at peace with that choice. I chose to tell my husband, my 2 children and my mother initially because they are my primary support system and if something happened to me they deserved to be informed.

Once I closer to my date-- I begin strategically telling very close friends (3) and family. They were very happy for me and extremely supportive of my decisions. They were very instrumental in my recovery and have provided ongoing encouragement and support post op. I don't regret telling not a 1 of them. I did not tell associates, distant family, neighbors, co workers and I take all of their compliments with a simple thank you and a smile.

I don't find it necessary to explain myself to anyone. I too worried about what I would say but I noticed-- no one really cares what I'm eating. In family settings i'll fix a plate with items to nibble on just to look normal but no one says hey you hardly ate anything??? It's about being in the moment and enjoying that family time. Even if that means telling a funny story, or initiating Karaoke or an interactive game. No one will pay attention to your eating habits!

I think I was more worried about it than anyone else. The only time I was called out was when my husband and I were hanging out with parents from my sons baseball team and I wasn't drinking alcohol-- it felt a little awkward to feel that way just for not drinking. Can u say peer pressure? Honestly we 'd hung out with the coach and his wife in the past and they've always known me to drink at least socially. But it's over and I didn't have to tell them a thing and since my son quit the team the next time I see them, I'll be skinny. LOL!

The week following that I might have a 2 week loss and then another 5-7 lb loss. Scratch---

I meant to say a 1-2 lb loss and then the next week another 5-7 lb loss.

I started at 271 and I think mind became prominent after I went below maybe 170, so for me it took a while.

Your question struck me because I was at a race a while ago and some male runners on my team were chatting about online dating, and they said that was how they could tell if a woman was heavy and just working camera angles so her pic looked thin. If they could see collar bones the woman qualified.

Weird!

LMAO! I never thought about it like that... wow the things men come up with to size us up! LOL! Unless their fingers are the size of BANANAS-- I don't think they're qualified .

I didn't read all of the comments but I just want to say what an amazing job you've done so far!!!!! My surgeons guidelines indicate 20-40lbs in the first 6 weeks is fairly standard. Some people don't even lose that much but I believe in the end of the day it all adds up just the same. Don't be too hard on yourself. Based on your eating plan-- it sounds like you've got great options. Give it time. Log your weight from week to week. I have done that since surgery and I notice a pattern. I'll have a week where I lose 5, 6, or 7lbs and then the next week it seems the scale hardly moves. The week following that I might have a 2 week loss and then another 5-7 lb loss. I take that as the body is calibrating-- making necessary adjustments. If I didn't do that, I think I'd stress out on the weeks where I have a 0.2 lb loss. When I can look back over time and see trends it makes more sense. Consider measuring yourself and understand weight loss happens in different forms. We like to call them NON scale VICTORIES. Stay on the right path. Don't get discouraged and remember if you're doing all you're supposed to -- it's got to go somewhere. 1 year from now all the highs and lows will be a distant memory. Slow and steady wins the race.

I've recently become interested in collar bones. I was flipping through some old pics and I never really noticed or cared that I had them. Now that I don't... apparently the appearance of collar bones are a hug NSV (non scale victory) and symbolize significant weight loss. I'm sure it's going to be different for everyone but I'm just curious at approx. what weight did you start to see them? No matter how I twist and hunch-- I cant find them anywhere! I feel them though-- looking forward to reuniting with them LOL!

Some people call it sliming, slimies, or foaming most interchangeably.

@Outsidemachine Thanks for the reminder about bananas and the list of other lesser carb foods to choose from. Theres no debate about whats a healthier choice I think the statement "They basically have the same macros as 3 oreo Cookies. Almost no Fiber, lots of sugar and just pure carbs." may have been read by some as THEY'RE NO BETTER THAN AN OREO and I don't think that was the point. It was an informative post for those who happen to be following a lower carb diet. I think we all have been down the banana ave. once or twice as I'm willing to bet 99% of us were chronic yo-yo dieters prior to WLS and the whole deal about bananas usually comes up at some point.

Many are on their journey and hit stalls. They may wonder how to break it as @innersurfergirl always reminds us that stalls are a normal part of the weight loss process. Banana's could very well be a culprit if you have them regularly. No one is saying never eat them. I have the equivalent of 1 banana per 7 days in various forms 1/4 banana cut up in a chia bowl, 1/4 tossed in a smoothie, or a portion of a banana as pre or post workout snack.< /p>

The moral of this story-- Bananas are good. They are a complex carb that can be a great source of Fiber and potassium and help sweeten our foods (oatmeal, Cereal, smoothies) naturally which may help curb a sweet tooth. Like anything else enjoy in moderation. Those of you knocking back bananas and still seeing weight loss-- HAVE at IT! Those of you hitting stalls-- fill in the blank.

Sliming is an uncomfortable reaction to your sleeve getting full or eating too fast. One bite too many you may feel like the food is "stuck" in your chest or like something is in your throat. Accompanied by excessive saliva and mucous production and you may feel the need or want to vomit. This may last for about 15-30 min until the food has had more time to digest into the small intestine.

Moral of this story. We don't want to get full. Please measure your food and take the entire 30 minutes to eat it. This is why they tell you to take small bites, and chew thoroughly before swallowing. Put the fork down, do something to distract yourself read a book, magazine, health article, play a game whatever and then repeat. Sometimes we get little signals like hiccups, or burping to let us know it's time to tap out but everyone is different. We don't get full in the traditional sense and we don't want to fill our sleeve to capacity.

You know @@judy vsg you may like her. When I first met her I did--well enough to schedule with her each time. Before I was going to whoever was available. She just has kind of a no nonsense approach that comes off as arrogant and sometimes condescending. This was my experience yours may be different.

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211.2

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Congrats! ???? You have done great! Very inspiring in 10 months? Wow! I could definetely take a page from your book. Again congrats! Looking good!

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Hope you went to the Dr. Might be an infection brewing... nothing abx can't handle. Hope you're feeling better.

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I was 20. At work. Getting situated into my morning routine. coffee, then Logged onto yahoo news about 845 and saw a pic of a plane going into the tower. I thought hmm i knew one day those skyscrapers would get in the way. Read the report then got up to go to the copy room. That's when i found out the other plane hit. I felt something was wrong at that point and I couldn't focus. I tried calling home and all lines were busy. They sent us home by 10. It was a beautiful day. Eerie.

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Turkey Chili, taco salad minus the taco or use melted cheese instead, grilled or oven baked garlic and lemon pepper chicken wing dings, meatballs etc.

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I was always the kind of person who never could imagine a life without bread. at 10 weeks post op today-- I have still not had bread. I don't even want it. It's just too much. Most of the stuff I have to put in my mouth involve Protein if not then its a fruit or veggie. I can't waste any space on bread. Therefore I don't desire it. Not even a tiny bit. I struggled with whether to eat crackers like wheat thins or triscuits and then I just didn't. why do I need the cracker? I can eat the tuna with a piece of cheese or the hummus with a Tomato. Empty calories-- not enough nutrients.

Well congrats on your progress so far! You're doing superb!!! I'm sure people will offer great advice about what to do. Personally I'm a simple gal. I stick with simple foods. I eat the things I like until I get tired of it and I keep my eyes open for something else I might like when I get tired of the thing I'm liking at the moment.

At 6 weeks I was cleared for regular foods including fruits and veggies. And even before that I was enjoying soft fruits and veggies if I had to stuff em in a blender!! Anyways what works for me is to figure out what I need to hit my daily goals. Shop according to those needs incorporating a few new things to try here and there. New thing for me this week-- Chia Seed pudding bowls. Not bad. So I have had it occasionally as a snack or quick Breakfast item.

By week 7-- I surrendered. I'd waited for what seems like an eternity to eat "regular food" and now that I could eat it-- I would get all excited only to realize I could only eat a few bites. So I stopped thinking about food as much. I focused more on the process and getting in the Protein I needed. What foods can get me to my goal. The cheese stick, the nuts, the shake, the chicken breast--if its going to get me to my goal then thats it. On top of managing The fluids, the Vitamins, the activity. And might I add that was enough to juggle. I find I don't have room for anything else. I find I can barely get those things down in a day and If food X makes me gag at the thought--I put it on rest for a while and then bring in food Z.

You're still adjusting so give it time. Even at 6 and 7 weeks I still oscillated between liquids and mushies (still do!) eating with a purpose goes a long way when you can only eat a little. I'm only 2 1/2 months post op but I've been there too and figured out how to get around it after bumping my head a few times. Hang in there and keep up the good work!

I think it's normal to question the process. I went through all those emotions and rationalizations pre op... it wasn't until I was 5-6 months into my journey that I decided yep I need to do this. I'm now 2 1/2 months post op and it's the best decision I've ever made. I only wish I'd made it much sooner.

Yes start light strength training now. You can get a lot done in 6 months. You're at a good starting weight so don't be afraid like I was to lose more before surgery the closer you can get to goal the easier your journey will be. Good luck.

That's awesome @@LowBMISleever I cannot guzzle liquids at all and I'm 10 weeks tommorrow. If I take 5 gulps I'll be chuckin it right back up!!! I'm sure eventually I will be able to but right now I take 3 good gulps like the old days and stop. Wait a few minutes and repeat. I'm still not clearing 64 oz a day without tons of concentration or focus on it. I'm lucky to get through 40 oz. But I agree it gets better. Try not to focus on the negatives. I loved the challenges of figuring my way around the obstacles. You will get the hang of it and things will start to feel normal. Hang in there!!!

Sooo I was invited to attend or sit in on a support group during my pre op but I never did. Since surgery, I still have not participated in a support group nor do I plan to. On top of that they want you to PAY for a package to attend so many per year. I don't think your friends likelihood for success should be measured by whether or not she does go. However if it bothers you that much just tell her. Some times you have to pull the rug from under people. "Hey I don't know why you keep telling me you're going to do this or that that and you never do. It's annoying. I don't mind supporting you throughout your journey but you have to keep it 100 with me." If she gets defensive oh well. You don't have to keep getting lied to. Even though its not affecting you and your personal goals-- I can't stand dealing with people who do S H I T like that. So you have to check her and then move on.

This is incredible!!! So happy for you. That must've felt amazing I mean to bring you to tears wow what a breakthrough. I went shopping for the first time in a looooooooong time just to look. Usually if I shop, I'm looking with a purpose and I wait for the last possible moment to do so. Yesterday, I went to TJ maxx to look at some clothes for my 12 and 15 year old. I don't get all their back to school stuff at once but I buy a few things to get them started and gradually add pieces into their wardrobe over time.

Sooooooooo I was browsing, and I came across a few tops and sweaters in a Large that although may not be appropriate for this time of year, would be perfect for October November. I put them in my basket. It was such a high to be able to shop for smaller sizes knowing that I would be able to wear them in a month. Anyways I hardly ever use layaway. I put a few items away for myself and a few things for the kids.