LolaSerena

I went through kaiser options in Jan 2016 and went toKaiser Cadillac in May 9 2016. Since starting options I have lost 105 pounds.

I am in Simi Valley. Do you guys get together or go walking?

Lola,

Check this out. My sister and I got in an argument two days ago and she told me that I was worthless because I couldn't lose weight on my own and had to have surgery. I was mad and told her at least I had the right mind to change my life for the better. Her and I have struggled with our weight throughout or lives and I think she is probably mad that I went through with surgery. I have no regrets having surgery. It was the best decision of my life. Isn't it sad how family can be.

Martin

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Hey Martin,

Yeah, if family were more supportive and understanding that it is a disease and not something where we wanted to be this way then it would be easier. maybe your sis will see the light now that you've done it.

Much success in your journey!

LS

http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/surgery-is-not-the-easy-way-out-a-bariatric-surgeons-perspective

LS

Wow, that was uncalled for. Time for you to explain to your hubby that you know what you are supposed to eat. He can be suppportive but not to be an @$$.

LS

I love my brain. I also love my hips and my butt. Even at my highest I like that my butt was round and pretty high up. I like my face as its thinning out and my long fingers that are less fat now.

LS

Just got my date - May 9 - Can't wait!!

I had my surgery May 9th as well. Hope you are doing well.

LS

Shelly, I can so relate! My mother fat shames me all the time and tells me that I've let her down and she's disappointed in me bc of my weight.

I'm at the point where I want to have this surgery, and lose the weight and never see my own mother again!

She's actually told me before that she doesn't want to see me until I'm thin.

It's really bad. I've only gone to see her once this year (Mother's Day )

She keeps trying to give me incentives.. A whole new wardrobe.. If I lose weight..

She's very wealthy and I get an inheritance from my Father who passed away 6 years ago.. But my mother holds all the cards. She has threatened me several times to not give me the money if I don't lose weight. (My home situation is such that getting a job making less than my inheritance gives is not an option for me)

I was at my lowest weight last year

(40 pounds less than I am right now)

And my mom still fat shamed me bc I hadn't got to my perfect weight yet after all these years.. She bettered me in front of a friend.

I've forgiven her bc she asked me to.

But then it seems she hurts me again.

This last time of fat shaming was a week ago.

Sorry for rambling

Wow Heidi your mom sounds like a horrible *****. My mom has offered me money, a new wardrobe, so has my father, they even included one of my brothers in the "if you lose weight you get crap wagon". Sorry you're having to go through all that shit.

I guess I would just get a job and my own money and tell her to stick dad's money where the sun don't shine. You can later use a lawyer to get the money if you are the sole survivor of you are still wanting it. But darn I can't even imagine.

Much success in your journey!

LS

So to avoid uneducated comments I have decided to NOT inform certain people about my journey. For now Its my husband and kids(all for it, extremely supportive ), two best friends, and my insurance broker (she comes in handy) Who am I on the fence about and havent'told, my brothers and my parents. Why...........well, I can just hear it now. Everything everyone said in the above comments, and I don't need that now while I am trying to focus on myself for the first time in a long time. Sadly mom manages to make a situation that has nothing to do with her, about her. Don't get me wrong love her etc. but everyone elses situation magically becomes all about her. I do think my dad will be fine with it, I just am not ready. I need to stay mentally focused on what Im doing here. We all need to stay focused on ourselves. This is a major decision for all of us going through this. And the last thing we need are the nay sayers of the world giving us "mind frick" to shoot us down because of THEIR insecurities and failures. So for those who are just beginning this don't feel like you have to divulge everything about this, it is no ones business but your own.

Surgery date is Oct 12th!

I'll let you know how it goes if I do tell them

I wonder if our mothers are related. Lol

LS

This is hilarious and I am thankful I only told my hubby, bestfriend, a cousin who wont say a word, and the lady who inspired me to do it because she had hers done. However, I did hear from my mother when I mentioned one time that I was debating on it. She said told me I could lose the weight by exercising and eating healthy. She also told me why didnt I just sew half of my mouth cause I eat too much. Before I got married she told me he would never marry me because I was fat and his parents wouldnt like me (BTW it was my second marriage and I was in my late 30s maybe early fortys and my husband was in his fifty's). When I started to lose weight on the preop diet she said "see you didnt really need surgery you just needed to eat healthy". Like I hadnt been eating organic for years now. I have heard her say surgery is the easy way out. Theres more but I think I better be done with my rant.

LS

I haven't had it yet, but decided to get it. I can't wait to just say I cheated- so wtf are you going to about??? Hahaha cheated... Love it.

Lol i love this reply. Maybe I should use it if I ever tell anyone.

LS

She shouldn't have asked. Hopefully she doesn't push the issue later if she does you could tell her what someone else said about HR.

It's hard especially if you had confided in her in the past when talking about your kids which is why you felt bad.

However, dont feel bad as it is none of her business.

LS

My favorite is Quest Protein shakes. They taste delicious. My favorite is the vanilla milkshake flavor. I bought the salted caramel flavor too and it was delicious as well but its not one I can do every day. I plan on tasting some of the other flavors they have. I do drink the vanilla and chocolate premiers as well.

LS

That sucks. She should know better than to say that. The surgery isn't easy, and the work is never over. I know most men don't usually express how they feel but it might be good to discuss this with her.

LS

I'm pretty much on the same boat as Diana except my mother started the criticism when I became a teenager. I didn't tell anyone in my family and I never will. I had my surgery May 9th and my husband was there for me. He was supportive and told me it was my decision whether or not I wanted to tell my family. My mother makes everything about her. When I initially mentioned that I was participating of weight loss classes and that if I didn't lose enough weight I would consider the surgery she went off on a drama queen attack.

It helped that my closest family member lives 400 miles away and my parents are 4000 miles away.

LS

@@LolaSerena - I'm glad it helped! And thanks! I was just telling someone else how shocked I am that it has all added up and here I am at goal at 1 year post-op. Never thought it would happen! But boy you should see some of my posts from the first few months! Just couldn't get past the "what have I done?!" stage. I am well past that now.

Oh Daisee: I am excited to see where the journey takes me. Some days are easier than others.

Hello

I had my sleeve on the 11th May and have those feelings as well. But mostly I feel energised and motivated. I think my not so great times stem from still being on liquids, I never thought I'd be excited to eat puréed food.

I'm still certain that this was right for me and I'm excited to start learning about food again.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

LS

Thank you Angela. It's good to know others feel the same way.

LS

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Congratulations on your success!!! That definitely gives me hope.

LS

Hello everyone:

I had my surgery on May 9th. I have yet to tell my family. My husband knows, my best friend knows, a lady who had the surgery knows and my one of my cousins knows that I trust not to say anything knows. Other than that I have yet to tell anyone else in my family because when I first mentioned it to my parents they immediately started to criticize and tell me that would be the biggest mistake of my life. I also did not want to have to explain myself.

I have lost some weight since the 9th but it has been slow which is fine. I probably won't see my family until the holiday which is far away.

I have my ups and downs with my relationship with my stomach and trying to work on my relationship with food. I hope with time the ups will far outnumber my downs.

LS

LS

Hello everyone:

I had my surgery on May 9th. I have yet to tell my family. My husband knows, my best friend knows, a lady who had the surgery knows and my one of my cousins knows that I trust not to say anything knows. Other than that I have yet to tell anyone else in my family because when I first mentioned it to my parents they immediately started to criticize and tell me that would be the biggest mistake of my life. I also did not want to have to explain myself.

I have lost some weight since the 9th but it has been slow which is fine. I probably won't see my family until the holiday which is far away.

I have my ups and downs with my relationship with my stomach and trying to work on my relationship with food. I hope with time the ups will far outnumber my downs.

LS

LS

I had my surgery on May 9th. I have yet to tell my family. My husband knows, my best friend knows, a lady who had the surgery knows and my one of my cousins knows that I trust not to say anything knows. Other than that I have yet to tell anyone else in my family because when I first mentioned it to my parents they immediately started to criticize and tell me that would be the biggest mistake of my life. I also did not want to have to explain myself.

I have lost some weight since the 9th but it has been slow which is fine. I probably won't see my family until the holiday which is far away.

I have my ups and downs with my relationship with my stomach and trying to work on my relationship with food. I hope with time the ups will far outnumber my downs.

LS

Hello everyone,

I had my sleeve on May 9th 2016. While at times I have felt like it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Other times it hasn't been that great. I feel good at times and other times not so great. I still do know this was and still is the best thing I coukd have done for my health I only hope that soon I can deal with my new normal and be able to part with the old normal.

LS