Connie Stapleton PhD

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Hours: M-F 24/7. No vacation pay. No sick days. No experience required, but must be willing to learn on the job… and put forth a tremendous amount of effort. GREAT BENEFITS.


If you saw that employment ad, would you apply for the job? Most of us would probably be curious…but that business about no vacation days and no days off may lead us to say, “No, thanks!” What if the job opening was for…MARRIAGE? Let's say you would be applying to be a wife or husband? Would you take the job?
What if the job opening was for PARENTHOOD? You'd be applying to be a mother or father. Would you sign on the dotted line?
Those two "jobs," spouse and parent - fit the job description above. You don't get days off from being a mom, dad or spouse - not if you want to be a really good parent or want your relationship to be healthy. You have to show up every day -- whether you feel like it or not.
In 2007, Cari (the Post Op of A Post Op & A Doc) accepted a position that was neither spouse nor parent (although she also held both of those positions). Her new job had the same requirements: 24/7, 365 days a year. Her new position was as a WLS post-op living a life in Recovery From Obesity. Oh, she didn't know it at the time, but living healthy is a full-time job. The benefits have been incredible for her – being able to enjoy improved health, wear cuter (and less expensive) clothes, enjoy activities she couldn’t when carrying excess weight (biking, hiking, and kayaking to name a few), being able to travel with ease, and enjoying an improved self-esteem leading to a more enjoyable work and social life.
Those benefits come with responsibilities, because being healthy is a JOB. Being healthy doesn't just happen. You have to show up and do the work. You don't get to "take a break" because you're tired and you don't get to play hookey or take sick days. If you're sick, you still need to take care of yourself.
Are you treating your obesity like a full-time job, or a hobby?
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time job. What sort of performance evaluation would you give yourself? How would a real-life employer deal with you if you weren’t performing the job duties you signed up for when you accepted the job?
Most employers would give you a warning and expect you to improve your efforts and performance in order to secure your position. If you continued to put forth minimal effort and consequently didn’t meet even minimal performance criteria, you’d eventually be fired.
When you made the decision to have weight loss surgery, you were made aware of the requirements for keeping your weight off: eating healthy foods in healthy portions, drinking lots of Water, and getting exercise on a regular basis, to name a few.
If you’re not following through with the job criteria you accepted when you decided to have weight loss surgery, who’s going to give you a warning? Maybe the doctor or nutritionist – if you attend your follow-up appointments. If you continue to treat your weight loss surgery like a part-time position or hobby, the benefits won’t be part of the package. But who can fire you?
A better option than quitting is to go after that great benefit package the job of healthy living offers and get some ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. Get to support groups, make an appointment with your nutritionist, get into therapy, find a mentor who lives a healthy lifestyle, and commit to your job/yourself. In order to perform better on your job, you need solid instruction on healthy living, eating and thinking.
This on-the-job instruction requires a whole lot more than a single visit to a nutritionist, a stopover at a support group meeting, a session with a surgeon and a 1-hour psych-eval. Yeah. A LOT MORE.
It might take a solid year or more of working with a life coach or personal trainer. It might take regular attendance at 12-Step meetings. It might take annual attendance at educational conferences, targeted toward living fully in Recovery From Obesity. It might take 3-5 years of therapy (we vote "highly likely" on this one)…Heck, It might take ALL of these things, and more.
THINK ABOUT IT: In the past, most obese people did a horrible job of managing a healthy weight. In fact, an employer would have fired The Post-Op (Cari) after moments of observing her on the job, based on how she took care of her health when she was at her highest weight. The idea that anyone would magically and immediately be able to perform the job of taking good care of their health simply by having weight loss surgery seems a bit…far-fetched. Don't you think?
To live fully in Recovery From Obesity, people need regular and ongoing ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. If you want a certificate suitable for framing or perhaps a 90-Day chip from OA, and a smiley face on your lab results as rewards for your efforts – go for it! Positive reinforcement… in non-edible forms!
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time position that requires ON-THE-JOB TRAINING for a long, long time. Understand that the benefits are the result of your very own effort and investment (of both time and money). What sorts of "training" programs are you involved with aiding your "job performance" in Recovery From Obesity?
A Post Op & A Doc have a copy of the Gotta Do ‘Em’s (and a lot more free handouts for you) on our website and on our Facebook page.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Hours: M-F 24/7. No vacation pay. No sick days. No experience required, but must be willing to learn on the job… and put forth a tremendous amount of effort. GREAT BENEFITS.


If you saw that employment ad, would you apply for the job? Most of us would probably be curious…but that business about no vacation days and no days off may lead us to say, “No, thanks!” What if the job opening was for…MARRIAGE? Let's say you would be applying to be a wife or husband? Would you take the job?
What if the job opening was for PARENTHOOD? You'd be applying to be a mother or father. Would you sign on the dotted line?
Those two "jobs," spouse and parent - fit the job description above. You don't get days off from being a mom, dad or spouse - not if you want to be a really good parent or want your relationship to be healthy. You have to show up every day -- whether you feel like it or not.
In 2007, Cari (the Post Op of A Post Op & A Doc) accepted a position that was neither spouse nor parent (although she also held both of those positions). Her new job had the same requirements: 24/7, 365 days a year. Her new position was as a WLS post-op living a life in Recovery From Obesity. Oh, she didn't know it at the time, but living healthy is a full-time job. The benefits have been incredible for her – being able to enjoy improved health, wear cuter (and less expensive) clothes, enjoy activities she couldn’t when carrying excess weight (biking, hiking, and kayaking to name a few), being able to travel with ease, and enjoying an improved self-esteem leading to a more enjoyable work and social life.
Those benefits come with responsibilities, because being healthy is a JOB. Being healthy doesn't just happen. You have to show up and do the work. You don't get to "take a break" because you're tired and you don't get to play hookey or take sick days. If you're sick, you still need to take care of yourself.
Are you treating your obesity like a full-time job, or a hobby?
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time job. What sort of performance evaluation would you give yourself? How would a real-life employer deal with you if you weren’t performing the job duties you signed up for when you accepted the job?
Most employers would give you a warning and expect you to improve your efforts and performance in order to secure your position. If you continued to put forth minimal effort and consequently didn’t meet even minimal performance criteria, you’d eventually be fired.
When you made the decision to have weight loss surgery, you were made aware of the requirements for keeping your weight off: eating healthy foods in healthy portions, drinking lots of Water, and getting exercise on a regular basis, to name a few.
If you’re not following through with the job criteria you accepted when you decided to have weight loss surgery, who’s going to give you a warning? Maybe the doctor or nutritionist – if you attend your follow-up appointments. If you continue to treat your weight loss surgery like a part-time position or hobby, the benefits won’t be part of the package. But who can fire you?
A better option than quitting is to go after that great benefit package the job of healthy living offers and get some ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. Get to support groups, make an appointment with your nutritionist, get into therapy, find a mentor who lives a healthy lifestyle, and commit to your job/yourself. In order to perform better on your job, you need solid instruction on healthy living, eating and thinking.
This on-the-job instruction requires a whole lot more than a single visit to a nutritionist, a stopover at a support group meeting, a session with a surgeon and a 1-hour psych-eval. Yeah. A LOT MORE.
It might take a solid year or more of working with a life coach or personal trainer. It might take regular attendance at 12-Step meetings. It might take annual attendance at educational conferences, targeted toward living fully in Recovery From Obesity. It might take 3-5 years of therapy (we vote "highly likely" on this one)…Heck, It might take ALL of these things, and more.
THINK ABOUT IT: In the past, most obese people did a horrible job of managing a healthy weight. In fact, an employer would have fired The Post-Op (Cari) after moments of observing her on the job, based on how she took care of her health when she was at her highest weight. The idea that anyone would magically and immediately be able to perform the job of taking good care of their health simply by having weight loss surgery seems a bit…far-fetched. Don't you think?
To live fully in Recovery From Obesity, people need regular and ongoing ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. If you want a certificate suitable for framing or perhaps a 90-Day chip from OA, and a smiley face on your lab results as rewards for your efforts – go for it! Positive reinforcement… in non-edible forms!
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time position that requires ON-THE-JOB TRAINING for a long, long time. Understand that the benefits are the result of your very own effort and investment (of both time and money). What sorts of "training" programs are you involved with aiding your "job performance" in Recovery From Obesity?
A Post Op & A Doc have a copy of the Gotta Do ‘Em’s (and a lot more free handouts for you) on our website and on our Facebook page.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Hours: M-F 24/7. No vacation pay. No sick days. No experience required, but must be willing to learn on the job… and put forth a tremendous amount of effort. GREAT BENEFITS.


If you saw that employment ad, would you apply for the job? Most of us would probably be curious…but that business about no vacation days and no days off may lead us to say, “No, thanks!” What if the job opening was for…MARRIAGE? Let's say you would be applying to be a wife or husband? Would you take the job?
What if the job opening was for PARENTHOOD? You'd be applying to be a mother or father. Would you sign on the dotted line?
Those two "jobs," spouse and parent - fit the job description above. You don't get days off from being a mom, dad or spouse - not if you want to be a really good parent or want your relationship to be healthy. You have to show up every day -- whether you feel like it or not.
In 2007, Cari (the Post Op of A Post Op & A Doc) accepted a position that was neither spouse nor parent (although she also held both of those positions). Her new job had the same requirements: 24/7, 365 days a year. Her new position was as a WLS post-op living a life in Recovery From Obesity. Oh, she didn't know it at the time, but living healthy is a full-time job. The benefits have been incredible for her – being able to enjoy improved health, wear cuter (and less expensive) clothes, enjoy activities she couldn’t when carrying excess weight (biking, hiking, and kayaking to name a few), being able to travel with ease, and enjoying an improved self-esteem leading to a more enjoyable work and social life.
Those benefits come with responsibilities, because being healthy is a JOB. Being healthy doesn't just happen. You have to show up and do the work. You don't get to "take a break" because you're tired and you don't get to play hookey or take sick days. If you're sick, you still need to take care of yourself.
Are you treating your obesity like a full-time job, or a hobby?
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time job. What sort of performance evaluation would you give yourself? How would a real-life employer deal with you if you weren’t performing the job duties you signed up for when you accepted the job?
Most employers would give you a warning and expect you to improve your efforts and performance in order to secure your position. If you continued to put forth minimal effort and consequently didn’t meet even minimal performance criteria, you’d eventually be fired.
When you made the decision to have weight loss surgery, you were made aware of the requirements for keeping your weight off: eating healthy foods in healthy portions, drinking lots of Water, and getting exercise on a regular basis, to name a few.
If you’re not following through with the job criteria you accepted when you decided to have weight loss surgery, who’s going to give you a warning? Maybe the doctor or nutritionist – if you attend your follow-up appointments. If you continue to treat your weight loss surgery like a part-time position or hobby, the benefits won’t be part of the package. But who can fire you?
A better option than quitting is to go after that great benefit package the job of healthy living offers and get some ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. Get to support groups, make an appointment with your nutritionist, get into therapy, find a mentor who lives a healthy lifestyle, and commit to your job/yourself. In order to perform better on your job, you need solid instruction on healthy living, eating and thinking.
This on-the-job instruction requires a whole lot more than a single visit to a nutritionist, a stopover at a support group meeting, a session with a surgeon and a 1-hour psych-eval. Yeah. A LOT MORE.
It might take a solid year or more of working with a life coach or personal trainer. It might take regular attendance at 12-Step meetings. It might take annual attendance at educational conferences, targeted toward living fully in Recovery From Obesity. It might take 3-5 years of therapy (we vote "highly likely" on this one)…Heck, It might take ALL of these things, and more.
THINK ABOUT IT: In the past, most obese people did a horrible job of managing a healthy weight. In fact, an employer would have fired The Post-Op (Cari) after moments of observing her on the job, based on how she took care of her health when she was at her highest weight. The idea that anyone would magically and immediately be able to perform the job of taking good care of their health simply by having weight loss surgery seems a bit…far-fetched. Don't you think?
To live fully in Recovery From Obesity, people need regular and ongoing ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. If you want a certificate suitable for framing or perhaps a 90-Day chip from OA, and a smiley face on your lab results as rewards for your efforts – go for it! Positive reinforcement… in non-edible forms!
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time position that requires ON-THE-JOB TRAINING for a long, long time. Understand that the benefits are the result of your very own effort and investment (of both time and money). What sorts of "training" programs are you involved with aiding your "job performance" in Recovery From Obesity?
A Post Op & A Doc have a copy of the Gotta Do ‘Em’s (and a lot more free handouts for you) on our website and on our Facebook page.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Hours: M-F 24/7. No vacation pay. No sick days. No experience required, but must be willing to learn on the job… and put forth a tremendous amount of effort. GREAT BENEFITS.


If you saw that employment ad, would you apply for the job? Most of us would probably be curious…but that business about no vacation days and no days off may lead us to say, “No, thanks!” What if the job opening was for…MARRIAGE? Let's say you would be applying to be a wife or husband? Would you take the job?
What if the job opening was for PARENTHOOD? You'd be applying to be a mother or father. Would you sign on the dotted line?
Those two "jobs," spouse and parent - fit the job description above. You don't get days off from being a mom, dad or spouse - not if you want to be a really good parent or want your relationship to be healthy. You have to show up every day -- whether you feel like it or not.
In 2007, Cari (the Post Op of A Post Op & A Doc) accepted a position that was neither spouse nor parent (although she also held both of those positions). Her new job had the same requirements: 24/7, 365 days a year. Her new position was as a WLS post-op living a life in Recovery From Obesity. Oh, she didn't know it at the time, but living healthy is a full-time job. The benefits have been incredible for her – being able to enjoy improved health, wear cuter (and less expensive) clothes, enjoy activities she couldn’t when carrying excess weight (biking, hiking, and kayaking to name a few), being able to travel with ease, and enjoying an improved self-esteem leading to a more enjoyable work and social life.
Those benefits come with responsibilities, because being healthy is a JOB. Being healthy doesn't just happen. You have to show up and do the work. You don't get to "take a break" because you're tired and you don't get to play hookey or take sick days. If you're sick, you still need to take care of yourself.
Are you treating your obesity like a full-time job, or a hobby?
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time job. What sort of performance evaluation would you give yourself? How would a real-life employer deal with you if you weren’t performing the job duties you signed up for when you accepted the job?
Most employers would give you a warning and expect you to improve your efforts and performance in order to secure your position. If you continued to put forth minimal effort and consequently didn’t meet even minimal performance criteria, you’d eventually be fired.
When you made the decision to have weight loss surgery, you were made aware of the requirements for keeping your weight off: eating healthy foods in healthy portions, drinking lots of Water, and getting exercise on a regular basis, to name a few.
If you’re not following through with the job criteria you accepted when you decided to have weight loss surgery, who’s going to give you a warning? Maybe the doctor or nutritionist – if you attend your follow-up appointments. If you continue to treat your weight loss surgery like a part-time position or hobby, the benefits won’t be part of the package. But who can fire you?
A better option than quitting is to go after that great benefit package the job of healthy living offers and get some ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. Get to support groups, make an appointment with your nutritionist, get into therapy, find a mentor who lives a healthy lifestyle, and commit to your job/yourself. In order to perform better on your job, you need solid instruction on healthy living, eating and thinking.
This on-the-job instruction requires a whole lot more than a single visit to a nutritionist, a stopover at a support group meeting, a session with a surgeon and a 1-hour psych-eval. Yeah. A LOT MORE.
It might take a solid year or more of working with a life coach or personal trainer. It might take regular attendance at 12-Step meetings. It might take annual attendance at educational conferences, targeted toward living fully in Recovery From Obesity. It might take 3-5 years of therapy (we vote "highly likely" on this one)…Heck, It might take ALL of these things, and more.
THINK ABOUT IT: In the past, most obese people did a horrible job of managing a healthy weight. In fact, an employer would have fired The Post-Op (Cari) after moments of observing her on the job, based on how she took care of her health when she was at her highest weight. The idea that anyone would magically and immediately be able to perform the job of taking good care of their health simply by having weight loss surgery seems a bit…far-fetched. Don't you think?
To live fully in Recovery From Obesity, people need regular and ongoing ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. If you want a certificate suitable for framing or perhaps a 90-Day chip from OA, and a smiley face on your lab results as rewards for your efforts – go for it! Positive reinforcement… in non-edible forms!
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time position that requires ON-THE-JOB TRAINING for a long, long time. Understand that the benefits are the result of your very own effort and investment (of both time and money). What sorts of "training" programs are you involved with aiding your "job performance" in Recovery From Obesity?
A Post Op & A Doc have a copy of the Gotta Do ‘Em’s (and a lot more free handouts for you) on our website and on our Facebook page.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Hours: M-F 24/7. No vacation pay. No sick days. No experience required, but must be willing to learn on the job… and put forth a tremendous amount of effort. GREAT BENEFITS.


If you saw that employment ad, would you apply for the job? Most of us would probably be curious…but that business about no vacation days and no days off may lead us to say, “No, thanks!” What if the job opening was for…MARRIAGE? Let's say you would be applying to be a wife or husband? Would you take the job?
What if the job opening was for PARENTHOOD? You'd be applying to be a mother or father. Would you sign on the dotted line?
Those two "jobs," spouse and parent - fit the job description above. You don't get days off from being a mom, dad or spouse - not if you want to be a really good parent or want your relationship to be healthy. You have to show up every day -- whether you feel like it or not.
In 2007, Cari (the Post Op of A Post Op & A Doc) accepted a position that was neither spouse nor parent (although she also held both of those positions). Her new job had the same requirements: 24/7, 365 days a year. Her new position was as a WLS post-op living a life in Recovery From Obesity. Oh, she didn't know it at the time, but living healthy is a full-time job. The benefits have been incredible for her – being able to enjoy improved health, wear cuter (and less expensive) clothes, enjoy activities she couldn’t when carrying excess weight (biking, hiking, and kayaking to name a few), being able to travel with ease, and enjoying an improved self-esteem leading to a more enjoyable work and social life.
Those benefits come with responsibilities, because being healthy is a JOB. Being healthy doesn't just happen. You have to show up and do the work. You don't get to "take a break" because you're tired and you don't get to play hookey or take sick days. If you're sick, you still need to take care of yourself.
Are you treating your obesity like a full-time job, or a hobby?
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time job. What sort of performance evaluation would you give yourself? How would a real-life employer deal with you if you weren’t performing the job duties you signed up for when you accepted the job?
Most employers would give you a warning and expect you to improve your efforts and performance in order to secure your position. If you continued to put forth minimal effort and consequently didn’t meet even minimal performance criteria, you’d eventually be fired.
When you made the decision to have weight loss surgery, you were made aware of the requirements for keeping your weight off: eating healthy foods in healthy portions, drinking lots of Water, and getting exercise on a regular basis, to name a few.
If you’re not following through with the job criteria you accepted when you decided to have weight loss surgery, who’s going to give you a warning? Maybe the doctor or nutritionist – if you attend your follow-up appointments. If you continue to treat your weight loss surgery like a part-time position or hobby, the benefits won’t be part of the package. But who can fire you?
A better option than quitting is to go after that great benefit package the job of healthy living offers and get some ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. Get to support groups, make an appointment with your nutritionist, get into therapy, find a mentor who lives a healthy lifestyle, and commit to your job/yourself. In order to perform better on your job, you need solid instruction on healthy living, eating and thinking.
This on-the-job instruction requires a whole lot more than a single visit to a nutritionist, a stopover at a support group meeting, a session with a surgeon and a 1-hour psych-eval. Yeah. A LOT MORE.
It might take a solid year or more of working with a life coach or personal trainer. It might take regular attendance at 12-Step meetings. It might take annual attendance at educational conferences, targeted toward living fully in Recovery From Obesity. It might take 3-5 years of therapy (we vote "highly likely" on this one)…Heck, It might take ALL of these things, and more.
THINK ABOUT IT: In the past, most obese people did a horrible job of managing a healthy weight. In fact, an employer would have fired The Post-Op (Cari) after moments of observing her on the job, based on how she took care of her health when she was at her highest weight. The idea that anyone would magically and immediately be able to perform the job of taking good care of their health simply by having weight loss surgery seems a bit…far-fetched. Don't you think?
To live fully in Recovery From Obesity, people need regular and ongoing ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. If you want a certificate suitable for framing or perhaps a 90-Day chip from OA, and a smiley face on your lab results as rewards for your efforts – go for it! Positive reinforcement… in non-edible forms!
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time position that requires ON-THE-JOB TRAINING for a long, long time. Understand that the benefits are the result of your very own effort and investment (of both time and money). What sorts of "training" programs are you involved with aiding your "job performance" in Recovery From Obesity?
A Post Op & A Doc have a copy of the Gotta Do ‘Em’s (and a lot more free handouts for you) on our website and on our Facebook page.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Hours: M-F 24/7. No vacation pay. No sick days. No experience required, but must be willing to learn on the job… and put forth a tremendous amount of effort. GREAT BENEFITS.


If you saw that employment ad, would you apply for the job? Most of us would probably be curious…but that business about no vacation days and no days off may lead us to say, “No, thanks!” What if the job opening was for…MARRIAGE? Let's say you would be applying to be a wife or husband? Would you take the job?
What if the job opening was for PARENTHOOD? You'd be applying to be a mother or father. Would you sign on the dotted line?
Those two "jobs," spouse and parent - fit the job description above. You don't get days off from being a mom, dad or spouse - not if you want to be a really good parent or want your relationship to be healthy. You have to show up every day -- whether you feel like it or not.
In 2007, Cari (the Post Op of A Post Op & A Doc) accepted a position that was neither spouse nor parent (although she also held both of those positions). Her new job had the same requirements: 24/7, 365 days a year. Her new position was as a WLS post-op living a life in Recovery From Obesity. Oh, she didn't know it at the time, but living healthy is a full-time job. The benefits have been incredible for her – being able to enjoy improved health, wear cuter (and less expensive) clothes, enjoy activities she couldn’t when carrying excess weight (biking, hiking, and kayaking to name a few), being able to travel with ease, and enjoying an improved self-esteem leading to a more enjoyable work and social life.
Those benefits come with responsibilities, because being healthy is a JOB. Being healthy doesn't just happen. You have to show up and do the work. You don't get to "take a break" because you're tired and you don't get to play hookey or take sick days. If you're sick, you still need to take care of yourself.
Are you treating your obesity like a full-time job, or a hobby?
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time job. What sort of performance evaluation would you give yourself? How would a real-life employer deal with you if you weren’t performing the job duties you signed up for when you accepted the job?
Most employers would give you a warning and expect you to improve your efforts and performance in order to secure your position. If you continued to put forth minimal effort and consequently didn’t meet even minimal performance criteria, you’d eventually be fired.
When you made the decision to have weight loss surgery, you were made aware of the requirements for keeping your weight off: eating healthy foods in healthy portions, drinking lots of Water, and getting exercise on a regular basis, to name a few.
If you’re not following through with the job criteria you accepted when you decided to have weight loss surgery, who’s going to give you a warning? Maybe the doctor or nutritionist – if you attend your follow-up appointments. If you continue to treat your weight loss surgery like a part-time position or hobby, the benefits won’t be part of the package. But who can fire you?
A better option than quitting is to go after that great benefit package the job of healthy living offers and get some ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. Get to support groups, make an appointment with your nutritionist, get into therapy, find a mentor who lives a healthy lifestyle, and commit to your job/yourself. In order to perform better on your job, you need solid instruction on healthy living, eating and thinking.
This on-the-job instruction requires a whole lot more than a single visit to a nutritionist, a stopover at a support group meeting, a session with a surgeon and a 1-hour psych-eval. Yeah. A LOT MORE.
It might take a solid year or more of working with a life coach or personal trainer. It might take regular attendance at 12-Step meetings. It might take annual attendance at educational conferences, targeted toward living fully in Recovery From Obesity. It might take 3-5 years of therapy (we vote "highly likely" on this one)…Heck, It might take ALL of these things, and more.
THINK ABOUT IT: In the past, most obese people did a horrible job of managing a healthy weight. In fact, an employer would have fired The Post-Op (Cari) after moments of observing her on the job, based on how she took care of her health when she was at her highest weight. The idea that anyone would magically and immediately be able to perform the job of taking good care of their health simply by having weight loss surgery seems a bit…far-fetched. Don't you think?
To live fully in Recovery From Obesity, people need regular and ongoing ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. If you want a certificate suitable for framing or perhaps a 90-Day chip from OA, and a smiley face on your lab results as rewards for your efforts – go for it! Positive reinforcement… in non-edible forms!
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time position that requires ON-THE-JOB TRAINING for a long, long time. Understand that the benefits are the result of your very own effort and investment (of both time and money). What sorts of "training" programs are you involved with aiding your "job performance" in Recovery From Obesity?
A Post Op & A Doc have a copy of the Gotta Do ‘Em’s (and a lot more free handouts for you) on our website and on our Facebook page.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Hours: M-F 24/7. No vacation pay. No sick days. No experience required, but must be willing to learn on the job… and put forth a tremendous amount of effort. GREAT BENEFITS.


If you saw that employment ad, would you apply for the job? Most of us would probably be curious…but that business about no vacation days and no days off may lead us to say, “No, thanks!” What if the job opening was for…MARRIAGE? Let's say you would be applying to be a wife or husband? Would you take the job?
What if the job opening was for PARENTHOOD? You'd be applying to be a mother or father. Would you sign on the dotted line?
Those two "jobs," spouse and parent - fit the job description above. You don't get days off from being a mom, dad or spouse - not if you want to be a really good parent or want your relationship to be healthy. You have to show up every day -- whether you feel like it or not.
In 2007, Cari (the Post Op of A Post Op & A Doc) accepted a position that was neither spouse nor parent (although she also held both of those positions). Her new job had the same requirements: 24/7, 365 days a year. Her new position was as a WLS post-op living a life in Recovery From Obesity. Oh, she didn't know it at the time, but living healthy is a full-time job. The benefits have been incredible for her – being able to enjoy improved health, wear cuter (and less expensive) clothes, enjoy activities she couldn’t when carrying excess weight (biking, hiking, and kayaking to name a few), being able to travel with ease, and enjoying an improved self-esteem leading to a more enjoyable work and social life.
Those benefits come with responsibilities, because being healthy is a JOB. Being healthy doesn't just happen. You have to show up and do the work. You don't get to "take a break" because you're tired and you don't get to play hookey or take sick days. If you're sick, you still need to take care of yourself.
Are you treating your obesity like a full-time job, or a hobby?
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time job. What sort of performance evaluation would you give yourself? How would a real-life employer deal with you if you weren’t performing the job duties you signed up for when you accepted the job?
Most employers would give you a warning and expect you to improve your efforts and performance in order to secure your position. If you continued to put forth minimal effort and consequently didn’t meet even minimal performance criteria, you’d eventually be fired.
When you made the decision to have weight loss surgery, you were made aware of the requirements for keeping your weight off: eating healthy foods in healthy portions, drinking lots of Water, and getting exercise on a regular basis, to name a few.
If you’re not following through with the job criteria you accepted when you decided to have weight loss surgery, who’s going to give you a warning? Maybe the doctor or nutritionist – if you attend your follow-up appointments. If you continue to treat your weight loss surgery like a part-time position or hobby, the benefits won’t be part of the package. But who can fire you?
A better option than quitting is to go after that great benefit package the job of healthy living offers and get some ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. Get to support groups, make an appointment with your nutritionist, get into therapy, find a mentor who lives a healthy lifestyle, and commit to your job/yourself. In order to perform better on your job, you need solid instruction on healthy living, eating and thinking.
This on-the-job instruction requires a whole lot more than a single visit to a nutritionist, a stopover at a support group meeting, a session with a surgeon and a 1-hour psych-eval. Yeah. A LOT MORE.
It might take a solid year or more of working with a life coach or personal trainer. It might take regular attendance at 12-Step meetings. It might take annual attendance at educational conferences, targeted toward living fully in Recovery From Obesity. It might take 3-5 years of therapy (we vote "highly likely" on this one)…Heck, It might take ALL of these things, and more.
THINK ABOUT IT: In the past, most obese people did a horrible job of managing a healthy weight. In fact, an employer would have fired The Post-Op (Cari) after moments of observing her on the job, based on how she took care of her health when she was at her highest weight. The idea that anyone would magically and immediately be able to perform the job of taking good care of their health simply by having weight loss surgery seems a bit…far-fetched. Don't you think?
To live fully in Recovery From Obesity, people need regular and ongoing ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. If you want a certificate suitable for framing or perhaps a 90-Day chip from OA, and a smiley face on your lab results as rewards for your efforts – go for it! Positive reinforcement… in non-edible forms!
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time position that requires ON-THE-JOB TRAINING for a long, long time. Understand that the benefits are the result of your very own effort and investment (of both time and money). What sorts of "training" programs are you involved with aiding your "job performance" in Recovery From Obesity?
A Post Op & A Doc have a copy of the Gotta Do ‘Em’s (and a lot more free handouts for you) on our website and on our Facebook page.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Hours: M-F 24/7. No vacation pay. No sick days. No experience required, but must be willing to learn on the job… and put forth a tremendous amount of effort. GREAT BENEFITS.


If you saw that employment ad, would you apply for the job? Most of us would probably be curious…but that business about no vacation days and no days off may lead us to say, “No, thanks!” What if the job opening was for…MARRIAGE? Let's say you would be applying to be a wife or husband? Would you take the job?
What if the job opening was for PARENTHOOD? You'd be applying to be a mother or father. Would you sign on the dotted line?
Those two "jobs," spouse and parent - fit the job description above. You don't get days off from being a mom, dad or spouse - not if you want to be a really good parent or want your relationship to be healthy. You have to show up every day -- whether you feel like it or not.
In 2007, Cari (the Post Op of A Post Op & A Doc) accepted a position that was neither spouse nor parent (although she also held both of those positions). Her new job had the same requirements: 24/7, 365 days a year. Her new position was as a WLS post-op living a life in Recovery From Obesity. Oh, she didn't know it at the time, but living healthy is a full-time job. The benefits have been incredible for her – being able to enjoy improved health, wear cuter (and less expensive) clothes, enjoy activities she couldn’t when carrying excess weight (biking, hiking, and kayaking to name a few), being able to travel with ease, and enjoying an improved self-esteem leading to a more enjoyable work and social life.
Those benefits come with responsibilities, because being healthy is a JOB. Being healthy doesn't just happen. You have to show up and do the work. You don't get to "take a break" because you're tired and you don't get to play hookey or take sick days. If you're sick, you still need to take care of yourself.
Are you treating your obesity like a full-time job, or a hobby?
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time job. What sort of performance evaluation would you give yourself? How would a real-life employer deal with you if you weren’t performing the job duties you signed up for when you accepted the job?
Most employers would give you a warning and expect you to improve your efforts and performance in order to secure your position. If you continued to put forth minimal effort and consequently didn’t meet even minimal performance criteria, you’d eventually be fired.
When you made the decision to have weight loss surgery, you were made aware of the requirements for keeping your weight off: eating healthy foods in healthy portions, drinking lots of Water, and getting exercise on a regular basis, to name a few.
If you’re not following through with the job criteria you accepted when you decided to have weight loss surgery, who’s going to give you a warning? Maybe the doctor or nutritionist – if you attend your follow-up appointments. If you continue to treat your weight loss surgery like a part-time position or hobby, the benefits won’t be part of the package. But who can fire you?
A better option than quitting is to go after that great benefit package the job of healthy living offers and get some ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. Get to support groups, make an appointment with your nutritionist, get into therapy, find a mentor who lives a healthy lifestyle, and commit to your job/yourself. In order to perform better on your job, you need solid instruction on healthy living, eating and thinking.
This on-the-job instruction requires a whole lot more than a single visit to a nutritionist, a stopover at a support group meeting, a session with a surgeon and a 1-hour psych-eval. Yeah. A LOT MORE.
It might take a solid year or more of working with a life coach or personal trainer. It might take regular attendance at 12-Step meetings. It might take annual attendance at educational conferences, targeted toward living fully in Recovery From Obesity. It might take 3-5 years of therapy (we vote "highly likely" on this one)…Heck, It might take ALL of these things, and more.
THINK ABOUT IT: In the past, most obese people did a horrible job of managing a healthy weight. In fact, an employer would have fired The Post-Op (Cari) after moments of observing her on the job, based on how she took care of her health when she was at her highest weight. The idea that anyone would magically and immediately be able to perform the job of taking good care of their health simply by having weight loss surgery seems a bit…far-fetched. Don't you think?
To live fully in Recovery From Obesity, people need regular and ongoing ON-THE-JOB TRAINING. If you want a certificate suitable for framing or perhaps a 90-Day chip from OA, and a smiley face on your lab results as rewards for your efforts – go for it! Positive reinforcement… in non-edible forms!
Recovery From Obesity is a full-time position that requires ON-THE-JOB TRAINING for a long, long time. Understand that the benefits are the result of your very own effort and investment (of both time and money). What sorts of "training" programs are you involved with aiding your "job performance" in Recovery From Obesity?
A Post Op & A Doc have a copy of the Gotta Do ‘Em’s (and a lot more free handouts for you) on our website and on our Facebook page.