Connie Stapleton PhD

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

It’s not about the food, but it’s all about the food.
Wait a minute -- if it’s not about the food, then why do we (the Post-Op & the Doc) keep talking about the RECIPE for Recovery? Don’t recipes involve food?
Not always…


Think about it:
Don’t you have a recipe for success?
How about a recipe for the perfect day?
…A recipe for family fun?
…A recipe for a natural spot remover?
…A recipe for composting?
What the…composting?! Remember, the Post-Op is from Southern California, where recycling is the law. Well – you may or may not be into recycling, but we’re pretty sure you’re into living fully. If you really want to live fully during and after the process of weight loss, then the RECIPE FOR RECOVERY is something you need!
Over the course of the year, we are looking at ways you can combine the ingredients for the recipe (AWARENESS, ACCEPTANCE, COMMITMENT, ATTITUDE, ACCOUNTABILITY, and EFFORT) to create your very own, personal, healthy life in RECOVERY – from…whatever (obesity, unhealthy relationships, habits, and behaviors)!
In last month’s article (Six Simple Ingredients to Get the Weight Off and Keep it Off) we introduced you to each of the ingredients in the RECIPE, and briefly discussed the how each is required to live fully in Recovery From Obesity.
This month is all about the “essential” ingredient: AWARENESS. We refer to awareness as being “essential” because you have to become aware of problems (food and non-food related) needing attention in order to work on them…which can be tricky…
After all, some things we are aware of and some things we might not be…
AWARENESS of things we don’t like
A food-related example: eating simple carbs usually results in weight gain
[*]AWARENESS of things we may be powerless to stop

A food-related example: what other people serve in their homes when we’re invited to a large dinner party
A non-food-related example: how others react to our weight loss
[*]AWARENESS of things that are scary

A food-related example: knowing that many holidays mean tempting foods will be prevalent in the media, at work, etc.
A non-food-related example: experiencing the feelings that accompany significant weight loss
[*]AWARENESS of things that seem overwhelming

A food-related example: avoiding unhealthy “treats” in the work break room
A non-food-related example: beginning and maintaining a regular exercise program



Fortunately, the RECIPE FOR RECOVERY is perfect for addressing all of those “things” – you know, those thoughts, feelings and behaviors that can distract us from making healthy changes in our lives. That’s precisely why we are presenting the recipe for you to follow!
Note: We are deliberately using the verb phrase “to follow” in relation to the Recipe for Recovery because the success of the recipe in creating what it is intended to create requires your ACTION. In this case, the recipe is intended to help you create a healthy life that allows you to live fully at a healthy weight. Just how much “action” is required depends on what you say you want for your life! For example, You decide how much and what type of exercise you’ll do, depending on how physically fit you want to be. You decide how much and what type of food you’ll eat each day to manage the healthy weight you desire. You decide who you associate with and how much time you spend with those people to live as healthy an emotional life as you want to live. You get it!
So, we’re clear that AWARENESS is the essential ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery because, well… nothing can be changed if you’re not AWARE that it needs to be changed. If you’re not aware that starches have little nutritional value, then you won’t reduce the number of starches you eat so you can maintain a healthy weight. If you aren’t aware that you have a habit of talking negatively about yourself and/or others, you can’t change it. If someone brings that negative habit to your attention, then you can make a decision about the type of person you want to be and put forth the effort and action needed to make those changes!
Awareness IS the first step and the essential ingredient for change. AWARENESS without ACTION, however, is like a treadmill with a bunch of clothes hanging on it – you’re aware that the treadmill is there, but you aren’t using it. We are providing you with the ingredients to include awareness, but it’s up to you to put them into action.
We know that being aware of things can be difficult and uncomfortable. This may be the reason so many people focus so much time and energy being aware of things in others rather than focusing on their own problematic behaviors! How often do we know what others must do to change? How much time to do we spend telling others how to fix their problems? We are aware that the neighbors need to mow and Water their lawn, but happily ignore our own weeds! Hmm, that might be why one of the main tenets in the 12-Step Recovery world is: Sweep your own side of the street (mind your own business). If you’re more worried about what others are doing wrong, the first step is to become aware of your own “stuff.” To do that, turn those binoculars you’ve pointed at the neighbors directly around and look at yourself. You know, like the “selfie” button on your camera phone…uh, but this time, you don’t have to post your “self-examination” on Facebook!
How do you begin to USE the essential ingredient, awareness? Well, if you’ve decided that you want to live fully in Recovery and want to follow the Recipe, we suggest you start by paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors – especially when you eat. Start writing down the circumstances surrounding your eating and see if you spot trends. Remember to focus on yourself and what you need to do to live fully. Let others follow the recipe for themselves! Over the course of the next few weeks, we’ll be posting some questions on our Facebook wall to help you identify areas of your life that will benefit from healthy change, so be sure to check in regularly to A Post-Op & A Doc on Facebook. And join us on March 18th for our March APODCast, which will be all about AWARENESS. Be sure to RSVP…it’s totally free (http://www.spreecast.com/events/apodcast-awareness-essential-ingredient)!

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

It’s not about the food, but it’s all about the food.
Wait a minute -- if it’s not about the food, then why do we (the Post-Op & the Doc) keep talking about the RECIPE for Recovery? Don’t recipes involve food?
Not always…


Think about it:
Don’t you have a recipe for success?
How about a recipe for the perfect day?
…A recipe for family fun?
…A recipe for a natural spot remover?
…A recipe for composting?
What the…composting?! Remember, the Post-Op is from Southern California, where recycling is the law. Well – you may or may not be into recycling, but we’re pretty sure you’re into living fully. If you really want to live fully during and after the process of weight loss, then the RECIPE FOR RECOVERY is something you need!
Over the course of the year, we are looking at ways you can combine the ingredients for the recipe (AWARENESS, ACCEPTANCE, COMMITMENT, ATTITUDE, ACCOUNTABILITY, and EFFORT) to create your very own, personal, healthy life in RECOVERY – from…whatever (obesity, unhealthy relationships, habits, and behaviors)!
In last month’s article (Six Simple Ingredients to Get the Weight Off and Keep it Off) we introduced you to each of the ingredients in the RECIPE, and briefly discussed the how each is required to live fully in Recovery From Obesity.
This month is all about the “essential” ingredient: AWARENESS. We refer to awareness as being “essential” because you have to become aware of problems (food and non-food related) needing attention in order to work on them…which can be tricky…
After all, some things we are aware of and some things we might not be…
AWARENESS of things we don’t like
A food-related example: eating simple carbs usually results in weight gain
[*]AWARENESS of things we may be powerless to stop

A food-related example: what other people serve in their homes when we’re invited to a large dinner party
A non-food-related example: how others react to our weight loss
[*]AWARENESS of things that are scary

A food-related example: knowing that many holidays mean tempting foods will be prevalent in the media, at work, etc.
A non-food-related example: experiencing the feelings that accompany significant weight loss
[*]AWARENESS of things that seem overwhelming

A food-related example: avoiding unhealthy “treats” in the work break room
A non-food-related example: beginning and maintaining a regular exercise program



Fortunately, the RECIPE FOR RECOVERY is perfect for addressing all of those “things” – you know, those thoughts, feelings and behaviors that can distract us from making healthy changes in our lives. That’s precisely why we are presenting the recipe for you to follow!
Note: We are deliberately using the verb phrase “to follow” in relation to the Recipe for Recovery because the success of the recipe in creating what it is intended to create requires your ACTION. In this case, the recipe is intended to help you create a healthy life that allows you to live fully at a healthy weight. Just how much “action” is required depends on what you say you want for your life! For example, You decide how much and what type of exercise you’ll do, depending on how physically fit you want to be. You decide how much and what type of food you’ll eat each day to manage the healthy weight you desire. You decide who you associate with and how much time you spend with those people to live as healthy an emotional life as you want to live. You get it!
So, we’re clear that AWARENESS is the essential ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery because, well… nothing can be changed if you’re not AWARE that it needs to be changed. If you’re not aware that starches have little nutritional value, then you won’t reduce the number of starches you eat so you can maintain a healthy weight. If you aren’t aware that you have a habit of talking negatively about yourself and/or others, you can’t change it. If someone brings that negative habit to your attention, then you can make a decision about the type of person you want to be and put forth the effort and action needed to make those changes!
Awareness IS the first step and the essential ingredient for change. AWARENESS without ACTION, however, is like a treadmill with a bunch of clothes hanging on it – you’re aware that the treadmill is there, but you aren’t using it. We are providing you with the ingredients to include awareness, but it’s up to you to put them into action.
We know that being aware of things can be difficult and uncomfortable. This may be the reason so many people focus so much time and energy being aware of things in others rather than focusing on their own problematic behaviors! How often do we know what others must do to change? How much time to do we spend telling others how to fix their problems? We are aware that the neighbors need to mow and Water their lawn, but happily ignore our own weeds! Hmm, that might be why one of the main tenets in the 12-Step Recovery world is: Sweep your own side of the street (mind your own business). If you’re more worried about what others are doing wrong, the first step is to become aware of your own “stuff.” To do that, turn those binoculars you’ve pointed at the neighbors directly around and look at yourself. You know, like the “selfie” button on your camera phone…uh, but this time, you don’t have to post your “self-examination” on Facebook!
How do you begin to USE the essential ingredient, awareness? Well, if you’ve decided that you want to live fully in Recovery and want to follow the Recipe, we suggest you start by paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors – especially when you eat. Start writing down the circumstances surrounding your eating and see if you spot trends. Remember to focus on yourself and what you need to do to live fully. Let others follow the recipe for themselves! Over the course of the next few weeks, we’ll be posting some questions on our Facebook wall to help you identify areas of your life that will benefit from healthy change, so be sure to check in regularly to A Post-Op & A Doc on Facebook. And join us on March 18th for our March APODCast, which will be all about AWARENESS. Be sure to RSVP…it’s totally free (http://www.spreecast.com/events/apodcast-awareness-essential-ingredient)!

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

Confidence is a turn-on.
Arrogance is a turn-off.
We, the Post Op and the Doc, discuss RECOVERY all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. Why? Because we believe in it and know the healing power it brings.


We’ve never really talked specifically about "confidence" and "arrogance" per se, but we talk about narcissism and selfishness and how destructive they are to our Recovery from Obesity. That makes it entirely understandable that many recovery "newbies" could easily confuse the two.
If a person comes from (a perceived place of) “nothing” into a big, new life of potential “everything,” the pendulum can (and often does) overcompensate (swings wildly in the other direction). In other words, if you start from a place where you’re thinking you have little value (perhaps based on your weight) – it is sometimes the case that to people appear to be … overvaluing themselves (think a posted selfie … or two or three… each day for a solid year). Is either of those extremes a healthy place to be… or could it be that they may actually represent the same issue?
There is a continuum on which most “issues” can be placed. Think a straight line with a far left side, a center, and a far right side (sounds like politics, right?)! On that continuum we are talking about at the moment, there is a line of unhealthy to healthy behaviors. Think of feeling insignificant on the far left of the line, feeling confident in the middle, and feeling arrogance on the extreme right end of the line. In other words, sometimes when a person goes from a place of feeling insignificant (in this case, perhaps related to being obese), sometimes they "overshoot" the goal of having confidence and end up acting "arrogant."
And this is true for many other “issues” we could put on that imaginary line. Think “completely independent/I don’t need anyone” as being on the far left, healthy independence being in the center and “totally dependent on others” as being on the far right end.
Here’s the deal: both the far left and the far right “issue” actually represent the same thing … an unhealthy extreme… of the same problem. Think about it. A person who feels/acts terribly insignificant AND a person who feels/acts arrogant are both acting out the same issue… feelings of poor self-esteem. The healthy place to be on a continuum of healthy self-esteem is in the middle… feeling/acting confident.
It truly is often the case that people swing from one end of the extreme to the other. It can look very different, but to those who understand this tendency of human behavior… it makes perfect sense. Balance lies in the middle of extremes. In this case, confidence is the healthy place of balance between feeling and acting insignificant and feeling and acting arrogant.
In the example of someone who acts like they don’t need anyone else in their life, whether for companionship or ask assistance from on one of the scale to the person who is so “needy” or dependent on the other, the issue is the same – dependency. On one end is the person who refuses to acknowledge the need for depending on others at times. On the other end is the person who can’t seem to think for themselves, go anywhere alone, or be alone for five minutes. The healthy place of balance is in the middle – being someone who has healthy dependency… can manage on their own at times and knows they need others, as well.
In recovery, the goal is to allow the pendulum to settle, rather than swing wildly, and arrive at the center of the continuum! (Hmmm…pendulums and continuums…who knew?)
A great way to encourage balance is to listen to trusted friends who are willing to tell you things you might not want to hear. And…get ready to say "Ouch!" because it often hurts…
Fortunately, if you are open to considering the possibility that your trusted friends might be right, you open yourself to the possibility of health and peace of mind in recovery. Doesn't that seem like a healthy trade-off? A little hurt for a lot of healing?
If you were to place yourself on that continuum of self-worth/self-value, where do you think you'd be? No judgment -- Remember, AWARENESS and ACCEPTANCE are critical to recovery, so if you don't admit stuff, you can't change it.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life.
The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller.


The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life.
The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc?
The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!”
My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery.
The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation?
The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing.
Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?”
The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to Celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day.
The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life.
The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you?
ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!

A Post-Op & A Doc (Cari De La Cruz and Connie Stapleton, Ph.D.) have officially designated 2015 as the Year of Recovery. There are just six, basic ingredients, which, if added to your life, can help you reach and manage your goals to lose weight and keep it off.
The good news is:
1) You already have everything you need to begin following the recipe.
2) It doesn’t involve shellfish, peanuts or milk, so you can’t possibly be allergic to it,
3) There is no baking, cooking, sautéing or mixing required, because the Recipe for Recovery doesn’t involve food, but does involve eating.


We like to say that obesity is “all about the food, but it isn’t about the food” (which makes you wonder why we’re talking about a recipe and ingredients). Well, let’s start here: Do you eat when you’re upset, stressed or worried? What are you eating to avoid? Are you eating to avoid a person? a situation? a feeling? By following the Recipe for Recovery, you can learn to deal directly with any upset, stress or worry related to any “what” or “who” so you don’t need to turn to food for a short-term “high” or “fix.” Here’s another one: Do you eat when you’re bored? What do you need when you’re bored? Are you in need of a hobby? Companionship? What are you doing to find a healthy hobby or seek healthy companionship so you don’t automatically turn to food? These are some of the important questions you’ll begin to ask yourself as you learn follow the Recipe for Recovery.
We know these are tough things to think about – especially when we’re busy plotting our next snack or obsessing about the box of donuts in the break room at work – fortunately, you don’t need to answer these questions BEFORE you can begin choosing to live in Recovery From Obesity. In other words, you don’t have to know what, where, or why in order to stop the destructive eating behaviors.
Basically, food is often a SYMPTOM of a problem – not THE PROBLEM. For example, you might have a problem with interpersonal relationships or issues at work, or perhaps a battle within yourself – like an “emotional storm” -- where you say really mean, negative, unpleasant things TO yourself ABOUT yourself. Rather than addressing the problem, you turn to food, so food becomes the focus rather than the actual problem! Unfortunately, food is a temporary (very temporary) reprieve from unpleasant feelings, memories, or thoughts and though it provides a chemically induced euphoria…it’s short-lived. What is true for the alcoholic is also true for people who abuse themselves with food, which means the problem will still be there when the food is gone…. and then you have the hangover to deal with -- usually in the form of self-brutality by way of horrendously abusive self-talk. Yikes!
We created the Recipe for Recovery from Obesity to help you learn to deal with the real issues (stress, worry, boredom, frustration, fear) in healthy ways (and to hopefully avoid the self-destructive eating and subsequent emotional hangovers).
Here are the six ingredients that make up the Recipe for Recovery:
1. AWARENESS: Awareness is always the first step in change, which is why we refer to it as the essential ingredient to weight loss and weight-management. It’s pretty hard to change something you’re not aware of. You might know that you’re obese, but are you aware of how you are contributing to the problem? Maybe you’re stuck in your weight loss journey, or you’re regaining, or you never made it to your “goal” – you’re aware that there’s a problem – but you don’t know what to do next. Becoming AWARE of your issues is the place to start.
2. ACCEPTANCE: This is often an overlooked ingredient in weight loss/management. If you don’t accept that weight and the associated issues are ongoing problems in your life, then it’ll be pretty difficult to make the necessary changes to lose that weight and keep it off! The truth is, there are many things we need to accept in our journeys of weight loss/management that you may not have ever considered, such as the fact that you’ll have to eat right and exercise regularly, and will probably have to forego (or greatly limit) some of the foods you really love. The process of acceptance may include having some anger, fear and even mourning. Accept it – and get on with the process!
3. ATTITUDE: We call this the flavorful ingredient (and for some of us, this one is pretty spicy!) We all have different “tastes” when it comes to food… and life, which means that we don’t all like the same things or do the same things in exactly the same ways! Variety is the spice of life? Well, we think attitude is the FLAVOR of recovery! Focusing on attitude and having a positive one can make all the difference in your Recovery results!
4. COMMITMENT: You’ll use this staple ingredient at least once (and sometimes several times) each day in your Recovery journey, especially when you inevitably develop a case of the “I-don’t-wannas” – you know, those moments when you just “don’t wanna…” workout…log your food…manage your portions, pass on the Cookies, etc. Adding a dash or a splash of commitment to your life helps you make the next wise choice. Every wise choice moves you toward your desired goals – a healthier self and a better quality of life.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY: Often quite underused, Accountability is an ingredient to help ensure the recipe is prepared as directed. We know it can be tempting to try to do things your own way, and we also know how that’s worked in the past! That’s where accountability really brings the Recipe for Recovery to life! Use accountability to do what you said you’d do when you began your weight loss journey. Whether you chose surgery, medically supervised weight loss, or another structured program, you agreed to do certain things, so this ingredient really matters. Hold yourself accountable for following through with doing the things you said you would do to get the weight off and keep the weight off.
6. EFFORT: The sixth (and key) ingredient in the Recipe for Recovery is Effort. Without ongoing, consistent, “use-it-whether-you-feel-like-it-or-not” – continual effort, the recipe will NOT turn out the way you want. Let us repeat: Your Recovery will NOT be successful if you do NOT use this key ingredient. When you put forth effort, you see results in the direction you are working toward. When you withhold efforts, you also see results – but not the ones you want! And, guess what? You can’t overuse this ingredient, so add it liberally and realize the fullness of a life in Recovery!
It may sound like a lot of work, but if you want what you say you want (a healthy life in Recovery From Obesity) -- these ingredients really add up to a winning result!