ava32

No problem, let us know how it works out! [emoji6]

It is hard advice to take because losing weight makes your hormones rage, and men will pay you a lot of attention. They can smell it almost, lol.
Still I have never been this small in my adult life. It really took a while for me to get used to. You are younger and haven't been heavy as long so it might be easier for you to adjust to. I have been in normal sizes for months, but it has only been in the past couple months that I have really been able to accept that I am smaller normal sized woman and not a deflated fat person.
When I was dating last year, every time a guy broke it off or things didn't work out I assumed it was because of my loose skin or how my body looks. Even though not one man has ever said anything negative about my body, I get told I am beautiful constantly. It was just my issue.
You need a thick skin for dating. So until you are sure you have a clear grasp on the new you, just do you.

My suggestion is don't date until after you are at goal and have been. There for 6 months to a year. You need to get used to your new self.
Learn from my mistakes.

I don't think those are all 'post op' issues. The 'gaining attention' sure. But try to enjoy it. Imagine it from a guys perspective. Once the weight is off, what women do I approach? I don't have the years of practice, lol.

Receiving complements - I think lots of women (and some men) struggle with that, combine some self-esteem issuing with not wanting to be conceited and boom. Just try to take them in the spirit they are given. If a guy says, "you're the best thing I've seen all day." Hey, if he's cute, ask him where he's been. Lol.

Dating etiquette - that's a loaded one. You have to find a balance. I tend to enjoy learning about people, warts and all, so I'm hard to shock, bit you can overshare with some people. Again, something we all go through.

Working thru issues - another loaded one. Personally, I've tried (with some success) to take people art face value. Just try to keep your eyes and ears open. Sometimes the signs are there, but we don't want to be alone. Dating is like a job interview. People try to put their best foot forward. Eventually (I have a six month theory) the real them comes out.

To clarify the things I find the most awkward/frustrating about dating post op are:

*gaining attention
*receiving compliments
*general dating etiquette( figuring out how to be open but not reveal much too soon, etc)
*working through emotional/psychological issues while dating (i.e. "Does this guy really want ME?")

Is it the eating our that is awkward?

Hello! I'm currently 80 pounds down from my HW. I had surgery 10/10/16. Lately I've been getting a lot of attention from men. I just turned 24 and unfortunately I don't have much dating experience. Growing up I used my weight as crutch and refused to put myself out there .

How the hell am I supposed to navigate the dating scene? Should I date bariatric surgery guys only, because it is implied they understand this journey? What am I to do?

Hernia?

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I'm just about 3 months post op and every once in a while I feel a "pulling" sensation around my belly button. It eventually goes away but I just would like to know the cause of it. Because I'm scared of being a failure with this surgery I have been going to the gym 6-7 days a week and I enjoy using the ab machines. I've noticed that after using the machines or picking up something heavy that the "pulling" comes back. I thought after 6 weeks we could go back to functioning as normal i.e. lifting and exercising.

Has anyone experienced this feeling before? I have my 100 day post op appointment coming up soon so I will mention it. I'm just scared that I'd have to be opened up again.

I am currently going through this... I don't want to quit though? I feel happy and self esteem is high when I am intoxicated I look frwd to the weekends to get drunk, sloppy snooki drunk but not sexually wild, just dance wild and fun! It's been 2 weeks since I had my last drink, only because my work schedule, I am mandatory to work more hours and every other weekend now. So maybe it is a good thing but this weekend I am off and can not wait to drink the night away! I feel so anxious for this weekend!

I am so depressed, I take zoloft and xanax to help me.. but it isn't working. I can totally feel your pain.

I was sleeved 10/10/ 16

I just don't feel like I'm losing enough weight. Compared to the people I see on my Instagram my progress is disappointing. I know I shouldn't compare myself but it is hard not to when people are posting there updates. I try to be positive and congratulate them but deep down I'm frustrated and envious. I was thinking of deleting my app until I got into a more secure place in my journey.

In the meantime I've reached out to people who are several months out to see if they remember a slow start at the beginning. Some did experience the same but I still feel like an isolated case. A lady also sent me a picture of the average weight loss depending on pre op weight.

While I was deciding on getting surgery I watched a lot of YouTube videos of people who accredited the sleeve for giving them their life back. I guess I'm just nervous that I won't be able to say the same.

Attached is the picture the woman sent me.

I had my sleeve mid-October and have lost about a pound a day since surgery. I'm happy with those results, however I know others that have lost 15-20 lbs 7-10 days out. I'm just curious to see what the norm is.

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Currently going through this now. I had surgery 10/10 and I honestly don't feel the weight is falling off like I hoped. I'm a part of the Bariatric surgery community on Instagram so I get a lot of progress updates from people who have similar surgery dates. I feel like I'm behind the rest of the class. People keep telling me not give up and keep my working hard. Honestly at times I have "buyer's remorse" and feel having surgery was a waste. It is extremely difficult to see the light at end of the tunnel.

I'm for days post-op and I'm still experiencing gas pain. I feel pressure just underneath my breast/top of my torso. It makes it difficult to find a comfortable position to sit/sleep. I've already reached out to my WLS community on Instagram. They recommend: walking, herbal tea, Gas X strips and using a heating pad.

I decided to post on this platform to gain anymore suggestions. I know this is part of the process but if there are any methods to alleviate gas pain I would like to try it out. The pain isn't severe enough to call my surgeon. It is most just nagging.

I'll tell you what's been working for my gas after my bypass surgery in May I have been using some baby has drops and it helps.

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Wow. Really? Never heard of those. Where did you buy them?

I feel bad for you. I think i was lucky as far as the gas was concerned. I remembered reading about the pain so when i was in the hospital i walked literally my ass off...lol. But i get that pain after i drink maybe 2,3 sips. I cant get my Protein shakes in. They give me gas. And ive still havent had a b movement. Thats my problem

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I ran laps around my nurses while in the hospital. They couldn't keep up with me. Lol. So far premier Protein Shakes make me extremely nauseous. I mix unflavored whey Protein with zero calorie Powerade. And no bm on my end either.

That can go on for a week with some bursts for a few days after that(my experience). Force your self to walk. I know it's uncomfortable and you're tired but frequent walking really gets it moving and out.do you have a prescribed PPI to take like omprezole. If not you may want to ask for it. Feel better

Okay so this sounds normal. Walking is the major key to get through this. I will continue to push myself more. Thanks! [emoji4]

I'm for days post-op and I'm still experiencing gas pain. I feel pressure just underneath my breast/top of my torso. It makes it difficult to find a comfortable position to sit/sleep. I've already reached out to my WLS community on Instagram. They recommend: walking, herbal tea, Gas X strips and using a heating pad.

I decided to post on this platform to gain anymore suggestions. I know this is part of the process but if there are any methods to alleviate gas pain I would like to try it out. The pain isn't severe enough to call my surgeon. It is most just nagging.

After a grueling process full of ups and downs I will be sleeved Monday October 10th in Seattle, WA. I started this journey December '15 and wanted to give up so many times. I struggled with the demands of my insurance, being approved for FMLA and most importantly my emotions. There is no way anyone can say I took the "easy way out".

My pre-op diet consisted of 2-3 weeks of high Protein and less than 20 grams of carbs per day. liquids only the day before surgery and NPO 12 prior to surgery time.

I'm so excited but at the same time my nerves are getting to me bad. Im mostly scared of blood clots. I'm a pre-nursing student so I know the threat blood clots pose. Then there is the fear of failing at using my tool effectively.

After Monday I plan on being a lot more active on this platform. I have already started an Instagram to document my journey.

So around the july 25th?ish I made a point to talk to my boss and give her a heads up since I had just met with my surgeon. Being I work in a hospital on a very busy floor I have been wanting to give as much notice as possible so we can find a stand in for my shifts. Well my next appointment is set for sept 1st but the insurance company called this past Tuesday saying I had been approved, which was weeks faster then we had planned. Also the dr told me I had to lose 15 lbs, and so far I've dropped 12. So I will be calling my surgeon to get an appointment in the next few days to move this along quicker. So this is all moving much faster then I had planned. I tried to explain that to my boss and instead of looking at a 3rd week n sept date I looking at a last week of Aug date. Our schedule are put out for 28 days at a time which means I will still work all but 1 week of this next schedule. Anyway it didn't go over very well and she got about half way through the statement of "well I can't guarantee your job". I'm more then a little worried about losing said job but I have no protection under fmla since I've only been with my hospital 7 months. But it more then a little irritates mr becuase when i first told her about this she aaid she would do whatever we needed because this was important. At the same time I don't think I can put this off again, this is the second time I've had to do all this I'm ready to be on the other side of it. Ugh just really frustrated... I don't want to lose my job but I can't wait another month I've been on a modified liquid diet for 2 weeks already

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Oh my goodness our situations are too similar. I just finished my six month supervised weight loss and attended my final review with surgeon and nurse coordinator. Unbeknownst to me my insurance from my job (hospital) that I started this year in April just kicked in. So the day after my final review the nurse coordinator called and said that my work insurance is now my primary insurance (previously it was the insurance through my mom) and my work's insurance has different guidelines for approval. One being that I only had to do 3 months instead of 6(what my mom's insurance required). That didn't upset me too much, but what did is that I now have to weigh 20% less than I did at my initial consult. Now everything is stalled until I loose 5 more pounds.

The unit I work on isn't too busy but it is fairly new so we don't have a lot of staff. I've been keeping my manager updated as much as I can but I'm so pissed off. I am hoping to get a surgery date before the new schedules are posted. I was not anticipating this road block in my life right now. I'm currently applying to nursing school and now I have the pressure to loose 5 pounds ASAP.

I was supposed to be done after my final review. I just feel so discouraged I don't know what to do. I've been drinking broth and Protein shakes trying to loose weight as fast as I can. Working full time AND preparing for nursing school really has me wanting to dig into some carbs but I can't.

I'm 23 and still pre op. It seems like every month as I get closer to the end of my supervised weight loss a new fear cripples me. One month it was loose skin, then possible blood clots, another was life long nutrient battles and just recently my coworkers finding out. Then I worried if I will totally regret getting surgery. I too battle severe depression & anxiety and I'm working on controlling them.

I am open to being a buddy and going through this journey together. I think because this is all new territory for us we let our anxiety get the best of us.

Actually, as a 70-year-old who was once 20-something I do think there are some unique issues that people your age go through related to bariatric surgery.

You're in SUCH a different point of life than folks in their 40s and older. You're still trying to find your way in life in every way imaginable. Your obesity has such a big impact on all of your navigational challenges.

Life and its burdens teach us a lot of lessons about what we're made of and how we can come through adversity, endure pain, and come out stronger than before. But most of you haven't dealt with some of these adversities: You probably haven't been married yet -- or divorced yet. Most of you haven't had children yet or cared for your own parents as they ail or age. You haven't yet changed your career trajectory more than once. Many of the lessons those experiences teach translate well in terms of the courage and self-confidence we need to succeed with WLS.

On the plus side, obesity probably hasn't yet had a chance to impact your health, like it has for middle-aged folks and older. You have much more energy than we do. Your metabolic rate is higher than ours. Your body's ability to recover from WLS and to look like we all want to look like is far superior to older folks'. Your double chins will disappear. You won't have any wrinkles. For the most part, your skin will pop back and look like you were never overweight. Few of you will need plastic surgery.

On the other hand, the 20s-style social life means you are probably spending much more time in bars and clubs than older folks. Alcohol and other drugs have caloric and other downsides for those following a WLS lifestyle.

As some here have described, fewer people in their 20s are obese, compared to the proportion of obese people in their 40s and older. So that means your age-peers are not as sympathetic to the plights of the obese and are perhaps more ignorant and more scornful of WLS as a treatment for obesity. So, yeah, those are tougher attitudinal environments than older WLS patients have to weather.

So I agree that you could be the one to focus on your generation and WLS. Do some serious research of your own. Interview surgeons. Interview patients. Report on their observations and experiences. You could start by blogging about your own experiences. Other 20-something WLS patients may also be blogging about theirs.

You could write the book, go on tour, become a talk show host, build a media empire, become a bazillionaire!

(You're welcome. )

Thank you for explaining this so well. I think sometimes older people don't realize that we are in completely different stages in our life. Most resources/advice I feel is geared towards the 35 and above crowd in many publications. I think as more younger people get the surgery, their experiences and results can form a new bank of information for those coming after us.

I really haven't given it much thought.

The plan for losing the weight has been fairly straightforward and simply explained by my surgeon. No book needed there.

My bariatric center maintains a fb page where the center's patients can stay in touch with the NUTs and each other.

Then there is Bariatric Pal....a group of folks that are connected by our common purpose. This place is way more of a resource to me than any book or youtube videos. There are plenty folks around here that are very much young at heart.....and growing younger by the day.

true I didn't necessarily mean like a heres how you lose weight book i mean there are plenty of those out there i just thought it'd be cool if there were maybe books about peoples journey that I could relate to or like a here was my experience the funny moments or the do's and don't i learned I don't know I guess I am a bit of an over prep type of person and as for the youtube i just generally enjoy youtube videos maybe its because i am a youtuber myself I don't know its fun to watch videos sometimes and see how people although they are going through the same thing may live totally differently and it'd be nice to see more people my age doing it I have seen plenty of books or youtube channels on the vsg and peoples experiences and I have only seen like a handful of peoples in 20's do it was more so making an observation

Agreed! I've found maybe 5 people on YouTube in their 20's, everyone else is much older. I've been able to find a larger population on Instagram and for the most part are really supportive.

I have also have been searching for some type of guidance on WLS for your 20's. I have so many questions about the holistic lifestyle change of getting surgery in your 20's. Posting questions here is nice, but your not guaranteed to get replies. I think it is important to have information regarding life after surgery specific to our age group.

Learn to swim and ride a bike. Go zip lining without thinking the harness will give out and I'll plummet to my death. Also shopping in non plus size sections/stores.

Hey ava if you dont mind me asking what insurance do you have thats requiring all of this ps do what makes YOU happy

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I have Uniform Medical, they have me jumping through hoops. Now I have to see a psychiatrist because the psychologist from the weight loss center that I meant ONCE, wrote in her notes 4 months ago that I'm extremely depressed and need to talk to someone. So now if I don't, my insurance will not approve me.

People who think WLS is the easy way out don't get it. It still comes down to eating healthy at a drastic restriction and working out for it to be successful. Someone made the comment to me this weekend about the pounds just melting off and it makes me mad. The pounds are not melting off, I'm working extremely hard to lose those pounds. She doesn't even know I had surgery. To me the greatest benefit of the WLS hopefully will be the help it provides with keeping it off.

Just ignore what other people say. It is your journey and you should use whatever tools you have available to set you up for success.

Thanks for your advice. I'm slowly getting to a place where I don't care about the opinions of others, especially regarding my choice to get surgery.

I still haven't told a lot of people close to me because I fear their judgment or they will try to talk me out of it.

Thanks everyone for replying. I have made the list and the pros outweigh the cons. I just have to learn to get out of my head. I've been overthinking my whole life. I need to learn to live in the moment. ❤️