newhope4me

Ann, I'm a slow loser too. It's discouraging a lot, but when i do see that scale creep down even if only half a mark, i'm thrilled. I do log my meals and activity, when i remember to, on fitday.com; but i hear that the dailyplate is better, i just signed up with fitday first and didnt want to start all over and lose my information from fitday. my mom has always said i do not have any patience, so it is hard for me to be a slow loser. but we just gotta hang in there!

My first fill yesterday! my appointment had been rescheduled twice, so i was thrilled i finally made it yesterday. I got 2.4ccs. I was a bit nervous after seeing a video on a post here where the dr. "dug" around looking for the port. But after giving me numbing agent (lidacaine, whatever) he used xray to go directly into port, no pain at all, and it was a breeze. fill couldn't have come at a better time, haven't been eating as much as pre-band, but i know i've been eating too much. this past weekend, hubby and i went to laughlin and i had lobster (cant turn down lobster!) and ice cream (just 2 of the many things i shouldnt have had). i am hating the clear liquid stage now since i had been eating food, but i know its what i need! today i was craving food, just food, anything edible sounded great, lol. think pms is affecting that a bit too though. now i'm looking forward to some serious weight loss!

I completely understand! I have kept it a secret. Besides hubby, my kids and one co-worker, no one knows. The one co-worker that knows is the chef where i work, and he hooks me up with the foods i can eat, so people see me "eat" and no one realizes i'm not eating the foods i was eating. I was (almost put "am", but no more!) a yo yo dieter, so i think everyone at work got used to me losing only to gain it back. as i've lost some weight so far, no one except 2 people have said anything, because i'm sure they are thinking, "she's gonna gain it back" i don't want to be seen as the failure, thats one reason. the other reason is because another co-worker had the procedure, and she was met with a lot of negativity. not really to her face i dont think. but i know my self esteem couldnt even think about what people were saying about me. there are times when i do think that people know and i wonder what they are saying, even though i know no one does. maybe after i've met my goal and proven i can stay there, i might mention to some how i did it. but that will be my decision when i get closer.

"rashes help get tummy tucks paid for" really? cause my tummy like overlaps from all my c-sections, and i get rashes off and on, and with me losing weight now, i'm sure there's going to be more lose skin hanging over. interesting information

i'm not just blaming WoW, because he is a gamer, and its games in general, but this game specifically. when a new game comes out, his buddy will bug him, til he gets it, they spend anywhere from a couple of days to a few weeks playing it here and there, around the WoW schedule of course, but then its back to WoW. Personally, i don't think he asks me if he should get off or if he's been on too long because he wants help or he wants me to be honest with him or anything mentioned in here. i think he's trying to appear the good husband by asking my opinion. that's my honest opinion of how i perceive it, bash me all you want for it. i honestly don't think he wants to get off the game. i think if he could find a way to make enough money to pay the bills and still play that game, he would do it. we had a nice weekend in laughlin, just the 2 of us. he noticed an arcade at our hotel, suggested we go in, but i had a cocktail and told him i doubt i could take it in there. so we went to our room instead. then on the way home he mentioned that he didnt even have any withdraws, i reminded him of that instance, he claimed he was only kidding. however, there was once he ran down to get a pack of smokes and picked up some ice cream (yeah i had a little too, lol) and it took him an awfully long time to do that, so i've been curious if he checked out the arcade, but have convinced myself that he wasn't gone long enough to play since i know how long he usually plays. after getting back i gave in and let him buy this tv (42" hd, flat whatever tv). i tried to talk him out of it, since he doesnt reallly watch tv except for like 3 shows a week. i know eventually he wants to get a ps3 (we've got everything else, wii, xbox360, ps2, etc) and thats what he wants it for. i'm such a pushover. i know he doesnt realize how much time he spends on there. what he misses. i've told him several times when he complains about my daughter not respecting him or something, she doesnt see you, except when you go thru the other room for some reason, and usually you find something that she's doing wrong, but yet you expect her to treat you differently. the few times he has come in and spent time w/ us, she's point blank asked him, what are you doing in here? he told me that hurt him, but what does he expect? if she had told me that, i would seriously be taking a look at what i'm doing.

everyone had great ideas. the only thing i disagree with is "being his mom". sorry, but even a drug addict has to do it on thier own, my telling him to change will not change him. i will start to tell him the truth though, "yes you have been on too long" "no i don't want you to play" we had something come up and have to leave town this weekend, actually it will end up being a bit of a nice weekend after we finish what we are going out of town for (wont take long for that, other than the drive). i'm looking forward to this time as well as seeing if he has any withdraw, lol. I am going to talk to him about the game and our family. Tonight is a regular "night off" (as if that ever really happens, lol) and he asked if he could play because his friend from back home is playing and he's not going to be able to play all weekend. tonight is ok, as my daughter and i had some things to do, then she's getting ready for a class trip and i have a book i'd like to finish later. funny thing (ironic maybe) i'm taking my laptop with me, lol. but its only if he has to go w/ his grandpa for a bit i'll have something to do. during the middle of a raid, i understand ppl want him to help w/ the battle, but sometimes real life does interfer (o darn). and ITS A GAME! lol his raiding schedule is monday thru thursday from like 6-9-10. but its in an earlier time zone than we are so right when he walks in the door, he's on the game. when i approved these days, i wanted something like you can begin raiding like 8 or 9, that way you can have family time w/ us, dinner, and homework time. but he basically whined (not literally, but thats how i feel) about he's already in this guild, he likes it, and they are in this earlier time zone. i said, find a guild in our time zone, that way maybe you can find someone w/ same schedule. but i'm a pushover. i do sometimes say, when i notice he's still playing after 10, "i thought you guys finished between 9 and 10" then he will try to finish up whatever he's doing and get off. i will admit that towards the end of last summer i took on a new project at work, consumed a lot of my time in the evenings, mostly after my daughter went to bed. so, i rarely said anything about his game. but once he got off the game, i would put my laptop away. there was even one time he didnt play and i was working on my project and he said something about me working on it off the clock, like i should do it at work, hinting that this was our time. but yet, thats how i feel on most days, is that he is playing during "our time" also, one time he asked why i put away my laptop or book when he gets off his game. i told him i felt it was rude to do that when we could savor that time together. he said he didnt mind me reading when he's next to me in bed. but i told him i know what its like to be off to the side, waiting my turn and i wouldnt do that to him. i dont feel i'm playing mind games with him, he knows i hate that game (although today i told someone at work i wish i would have made it, i'd be rolling in the $$$ because most who start end up addicted) i've already told him we are not getting the expansion pack. i do know that if it wasnt this game, it would be another (used to play halo and some others) he's a "gamer" (he says it like its a badge of honor, i say it like its a nasty taste in my mouth). ang, i have heard stories, omg, that are just awful. i.e. a mother/wife/teacher quit her job, left her family, for a guy she met on the game. her family was so tore up, broke my heart. i know it can happen anywhere, but when its someone in a game, how do you know who they really are. i trust my hubby, but it still makes me uncomfortable.

We aren't avoiding carbs, thats why i'm looking for suggestions. Right now, since last wednesday, we've had grilled ckn breasts and steamed brocolli 4-5 times. its gets old. kinda avoiding potatoes because, hubby doesnt like them baked, her highness prefers them mashed, but then wont eat anything else ( she would live off mashed potatoes if i let her). i have heard that sweet potato fries are good, i do need to try that. but i am the only one that likes sweet potatoes, this may seem ridiculous but do they have a strong sweet potato taste that way? (you know, like how some fish has a stronger fish flavor than others) i appreciate the suggestions, some i will try. some wont go over. i like most veggies, but they dont. thats why this is so difficult. hubby loves hamburger helper, gravies, pasta-i'm trying to get away from those heavy foods. her highness is a sugar junkie, today she was home most the day by herself, and ate most of the "sweets" for her lunch (sugar free pudding, apple slices, sugar free popsicles) i'm suprised she had room for dinner. thanks again for all the ideas, if anyone has more, i'm always open for ideas!

ozygirl, maybe i am enabling him, but its not my fault he has this addiction. I refuse to accept that blame. I was married for 10 yrs to a drug addict, this is no different, and still not my fault. he's an adult, he makes his choices, i'm not his mom, i will not tell him not to play. he should be mature enough to face his responsibilities. MHO babygrl, i used to below to a WoW widow forum on yahoo, but i would share things that i read with him, and ironically, it affected our relationship, so i left that forum. my hubby has gained weight, has failed his physical fitness test twice-has since gotten back on track- because of this game. he came close to getting kicked out of the military due to failing that, in fact, we still dont know the final outcome. thats how bad it has affected his career. ang, the following is not meant to offend you or anyone else...i despise him playing with other women on the game. before he got his headset and i would hear girls on vent, grrrr, this is our bedroom, i do not care to hear him having a great time, laughing and enjoying himself w/ another girl. i'm a tomboy myself so have no problem w/ girls playing, but i know how something innocent can eventually end up being something you didnt count on, i.e. your friend that met her husband. i have low self esteeem already, and if we already rarely do anything together, and then he's enjoying himself, has more in common w/ a stranger that can stroke all the right buttons for him, see where i'm heading with this? he has been in i think about 3-5 different guilds, hasnt really slowed him down. in his guild now, its a "couples" guild, he's one of the few who isn't playing w/ a significant other. he's asked me to play, and i asked him who will cook, clean and raise my daughter? he didnt think that was funny. thanksgiving sucked! he was the one who the night before suggested that we watch the parades together, at first i was like, theres no way i'm getting up @ 7, but then i remembered, DVR! so, we got up, i threw the turkey in the oven and then my daughter and i came in to watch the parade, he was playing. he asked if i wanted him to get off, i said no. because, i feel it was his friggin suggestion, he should have known that yes, i expected him to watch w/ us (just a great tip, watching a 3 hour parade on DVR, fast forwarding past all the commercials, parade is actually only an hour) then, i spent most of the rest of the day cooking, he played. once i came in for something and he asked if it was ready, i told him, dont worry i'll bring it to you. he got this look on his face (exactly the look i was going for actually) that damn, i screwed up. he did get off to eat w/ us. then we got into an arguement. i asked who he was playing with, one is his best friend from back home. i asked what the hell was he doing playing, he's got 4 kids and a wife he should be spending time with. hubby told me, "he already ate" this incensed me! i told him, "o sorry, didn't realize that thanksgiving was just the food, i was under the impression that it was the whole day." that, i believe, is when i told him that i'm tired of the cycle and i'm not going to argue about it anymore. sorry for such a long post, just trying to dump all this crap. today my daughter and i and a friend were seriously thinking about doing an intervention with him.

i'm glad your son stopped playing, i wish my hubby would get tired of it. he's been playing about 3 years, with the only long term break being while he was deployed to iraq. but even over there he built a server so some of the guys there could play, of course not even close to the obsession level that is available here

I know in my first post i said, "i know i should be more assertive and make him give it up" what that means is that he claims that if i were to tell him to quit playing for good, he would. but i dont want it to be like that. i agree w/ everything you've said. especially that i'm not his mom. he constantly tells me, if you want me to get off the game, just tell me. i'm not your mom, you should be mature enough to know when you need to get off. it is exactly like an addiction. that why i left my first husband-his was drugs, i dont see much difference between the drugs and this game. what i hate is that i struggle w/ self image issues anyway and when i get frustrated w/ this i just feel like i can never be enough for anyone, they have to have this addiction. i know thats not true, i know his problems are not my fault and i cant change it. but at least once a month i struggle w/ those thoughts in my head. what makes it worse is that when he doesn't play, he is very affectionate, very attentive, constantly saying "i love you" etc. and i guess that makes it more difficult to deal w/ him not hearing me when i'm talking to him because he's playing, or when he doesnt realize that i have fixed my hair and have all this friggin makeup on. rules...suppossedly the rules are, his raiding days are monday thru thursday ( i gave him 4 out of 7 days for this, that was my offer, even though i still think 4 out of 7 is too many), that is his raiding schedule w/ his guild. so, on those days he rushes home, jumps on the game and he's there until 10-1. if we have something on a raid day, Lord i hope i give him notice or he makes a big deal how he has to let them know that he cant make it, God forbid he's not there. (and i just want to shout, "IT'S A GAME!") but he will take a day off the raid for us for something at school or whatever. on days when he doesnt have raid, well, i feel like i have to entertain him, he says i dont but i FEEL like i have to because if he gets bored, or something (actually i feel he's sitting there wishing he were on the game), then he'll "ask" if he can play for a bit. i will admit that sometimes i dont mind, i do have my hobbies (mostly reading, which i dont like to do while he's next to me, i feel like i'm being rude), so if he's playing, i have time for my stuff. but a little bit, usually turns into all day. what drives me insane is he will be playing and asking 500 times, "you want me to get off? have i been on too long?" etc. and he will have this look on his face like he knows he has, but he doesnt want to get off, so i tell him no, because, again, i'm not his mom. if he thinks he's been on too long, then DAMNIT, GET OFF THE GAME! he tells me he will give it up if i tell him to, but like i said, i dont think its right to make him give it up. i read, i wouldnt like it if he told me to give up reading. grrrrrrrrrrr, its just frustrating.

Several years ago when i was in better health i had purchased this product, i believe it was either low fat or low sugar Peanut Butter substitute. I think it was called something like p-not butter or similiar. I know it had "not" in the name. I loved this stuff, and whenever i lose weight, i crave peanut butter. I have tried to find it, but to no avail. I was living in S. California when i purchased it. If anyone knows what i'm talking about, where i can buy it, or if its not nationally available, i may be willing to buy it from someone to send to me.

I'm a self pay, and i am also the type of person who feels guilty for spending money on myself, but this is one thing that i do not regret. I agree with those who say they wish they would have done it sooner. But getting back to the money, we are not well off (military family), but hubby felt that it would make me the confident person i used to be as well as help me avoid later health issues that family members have. The money we save by me not eating enough for 4 people goes towards paying this off, it balances out. Also, as my eating habits had to change, and i'm the grocery shopper, everyone's eating habits have changed. This provides my daughter a healthier life and hopefully a healthier future.

Liz, I understand what your saying, but its not always true. I know many overweight people who do not feel insecure. Be it the way they were raised, maybe the environment they grew up in wasn't so negative against overweight people, or whatever, they are very confident. I doesnt always happen that heavy people are insecure and made fun of (yes, maybe it does happen to them, but maybe they are lucky and oblivious to it). Plus there are people that find larger bodies sexy, in fact, i once had a man tell me he thought i was not big enough. My daughter (who is a bean pole) came home crying a couple of years ago because the little girl down the street told her she was too skinny and made my daughter feel like crap about being thin. The other little girl is a thick girl, not fat, but thick (personally i hate that word because i've heard myself described that way, but couldnt think of another word). The other little girl is very confident, very sure of herself. She is a lovely girl, no matter her size, except of course the day she made my daughter feel like crap. I still believe in emphasizing the health benefits and not the weight issues. And just think, the healthy eating habits we teach them when they are young will (hopefully) carry on into the next generations.

i've only had one person say (besides hubby) who asked if i had lost some weight. i really wish more had noticed, but i think because i've done the yo yo thing so much, they probably just think i'm on the downward slope again. but i cant wait til they notice that its not coming back on!

my fill was postponed until monday the 5th. i feel like a pig i've been eating so much lately. i'm glad i didnt set my goal too high. i know i'm not eating even close to what i used to be able to eat (preband) but i know its much more than i should be eating. it almost feels like as soon as theres a little room, that means i can put something else in there. hope monday comes fast!

i have been banded for almost 2 months now and i have a daughter. I never wanted her to think i did this because i am "fat" and this will make me "skinny" as both connatations are negative(and i don't allow the kids to say those words). I emphasized the health aspects. I am going to be 40 this year, and yes there are many health aspects i want to avoid so as not to follow in many family members footsteps. my daughter at this time has no weight issue, but she is nearing an age where i dont think it matters, as society and peers will influence her a lot (hopefully i have prepared her for this and it wont counter anything i've taught her thus far), i believe i only mentioned the weight loss as a side effect of getting healthier, not as my goal. i think if she were younger, i wouldnt mention the weight loss at all, only the health benefits, the change in eating for my health (as mentioned previously, i.e. breathing easier, being able to run around w/ her, etc). i agree with you she should not be singled out, you sound like a great mom. my family has changed its eating habits due to my new restrictions. they arent eating exactly the same amounts/ foods, but we have no more sugary items, only healthy carbs, real foods, not junk foods in the house. My boys, both grown, know what the band does, but even with them, i emphasized the healthy benefits. I don't think the band was made only for people to get "skinny" otherwise it wouldnt be required to be of a certain bmi, or have specific health issues. if it was only to get "skinny" hell, those size 7's would be getting it to get into size 0's.

Southern Arizona, but grew up in itty bitty town in Kansas

I know i am a cheap date now though. a couple of weeks after my band i had to taste a cocktail someone at work made to see if it was correct, omg! a sip and i felt it! i think one glass, sipped slowly should be ok. but remember to take into account for the calories

ok, this section does say "off-topic" which this is completely off topic! I just need to get this out, and maybe after seeing it down i'll think of a way to deal with this or maybe someone will have some great advice for me (telling someone to go f*** themselves does not count as advice, lol) ok...at work about 6 months ago we hired a new department head at work. she originally applied for a lower position, but when the GM saw where she was trained (considered one of the top in the field), he offered her this supervisory position. she claimed to have supervisory experience quite a few years earlier. At first, she seemed a Godsend. Probably because the one who held her position before was a complete waste of space (in a 2 yr period she had missed at least 60 days, not counting her days off, vacation or days where she put in less than 5 hours). Well, as time has passed, her staff has of course had complaints. In the beginning I'm sure it was mostly because they were suffering adjustment pains, testing the waters, etc. But as I have to work with her sometimes as well, I have noticed shortcomings. Her staff has gone to the GM. I have mentioned things a couple of times to the GM as well. And in the beginning the GM dealt w/ these complaints as they are just complaining because she's not #1 (the one that used to be in that position). Then he started saying, they need to stop working against her and help her adjust and teach her how to do these things. And now its to the point that he has told her staff he doesnt want to hear any complaints. I too have learned not to complain about her. BUT...she is scatterbrained! she has her priorities screwed up, she doesnt know how to order stock (overstocked on items that will sit forever, running out of items that fly out); she doesnt know how to schedule her staff appropriately (has affected her budget negatively for at least 2 months in a row); is more concerned with aesthetics than customer service (we need to polish silverware, not find customers a seat-that happened at our busiest day of the year!) She's been here 6 months and doesnt know how to schedule her staff? shouldn't that be one of the first things she should do? as soon as she reports for duty, she's constantly running...but its like a chicken-with-its- head-cut-off running, she's constantly misplacing things (left her keys on a customers table, didnt get them back for 3 days). she is rude to her staff, she has pushed at least 2 of them, suppossedly joking, but those who saw it didnt see it as a joke. But the GM (and no they arent sleeping together, but seems like something is there) seems oblivious to it, even when confronted by it. I know the GM has seen some of this. There are staff that are getting resumes ready to leave, 2 have left. Maybe the GM doesnt want to admit he was wrong, but doesnt letting her stay make him look like a fool? Especially since some of the staff knows she originally applied for a lesser position, but the GM offered her this one. This GM has turned this company around, is a great boss, but i just don't know why he is allowing this. its really frustrating, we want the company to continue in an upward trend, but i think this might bring us down.

thats the only thing hubby wont give up-his mountain dew! i wish i could get soda out of the house. i've tried to sneak in mountain dew diet, mixed it half and half, he noticed right away, lol. but my daughter is finally down to about only 1 or 2 sodas a week. (hubby has his own mini fridge for his sodas, keeps em out of her sight and hopefully out of mind more). she hasnt been to her dad's in about 4 years, but last time she was there i dont think she drank any Water or milk or anything other than pepsi. fortunately, he's in jail and she wont be going to visit him anytime soon. i'll have to get that cook book though!

Coltonwade, you mentioned making cakes w/ veggies in them...i used to make zuchinni bars, the richest brownies you have ever tasted! so, is that possibly healthier? i'm just wondering because my kids (and I) love them. i made an upside down banana cake a week ago, i finally told my son (i know i'm a terrible mother for this, but he's a bean pole) to eat the rest of it (2/3- 3/4 was left) so that i wouldn't be tempted by it. i do pretty good, but i have switched over the whole family to healthier foods, there is only chicken and turkey in our freezer now. even though i have skim milk, i just got them down to 2% (they dont even realize it yet because its in a whole milk carton). my daughter's school lunch now contains fresh fruits and veggies and burritos (low fat chz and wheat tortillas) instead of chips and Cookies and a cold cut sandwich or heatable sandwich. she also drinks 100% juice instead of 10% juice 90% sugar. i had to do this so that i wouldnt be tempted. once a week they are allowed to order pizza or get a burger or something. my son, the beanpole is the only one who raised a fuss. only because a strong wind would blow him away, lol. but as he is 21 he moved in with a friend, and took what bad foods were left in the house. (he didnt move out because of the food, timing was a conicidence)

too many to list! i have seen so many that are so cute! and boots too, i would love to be able to wear boots, but never can get them over my calves

MacMadame, i wish. its a small operation really, another dept. head would be one to talk to him, but he's a kissup and i think he would make it more like i'm causing trouble than having the GM take a look at himself. whats ironic is that when the all employees went on our annual employee trip out of town, the GM's wife and I, who are friends, hung out the whole time, and there was once when we both had a bit too much to drink and were holding hands, not because of any hanky panky, but basically to assist each other to walk (we weren't stumbling down drunk, but both had heels on and were giggly, just safer to hold hands), the GM said that people were talking about that. so she and I kinda cooled our friendship a bit. because we don't want anyone to think anything inappropriate. we are both married, and we just don't need that kind of gossip going around. but now its like he doesn't realize how he is looking to the staff and dare i say that his wife did used to work for him, that in fact is how they met. i also have learned that i cannot say anything negative to the GMs wife because she is also friends w/ "Jen" and now defends her.

My fill had to be postponed, it was suppossed to be today. The drs are out next week, so I don't know when it will be. even though i was a bit nervous, i was looking forward to it. hubby asked me if i'm still losing, slowly yes, but i explained to him that i feel like i could eat a cow. i liked the feeling of getting full quicker. hopefully my fill will be soon.

the week before my procedure my husband tells me that because he failed his physical fitness exam (he's a Marine) he could get kicked out. talk about stress, i didn't want to go through with it because of the debt we could face if we didnt have his income. he finally convinced me to go ahead with it. he since has improved his score on his physical and even though he may still be facing problems, i feel more confident and i'm only just beginning. he assures me that even if something happens, he will do whatever he needs to to keep us in the lifestyle we all have come accustomed to. but i know how you feel, i was so scared about our future. there are still times that i worry but i feel it was worth it. hubby feels it was worth it, not because i'm losing weight, but because i'm gaining confidence. and in the long run, it will improve your health, which can be more expensive than the band long term